Chris Christie – weighing down New Jersey

The word on the street is that New Jersey’s corpulent crown prince – Republican governor Chris Christie – is eying a run for the White House in 2016.

Hopefully, if he ever does, people will remember what a thoroughly disgraceful job he’s been doing running New Jersey.

This is the man who ran on a campaign of fiscal responsibility – lambasting Democratic incumbent John Corzine for wasteful spending while in the gubernatorial chair.

Yet how has Christie himself behaved?

• He’s surrounded himself with a larger administration than former governor Jon Corzine, costing the New Jersey taxpayer $440,000 more per year (while he’s simultaneously demanded cuts in every other government department.)
• And although a millionaire like former governor Corzine, Chris Christie is pocketing the $175,000 salary that Jon Corzine refused to.
  

In terms of policies, Christie has talked tough about cutting taxes and cutting spending, all in an effort to reduce the state’s $11 billion deficit. Yet how has he fared?

• He shed 1,300 government jobs and cut $820 million from New Jersey’s schools.
• Simultaneously, he negated all those savings by allowing a tax bill to expire which would give New Jersey’s richest 2% a billion dollar tax cut.

In perhaps his biggest blunder so far, Chris Christie’s administration bungled paperwork which would have given NJ schools almost half a billion dollars in federal funding.

His response?

“I’m taking responsibility. You want to take shots? Take shots at me.”

Yet as soon as the news cameras start rolling, where does Chris Christie pass the buck?

"This is stuff the Obama administration should answer for. When President Obama comes back to New Jersey, he's going to have to explain to the people of New Jersey why he's depriving them of $400 million.”

Similarly, he stood firm in support of his team - to a point.

“Am I happy about it? Of course not – but I’m not gonna fire somebody over this.”

Yet a few days later, he did exactly that – canning State Education Commissioner Bret Schundler for ‘misleading him’ about the cause of the blunder.

Yet if Christie was really looking to find who was responsible for screwing up, he need only look in a mirror. Just days before the paperwork was due to the federal government, it had been completed – correctly – with the support of the New Jersey Education Association.

But the day the paperwork was due to be submitted, Christie’s administration scrapped the completed paperwork (which would have won the federal funding) and instead submitted a version that he claimed was not “compromised to achieve a contrived consensus among various affected special interest groups.”

It was also not “compromised” by the inclusion of the correct information, hence New Jersey loosing out on the funding.

If Christie’s administration hadn’t attempted a last-minute bait-and-switch, and submitted the previously agreed-upon application, this debacle would never have happened and our schools would be $400 million richer because of it.

"New Jerseyans deserve an honest accounting from Gov. Christie about what truly happened with this costly error," State Assembly speaker Sheila Oliver demanded. So far, she's still waiting.

Chris Christie: Larger than Life. Larger than a lot of things, actually...

In his short tenure in office, Chris Christie has demonstrated complete hypocrisy, total incompetence and a resolute failure to take responsibility for anything.

The fact that he’s considered one of the ‘up and coming’ stars of the modern Republican Party - and a viable presidential candidate - reflects very badly on the GOP. They'd be best advised to do what I hope New Jersey will in 2013 - ditch this dead weight and find a competent candidate instead.

Blogging News

As readers of Militant Ginger will be aware, I have a bad habit of starting promising new blogs and subsequently neglecting them with blithe indifference (renaissancebabes.blogspot.com and steampunkgeneration.blogspot.com spring to mind!

But in the mindset of eternal optimism, I've undertaken a new project celebrating the viticulture of New Jersey. Please pop over to New Jersey in a Bottle to find out more!


And in the meantime, I'll get to work updating my much neglected side projects...

The Democracy Debate

So yesterday, voters across the nation hit the polling stations.

Here in New York, Michael Bloomberg won an unprecedented third term as Mayor of New York City, although the race was much closer than anybody anticipated.

Democratic candidate Bill Thompson ended up netting 46% of the vote - almost ten points more than anybody had expected. That still wasn't enough to usurp Independent incumbent Bloomberg and that was something the whole city should be grateful for. Bloomberg was undeniably the superior candidate.

In New Jersey, Republican Chris Christie managed to pull victory out of the hat - nailing incumbent Democrat Jon Corzine by four and a half percentage points. Many people had expected Christie's campaign to be derailed by the popularity of Independent candidate Chris Daggett - who'd polled as high as 20% in the weeks prior to the vote. However, in the end less than 6% of people voted for Daggett and those that didn't invariably supported Christie.

In upstate New York, the right-wing suffered a deliciously well-deserved defeat in the special congressional election. The original race was supposed to be between Democratic candidate Bill Owens and moderate Republican Dede Scozzafava - one of the few women in the GOP. However, hard-line conservatives within the party - including vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin and right-wing television hack Glenn Beck - fought bitterly to oust Scozzafava because of her support for gay equality and abortion rights (which mad her an 'unacceptable' candidate, despite her having the full support of local party members.)

A tearful Scozzafava stood down from the race, to be replaced by hard-line Conservative Douglas Hoffman. However, the voters soundly rejected his conservative rhetoric and Bill Owens won an election that would clearly have gone to Scozzafava if the Republicans hadn't been so pig-headed about ousting her. Their loss is their fault.

Most disappointingly of all, voters in Maine supported 'Question 1' - a motion to overturn the court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage in that state. It was a close battle - with 47% of voters supporting marriage equality - but the message was clear. Just like California before it, the majority of residents still weren't behind gay marriage.

All in all, there were a mixed bag of results. Personally, I was very happy with the results in New York - both in the mayoral elections and the upstate congressional election. Michael Bloomberg is an honest and pragmatic politician with the city's best interests at heart, while the extreme right-wing of the Republican party needed a firm and unequivocal bitchslap to remind them that America is a nation of moderates - not fire-breathing, Bible-beating wackos!

The New Jersey election was another matter. I was no fan of Christie, as readers of Militant Ginger already know. But my candidate, independent Chris Daggett, was never in with much of a shot. The race was always between Corzine and Christie and as much as I disliked both of them, if I had to give it to either, I guess Christie would be my choice.

I dislike many of his hypocritical social policies and if his record as US Attorney is anything to go by, he's a big, fat, corrupt sleazeball. However, his campaign was centered around the financial mess that New Jersey is in - the rocketing tax rates and gaping budget deficit. If he concentrates on fixing those problems, perhaps The Garden State is still in with a shot of redemption.

As for Maine? It's disappointing. Just like with Proposition 8 in California, I find it ridiculous that the right-wing wasted so much money, energy and time to take away the rights of other people. 'Protecting' marriage is a farce. Same-sex marriage actually supports monogamy and commitment - while the 'institution' that the right wing are trying to 'protect' is a broken system that ends in divorce in the majority of cases.

But the people spoke - and even if you don't agree with what they said, it's important that we at least live in a country that gives them a chance to say it. Compare American democracy to what transpires in Europe - in which a states-wide 'constitution' is ratified without letting the majority of voters ever have a say in it. Why? Because if democracy was allowed to run it's course - and the people of Europe were actually given a vote - the treaty would be soundly and irrevocably voted down.

America is at least a country in which the people have a voice - and the government is transparent enough to let them use it, even if that means the 'people' don't always end up making the 'right' decision.

New Jersey Governor's Election: Corzine or Christie?

Tomorrow's the big day - when New Jersey residents pick between incumbent governor, Democrat Jon Corzine, or outspoken opponent, former US Attorney Chris Christie.

I've already written about Republican Chris Christie - and how his shameful record of corruption makes him a horrible choice for Governor. Fortunately, I'm not the only person to realize this - and recent opinion polls have shown that Christie's dropped from the clear favorite to running neck-and-neck with Jon Corzine.

(Unfortunately, independent Chris Daggett doesn't look like he has much of a shot.)

Christie's reversal of fortunes can largely be blamed on the incompetence of his own campaign. Bickering with Corzine over negative campaign ads is childish enough - but even more so when Christie's major whine was that Corzine's commercials 'emphasised his fatness.'

Christie also scored an own-goal when fellow Republican Joe Wilson arrived to press-the-flesh and support Christie's campaign. Wilson is best known as the man who yelled 'You lie!' at President Obama during a joint session of the houses - a churlish, irascible bully whose behavior doesn't win him much favor in 'civilised' New Jersey.

And just when you thought Christie's campaign couldn't get any more farcical, it does. Rather like a sketch from their popular 70s TV show, Christie's now being sued by none than Monty Python themselves - for copyright infringement.

A Christie campaign ad used cuts from Monty Python sketches to ridicule Jon Corzine - but permission to use the footage was never asked for, and certainly never paid for. It was shameless misappropriation of somebody else's intellectual property and the ad was swiftly pulled from Christie's website - but the damage had already been done.

Terry Jones, former Monty Python star, told the Huffington Post:

"It is totally outrageous that a former US Attorney knows so little about the law that he thinks he can rip off people. On the other hand -- another of Bush's legal appointees was Alberto Gonzales and he didn't seem to know much about the law either..."

Chris Christie is a joke. I'd even rather take insidious weasel Jon Corzine over this loud-mouthed, blustering clown - and hopefully the majority of voters will decisively agree with me when they head to the polling stations tomorrow.

Vote 'Chris Daggett' for New Jersey Governor!

Daggett for NJ Governor

In just a few weeks, residents of New Jersey will be voting for somebody to fill the governor's seat. Currently, it's a not-so-tight race, with Republican Chris Christie leading the incumbent Democrat, Jon Corzine, by a healthy margin.

But neither of them deserve to be elected this November.

Candidates Jon Corzine, Chris Daggett and Chris Christie, in a recent televised debate

Jon Corzine's political collateral is spent. As Governor of New Jersey, he reneged on his promise to cut property taxes and has instead sent taxes skyrocketing - currently, NJ residents bear the biggest tax burden in America. Corzine's tax hikes will continue if he's reelected. He's already discussing raising the tax on gasoline.

Although the economy mitigates some of the blame, Corzine's administration was responsible for an $8 billion deficit in the state budget this year, with a $10 billion deficit forecast for 2010. That's despite enacting 111 new taxes (totaling $1.2 billion in extra revenue) and halting tax rebates for 1.2 million New Jersey residents.

But don't imagine that Chris Christie's promises look any better. I've already outlined the corruption that was rife in his department while he was New Jersey's U.S. Attorney.

Just today, despite standing on a position of financial responsibility - and promising to cut spending, graft and waste - Christie has also been exposed for exceeding federal spending limits during his time in the attorney's office. He used taxpayer's money to fund lavish stays in five star hotels for himself and his staff - exceeding spending limits by as much as 100% on 23 of the 30 trips he claimed for.

Christie claims he only stayed in luxury hotels, like the Four Seasons in Washington D.C., when there was no other accommodation available.

"There is never a situation where the only available hotel in Washington is the Four Seasons," retorted Melanie Sloan, executive director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington. "If you stay there, you've chosen luxury - and you've chosen to ignore the rules."

Even before we begin to compare the policies and positions of these two competing candidates, it's clear neither of them possess the ethics or initiative deserving of the position of governor.

Sadly, the only admirable candidate for the governor's office - independent Chris Daggett - stands little chance of being elected. Despite standing head and shoulders above Corzine or Christie - and trouncing them decisively in recent televised debate - there are electoral roadblocks in place that make his election little more than wishful thinking.

It's a real pity. Daggett is former chairman of the New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection Permit Efficiency Task Force and a veteran of the Reagan administration. He's a man who really knows about fiscal responsibility - yet holds moderate political positions that appeal to a broad range of New Jersey residents. Unlike Christie or Corzine, Daggett makes specific campaign pledges - like a promise to cut New Jersey property taxes by 25% and restructure the tax system.

He's even won the endorsement of left-wing papers like the Star-Ledger, who said: “Daggett’s election would send shock waves through New Jersey’s ossified political system and, we believe, provide a start in a new direction.”

It's just a pity it's unlikely to happen - but on the off chance that it might, I urge anybody living in New Jersey to vote for Daggett this November.

Athiests can't adopt: Seperation of Church and State in New Jersey

"This child should have the freedom to worship as she sees fit, and not be influenced by prospective parents who do not believe in a Supreme Being."

Superior Court Judge William Camarata, East Orange, N.J.

Above, I've quoted the ruling of a New Jersey judge, when he denied John and Cynthia Burke of Newark, N.J, permission to adopt a 17-month-old baby girl.

His decision was based on the fact that they had left the 'religious affiliation' section of their adoption paperwork blank.

John Burke is an Atheist. Cynthia is a 'pantheist' (who believes that God is an all-encompassing abstract principle.) Despite what he recognized as their 'high moral and ethical standards', the Burke's religious beliefs (or lack of them) were apparently incompatible with those Judge Camarata considered necessary to adopt a child (despite the fact that the Burkes had previously adopted a little boy from the same agency.)

He pointed to a section in the New Jersey State Constitution which reads:

"No person shall be deprived of the inestimable privilege of worshiping Almighty God in a manner agreeable to the dictates of his own conscience."

According to his 'interpretation' of that amendment, parents who don't believe in God (or what he deems to be an acceptable, monotheistic version of God) will raise their child to be 'Godless' and therefore in violation this principle (despite millions of children who grow up to have different religious beliefs than their parents.)

To say I'm disgusted is an understatement.

It's such an astonishingly, blatantly, absurdly obvious violation of the 1st Amendment that you have to wonder what planet Judge Camarata is living on, or whether he actually attended law school at all. He's basically ruled that all Atheists in New Jersey are unsuitable parents.

What's even worse, Judge Camarata ruled that Eleanor, the little girl the Burkes adopted, must be removed from their home and returned to the adoption agency - being separated from the only family she's ever known because of Judge Camarata's illegal, unconstitutional and just plain offensive ruling.

The Burkes have appealed to the Supreme Court of New Jersey. I'm praying that they make the right decision and reverse Camarata's disgusting ruling.

If they don't, according to the dangerous precedent he set, all Atheists could have their children removed from their homes and put up for adoption.

In this ruling,Judge William Camarata has shown nothing but contempt for the law of New Jersey, the principles upon which this nation was founded and basic human kindness.

He disgusts me.

UPDATED:

The inimitable Tom pointed out that this article, which is somehow currently doing the rounds amongst Atheist websites and tweets, is actually dated from the 1970s!

It turns out to have a happy ending, too. The Supreme Court ruled in the Burke's favor and little Eleanor got to stay with them. Thank goodness for logic and reason!

I'm tempted to delete this whole post, because it makes me look like a bit of an arse not to have checked the date! But it's still an interesting topic and a scary slice of (fairly) recent history, so I'll keep it up here, with this addendum to clarify things.

Is Chris Christie really going to fight corruption?

November 3rd sees New Jersey's general election, in which the people will get to choose between keeping incumbent Democratic Governor Jon Corzine, or ousting him in favor of Republican candidate Chris Christie.

Christie and the Republicans are launching an aggressive campaign to overthrow Corzine - largely based on the promise of 'stopping corruption in its tracks.'

On his website, ChristieforNJ.com, the corpulent candidate highlights his three step plan to reform the New Jersey legislature:

• Eliminate the Legislature’s conflicts of interest
• Eliminate loopholes to strengthen laws banning 'pay to play'
• Demand greater transparency and accountability in government

Ironically, though, some argue that appeal to 'battle corruption' flies in the face of precedents Chris Christie has set during his own political career. Is he really the man New Jersey can trust?

Chris Christie is most famous for his career as U.S. Attorney for New Jersey - a position he was nominated for by fellow Republican George W. Bush.

During his six years in office, he successfully prosecuted 130 public officials (both Republican and Democrat) for corruption - never losing a single case. He was also the man who set the groundwork for last month's astonishing corruption arrests.

But Christie's also demonstrated blatent favoritism to friends and political allies during his time in office - making a mockery of his 'desire' to end 'conflicts of interest' and 'pay to play' in NJ.

For example, as U.S. Attorney for New Jersey, Chris Christie awarded a multi-million dollar contract to former U.S. Attorney David Kelley, without allowing any competiting bids.

Coincidentally, David Kelley had recently investigated Corzine's own brother, Todd Christie, for financial fraud - and declined to prosecute him despite Todd being ranked the fourth most significant suspect in the allegation (and the three higher ranking suspects - and the eleven below Christie - all facing charges in court.)

Was the multi-million dollar contract a pay-off for letting his brother off the hook?

Christie was similarly criticized in 2007, when he awarded another no-bid contract - worth over $50 million - to former boss and political ally John Ashcroft. The House Judiciary Committee even began hearings on the matter - but Christie was conveniently bailed out when the Bush administration rewrote the rules on such appointments before testimony was called.

The U.S. Justice Department wasn't so forgiving when Chris Christie negotiated with pharmaceutical giant Bristol-Myers Squibb over their $311 million fraud settlement. Christie deferred criminal prosecution in exchange for the company dedicated $5 million to his old alma mater. The Justice Department later wrote specific guidelines forbidding such practices as a result of Christie's decision.

In the lead up to his gubernatorial campaign, Christie's been hit once more with accusations of 'cronyism' - awarding a lucrative federal monitering contract to a company that has donated $23,800 to his election campaign (earning him $47,600 in public finance matching funds.)

So serious are these allegations that Christie himself was hauled in front of a congressional panel in June to explain his blatent favoritism. After being peppered with questions for two and a half hours, a visibly frustrated Christie stormed out of the hearing with his entourage in tow.

“It is very telling that Christie got up and walked out as he began to be questioned about the multimillion-dollar, no-bid contract given to the former U.S. attorney that refused to charge his brother,” said New Jersey Democratic chairman Joseph Cryan.

“If Christie tried to answer for all the other multimillion-dollar, no-bid contracts he gave out to friends, he would have been testifying until Election Day, and none of his statements would have matched.”

In short, while Chris Christie talks big about ending corruption in New Jersey, his record tells a starkly different story. Blantant cronyism, political machinations and questionable ethics are all simply part and parcel of the way this former U.S. Attorney conducts his business.

Perhaps in New Jersey, the 'Soprano state', such activities are simply par for the course. But I find his promise of 'ending corruption' leaving a rather unpleasent taste in my mouth.

Boo Boo and the Choo Choo

Since Mum was working today, Martin and I headed off to go pumpkin picking - another reminder of why October in America is completely fantastic.

We headed off to Ringoes, a branch of the old Pennsylvania Railroad that ran to the nearby town of Flemington. These days, Ringoes seems like somebody's giant train set - a mish-mash of historic old carriages and clunky old diesels.

We took the train to Pumpkin Junction - and Martin loved his first adventure on the famous old American railroad.

Farmer's Market...

Supermarkets are pretty appalling in America, when you compare them to Sainsburys or Tescos or the wonderful French hypermarches like E.LeClerc.

They're dingy, dirty and the range of produce is pretty miserable. There's nothing like the 'ready meals' Sainsburys are so good at and things just look dirtier.

But, I quickly learnt, you learn to overlook your European shopping-snobbery when you pop into the local Spanish bogeda next door, which trades dirty for filthy and throws in a side order of smelly as well.

I'm not too fussed. The average American supermarket is no scarier than a French market, which would have most hygiene obsessed Americans reaching for their hand sanitizer.

Which is why, this weekend, Tina and I decided to break away from the neat, homogenized safety of shrink-wrapped American food and risk 'the wild' of the local farmer's market.

Farmer's markets in America aren't like 'farmer's markets' in England. We used to have the most wonderful Farmer's Market every second Sunday, which took over most of Winchester's pedestrian precinct and sold delicious, but expensive, produce produced locally.

The farmer's market we went to this weekend was more of a shop - or a warehouse, specifically, which had rows of wooden shelves brimming with freshly picked New Jersey vegetation.

Carrots. Spinach. Even parsnips (oh, how I've missed them!) And, astonishingly, it was all a lot cheaper than the local supermarket - and even cheaper than the wholesale shop we get our groceries from!

Plus it's all fresh, delicious and hasn't been shipped all the way from Mexico.

Tina and I bought $50 worth of vegetables (at the local supermarket) for $26 and they were utterly delicious. The only thing worrying was how corn - which was 19c an ear when I first arrived - has already climbed to 50c.

Ethanol or popcorn? Will America have to make this choice? Will I?

In any event, I'm very happy we decided to go the hippy, Prius, tree-hugging route (as some of our incredulous friends describe it) and check out the farmer's market. It's brilliant!

Just because you drive a fancy car...

I was pondering today... (as a Range Rover cut me up close enough to trade paint, the driver unwilling to use his turn signals because that would mean he'd have to put down the mobile phone clamped to his ear)

What's the problem with luxury car owners in New Jersey?

In England, I knew plenty of people who owned luxury cars. Mercedes, Jaguars, Range Rovers and Beamers... And they were all careful, considerate drivers (because they didn't want to scratch their shiny new car.)

In America, however, it seems like getting behind the wheel of a fancy motor means you suddenly have a Licence to Roadhog.

I get cut up, overtaken, undertaken and rattled by a litany of drivers each and every morning on my commute down U.S. Route 1 - but the worst offenders are ALWAYS luxury car drivers.

It's worse when you see them, pulled to the side of the road with their car's bonnet lodged six inches into the boot of the car in front (Ooops. Those fancy German disc brakes aren't quite so effective if you're not paying attention.) Their angry response to the State Troopers is always the same...

"It was NOT my fault. Do you know how much this car's worth? THIS CAR IS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR SALARY, BUDDY!"

I'm not making this up - that's honestly what they say!

I have a fairly British mentality when it comes to luxury car drivers. Take BMWs for example. In England, a 1 or 3 series Beamer equals: Sales Manager. A 5 series equals: Regional Sales Manager. A 7 series means: Premiership Footballer Not Old Enough to Shave Yet.

In a gross display of typical reverse snobbery, I actually look down on BMW owners as cookie-cutter social climbers. People with real class drive real cars. The wealthiest people we knew in England drove a Skoda Estate, for goodness sake!

In America, the decision to own a BMW gets even more ridiculous. For a start, most BMWs aren't built in Munich, but in a factory in Virginia. I mean, to all intents and purposes, they're a damn domestic car.

Then you've got to wonder about the mentality of somebody who chooses to pay the equivalent of my rent every month to lease a monstrous Mercedes... Sometimes when their salary isn't actually that much more than mine (I worked with somebody who lived in their parent's basement so they could afford a luxury Acura sports coupe.)

And finally... What the hell is the point of owning a beautiful built 'driving machine' if you're going to have an automatic gearbox in the damn thing? Really, you're just paying for a gadgets laden dodgem car at this point.

Yep - most luxury car owners in New Jersey are beneath contempt. In order to redeem themselves to society, the following needs to happen:

• Luxury Car owners must take a British-style driving test and learn how to operate a vehicle properly.
• Your fancy car comes with fancy 'hands free' Blue Tooth. Your driving privileges are revoked if you continue to wedge your cell-phone under one ear as you swerve blindly between traffic.
• I own a 5.0 litre hot rod and even I've grown out of tearing away from traffic lights like it's a drag race. And I have the excuse of a manual gearbox. Slow it down, dodgem driver.
• Quit acting so entitled. Your $1,500 a month lease doesn't mean you're better than other people. It just means you have more money than sense.

And I'd also like to answer some commonly asked questions from luxury car owners:

• Yes, I understand BMWs are beautifully made cars. The BMW manufacturing excellence dates back to when they were building engines for Fokke Wolfe fighter planes.
• Yes, I understand Mercedes are beautifully made cars. The Mercedes manufacturing excellence dates back to when they were building staff cars for high-ranking Nazi officers.
• Your Jaguar/Range Rover is just a rebadged Ford. Sorry, buddy. Nil pointes.

Okay. Rant is over. You can go about your business now.

Friendly Fire Terminates Kitty

JEFFERSON TOWNSHIP, New Jersey (AP) -- A piece of artillery that was apparently misfired by the military crashed through the roof of a New Jersey home miles away Friday and injured a young girl's cat, which had to be euthanized, officials said.

Yay! Good to know such an efficient and tightly run military organisation is stationed mere miles away from my house.

I feel really sorry for that family - and especially for that poor cat. I mean, the kitty was just sleeping on this little girl's bed and then BLAMMO. In comes a shell, flying through the roof. What are the odds?

I'm still bitter from poor Ava getting hit by a car. I'd be irreconcilable if my beloved pet cat was the victim of artillery bombardment.

This story gratuitously stolen from Erica Henderson's site.

Selling a Car in New Jersey

In our recent search for cars, Tina and I discovered something quite amazing about the New Jersey Used Car market. It's absolutely bonkers.

We trawled from Craigslist ad to Autotrader posting and were astonished by what we saw. Old clunkers, sitting on the driveway, leaking oil, with greedy owners expecting ridiculous amounts for their barely drivable rustbuckets.

And when we went for a test drive? You'd think a hopeful seller might have cleaned out the empty MacDonald's cartons, or emptied the overflowing ashtrays. But, not. You get the car 'as is,' which in this case, 'is' a pigsty.

Nobody expects a warranty when they buy a used car from a classified ad, but you might expect such simple things as a valid Inspection sticker, or some clue as to the original mileage or when the car last enjoyed an oil change. Especially since, when the car's littered with empty candy bar wrappers and the seats are splattered with mud, it's easy to assume the owner took as little care over the mechanics as he did the interior.

But worst of all the sins New Jersey car sellers are guilty of is greed. They simply demand too much for their cars. I've seen 1990 Toyota Camrys with 300,000 miles on the clock being advertised for $3,000. Since when does an owner get to double the car's value simply by messing up the upholstery and adding 20,000 miles to the odometer?

Owners might justify their inflated prices if the cars would sell - but they don't. Visiting Craigslist is a depressing experience, as you see the same old clunkers advertised week after week, a hundred dollars being knocked off the price each time the ad's reposted. Eventually, the car reaches a reasonable price and then, finally, it disappears from the listings.

You'd think people would learn.

But apparently not - so for the benefit of the people of New Jersey, I am going to list some important guidelines for selling your used car (and getting as much money for it as you can.)

Selling Your Used Car

Work out what the car's real value is. Start by visiting Kelley Blue Book online and finding out just how much similar cars are going for.

You can get an accurate price guide based on your car's make, model, mileage, features and condition. This is what your car is actually worth - and believe me, canny buyers aren't going to pay above this figure without a reason.

Invest a little time and effort. The state your car is in will be a pretty good indication of the amount of pride you've taken in it (and how often you've changed the oil.)

There's simply no excuse for not going out there with a trash-bag and a vacuum cleaner and giving your vehicle a brutal deep clean.

Get rid of all the rubbish (including under and down the back of the seats.) Clean out the ashtrays. Empty the boot (trunk) of everything except the spare tire and jack. Vacuum the upholstery and carpets. Spray down the dashboard and trim with polish. Windex the windows. Then, don't forget to take the car to a car-wash and give the outside a good clean and polish.

Ideally, you want the exterior and the interior looking as lovely as possible. Sure, you're never going to get the car 'showroom fresh,' but you'll be amazed at the difference. You know you've done a good enough job when you look at your sparkling car and think: 'Wow! Why am I selling this beauty again?'

Invest a little money. It takes money to make money - and this is very true when you're selling a used car. Just how much money you're willing to invest depends on how much you expect to get for the car - but a few well-spent dollars can really make the difference.

At the very least, think of getting an air freshener to recreate that intoxicating 'new car' smell. Also think of fixing those 'minor details' that could put a potential buyer off. A cracked rear-view mirror, for example, costs just $13.95 from AutoZone and can be fitted in seconds with nothing more sophisticated than a screwdriver. You'll wonder why you didn't do it months ago!

The state of a car's upholstery can be a big decider for a potential buyer. If your car's a few years old, some stains or tears are to be expected. However, investing in a set of seat covers can make all the difference.

I found a set of faux-leather bucket-type seats for just $9.99 each from local discount store A.J. Wright and they make my car's seats look like expensive aftermarket additions (rather than the faded, ripped and sad looking chairs under the seat-covers.)

Finally, if you're expecting primo-bucks for your car, you can't stint on the basics. How long has your inspection sticker got to go? If you're selling a used car, this can make a lot of difference. A brand new Inspection Sticker indicates that the car is in good running order - and the new owner won't need to invest in an potentially expensive inspection for another two years.

If you're trying to sell a car with a nearly-expired sticker, you're advertising to the owner that the car needs work and you're too cheap to get it done. With a car that's 8-10 years old (or older) an inspection normally involves hundreds of dollars of work. The price of your car should reflect that.

Justify the Cost. You want to get the most money you can for your car - but a potential buyer wants to pay the least possible. If you expect him to pay the asking price - or above Kelley Blue Book value - you have to give him a reason why.

With used cars, value is often a deciding factor. Make sure you're familiar with the car's recent maintenance history (the repairs you've done recently are repairs the new owner won't have to pay for.)

If the car gets good gas mileage, make sure the new buyer knows about it (with gas at three bucks a gallon, a new buyer might be willing to pay more in the short term to reduce his long term costs.)

It's worth mentioning insurance (an old American-built 'boat' can be insured very cheaply) and parts (old Mercedes and BMWs are fiendishly expensive to maintain.)

At the end of the day, if you're offering a fair price (compared to the Kelley Blue Book value) and can justify the reasons why your car is a corker, you can hold steady on the price and you'll most likely sell for what you ask surprisingly quickly.

If you think you can stick $1,000 to the asking price for no good reason, expect that old clunker to be sitting on your driveway for a long time to come.

Snow Joke!

Last night, we had five or six inches of fluffy white snow.

That meant it was time to break out the shovel.

Shoveling snow is a fact of life in the north eastern United States. Back in England, I never really experienced more than a few inches of snow at any one time. In New York, a few hours of snowfall can leave you having to literally dig your way out of your front door.

Some people scoff at the notion of global warming when they see all this snow. I'll tell you one thing, though. Despite a load of the white stuff falling several times this winter, it's normally gone within a few hours. That never used to happen.

Even as recently as when I was visiting Long Island (back in 2002) the snow would come down heavy and stay there for days. Townships would often run out of their 'snow budget' in December and then not have the money to salt the roads when the snow came down again in January and February.

It a documented fact that 'snow days' are getting rare. Apparently the rising world temperatures aren't making winters any less cold - but they're chipping days off the beginning and end of winter - steadily making the cold season shorter and shorter.

Personally, I can't wait. Although I used to get so excited by snow when I was a kid, the novelty soon wears off when the roads are slushy and just getting to the end of your driveway is an Arctic adventure.

Look at all the snow I cleared!

Super Tuesday

Ironically, the most mediocre day of the week has become one of the most important for the 2008 race to the White House.

Super Tuesday, also known in some circles as Super Duper Tuesday, Giga Tuesday, Tsunami Tuesday, and (my personal favorite) The Tuesday of Destiny is the day in which a whopping 24 American states hold their Presidential Primaries - with the Democrat and Republican party each voting to decide which candidate they want spearheading their campaign for the Presidency.

Some think today might make-or-break the campaigns of key candidates. Others think it's just going to stoke the fires and make the battle for nomination even hotter. Either way, for most of the United States, today is when we first get the chance to make our contribution to the American democratic process.

New Jersey is just one of the 24 voting states - but a hotly contested one. 127 Democratic delegates and 52 Republican representatives are up for grabs. Today, all talk is about who people want rooting for them in the race to the White House.

For the Republicans, it looks like John McCain has the New Jersey election all sewn up. The more moderate of the Republican candidates, his policies appeal to a broad audience across both parties and he also has the backing of former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, who carries a lot of clout in a state neighboring New York.

The Democratic primary is little less clear. Hillary is a clear favorite, carrying similar weight to Rudy as New York's favorite senator. However, in traditionally liberal New Jersey, Obama is winning a lot of hearts and minds and has growing support from Democratic delegates in urban centers like Newark.

As I drove to work today, a gaggle of Princeton students were hoisting 'Obama' placards in the air at the Lawrenceville junction. The Clinton campaign was noticeably absent.

In fact, she wasn't the only one.

During the Local Elections in New Jersey, I was a little dismayed that none of the candidates had done any campaigning in my area. Despite the stakes being so much higher in this election, I felt largely the same way about the Presidential Primaries. It's very disappointing to have your opinions (and vote) totally ignored because of geography or the demographic of your particular neighborhood.

Rudy Giuliani's campaign came unstuck because voters thought him opportunistic and mercenary (ignoring the smaller states in favor of 'make or break' competitions like Florida.) Candidates from both the Republican and Democratic parties would do wise not to make the same mistakes in electoraly important places like New Jersey!

Ask Militant Ginger

It's that time again - to tackle some of the genuine questions entered into a search engine that randomly led to my blog.

I'm now allergic to almonds and never was till I went into anaphylactic shock...

Ah, nut allergies. One of the most mysterious and growing allergies across the civilised world.

There are plenty of theories behind what's causing the massive increase in the number of people effected by nut allergies. Perhaps in your case, you had a 'bad nut.' I know my reaction to mussels started off when I ate a bad one.

But my blog is really the wrong place to go to find credible information on the subject (as illustrated by this popular post.) Instead, I'd recommend popping over to visit my friend at NoPeanutsPlease - which is an excellent blog exploring the realities of having a child susceptible to food allergies.

At the end of Death Proof, what happened to the cheerleader?

Tarantino's return to the big screen didn't quite live up to the hype. In his attempt to create a perfect pastiche of the cheesy, crappy 70's horror flicks he grew up with, he created a cheesy, crappy horror flick. Death Proof wasn't so-bad-it-was-good. It was just so-bad.

But the film raised some interesting questions. At the climax of the movie, the evil Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) had been driven off the road by stuntwomen Zoë Bell and Tracie Thoms. Rosario Dawson, playing leggy model Abernathy Ross, dispatches him with a stiletto-heel through the eye-socket.

But while the three of them were off smashing two perfectly good classic cars to pieces, their friend Mary Elizabeth Winstead (playing cheerleader Lee Montgomery) had been left behind to placate the unwashed yokel car-owner - who'd been lured into letting the girls take his car off by the promise of sexual favours from our unsuspecting cheerleader.

Her fate is a deliberate mystery. I think Quentin Tarantino wisely decided to let us draw our own conclusions regarding what happened to the cute little cheerleader. Doubtless, our imagination can provide a fate far more titillating than anything he'd be allowed to show on screen.

But imagining for a second that this isn't a Tarantino flick, I think it's fair to imagine that Lee explained her situation to the oversexed car-owner, who was a perfect gentleman and didn't press the issue. How he reacted to his Dodge Challenger being returned in several mangled, tattered pieces is another matter entirely.

Where is Pat Sissons going on Original 106?

My old colleague Pat Sissons has been driving Original 106's breakfast show since radio veterans Simon James & Hill swapped the early mornings for late nights. However Messieurs Hill & James have now left Original 106 - so a schedule shuffle has plonked Pat in their 6pm to 10pm slot. Tommy Boyd will be taking over the breakfast shift.

Pat's an enormously talented radio presenter and while Simon James & Hill will be tough act to follow - they've won three Sony awards for their ribald evening shows - I think Pat is more than up for the job. The best of luck to him!

I need to pee!

This isn't really a question - although it does make me wonder why so many people are being driven to my blog by this four-word phrase. I blame this post, which I wrote while frustrated at the speed at which my life was whizzing by.

Although it might equally refer to this post, which records my brief foray into the world of pharmaceutical sales, shifting a drug developed to treat 'overactive bladder.'

Whatever the reason, if you really, really need to pee, the solution to your problem is probably not to be found on the Internet. I'd recommend the nearest bathroom. Leave the tap trickling if you need motivation.

My Beer Machine beer is cloudy. Do you have any tips?

The Beer Machine! My most aspirational hobby - aside from novel writing - is attempting to brew foamy, delicious beer in this miraculous invention.

All in all, this process is beautiful in it's simplicity. The keg-shaped brewer is filled with water, 'beer mix' and yeast and then left to ferment for about five days. Following that, the fermented beer is chilled in the fridge to clarify it - theoretically producing a crisp, clear beer.

I have tried four brews in all - two in America and two back in England. While I have produced drinkable beer on all four occasions, there are several things an amateur brewer can do to dramatically improve the quality of his product.

• Use tap-water. It sounds abhorrent - the thought of using chlorinated tap water to brew your meisterbrau. However, the most important aspect of the brewing water is to keep it bacteria free. Bacteria can dramatically effect the taste of your brew - and never for the better. That's why spring water - even the stuff you buy in bottles - has to be boiled first. Chlorinated tap water is a quicker and easier option. I've tried brewing with tap water and Poland Spring and the tap water beer was astoundingly better.
• Keep it cold! All four of my brews have experienced cloudiness. This is caused by yeast swilling in the fermented beer. Only a long, cold period of chilling will help sink the yeast to the bottom of the barrel - producing clear beer. This is tough - I've yet to successfully manage it. However, there are two tips that might help.
• Firstly, after placing the Beer Machine in your fridge, keep it protected from taps or upsets. That will cause the yeast to swill (and the cloudiness will never fade.)
• Secondly, try to assemble the beer machine with the gravity spigot (the bit the beer feeds through to reach the tap) high up, out of the murky yeast sediment. It will mean your beer will 'run out' quicker, but should keep it clearer.

While The Beer Machine eliminates a lot of human errors, brewing beer successfully is still a science of trial and error. Keep brewing. Sooner or later, you'll crack it! And you have to agree - there's nothing quite as satisfying as enjoying a flagon of your own cold, foamy, home-brewed ale. The Beer Machine rules!

You can't turn left in New Jersey?

This is true! Sort of!

A commonly heard complaint from out-of-staters is the fact that you can't 'turn left' in New Jersey. No, this isn't quite literal. Cars do have turn signals on the left hand side (although few New Jersey drivers use them) and at junctions and traffic lights, you can turn left.

The 'no left turn' occurs on US Highways - two or more lanes of traffic in which the central partition is blocked by concrete blocks.

In New York and other states, if you want to cross the two lanes of incoming traffic, you can pull to a halt in the left hand (fast) lane and keep your turn-signal blinking until you have the opportunity to cross over the opposing traffic. On a busy day, however, this can block an entire lane of fast moving traffic.

In New Jersey, you can only turn 'left' on US Highways by using a 'jug handle.' This is an exit lane on the right (just like leaving a motorway) which curves ninety degrees to cross over all four lanes of traffic following a green traffic light.

This is how you're expected to make U-turns and left turns on the highway.

In theory, it speeds up the general progress of traffic by stopping selfish people from clogging up an entire lane of traffic. In practice, it's often frustrating because you have to double back on yourself (sometimes by as much as a mile or so) if the next 'left turn' jughandle isn't for a while.

Frustrating as it is, it's a pretty foolproof method. However, you'll still see plenty of idiots trying to make illegal left turns as long as traffic conditions allow it (i.e. there isn't a cop within sight.)

Ask Militant Ginger will be back in February...

Skylark Diner - more than just a diner.

I've already said that one of the wonders of North American culture has to be the 'diner.' Affordable, freshly made food served with a lot more style than the fast-food farce that is MacDonalds.

Since moving to New Jersey, which has more diners than any other state in The Union, I've eaten at some great places - but one recently knocked my socks off and I think it's worth writing about here.

The Skylark Fine Diner & Lounge is everything great about American diners - except more so.

Random Discovery

We were driving up Route 1 to go shopping when Tina demanded we stop off and make up the lunch she'd skipped.

"Feed me!"

Skylark just happened to be the next restaurant we saw - a pretty art-deco style diner with a reassuring number of patrons parked outside. What was atypical was that rarest of rarities in New Jersey - a bar. That sealed-the-deal as far as I was concerned.

Most diners in Jersey can't be bothered to go through the strict regulations to get their liquor licence. Skylark was an exception and a welcome one at that.

Parking up, we discovered that the Skylark was fairly busy even at 4pm on a Saturday afternoon. That seemed to be a good sign - and despite the crowd, we didn't need to wait for a table. As we got led to our seats, two more things struck me:

First off, Skylark seemed just that bit cleaner and shinier than the average diner. Not spectacularly so - but enough to make you think: 'Hmmm. Nice place."

Secondly, everybody who worked there seemed to be universally young, slim and attractive. What with the small-town diner atmosphere and all the gleaming white teeth, I dizzily wondered for a second if we'd stepped out of New Jersey and straight into an episode of Smallville or One Tree Hill.

We sat down in a booth - normally I hate booths, but this one was a good balance of height and depth so I didn't need to squeeze in, but I also didn't feel too low down. (Why Tina, who is small enough to fit in a suitcase, loves sitting in a booth so much, I'll never understand.)

The menu seemed impressive. There was the typical diner-fare of burgers, sandwiches, breakfasts and wraps - but also a broad range of what the Americans call 'entrées' - restaurant style main courses like Chicken Française, grilled Lamb Chops and a wide range of seafood.

There were daily specials on the board and overall, the prices seemed to be only a couple of dollars above the average diner.

While we decided on what to eat, I was delivered a pint of ice-cold Bass - and I mean ice-cold. It had ice crystals slowly sliding down the outside of the glass. The beer was fresh and delicious - one of those perfectly-preserved pints that clings to the side of the glass as it goes down.

They certainly got a thumbs up in the beer stakes!

We also got complimentary fresh rolls delivered to our table - and our choice of three flavoured butters. Pesto, Jalapeno and Apricot. We tried them all and while the flavours clashed somewhat with the flavoured rolls, it was a pretty swanky touch and I was impressed by it.

Tina selected the Mediterranean Salad for $11.98, which was a mixed green salad with grilled chicken, topped with a mountain of mozzarella, olives, artichoke hearts, peppers, tomatoes, pine nuts and crumbled blue cheese.

I chose the less adventurous Kentucky Pulled Pork Sandwich at $8.95, which was pulled pork in a barbecue sauce, served on a kaiser roll with French fries.

The food arrived very quickly and was utterly delicious. The French fries (normally the acid test for a diner) were crisp and flavourful. Tina's salad was generously proportioned and while she thought the chicken was a bit bland, she enjoyed eating everything else.

She also enjoyed making a little pile of poultry in one corner of her plate.

My sandwich was immense. I had a tough time tackling it - ending up scooping the overflowing pork up with a knife and fork. It was lovely, though. The barbecue sauce was sweet and smoky.

Despite how nice it all tasted, in the end, we couldn't hope to finish it. We asked the waiter to have it 'bagged up' to take back home.

Our bill came to less than thirty five dollars (including two pints of Bass and a bottle of sparkling mineral water, but not including the tip) and in addition to our satisfied stomachs, we were both sorted for the next day's lunch thanks to our mountain of leftovers.

All in all, the Skylark Diner was a really great find. It delivered everything you'd expect from a typical American diner at competitive prices. Where it went above and beyond the norm was in the attention to detail.

The friendly staff. The flavoured butters. The home-baked rolls. All stuff that made you smile and think: 'Hey, that's a nice touch.'

For range of choice, quality of food and overall price, Skylark easily beats any typical TGI Friday or Applebees. And considering it's 'just a diner?' That's pretty impressive.

Skylark Fine Diner and Lounge is on the corner of Route 1 North and Wooding Avenue, in Edison, NJ. 1-732-777-7878. Visit www.skylarkdiner.com

Open 7am to 2am.

Considerate Driving in New Jersey

Oh my Lord, how I've complained about the drivers in New Jersey.

Considering that most of them aren't qualified to manoeuvre a shopping trolley - far less a $60,000 Sports Utility Vehicle - driving on the New Jersey roads has aged me considerably. Four of my five grey hairs I credit to my wife. The fifth is entirely down to the life-or-death challenge I face every morning on Route 1.

But it appears I don't even need to be in my car to run afoul of New Jersey's automobile anarchists! Here's the situation we discovered this morning, when Tina prepared to drive to work.

What was even more annoying was the 20 feet of empty road in front of his car! He had a car length and a half to pull forward, but NO. He had to park his wheels directly blocking my driveway. Some people!

North American Wildlife and Cars Built before ABS...

As a keen writer of adventure stories, I have often used the phrase: "The car slewed to a halt."

Until tonight, I'd never actually experienced it. However, driving home at 10pm on Veronica Avenue, I suddenly found two deer caught helplessly in my headlights.

Even before my brain focused the thought "I'm never going to stop in time," my foot had slammed on the brake pedal and two tons of Detroit steel tried to dig her heels in.

There was a Hollywood-esque squeal of tires and the car slewed - yes, 'slewed', across the road, eventually coming to a halt at a 45 degree angle to where she'd started.

Maybe - at a generous guess - six inches from the flank of one startled deer.

Chewing cud, they ambled off while I sat there, gripping the big wooden steering wheel in shock.
Two thoughts...

1. Thank goodness I was sober, paying attention and going well under the speedlimit.
2. Blimey, that never happened to me in England...

And it does... Happen in England, I mean. There are deer there and presumably they are no smarter or less suicidal than their American cousins. But after six months of settling into American life - being surprised by the similarities rather than the differences - it suddenly occurred to me just how different the wildlife is here (whether or not it's splattered over the bonnet of your Lincoln.)

Deer are one thing... But did you know there are bears here, too?

In fact, bears are a growing problem in New Jersey. The militant anti-hunting brigade has been so successful that a growing population of black bears are making incursions into populated territory. The New Jersey DEP just released a flyer about how to bear-proof your home.

Then there are raccoons - who look cute, but carry rabies and root through your rubbish. Possums, who are big rats that scurry through the undergrowth. And chipmunks. Adorable, stripy chipmunks (who I've never actually seen up close.)

Oh, and skunks, too. I'd seen pictures of them, but I'd never seen a skunk until I moved to America.

As it happened, I smelt one before I ever saw it.

Oh, sure. To us Brits, the idea of a skunk being smelly is old news. But just how smelly? It boggles the mind when your nostrils flair, your eyes water and you wonder 'just what the hell is that?"

I've even mentioned groundhogs before. We have one in hibernation somewhere in our yard.

To residents of New Jersey, their wildlife might seem mundane. For a country boy from England, it's like living in a Disney cartoon.

But as much as I love wildlife, my encounter with Bambi and her brother on the road was as close as I intend getting any time soon. If you're on the North American roads this winter, keep a good eye out and keep your speed down.

NJ Bans the Death Penalty

Today, New Jersey Governer Jon Corzine signed into law the historic state legislation which bans the death penalty.

Both New Jersey's assembly and senate approved the measure, which replaces death by lethal injection with life imprisonment without chance of parole.

Although there had been much ire about the move - which on paper spares death row inmates like child sex killer Jesse Timmendequas - in reality all the legislation did was legitimise a de facto ban on capital punishment. No inmate has been put to death in New Jersey since 1963.

The death penalty is one of the biggest contradictions in American society. To many, the very existence of capital punishment undermines the United State's place as 'leader of the free world.'

In the European Union, vocal critics of the death penalty point out that 'capital punishment is incompatible with a civilised society' and cite that membership requirements of the European Union include a total ban on capital punishment.

Supporters of the death penalty claim that convicted murders and terrorists cost the tax payer thousands of dollars every year by keeping them locked up - and the death penalty ensures that the guilty will never re-offend.

However, I believe the ban on the death penalty is a good thing. While convicted offenders might deserve to die (or, rather, not deserve to live) it's a very hypocritical society that considers itself authorised to kill them.

New Jersey votes on the Death Penalty

Today, New Jersey's state government begins deciding on the landmark legislation that would ban the death penalty.

The law, which would spare the eight men on New Jersey's death row (including child sex killer Jesse Timmendequas) is groundbreaking because it would be the first time one of the States of the Union had opted out of capital punishment since the Supreme Court first reinstated it.

The bill is likely to go through. New Jersey is a traditionally liberal state and the senate has a democratic majority (New Jersey's governer, John Corzine, is also a democrat.) In addition, the current death penalty law in New Jersey is essentially meaningless. Nobody's been put to death in this state since 1963.

But there are outspoken critics of the proposed abolishment. No voices are louder than those of the Kanka family, who lost their daughter Megan in 1994 to registered sex offender Jesse Timmendequas, (sparking the controversial Megan's Law.)

"If there is any individual that deserves the death penalty, it's the animal that did this to Megan," they wrote, regarding the proposed law. "To abolish it would be an injustice to our family."

But is that true?

After all, even if the Death Penalty was to be maintained in New Jersey, it hasn't been realised in almost 45 years. The Kankas can fight to bring this proposed abolishment crashing down - but it doesn't mean Jesse Timmendequas will ever feel the sting of a lethal injection.

There is already a de facto ban on the death penalty. All this proposed legislation is doing is legitimising it.

And that's no bad thing.