Eating in America

One of the most wonderful things about living in America is that Tina and I can afford to eat out. This follows on to one of the OTHER wonderful things about America - the fact that every type of food you could possibly imagine is right here, on your doorstep.

Just yesterday, in Princeton, I had one of the finest Croque Monsieurs I've ever had. It was DELICIOUS - and served in a bistro-cum-deli that also sold every French and English cheese you could possibly ask for. And the best bit? The Comte and Brie was cheaper here than from 'Monsieur Stinky le Cheese Man' - who sold his sweaty cheeses from the back of a Renault van on Middle Brook Street in Winchester.

Three thousand miles further for the cheese to go, but it still cost less and looked a darn sight more appetising.

Living in America, though, the best kind of food has to be American. The burger is one of the most amazing, delicious creations known to man and America is the birthplace of this culinary classic.

The burger is everywhere - not least of all because of the good work of Ronald McDonald and his Mickey D empire - ensuring that a Big Mac and fries is never more than a mile away from you.

But here's the crazy thing. If you're smart and you love burgers, you never need to eat at a McDonald's again.

What is this madness, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

Here in New Jersey, there are more diners than in any other state in the union. New York, New Jersey and the rest of the northeastern USA has thousands of affordable, fantastic restaurants serving freshly prepared, delicious American classics and - here's the kicker - the food they serve costs what it does in McDonald's.

Let me break this down for you.

Pop into any McDonald's (there are two within walking distance of my house) and you can get a Big Mac, large fries and a drink for roughly $6 or $7 dollars. That's 1,400 calories wrapped in foil and polystyrene and ready to be enjoyed on the go, or sitting on a plastic chair in front of a dirty Formica table.

If you headed into local diner, like any of five within walking distance, you could sit at a corner booth - with proper cutlery, no less - and order a burger and fries from a pretty waitress (warning: attractiveness of your waitress may vary.)

This would be freshly prepared in the kitchen out back and delivered to your table on a proper china plate, steaming and delicious.

And the incredible thing?

That too would only cost $6 or $7 dollars. And might include onion rings, too.

Of course, you need to tip your waitress - so the price edges itself slightly above Chateau McDo unless you're a cheap so-and-so. But it's real food, served on real plates. It's better, plain and simple. I'm dismayed more Americans don't enjoy the wonders of an American Diner.

That's the rub, though. Despite serving better food and lower cost, American Diners are a dying breed. More at home in a nostalgic 'Americana' movie than in a busy American's modern life, these wonderful little restaurants are slowly ceasing to exist.

I think it's sad that a true American classic will soon be driven out of business and the only thing people will have to remind them of the Great American Burger will be the limp replicas McDonald's serve millions of every day.