Showing posts with label ginger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ginger. Show all posts

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Change.org are tedious, futile bores

Sign a petition. Change nothing.
For some reason, I'm signed up to receive emails from change.org - the self proclaimed "online destination for social change." I've always found their emails tediously self-righteous; like the one today complaining about social media site Facebook:

"Dear Roland," wrote Shelby and the change.org team. "Facebook says that hate speech and incitements to violence are banned and will be removed from their site."

"So why are they maintaining a page called "throwing bricks at sluts" that includes a photo gallery of portraits asking "Bang or Brick"?"

"Change.org member John Raines is going straight to the top. He started a petition on Change.org telling Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg to take down these pages and take a stronger stand."

Hey, while he's at it why doesn't Raines ask Zuckerburg to purge Facebook of all offensive pages. Let's start with the pages that celebrate "hating gingers." They are literally hundreds of them.

Pages and pages of groups exist for the common interest of "hating gingers"

I mean, these pages are offensive, right? I'm certainly offended by them.

But what about taking it a step further. How about taking down other pages that cause offense. What about the dozens of pages which feature Christians arguing that homosexuality is a Biblical sin? Those are homophobic, right?

Hundreds of pages like this exist


How about pages supporting a "free Palestine"? Those are antisemitic, right? I mean, many of them are created by Jewish people, but there are plenty of people in Israel and America who feel that anything less than unconditional, unilateral support of Israeli policy in Gaza is inherently "antisemitic."

Millions have "liked" pages supporting a Palestinian state

While we're at it, let's see if we can combine ginger-baiting with antisemitism. How about this page?


Yep, this page exists
My point is this: Facebook is populated by user-created content - and a significant proportion of those "users" are assholes. Hundreds of thousands of patently offensive pages exist, while millions more could be considered offensive by some political and religious groups.

That's the price of freedom of speech; something Facebook seems much more willing to tolerate than change.org.

I'm not exactly sure what change.org intended to achieve by fighting for the removal of two specific pages, regarding one specific issue, while thousands of more troubling pages remain. I suspect they're trying to get Facebook to start censoring users contents; which is all well and good until you start questioning who gets to censor what.

I'd rather live in a world in which pages proclaim "ginger jews r EVIL!!!" than one in which our Facebook content comes filtered through a tedious committee of airy liberals like the crew from change.org.

Offensive speech, even online, isn't fought by censoring it. That just validates it and draws attention to it. Instead, you have to combat it with reason, or simply ignore it. Starved of attention, anything dies.

Change.org should really turn their efforts to more worthwhile endeavors. Emails like the one I got this morning undermine the few occasions in which they do try and do something right

Thursday, September 08, 2011

TV confirms it: Redheads are evil

American Horror Story: Ginger slander?
Us gingers have had a lot to deal with in the reputation department. I blame Judas.

He was supposedly a redhead; and the reason why ginger have been burned at the stake, tortured for being in league with the devil and generally persecuted ever since.

You kill just one heavenly savior and just look what the consequences are!

And now, to add insult to injury, a new TV show is hit to set the screen this fall - the plot of which hinges around a creepy coalition of evil gingers.

American Horror Story features ill-fated ginger twins, a sinister redheaded maid with an evil agenda and a sexy auburn seductress who leads men to their demise. And this plethora of evil gingers is not a coincidence.

"That's a plot point," creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk revealed. "I'm glad you noticed that."

The Glee alumni explains: "It's all about something that happened to our lead character as a child that involves redheads."

And although Murphy and Falchuk claim "We love gingers," there's one more travesty being committed. Beautiful star Alexandra Breckenridge - who plays the eponymous redhead siren - isn't even a real ginger: She dyes it.

Not only do they besmirch our name - they don't even have the decency to put real gingers on screen to do so.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Ginger Infamy

Apparently Forever Amber isn't the only ginger blogger whose been the recent victim of Internet ginger identity theft. I discovered today a successful online web business selling "ginger" merchandise had been using a very familiar looking photo as it's avatar - ME!

Find them on Twitter

This shot from my school days was presumably purloined from my Facebook page (well done on those security settings, Mr Zuckerberg) and it now being used to hawk fifteen dollar tees and promote witty phrases like the ones below.





Obviously I've reached out to Ginger Problems to resolve the issue. I don't mind my likeness being used commercially - just not without my permission.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Why is Edith Zimmerman getting a hard time for hanging out with Captain America?

There are three reasons why I'm a fan of movie star Chris Evans.
  • First, he's playing Captain America this summer – who is one of my favorite superheroes.
  • Second, since I got into lifting weights, his is the program I've been following. You can't blame me: the guy got positively ripped to play ol' Cap.
  • Third, he shares the name with my redheaded nemesis – the radio presenter everybody in England used to say I looked like. These days, whenever anybody compares me to Chris Evans, I can whip up a picture of the Hollywood hunk and say, with a wink, "Gee, thanks – although I don't see the resemblance myself!"
Anyway. Evans is on my radar, which is why I was interested to read the interview with him in the July edition of GQ magazine.

Chris Evans apparently drinks liter-sized steins of Sam Adams. This makes him awesome.

American Marvel, by Edith Zimmerman, was far from the typical puff piece. Instead, it followed our hapless author as she inadvertently went on a drunken date with the 30-year-old movie star (instead of interviewing him.)

I enjoyed the article. It was fluently written, entertaining and told us a lot more about the movie star than you'd learn in a conventional interview in the lobby of some luxury hotel.

Unfortunately, it seems my appreciation of the article isn't the consensus. On Twitter and beyond, a lot of people are criticizing Zimmerman for what she wrote:
  • "bask in the idiocy of Edith Zimmerman and her blog-core writing style" wrote @insuhyoon
  • "If this were 1999, Edith Zimmerman would have been fired for this behavior. Astonishing lack of professionalism" wrote @drmabuse
  • "Oh geez. Edith Zimmerman's article on Chris Evans for #GQ is an embarrassment" opinions @Samantahhh
Personally, I think they can all go and stick it.


Aside from being a wildly entertaining writer, Edith Zimmerman is also pretty darn cute.

It's pretty obvious that 99% of this criticism is fueled by jealousy and the rest by a startlingly unrealistic expectation of what modern journalism is supposed to be.

[How come its always the least successful writers who have the most dictatorial opinion about how articles 'should' be written? - Editorial Bear]

You get the impression that most of these critics feel they'd have written a far better piece on Evans if they'd been given the opportunity to interview him (neatly ignoring the fact that Edith Zimmerman no doubt worked her ass off to be "given" that opportunity in the first place.)

But they'd be dead wrong. Zimmerman's two objectives were to write a profile of Chris Evans that didn't just repeat the same old trite we can read anywhere, and to do so in an entertaining style. She achieved both of these with aplomb - and I'm confident none of her critics could have come close.

Where else would you have been able to read about drinking beer, bumming smokes and crashing out in the house of a Hollywood A-lister? How many other interviews include being introduced to the subject's mother, or crawling out of their living room window?

As the Captain America blockbuster hits mega screens across America, you'll find no shortage of interviews with Chris Evans – many written by jealous hacks like the ones criticizing the GQ article. However, I guarantee that none of those articles will ever be as revealing as Edith Zimmerman's alcohol-fueled adventures playing Captain America's squiffy sidekick.

You go, girl. I'll be looking forward to reading more from you soon.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Stay classy, Labor Party: Deputy Leader Harriet Harman dismisses rival as 'ginger rodent.'

Still throwing their toys out of the pram after being ousted from office in this May's election, the Labor Party in Britain has scraped new lows in their bitchy jabs at the Lib/Con coalition.

The latest attack hit me pretty close to the bone, because it saw deputy Labor Leader Harriet Harman ridicule rival Lib Dem MP Danny Alexander for the color of his hair.

He's a 'ginger rodent,' the former 'Blair's babe' hissed.

She was making a tempestuous tirade about how the Liberal Democrats have 'bought into' the Tory's radical spending cuts, and focused on Danny Alexander because of his role in the new coalition.

The Liberal Democrats, she argued, have "all mutated into something alien" and in opposition to the party's roots.

Putting that through the Militant Ginger translator, it comes out as: the Lib Dems have accepted that money doesn't appear out of thin air, you can't borrow your way out of debt and they know that only thing keeping Britain out of bankruptcy is going to be a tough tenure of tightening our collective belts.

And in all honesty, Harman's jab about their Lib Dem policies is about as cheap as her shot at Danny Alexander's hair color. In almost all major regards, the Liberal Democrats have managed to wrangle the Conservative party into acquiescing to their campaign promises.

As Liberal Democrat pundit and renaissance man Lloydie proudly boasts, the Lib Dems have delivered on their promises of:
"...increased funding for schools, winter fuel payments, free eye tests, pass passes and TV licences for the elderly protected... oh, and a boost in adult apprenticeships.... oh and a green investment ban. More Lib Dem pledges met and yet ANOTHER Lib Dem win."
He wrote an amazing post about it here - focusing on how disgruntled former Labor supporters are horrified to discover that the Lib Dems actually keep their campaign promises (never a forté of the Labor party.)

And with that in mind, I'm going to climb off my self-righteous high-horse. Ultimately, vilifying Harriet Harman for her 'ginger' comment is counter productive, because it draws attention away from the hollowness of her words and the continued political exile of her party. That's what I'd like people to be really focusing on.

I rather liked how Scottish Liberal Democrat election chairman, George Lyon summarized her tirade: "The Labor Party aren't fit to be in opposition, let alone in government."

As we say in America: "Yeah. What he said."

Monday, October 04, 2010

Bullying and Bigotry: Ginger Edition

One of the biggest stories in the news at the moment is a local one - concerning a Rutgers University student who committed suicide after being inadvertently 'outed' by his college roommate and having his intimate encounter with another man 'live broadcast' over the Internet.

The victim, Tyler Clementi*

It's a horrible story - and the outraged LGBT community has been quick to point out that it brings the total of gay or lesbian kids 'bullied' into killing themselves recently up to five; just weeks into the school year.

It highlights, they argue, a culture of homophobia and intolerance endemic in schools and colleges - one that must be combated by all means necessary.

I completely support them in this mission - but while we're at it, I'd like to use the case to raise awareness of an appallingly similar situation back home in Britain.

Nationally, we Brits tend to be a lot less intolerant of gays and lesbians, but we'd be giving ourselves a totally undeserved pat on the back if we thought that meant we're more 'tolerant' overall. (For 'totally undeserved pats on the back', feel free to start reading The Spectator.)

While Americans are raising awareness of LGBT students who killed themselves following abuse, could we Brits also raise awareness of poor 15-year old Adam Bailey - victim of intense bullying for having red hair - who ultimately hung himself?

Could we Brits start clamoring for justice for 19-year-old Andrew Vickers who committed suicide, after years of being bullied for having red hair?

In fact, I'd love the British versions of celebrities like Ellen Degeneres and Lady Gaga go on television and demand an end to the sort of institutionalised discrimination that drove 11-year-old Kevin Chapmen to consider suicide, after being beaten in the streets and having anti-ginger slogans daubed on the walls of his home.

Instead, I've listened to British friends of mine dismiss once again my complaint that redheads in Britain suffer any form of discrimination - at all.

"I'm just being oversensitive," they tell me. "You have a chip on your shoulder," others complain. "Get a sense of humor!"

Maybe I don't feel like laughing; largely because I didn't have far to go to find those examples of redheads committing suicide in the UK. They died because they suffered a version of that same systematic, institutionalized abuse that drove the gay and lesbian students in America to kill themselves.

I'm not saying it's as bad - but I am saying it was bad enough to drive them to the same end.

The big difference between the suicides in the UK and USA, aside from the reason why the students were getting bullied in the first place, is that the American LGBT community (and moral people in general) are outraged by what's been allowed to happen - and are working together to stamp out intolerance in the classroom, dormitory and beyond.

Meanwhile, in Britain, the majority of people continue to deny there's even a problem in the first place - let alone do anything to solve it.

Another reason why Militant Ginger is proud to be ensconced stateside



* Who, coincidentally, appears to have red hair.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Ginger Solidarity

This weekend I rediscovered the awesome blog Forever Amber, written by one of the most photogenic bloggers of all time (and a proud, totally unapologetic British redhead.)

She can also levitate, apparently.

She's written a few posts about the stigma of being ginger in the UK that are worth reading:
I thought I'd give her brilliant blog a shout-out because I've had quite a ginger weekend.

Not only did I hear about this lovely story - a 12-year-old English girl bullied so much for having red hair that she was forced to dye it - Mummy Militant's American friends also rather incredulously watched our DVD of 'F**k Off, I'm Ginger' and seeing it again was a rather sharp little reminder of how stupid England is (and also how chubby I was when I filmed it!)

Anyway. If you're feeling any ginger solidarity today, send me your address and I'll send you one of these fantastic Militant Ginger bumper stickers, courtesy of those great guys at Build-A-Sign.

Until then, make sure you go and check out Forever Amber's brilliant blog.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Militant Gingers of the World Unite!

The great folks at Build A Sign have teamed up with Militant Ginger; donating some awesome Militant Ginger bumper stickers for loud, proud and totally awesome redheads to bear with pride.


We here at MG - Militant Ginger, Mini Militant, Kitty Copy Editor and Editorial Bear - would be really chuffed if redheads out there would be willing to slap these stickers on their own cars and bear their ginger bouffant with pride.

Getting one is easy - just email me your mailing address and I'll send one out. All I ask in return is that you send us a picture of your sticker proudly in place (and don't worry, we'll blank out your license plate.)

Seriously - we gingers have been the butt of jokes for decades now. Take ownership today, and turn what ignorant people would use as an insult into a mark of pride. Become a Militant Ginger today!

To commemorate Build A Sign's generous donation, I'm going to be returning to my (ginger) roots and running a week's worth of blogs about red hair and gingerism. In the mean time, here are some previous posts about red hair and what it means to be ginger, in England and elsewhere.
  • Being Ginger - "Ginger haired people are the only minority you can still legitimately harass. No civilised person would hassle a black guy just because of the colour of his skin. But those same people, so desperate not to be accused of being 'racist,' would spill my pint in a pub and call me "copper knob.""
  • Prejudice against Gingers - "I must commend the Daily Echo for actually standing up and saying what a generation have been too afraid to - that racism against ginger people (be they scots/irish or nordic) is no better than racism against against anybody else."
  • Ginger is the new Black - Catherine Tate in her most famous sketch.
  • More Ginger Discrimination from Britain - "Tesco has been blasted for selling a Christmas card which pokes fun at ginger kids. The card has left the mother of three red-headed children fuming after she spotted it while shopping."
  • STABBED! For being ginger! - "A 20-year-old man has been stabbed in the back after an argument over his ginger hair."
And from now on, I'm making sure that all the tailgaters in New York know that I'm proud - and unashamed - to have ginger hair.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Gingerism in Doctor Who?

This New Year's day saw the triumphant end of David Tennant's reign Doctor Who - and his regeneration into chintastic twenty-six-year-old newcomer Matt Smith.

[Oi! That's discrimination against people with abnormally enormous chins! - Editorial Bear.]

With just a few seconds of screen time to distinguish himself in, I thought Smith did pretty well - patting his extremities to ensure his latest regeneration had the prerequisite arms and legs - and then checking his long hair to see what color it was.

"Still not ginger!" he wailed.

This was a reference to David Tennant's original regeneration, five years ago. When morphing from one-season wonder Christopher Ecceleston into the inimitable Tennant, the good Doctor complained "I've never been ginger before!"

Yet the British public have shown their typical ignorance of the past by interpreting Matt Smith's comments another way. Over 100 viewers wrote in to complain that his 'still not ginger' remark was, in fact, gingerism.

So many people complained, in fact, that the BBC even emailed me to ask their opinion for a special edition of the Today show they were doing on 'ginger discrimination' (apparently, ever since I appeared in their documentary "F**k off, I'm Ginger" I've been their 'go to' guy on matters of gingerism.)

[Oi, you fraud! That's categorically untrue. A quick search of Militant Ginger's webstats showed that the BBC randomly found you through a google-search - totally unaware that you'd once been the star of one of their documentaries. - Editorial Bear.]

Anyway, my point is this; there was nothing 'gingerist' about Matt Smith's comments.

In fact, it was categorically un-gingerist - a final hurrah in which producer Russell T. Davies demonstrated that he was as hyper-sensitive to the ginger minority as he was to all the others. It was almost like an apology to all us redheads, suggesting that he, too, was disappointed that the next incarnation of 'The Doctor' wasn't ginger.

In any event, I don't have any antipathy towards the BBC for that comment - quite the opposite. As for the hundred-or-so people who complained about 'gingerism' to the BBC? Well, I admire their dedication to our cause, but they sure backed the wrong horse in this particular case. When it comes to blatant ginger discrimination, they'd be better off assailing Tescos for their disgusting 'Christmas Card' I blogged about last year.

I'm as sensitive - possibly more so - to 'gingerism' than anybody else (hell, my blog's called 'Militant Ginger' for a reason.) But I simply object to real discrimination, not the made up stuff. When I went onto national TV as part of 'F**k off, I'm Ginger,' I told the audience I had no intention of becoming the 'Malcolm X' of gingers. I certainly don't want to become their 'Al Sharpton' by claiming discrimination where clearly, none exists.

Anyway. Here is David Tennant's regeneration sequence:

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

More Ginger Discrimination from Britain

"Santa loves all kids - even GINGER ones!"

So boasts a new Christmas Card from British supermarket chain Tescos - replete with a picture of a grumpy Santa tolerating a freckle-faced redhead sitting on his lap. The Daily Mirror have the story here.

Redheaded mum Davina, and her three ginger tots.
Tesco has been blasted for selling a Christmas card which pokes fun at ginger kids. The card has left the mother of three red-headed children fuming after she spotted it while shopping.

"I've shown it to a lot of friends and they're disgusted by it. I just don't find it funny at all."

"I have never seen anything in my life promoting making fun out of people with ginger hair. Maybe I am just being naive but they shouldn't be able to make fun of ginger children like that."

The redhead mother, Davina Phillips, might never have seen anything making fun of ginger kids before, but I certainly have. Remember this ad, with a happy ginger family and the slogan 'There are some things in life you can't choose?'


I find it deeply disturbing that Britain's sinking deeper and deeper into a sort of 'politically correct' fascism, in which you can't say anything remotely negative about somebody's race, sexuality, disability or religion - yet it remains 'open season' on redheads.

The inimitable Mycroft emailed me today with a quote from urbane American Reginald D. Hunter, who announced on Have I Got News For You that the Brits couldn't even get racism right:

"You try, of course - but you just don't get it right... Take Ginger people. They aren't even a race and you give the guys hell..."

He's absolutely right, of course. Prejudice against redheads seems to remain a uniquely British - and uniquely stupid - phenomenon.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Ginger hatred comes to America

Three Calabasas middle school students arrested in 'ginger attacks'

Three boys have been arrested in connection with the so-called "ginger attacks," instigated by a Facebook message, in which at least seven red-haired children were beaten up at a Calabasas middle school, a sheriff's spokesman said this morning. Full story here.
If you search for the term 'ginger' on this blog, you'll find dozens of posts I've written about how English society had it in for redheads. From catcalls to outright assaults, it ain't easy growing up ginger in the UK - especially not since society generally condones or dismisses this ingrained prejudice.

Me as a ginger kid! Victimized because, according to the Facebook group mentioned above: "gingers are not proper humans and should be socially mocked."

America's generally a different story - since the nation's such a melting post, most people are more accepting of different appearences, especially in this area. Since the New York area was colonized by the Irish, redheads historically haven't been as much of a 'minority' as they were in England - not to mention the fact that nobody would pick on a ginger since many Irish New Yorkers were in, or had family in, the police.

When I first 'red' the story about the Calabasa attacks, I was dismayed - was 'gingerism' finally making it's way over the Atlantic? Then I realised that the way the paper was treating the whole situation was different. In the UK, when somebody's victimized for being ginger, the newspapers have a field day with the funny language - 'mugging victim sees red' or 'ginger nut gets cracked.' It's all one big joke to them.

Here in America, the newspapers and authorities haven't really made much issue of why the redheaded kids were victimized - just that they were.

That's another reminder of why I enjoy living here.

I'm not saying America's perfect - there's still an awful lot of ingrained racism and prejudice, especially in certain parts of the country, or regarding gays and lesbians. But for me, at least, it's a whole new world. Stories like the one above make me sad, but the reaction to them reminds me of everything I've come to appreciate about living in America.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

I owe somebody an apology...

In this post, I ranted about a 'ginger' crack made by one of my favorite webcomic creators, Randy Milholland, for his snarky strip 'Something Positive.'

Randy actually took the time to respond to my criticism - and revealed why he'd thrown the ginger zinger in there.

As I mentioned earlier, the characters of Something Positive are all based off real friends of Randy's - including the lovable Jason. Except in real life, Jason isn't blond, as he appears in the comic strip. Apparently, he's incontrovertibly, irredeemably ginger.

So the 'joke' of Jason's gingerist comment was that he's really ginger himself. That turns it from a blithe anti-ginger crack to a sublimely hilarious 'inside joke' that I simply didn't get (and nor would anybody else who didn't know Randy and his friends.)

So now, not only do I realize that Randy's got an even more highly-developed sense of snark than I'd originally anticipated - I can also feel all smug and self-satisfied knowing that I'm 'in' on a joke that other people will miss.

So Randy? I owe you an apology - and thanks for explaining things.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Militant Ginger sics on Something Positive

The name of my blog, Militant Ginger, sometimes seems like something of a relic. I haven't felt 'ginger angst' for a long time since moving to America (except for my spat with Nintendo.) Living in a civilized country, it's easy to forget that I once lived in a nation in which being a redhead meant being the butt of everybody's joke.

But I got a reminder today - from a most unlikely source. Randy Milholland, creator of the fantastic webcomic 'Something Positive', threw in a completely cheap 'ginger joke' in today's strip.

This was gleaned from this comic and stolen under the auspices of the Fair Use doctrine.

It's not so much that it's a 'ginger' crack that annoys me - after all, South Park managed to stretch the ginger thing into an entire episode and I was nearly wetting myself throughout. It's just that it's a lame 'ginger' crack. 'Never trust a damn ginger' is about as funny as some of the punchlines Garfield cracks these days (i.e. not very.)

Well, I'm not going to get my knickers in much of a twist about it, but I'm still left thinking; not cool, dude. I love Something Positive - as demonstrated by my fanboy rave here - but still feel like the 'ginger' punchline was a little beneath Milholland.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Don't Wii On Me! Gingerism from Nintendo?

A family member's on vacation - and in addition to looking after his dog for a few days, we've taken temporary ownership of his Wii as well.

Despite being a big kid at heart, I've managed to avoid getting a gaming console since coming to America - and if you want to know how I occupied my time without one, the fact that I have a baby should answer that question!

However, despite finding other ways to occupy my time, I'd always secretly fancied a Wii. It's the only gaming console that uses kinetic controllers - as in, you wave and waggle them about to control your on-screen avatar. So much more fun than sore thumbs!

Finally, club your family members in the face with a plastic controller - all in the comfort of your own home!

So yesterday, I finally got to try the Wii out for myself - and it's AWESOME.

I played Wii Sports - where you use the controllers to play on-screen sports like tennis and baseball. The tennis game is great. Waving your controller gives you surprisingly deft control of your character's backhand and it's alarmingly addictive to play!



Without exaggeration, this You Tube clip probably sold more Wii units than any amount of Nintendo advertising!

But one thing angered - nay infuriated - me.

When you play on the Wii, you play as 'Mii' - a little onscreen character you can design to look just like you (if you were related to a Weeble.)

Creating the Militant Ginger 'Mii' - although something's not quite right...

You can pick your character's height, width, skin-tone and facial features and even pick their hair style...

...unless you're ginger.

Notably NOT ginger!

Yep, using the on-screen options available your 'Mii' could resemble pretty much any demographic. African, Asian, Indian or Aryan. But there was a conspicuous lack of 'ginger' in the hair options.

Even Rob Zombie has a 'Mii.' But of course, he's just a talented, sociopathic filmmaker - not ginger!

You could go for 'brown' or you could go for a sandy 'yellow' but there was nothing in the middle. My 'Mii' looked nothing like 'me' because his hair color was resolutely not-red.

Hair color options - NONE OF THEM GINGER! Not even a LITTLE BIT!

I'm horrified! Disgusted! Appalled and enraged! Nintendo, what kind of gratuitous gingerism is this? Shame on you!

I am forthwith writing to Nintendo USA to demand something be done about this. As a so-called Militant Ginger, I can't let this slight pass unpunished!

An Open Letter to Nintendo, USA

Nintendo of America, Inc.
Redmond, WA

Dear Sir, Madam,

Recently, I was fortunate enough to finally get to play Wii – and I absolutely loved it.

For years I’d been looking for a way to suck at tennis, bowling and golf in the comfort of my own home and now, thanks to Wii Sports, I can finally do that.

But despite my initial enthusiasm for waving my arms around in my living room - knocking furniture over, scaring the dog and making my 14-month-old son stare at me like I was a lunatic – I have encountered a very serious and offensive oversight built-in to the very fabric of the Wii.

Enthused by my first experiences with Wii, I attempted to use your ‘Mii’ editor to create an avatar who looked like me. Although I was able to approximate my imposing height, athletic build and rugged, yet sensitive good looks, when it came to mimicking my striking red hair the Mii editor completely failed me!

There was no ‘red’ option available in the hair color box! Just a choice between some crappy chocolate brown and a muddy yellow color that’s suspiciously similar to the paint-job on my ’89 Lincoln Town Car. Neither one does the job. I’m a proud redhead – in possession of flaming ginger hair that’s as unequivocally orange as Paris Hilton’s fake tan.

I find this oversight disgusting and racist!

Mii conspicuously makes almost any possible variation of skin-tone and facial feature available to users – meaning anybody from an albino to an African-American can perfectly reproduce their Mii-likeness on Nintendo. Almost anybody, I should say – because we redheads are insultingly excluded from this so-called ‘all-inclusive’ editor!

What if you’d left out options for Asian people to make realistic-looking Miis?

Okay, that’s a really bad example, since Nintendo is Japanese, but you get my point!

My red hair is a result of my proud Anglo-Scots heritage. My ancestors – and their Scandinavian forebears – proudly roamed the northern seas raping and pillaging in order to perpetuate our proud ginger race (and possibly make up for some deep seated insecurity issues – I’m still researching that.)

Between 2% and 6% of Americans are redheaded, so it’s disgusting that Nintendo would so purposefully exclude us from creating our own Mii likenesses to enjoy your games with.

Frankly, the pleasure of sucking at Wii Tennis, or being completely crap at Wii bowling, or even the delight I take in remaining resolutely hopeless at Wii Golf, is diluted by the fact that whatever Mii I choose to represent me onscreen is a pale (well, paler) imitation of my glorious ginger self.

I am affronted, antagonized, bitter, chafed, choleric, convulsed and all sorts of other words I found on www.thesaurus.com.

I demand satisfaction!

Therefore, it is essential that you amend the Mii editor immediately to include an option for red hair. If you fail to do that (or fail to buy me off with, perhaps, a free Wii, wink wink) I will not rest until your offensive oversight and callous attitude is publicized across the nation!

Redheads of the world unite! (Bring sunscreen)

Roland Hulme, a.k.a. Militant Ginger

www.militantginger.com

Friday, August 28, 2009

Ask Militant Ginger

It's that time again! When I trawl through the 'keyword analysis' to answer the questions that somehow drove search engines into recommending this blog:

Why are so many Americans against the NHS?

Lies, damn lies and statistics. Depending on who you go to, you'll find that the majority of Americans want to keep the health care system exactly as it is, or adopt a single-payer system like they have in most industrialized countries. In February, polls put that figure as high as 59%.

Recently, the National Health Service of Great Britain has received a lot of flak, being held up by conservatives as an example of how 'terrible' a single-payer system would be if it was implemented here in the United States. Admittedly, there are some horror stories about the NHS, many of which I've perpetuated right here on Militant Ginger!

But conservatives neatly side-step the fact that the British health care system is ranked considerably higher than Americas - and the UK has a lower infant mortality rate and higher life expectancy. While American health care at it's best is undoubtedly superior to that of Britain - at it's most mediocre, it's arguably worse.

Sadly, there will always be a compromise between quality of care and breadth of coverage. In many ways, the NHS and the American system are the two most polarized examples of each philosophy - and many Americans will rail against 'nationalized health care' simply because of that reason.

How does the American private health care system work?

Very, very confusingly.

In America, health care is 'private.' That means, unlike in the UK, the government don't own and operate hospitals, ambulances, doctor's offices or laboratories. They're all independent businesses out there to make a profit.

When you visit a doctor, or get a test done, you get billed for it personally. As these medical bills can add up incredibly quickly, most people buy 'health insurance' to pick up some or all of the costs. For example, health insurance will generally cover as much as 90% of the cost of an operation, with the private individual paying the 10% difference.

The problem is that health insurance itself is quite expensive, since the bills are so high. It can easily cost $300 or $400 a month to cover a small family. Therefore, employers often offset the salary they give their employees by offering health care coverage instead. They can get group discounts for using the same company to insure all of their employees - and that means the individual gets a keener rate.

Companies cover either the entire cost of health insurance, or a portion of it.

If you're self-employed you can buy your own health insurance, although you have to pick up the entire cost, instead of a company covering all or part of it. Also, because you don't get the 'group discount' you tend to pay a higher rate.

Finally, health insurance is like car insurance - it costs more or less depending on your coverage. For example, you can get cheap insurance that only covers emergencies, or more expensive coverage that covers the bulk of medical costs. Likewise, you can adjust the percentage of the medical bills you're expected to cover 'out-of-pocket' with higher or lower premiums.

The problem with this system is that health care costs are continuing to rise. In the last decade, health insurance premiums have doubled. That means more and more of a percentage of people's salaries are going towards covering their families.

Even worse, more and more coverage is being dropped by the health insurance companies to keep their costs down. This means the consumer is paying more and getting less - and it's a generally accepted fact that there's not enough competition between health insurance companies to keep prices keen.

It's a system that has both major advantages and serious flaws. The problem with 90% of the people who argue about how to improve the current setup, however, is that they're not fully cognizant of both.

What is a derogatory term for a life-long politician?


A 'Democrat'*.

America's longest standing Senator - and former Ku Klux Klan member - Robert Byrd

*Nod to Tom - Editorial Bear

How do you start writing erotica for money?

Let me get one thing straight- nobody got rich writing erotica.

The opportunities for making money writing sauce, smut, erotica and pornography are increasingly elusive, as more and more people attempt to get in on the act. There's a misunderstanding going on that writing erotica is somehow easier than writing anything else. That's really far from being true.

I have made my fair share of money writing smut - but it quickly lost it's novelty value. The pay is low, the competition is high and it's a fairly thankless task.

But the opportunities are out there. A good place to start is with Hustler Fantasies, who publish about twelve or fourteen stories every month (and pay $25 for each one.) You can find out more here.

Alternatively, you can aim for a higher-brow audience, by submitting something to the queen of Erotic fiction, Alison Tyler, or a high-class magazine like Jacques. Just be aware that they have excruciatingly high standards and you'll either be expected to submit your first few works for free, or share royalties with dozens of other writers.

If I haven't talked you out of it, though, I still recommend writing commercial erotica simply to become a better writer. Why? Because it's surprisingly good training for 'real' writing.
  1. Magazines like Hustler have a specific style - and getting a story accepted involves developing incredibly self-discipline to keep within the expected guidelines.
  2. Erotic teaches a writer brevity. Exposition isn't foreplay. Word limits can be brutal. Keeping your writing focused, curt and efficient is an excellent habit to get into.
  3. Most readers are looking for a specific genre - sometimes a specific sex-act - so writers need to learn to cater to their audience. This is the single most important lesson a writer can learn.
It's also excellent training for the simple habits of writing commercially - letters to editors, keeping track of submissions. If you take up writing erotic for money, I can promise you two things. Firstly, if you sell even one story, you will have become a better writer. Secondly, by the time you've sold that story, you'll probably have grown utterly, utterly jaded about how 'easy' and 'fun' writing erotica really is!

Why do women die their hair red?

Because unlike in the UK, where red hair is seen almost as birth defect, most civilized countries consider red hair to be attractive and distinctive, especially on a woman.

In France especially, many women dye their hair red (or some close approximation thereof) and 'the redhead' is a staple of film noir and hard-boiled fiction over in America. A redheaded woman, like the one Bruce Springsteen wailed about, is seen as passionate, sexy, emotional and just a little bit dangerous.

The only problem? You really can't fake it. Because red hair is normally accompanied by pale skin and beautiful green or blue eyes, most women who attempt to mimic a natural Titian end up failing. It can look pretty, but it never looks natural.

And, as I've found out by going both black and blond, that is true the other way around, too!

(This beautiful redhead is Kristen Carter, whose profile on Model Mayhem can be found here.)

What’s the connection between Erica Henderson and Pete Abrams?

Pete Abrams is the incredible brain behind Sluggy Freelance, my favorite webcomic and my first port-of-call when I do the Internet rounds each morning.

Erica Henderson is the sublimely talented cartoonist, artist and all-round everything from I Fail At Life, who I just think is the Bee's Knees.

For a short time, Erica stood in as 'Saturday girl' for Pete's webcomic - allowing him to take a day off from Sluggy to concentrate on his family.

The result was some wonderful artwork that took the wonderful creations of Pete's comic and put Erica's unique spin on them.

Sadly, she's not doing the Saturday art any more - but those filler strips certainly stand out as some of my favorite of all time.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Ask Militant Ginger

It's that time again! Where we sift through the search-terms that people have entered into Google and answer the questions that brought readers to Militant Ginger.

Is Stephanie Meyer an anti-gay supporter?

Stephanie Meyer, the author of the best-selling vampire melodrama ‘Twilight’, has been at the center of much discussion recently. Did she contribute towards the passing of ‘Proposition 8’, the controversial bill that banned same-sex marriage in California?

The issue seems to revolve around her affiliation to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The LDS, of course, are strongly opposed to same-sex marriage and equal rights for homosexuals. In fact, they were one of the strongest supporters of ‘Prop Hate.’

If Mormonism plays such an important part in Meyer’s life (which, by all accounts, it does) surely it’s logical to assume that she shares their attitude towards gay-marriage.

Well, I have a friend who’s a Mormon and if she’s taught me anything, it’s that Mormons defy expectations. They’re individuals and capable of making their own minds up on these issues. Generalizations are both stupid and inaccurate.

So while it’s a fair suspicion that Meyer might be 'for' Prop 8 – that’s a conclusion only reached by making several assumptions.

We assume that Meyer gives 10% of her income to her local church. Then we assume that this church supports Proposition 8 and other anti-gay legislation. That’s why most people assume she supports anti-gay legislation.

However, assumptions aren’t proof – and in her defense, it’s worth nothing that there’s no record of Meyer making a direct financial contribution towards supporting Proposition 8. Likewise, her church didn’t directly fund the campaign either (although over $190,000 was paid ‘in kind’ by the Church’s members.)

That’s proof that Stephanie Meyer’s didn’t directly support Proposition 8 - and even if she does support the measure, she’s remaining conspicuously quiet on the matter. Probably a wise move, as the Twilight franchise is very popular with some members of the LGBT community

What sort of car is a Furillac?

A Furillac? Well, it’s the monstrously powerful sports coupe driven by Simon Templar, in the first of Leslie Charteris’ ‘Saint’ novels.

Although The Saint is best remembered for driving a Volvo (or the fictional Hirondel) he actually started his career in crime behind the wheel of the equally fictional Furillac.

Charteris didn’t give much of a description of this car, but from the name (suspiciously like Cadillac) and the few words he did write, it’s safe to assume that it might have been a powerful American coupe much like the Cords of the 1930s.

In the novel ‘The Last Hero,’ later renamed ‘The Saint Closes the Case,’ Templar’s Furillac falls into the hands of the police and he hits the road in his friend Norman Kent’s Hirondel (a car loosely based on Charteris’ own Bugatti roadster.)

When Kent nobly sacrifices his life in the final pages of the novel (leaving Simon a note – ‘Nothing is Won without Sacrifice’) Simon seems to adopt the car as his own – and drives it for more or less the rest of his literary career.

(Cord picture courtesy of the Kilted Travel Agent)

Can you get a New Jersey driver’s license on a Tourist Visa?

No. In order to get a driver’s license in New Jersey, you have to have a valid VISA that is good for at least six months or more. Even the B-class Tourist Visa is only good for six months. Some states, however, do offer State driving licenses with less stringent regulations (and depending on the state, these can be exchanged for a New Jersey license after proving residency.)

What’s the British ‘English’ Mindset?

This is a question that could take an entire blog post to answer. Perhaps several of them!

From my point of view, the typical ‘British’ mindset isn’t always a positive one. Brits can be snobby – in both directions. ‘Reverse’ snobbery is rife and most people in Britain are instantly judged (and condemned) based on things like their accent.

Brits also have a tendency to hammer down any nails that ‘stand too tall’ and entrepreneurialism, ambition and success seem to be somewhat frowned upon. Brits should, to paraphrase Prince Charles, ‘know their place’ and be satisfied with it.

But moving to America, I have identified some typically ‘British’ traits that I do like. For example, Brits have a wonderful knack for keeping their mouths shut, whereas Americans (especially from New York) have an opinion about everything. Mummy Militant, for example, often frustrates me by claiming knowledge on things she really doesn’t know anything about.

But what this does mean is that Americans don’t take ‘no’ for an answer – and will give anything a try. While I find Mummy Militant’s self-confident ‘expertise’ somewhat frustrating, whenever she tries her hand at something I tell her she doesn’t know how to do – she more often than not manages to pull it off!

Redheaded men are ugly.

That sort of statement is exactly what I think of when I’m asked about the ‘typical British mindset.’

“Red-headed men are surely the most unattractive male specimens on the planet at the best of times,” wrote one British blogger I picked a fight with. “But they look even worse with their horribly pale, freckled skin..”

To be honest, I think somebody who makes an assumption that ‘all redheaded men are ugly’ is probably saying more about themselves than about redheads. What if they said the same about blacks?

Surely we’re all individuals – and should be judged as ‘attractive’ or not on a case-by-case basis, not lumped into one generalization.

Eric Stolz and David Caruso are two redheaded Americans who are generally regarded as fairly handsome. I know more than a few women who go weak at the knees when Caruso yanks off his shades in the opening moments of C.S.I. Miami (and I know a few more who laugh at the conceit.)

Rupert Grint, who plays Ron Weasely in the Harry Potter movies, is fast becoming a redheaded sex-symbol and plenty of girls I know have gone gaga over all the shots of his muscular arms (to be enjoyed in the latest movie, Half Blood Prince.)

Other redheads, like Simply Red front man Mick Hucknall, are often mocked as being unattractive – but it’s a universally acknowledged truth that Mick has more moist panties being hurled at him than any olive-skinned underwear model. In the case of this so-called ‘Ginger Stallion,’ sexiness is definitely subjective.

So I’ll say that redheaded men aren’t ugly – unless they are. Some are really strange looking goons (like Carrot Top) and some are matinee idols (like Charles Dance.) They might buck the trend for ‘tall, dark strangers’ but I’m pretty sure there are more than enough women out there who find a few freckles and a curl of ginger to be just what the doctor ordered.

(By the way, the redheaded model in the picture is from Model Mayhem. His name's Corey Tenold, and you can find his website here. Way to represent for us gingers, mate!)

How do you knock out power to a block of houses?

Oh my God! Why would anybody visiting my blog want to know this?

It sounds like the sort of thing a serial killer might find useful – although now my imagination’s working, I like to think it was some erstwhile adventurer googling goodies for a Simon Templar-inspired act of justice.

In any event, Militant Ginger IN NO WAY advocates attempting to knock out the power to a block of houses. DON’T DO IT. It’s illegal, highly dangerous, totally irresponsible and here’s how to do it:

As readers will know, America’s power system is a wondrous example of the free-market system at it's worst. Several companies compete for the right to supply your domicile with juice – but in the interests of profit, completely fail to maintain the grid in the meantime. This results in regular power-outages, ugly cables strung along the roadside and the ability to paralyze the entire eastern seaboard whenever a tree falls down.

It also means it’s ridiculously easy to knock out power to a block of houses. Absurdly so.

The trick is to find the local electric company’s ‘power box.’ This is a large, locally-situated generator/booster which boosts the power, or amps up the juice (or something) to make it strong enough to light up a row of houses. Knock that out (driving a car into it should work – as America’s drunk drivers regularly demonstrate) and you’ll send the block into darkness quicker than you can blink.

It’s not very scientific – and does carry the risk of electrocuting you – but it should work.

As I said earlier, though, DON’T DO IT. Don’t even THINK about doing it. The last thing I want to learn is that some stupid sod burnt themselves to a crisp driving their Honda Civic into an electricity pylon – especially if they did so after reading this post!

Will there be a sequel to Devil May Care?

Sebastian Faulks picked up Ian Fleming’s pen to write an anniversary James Bond novel on the occasion of Fleming’s 100th birthday. Devil May Care was the result – and was very highly received.

However, Faulks has already said he’s ‘unlikely’ to write a follow up. Initially reluctant to take the project in the first place, he feels that the next Bond novel (and Ian Fleming publications has promised there will be more) would be better suited to another author.

He suggested picking a ‘celebrity’ author for each progressive book – much like IFP had envisioned when Kingsley Amis first wrote ‘Colonel Sun’ under the nom de plume ‘Robert Markham.’

But Bond fans needn't despair. Charlie Higson is continuing to churn out the ‘Young Bond’ books. You haven't read the last of Britain's favorite secret agent!