An Open Letter to the British Public

I have ginger hair. And for some reason, a lot of you have a problem with that.

Maybe it’s because my ancestors; all those burly Vikings with horns on their helmets; spent the dark ages raping, kidnapping and torturing your ancestors.

But maybe you’re just like an awful lot of British people. The reason they’ve been picking on me is because they’re a bunch of miserable, bigoted bullies.

That was a dirty secret recently revealed on Celebrity Big Brother. Put a gang of Brits into a confined space and watch them single out the weakest for abuse. Oh, Jade Goody’s squeezing out crocodile tears now, but let’s be honest. She’s not sorry for what she did. She’s only sorry she got caught.

Yep, Britain’s a nation of bullies. Far from the tolerant, multicultural society we pretend to be, the United Kingdom is made up of a bunch of nasty little racists.

Fortunately, our interfering government has passed laws to protect certain people from this abuse. If you’re African or Asian, laws exist to prosecute those who pick on you. Like little children, we Brits can’t be trusted unless there are rules to govern our behaviour. On paper, we might claim to abhor prejudice; but as Jade and her cackling buddies revealed, we Brits are far more ashamed of being labelled racist than actually being racist.

So perhaps that’s why Brits love to pick on redheads so much.

Redheads don’t have any legal protection. That means the good old British yob can ostracise, marginalise and ridicule us as much as they like with no fear of repercussion. In fact, it’s even socially acceptable!

It must be, since picking on redheads is condoned by newspapers, television and radio. Have you ever heard a story about Chris Evans or Robin Cook without somebody describing them as ‘ginger?’ Or seen a redheaded character on British television who’s not portrayed as a geek, like Bradley from Eastenders, or an unattractive Mummy’s boy, like Martin from Game On?

Just check out the headlines. When Sun editor Rebekah Wade assaulted her husband, The Times described her as a ‘ginger ninja.’ When the BBC ran a supposedly serious story about redheads being the subject of abuse, they gave it the headline: “Carrot Tops See Red!”

And this is supposed to be socially acceptable?

It gets worse. Britain’s obsession with ostracising and marginalising redheads practically borders on eugenics. At woman’s website Handbag.com, one terrified pregnant lady was trying to work out how to avoid producing a ‘ginger’ baby, since her husband carried the dreaded ‘ginger’ gene.

And genetics is the crux of the issue. My red hair stems from my Scottish heritage. It’s a racial thing. So why the hell aren’t I protected by the same laws as people with brown or black skin?

Why does the UK think it’s okay to subject us redheads, who make up about 10% of the British population, to institutionalised abuse?

I think the answer’s simple. Britain is a nation that adores bullying. And if we’ve ruled out bullying people who are black, or Asian, or Jewish or Muslim… Well, we need somebody to direct our impotent rage against.

Sorry, fellow redheads. It looks like we’re taking one for the team…