Gentleman's Emporium – you disappoint!

As readers of Militant Ginger know, I rock two things: The Victorian Aesthetic and slights against redheads. Now a post combining the two!

Top Hat, Waistcoat and Rifle Coat

Today, I was disappointed to discover that the Gentleman's Emporium – the fine haberdashers who have supplied many of my wardrobe items – have neglected to cater to the ginger nation with their new line of faux mustaches.

These impressive stick-on 'tasches are available in a wide selection of styles and colors – from ash blonde Ambassador to black Oil Can Harry – but none appear to match my hair color, or that of any of my ginger brethren!
This is disappointing, to be sure.

While redheads comprise only a tiny fraction of the population, there is a statistical spike amongst cosplayers and steampunkers (likewise Renn Faire attendees and comic con vistors.)

Similarly, American and Victorian history had a higher-than-the-national-average percentage of redheads in roles of leadership and note (from Thomas Jefferson to Winston Churchill.)

I've accepted that many companies are guilty by omission when it comes to gingers (Nintendo dismissed my complaint that you couldn't make a redheaded Mii) but I had hoped the Gentleman's Emporium would be a bit more evolved in this matter.

After all, I'm a loyal customer of theirs and a fierce ambassador of their brand (where did I get this cool rifle coat, you ask? Let me give you the website.) It's not nice to be unable to add a fine mustache to my collection of nifty Victorian costuming.

(Personally, I think I'd rock a Barbershop mustache.)

Ginger Infamy

Apparently Forever Amber isn't the only ginger blogger whose been the recent victim of Internet ginger identity theft. I discovered today a successful online web business selling "ginger" merchandise had been using a very familiar looking photo as it's avatar - ME!

Find them on Twitter

This shot from my school days was presumably purloined from my Facebook page (well done on those security settings, Mr Zuckerberg) and it now being used to hawk fifteen dollar tees and promote witty phrases like the ones below.

Obviously I've reached out to Ginger Problems to resolve the issue. I don't mind my likeness being used commercially - just not without my permission.

Gingers not NFL material, according to Coach

I was neatly reminded today that gingerism isn't dead, even in the United States.

Proof came in how the biggest question surrounding the drafting of talented freshman quarterback Andy Dalton for the 2011 NFL season hasn't been his speed, strength or endurance on the field - but rather his hair color.

At a recent event in Dalton's home of Fort Worth, a coach was reported to have ignored Dalton's performance record, stats and the fact that the talented kid has had no less than 49 starts at TCU [whatever the hell that means - Editorial Bear] and instead focused on something a little more... subjective:

"Has there ever been a red-headed quarterback in the NFL who's really done well?" the coach quizzed one reporter last week. "Is there any way that could be a factor? We've wondered."

I don't have the stats on ginger quarterbacks to hand, so I can't answer that question. Fortunately, it's not one more informed coaches seem to be asking, anyway.

Despite his red hair, Dalton's been scouted by both the Miami Dolphins and the Dallas Cowboys - and it looks like he'll be starting the 2011 season playing for a pretty high profile team no wonder what his hair color is.

If nothing else, that'll give him the opportunity to answer the boneheaded coach's question.

The next time some ill-informed lug demands: "Has there ever been a red-headed quarterback in the NFL who's really done well?" the correct answer well be: "Well, sure there has! Just look at Andy Dalton!"

Go get 'em, ginger!

Fakers: How many celebrity gingers are secretly blond (or brunette) bombshells?

The New York Times recently declared red hair to be in – partly because so many popular celebrities are rockin’ the ginger look these days.

It’s true – from Mad Men’s smoldering sexpot Christina Hendricks, to Ron Weasley and his ginger brethren in the latest Harry Potter, red hair has never been hipper and more in the public eye.

Which is why it pains me to do this – out the fakers.

Because it has recently come to Militant Ginger’s attention that some of this generation's most iconic redheads are, in fact, frauds. They’re about as ginger as Geri Halliwell (the former Ginger Spice – who was straight out of a bottle.)

The Bernie Madoff of this scarlet-haired scandal? None other than Mad Men star Christina Hendricks herself. The curvaceous star recently admitted that she’s a natural blond, and has been dying her hair that signature scarlet since she was just 10-years old!

“There was something that spoke to me about that color,” she confessed to LA Times,” So my Mum said, “Let’s just dye it.” My hair was very blond at the time, but it went to carrot red – and I was over the moon! I went to school the next day and just felt like myself.”

Although obviously gutted, I’ll acquit Hendricks because she’s truly taken being redheaded to heart, and stayed loyal to the hair color for almost twenty years.

Next on my hit list are James and Oliver Phelps, who play ginger mischief-makers Fred and George Weasley in the Harry Potter saga. The whole Weasley clan are celebrated gingers; but it turns out that the twins who play Fred and George are actually fakers.

Fred and George Weasley - not really ginger

“The twins are both natural brunettes,” Kris Bigalk revealed on BellaOnline, “and dye their hair a "ginger" color for the Harry Potter films. Both have expressed a preference for their natural hair color, but must wait for studio clearance to dye it back to its original shade.”

C’mon! Are you telling me there weren’t real ginger twins available to play the Weasley brothers? For shame, Warner Brothers!

The gorgeous Amy Adams has always been one of my favorite redheads – she looked stunning in Talledega Nights and was cute and bubbly in Enchanted.

However, she’s not a natural redhead either! Amy is really a natural blond! But like Christina Hendricks, I’m almost willing to let her go on this one.

In an interview with People, she admitted it:

“I was a terrible blonde. When I dyed my hair true red for the first time, I felt as if it was what nature intended. I’ve always been a bit of a spitfire, so I absolutely live up to the stereotype about redheaded women.”

If she hadn't have come clean, I'd have never known. She's an utterly convincing (and utterly gorgeous) ginger.

The final fraud isn’t an A-lister any more, but back in the mid-nineties, she was the iconic redhead of her generation. When X-Files was rocking our TV screens for the first time, the gorgeous Gillian Anderson was the highest profile redhead on both sides of the Atlantic.

Gillian Anderson - out of this world as the redhead FBI agent Dana Scully

But Dan Scully, it turns out, had a secret almost as dark as the alien/hybrid/conspiracy thing at the heart of the unintelligible plot of the X-Files saga.

[That’s a bit hyperbolic, wouldn’t you admit? Editorial Bear]

She’d never been ginger to begin with – it was all out of a bottle! Several bottles, as it happens. If you want to see a season-by-season time line of her hair evolution (I kid you not) visit this article on Hair Boutique.

But while we’re out exposing fake redheads, it would be remiss not to tackle an equally scandalous situation: Britain’s closeted gingers. Yes, there are stars out there who are natural redheads, but will do anything to keep that truth hidden.

Can you blame them? I’m a prime example that it ain’t easy growing up in Britain with red hair. But ultimately, I say redhead celebrities have a duty to be loud and proud about their ‘ginger roots’ and stop pretending to be something they’re not.

A case in point? Comedy sensation Simon Pegg – the genius behind Shaun of the Dead and Spaced. Despite his clearly ginger beard and scruff, the cheeky rogue recently told More! magazine: “I'm not actually a redhead! When we did Shaun of the Dead I dyed my hair before filming and it kind of went red.”

Bold-faced lies! Countless red-carpet shots and publicity stills how Pegg rockin’ the ginger look, (or, at least, unsuccessfully covering it up with trop de peroxide.) Why can’t he just admit what he is and give countless kids growing in ginger-hating Britain an icon they can look up to?

I hate to get all Perez Hilton and ‘out’ unwilling redheads, but this is a duty that needs to be done. No more lies, Mr Pegg! Militant Ginger loves your work, but I wag a stern finger at your continued ginger denial. Own it, fellow redhead!

After all, if Christina Hendricks, the Phelps Twins and Amy Adams have shown us anything, it’s that being ginger is hip, hot and here to stay. They weren't ginger, and they wanted to be. What's your issue?

When I was growing up, I got constant abuse for having red hair. Now it looks like everybody in the world wants to join the clan instead - and if the likes of Hendricks and Adams are amongst them, I’m more than happy to extend an open invitation!

Bullying and Bigotry: Ginger Edition

One of the biggest stories in the news at the moment is a local one - concerning a Rutgers University student who committed suicide after being inadvertently 'outed' by his college roommate and having his intimate encounter with another man 'live broadcast' over the Internet.

The victim, Tyler Clementi*

It's a horrible story - and the outraged LGBT community has been quick to point out that it brings the total of gay or lesbian kids 'bullied' into killing themselves recently up to five; just weeks into the school year.

It highlights, they argue, a culture of homophobia and intolerance endemic in schools and colleges - one that must be combated by all means necessary.

I completely support them in this mission - but while we're at it, I'd like to use the case to raise awareness of an appallingly similar situation back home in Britain.

Nationally, we Brits tend to be a lot less intolerant of gays and lesbians, but we'd be giving ourselves a totally undeserved pat on the back if we thought that meant we're more 'tolerant' overall. (For 'totally undeserved pats on the back', feel free to start reading The Spectator.)

While Americans are raising awareness of LGBT students who killed themselves following abuse, could we Brits also raise awareness of poor 15-year old Adam Bailey - victim of intense bullying for having red hair - who ultimately hung himself?

Could we Brits start clamoring for justice for 19-year-old Andrew Vickers who committed suicide, after years of being bullied for having red hair?

In fact, I'd love the British versions of celebrities like Ellen Degeneres and Lady Gaga go on television and demand an end to the sort of institutionalised discrimination that drove 11-year-old Kevin Chapmen to consider suicide, after being beaten in the streets and having anti-ginger slogans daubed on the walls of his home.

Instead, I've listened to British friends of mine dismiss once again my complaint that redheads in Britain suffer any form of discrimination - at all.

"I'm just being oversensitive," they tell me. "You have a chip on your shoulder," others complain. "Get a sense of humor!"

Maybe I don't feel like laughing; largely because I didn't have far to go to find those examples of redheads committing suicide in the UK. They died because they suffered a version of that same systematic, institutionalized abuse that drove the gay and lesbian students in America to kill themselves.

I'm not saying it's as bad - but I am saying it was bad enough to drive them to the same end.

The big difference between the suicides in the UK and USA, aside from the reason why the students were getting bullied in the first place, is that the American LGBT community (and moral people in general) are outraged by what's been allowed to happen - and are working together to stamp out intolerance in the classroom, dormitory and beyond.

Meanwhile, in Britain, the majority of people continue to deny there's even a problem in the first place - let alone do anything to solve it.

Another reason why Militant Ginger is proud to be ensconced stateside



* Who, coincidentally, appears to have red hair.

Ginger Solidarity

This weekend I rediscovered the awesome blog Forever Amber, written by one of the most photogenic bloggers of all time (and a proud, totally unapologetic British redhead.)

She can also levitate, apparently.

She's written a few posts about the stigma of being ginger in the UK that are worth reading:

• Idiot of the Week: "Gingers smell like tuna"
• The Ginger Strikes Back
• HAHA! Ginger baby!
• Because I have to compensate for my red hair somehow...
  

I thought I'd give her brilliant blog a shout-out because I've had quite a ginger weekend.

Not only did I hear about this lovely story - a 12-year-old English girl bullied so much for having red hair that she was forced to dye it - Mummy Militant's American friends also rather incredulously watched our DVD of 'F**k Off, I'm Ginger' and seeing it again was a rather sharp little reminder of how stupid England is (and also how chubby I was when I filmed it!)

Anyway. If you're feeling any ginger solidarity today, send me your address and I'll send you one of these fantastic Militant Ginger bumper stickers, courtesy of those great guys at Build-A-Sign.

Until then, make sure you go and check out Forever Amber's brilliant blog.

Militant Gingers of the World Unite!

The great folks at Build A Sign have teamed up with Militant Ginger; donating some awesome Militant Ginger bumper stickers for loud, proud and totally awesome redheads to bear with pride.


We here at MG - Militant Ginger, Mini Militant, Kitty Copy Editor and Editorial Bear - would be really chuffed if redheads out there would be willing to slap these stickers on their own cars and bear their ginger bouffant with pride.

Getting one is easy - just email me your mailing address and I'll send one out. All I ask in return is that you send us a picture of your sticker proudly in place (and don't worry, we'll blank out your license plate.)

Seriously - we gingers have been the butt of jokes for decades now. Take ownership today, and turn what ignorant people would use as an insult into a mark of pride. Become a Militant Ginger today!

To commemorate Build A Sign's generous donation, I'm going to be returning to my (ginger) roots and running a week's worth of blogs about red hair and gingerism. In the mean time, here are some previous posts about red hair and what it means to be ginger, in England and elsewhere.

• Being Ginger - "Ginger haired people are the only minority you can still legitimately harass. No civilised person would hassle a black guy just because of the colour of his skin. But those same people, so desperate not to be accused of being 'racist,' would spill my pint in a pub and call me "copper knob.""
• Prejudice against Gingers - "I must commend the Daily Echo for actually standing up and saying what a generation have been too afraid to - that racism against ginger people (be they scots/irish or nordic) is no better than racism against against anybody else."
• Ginger is the new Black - Catherine Tate in her most famous sketch.
• More Ginger Discrimination from Britain - "Tesco has been blasted for selling a Christmas card which pokes fun at ginger kids. The card has left the mother of three red-headed children fuming after she spotted it while shopping."
• STABBED! For being ginger! - "A 20-year-old man has been stabbed in the back after an argument over his ginger hair."

And from now on, I'm making sure that all the tailgaters in New York know that I'm proud - and unashamed - to have ginger hair.

Don't Wii On Me! Gingerism from Nintendo?

A family member's on vacation - and in addition to looking after his dog for a few days, we've taken temporary ownership of his Wii as well.

Despite being a big kid at heart, I've managed to avoid getting a gaming console since coming to America - and if you want to know how I occupied my time without one, the fact that I have a baby should answer that question!

However, despite finding other ways to occupy my time, I'd always secretly fancied a Wii. It's the only gaming console that uses kinetic controllers - as in, you wave and waggle them about to control your on-screen avatar. So much more fun than sore thumbs!

Finally, club your family members in the face with a plastic controller - all in the comfort of your own home!

So yesterday, I finally got to try the Wii out for myself - and it's AWESOME.

I played Wii Sports - where you use the controllers to play on-screen sports like tennis and baseball. The tennis game is great. Waving your controller gives you surprisingly deft control of your character's backhand and it's alarmingly addictive to play!

Without exaggeration, this You Tube clip probably sold more Wii units than any amount of Nintendo advertising!

But one thing angered - nay infuriated - me.

When you play on the Wii, you play as 'Mii' - a little onscreen character you can design to look just like you (if you were related to a Weeble.)

Creating the Militant Ginger 'Mii' - although something's not quite right...

You can pick your character's height, width, skin-tone and facial features and even pick their hair style...

...unless you're ginger.

Notably NOT ginger!

Yep, using the on-screen options available your 'Mii' could resemble pretty much any demographic. African, Asian, Indian or Aryan. But there was a conspicuous lack of 'ginger' in the hair options.

Even Rob Zombie has a 'Mii.' But of course, he's just a talented, sociopathic filmmaker - not ginger!

You could go for 'brown' or you could go for a sandy 'yellow' but there was nothing in the middle. My 'Mii' looked nothing like 'me' because his hair color was resolutely not-red.

Hair color options - NONE OF THEM GINGER! Not even a LITTLE BIT!

I'm horrified! Disgusted! Appalled and enraged! Nintendo, what kind of gratuitous gingerism is this? Shame on you!

I am forthwith writing to Nintendo USA to demand something be done about this. As a so-called Militant Ginger, I can't let this slight pass unpunished!

An Open Letter to Nintendo, USA

Nintendo of America, Inc.
Redmond, WA

Dear Sir, Madam,

Recently, I was fortunate enough to finally get to play Wii – and I absolutely loved it.

For years I’d been looking for a way to suck at tennis, bowling and golf in the comfort of my own home and now, thanks to Wii Sports, I can finally do that.

But despite my initial enthusiasm for waving my arms around in my living room - knocking furniture over, scaring the dog and making my 14-month-old son stare at me like I was a lunatic – I have encountered a very serious and offensive oversight built-in to the very fabric of the Wii.

Enthused by my first experiences with Wii, I attempted to use your ‘Mii’ editor to create an avatar who looked like me. Although I was able to approximate my imposing height, athletic build and rugged, yet sensitive good looks, when it came to mimicking my striking red hair the Mii editor completely failed me!

There was no ‘red’ option available in the hair color box! Just a choice between some crappy chocolate brown and a muddy yellow color that’s suspiciously similar to the paint-job on my ’89 Lincoln Town Car. Neither one does the job. I’m a proud redhead – in possession of flaming ginger hair that’s as unequivocally orange as Paris Hilton’s fake tan.

I find this oversight disgusting and racist!

Mii conspicuously makes almost any possible variation of skin-tone and facial feature available to users – meaning anybody from an albino to an African-American can perfectly reproduce their Mii-likeness on Nintendo. Almost anybody, I should say – because we redheads are insultingly excluded from this so-called ‘all-inclusive’ editor!

What if you’d left out options for Asian people to make realistic-looking Miis?

Okay, that’s a really bad example, since Nintendo is Japanese, but you get my point!

My red hair is a result of my proud Anglo-Scots heritage. My ancestors – and their Scandinavian forebears – proudly roamed the northern seas raping and pillaging in order to perpetuate our proud ginger race (and possibly make up for some deep seated insecurity issues – I’m still researching that.)

Between 2% and 6% of Americans are redheaded, so it’s disgusting that Nintendo would so purposefully exclude us from creating our own Mii likenesses to enjoy your games with.

Frankly, the pleasure of sucking at Wii Tennis, or being completely crap at Wii bowling, or even the delight I take in remaining resolutely hopeless at Wii Golf, is diluted by the fact that whatever Mii I choose to represent me onscreen is a pale (well, paler) imitation of my glorious ginger self.

I am affronted, antagonized, bitter, chafed, choleric, convulsed and all sorts of other words I found on www.thesaurus.com.

I demand satisfaction!

Therefore, it is essential that you amend the Mii editor immediately to include an option for red hair. If you fail to do that (or fail to buy me off with, perhaps, a free Wii, wink wink) I will not rest until your offensive oversight and callous attitude is publicized across the nation!

Redheads of the world unite! (Bring sunscreen)

Roland Hulme, a.k.a. Militant Ginger

www.militantginger.com