Sarah Palin photos...

Ever since rather yummy Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin hit the headlines, the Internet's been abuzz with rumours of photos of her in a bikini.

Which is one of the most retarded concepts in Internet history.

Sure, we'd all love to see Sarah Palin in a bikini, since she's a rather attractive lady who fought off the baby bulge by hiking, hunting and shooting moose.

But does a photo of her clad in a two piece actually exisit?

Well, she lives in Alaska, which is, by all accounts, not exactly bikini territory. Weather reports vary from 'a bit chilly' to 'so cold the sun hasn't come out in three months.'

So, if Sarah Palin HAD been snapped in a bikini in the Alaskan backwoods, she'd have to be the biggest badass in Republican history!

Sorry. I can't deliver a picture of Sarah Palin in a bikini. Nor can I deliver pictures of Sarah Palin naked (apparently another popular search.) What I can provide is a picture of her from college, back in the eighties, wearing a cute t-shirt that proudly proclaims:

"I may be broke - but I'm not flat chested!"

Even at an early age, she realised she had two attributes that would get her far in politics!

[Was this entire post a cynical attempt to gain traffic by exploiting people's Internet searchs? - Editorial Bear.]

Lady Godiva - Your Legend Lives On...

This article was originally posted at Renaissance Babes.

According to legend, Lady Godiva was a beautiful Saxon noblewoman who lived with her husband, Leofric, Earl of Mercia, in the English town of Coventry.

Lady Godiva was as kind and wise as her husband was cruel and bullish - and when she witnessed the people of Coventry suffering under her husband's oppressive taxation, she demanded he remit the tolls and give some relief to them. Leofric refused.

But Lady Godiva was a thoroughly modern Medieval woman and used the most powerful tool available in her feminine arsenal to entreat her stubborn husband. She nagged him.

She nagged him and nagged him and nagged him until the frustrated Leofric gave his obstinate wife an ultimatum. He would never lift the oppressive taxes - at least, not until the beautiful Godiva stripped naked and rode through the town for all and sundry to see.

But Leofric had underestimated his missus. She took him at his word.The beautiful Saxon maiden threw off her robes, ordered Leofric's bravest two knights to attend her and then rode naked through the streets of the town, with the stunned, but cheering townsfolk assembled to watch.

A humbled and penitent Leofric, humiliated at his wife's stubborn display, dutifully lifted the oppressive taxes and thus elevated the heroic Godiva to the ranks of the world's most legendary nudists.

The story ended well for Godiva - but almost a thousand years after the Saxon beauty's legendary naked hack through the streets earned her a place in history, another beautiful woman is facing stern consequences for following her example.

Peruvian model and dancer Leysi Suarez, in order to celebrate the 187th anniversary of Peru's independence from Spain, rode naked astride a beautiful brown horse wearing nothing but a look of stern patriotic pride - and using the Peruvian flag as a saddle.

But instead of acclaim and adulation, Leysi is facing political uproar and possibly even criminal charges.

Defense Minister Antero Flores angrily roared: "These are patriotic symbols that demand total respect, and using them improperly requires punishment!"

He has threatened the Peruvian beauty with up to four years in jail for modelling on the provocative cover of DFarandula magazine.

"I haven't committed a crime!" Leysi protested. "I love Peru and show it with my body and soul!"
We can only hope that the people of Peru shoulder behind their blushing benefactor in the same way the people of Coventry supported the Lady Godiva. Pride and patriotism are important things and if they can't be expressed in provocative pictures, what kind of world are we living in?
Leysi Surarez? We entirely support you. And Lady Godiva? Rest assured that your legend lives on.

Ask Miltant Ginger

It's been a while since the last edition of Ask Militant Ginger.

As always, I'll be answering some of the genuine questions entered into search engines that have directed surfers to my blog.

What is the difference between nurofen and ibuprofen?

About £2.66 at last count. And that's it. As I explained in this post, Nurofen is nothing more than normal, over-the-counter ibuprofen in a fancy box. Both regular ibuprofen and Nurofen contain the same active ingredient - 200mg of ibuprofen. The only difference is that Nurofen consumers are paying eight times more for the pretty packaging and clever television commercials.

What does Quantum of Solace mean?

As I explained in this post, the Quantum of Solace is a reference to a short story written by Ian Fleming and first published in his anthology For Your Eyes Only.

The Quantum of Solace is the almost immeasurable spark of love and compassion one person has for another. They say that the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference. If that quantum of solace is extinguished, the relationship is over.

James Bond himself, British actor Daniel Craig, perhaps explains it better than I can: "Ian Fleming says that if you don't have a quantum of solace in your relationship then the relationship is over. It's that spark of niceness in a relationship that if you don't have you might as well give up."

Quantum of Solace is also the name of the upcoming James Bond movie, set for release this November.



I have problems receiving a signal with Stiletto 2. What do I do?

The SIRIUS Stiletto 2 is a hand-held satellite radio and personal MP3 player. In order to receive live satellite radio, the Stiletto 2 needs to either be outside, with a clear and unobstructed view of the sky above, or within range of terrestrial 'repeaters' which SIRIUS has set up in major cities, transmitting the SIRIUS signal in much the same way radio stations and cell phones work.

The Stiletto 2 is pretty nifty, though. Even if you don't have a clear satellite signal, you can use any accessible WiFi network (like a hot spot in an Internet cafe or Starbucks) to tune in and receive SIRIUS Internet Radio. Just select Internet Radio from the menu and follow the instructions.

Why do most religious people dislike gays?

There are many splinters in the Christian church, from Catholic to Anglican, Baptist to Methodist and a hundred other worthless protestant permutations in between. This generally proves one thing: That most Christians don't generally agree on much.

What some Christians can agree on, however, is who to hate. It started off the the Muslims (crusades, anybody?) then moved on the black people (their dark skin was the 'mark of Cain') and most recently, 'scripture' has given legitimacy to open discrimination and hate speech targeted towards homosexuals.

Never mind that the average gay person wants nothing more than the same rights as everybody else. Because of a narrow minded and completely false interpretation of sections of the modern Bible, some Christians today choose to 'hate 'em gays.'

The scriptural arguments supporting this bigotry hold no weight whatsoever. You can read about this here. Really, the only reason religious people openly hate gays is because a thin veneer of religious respectability allows them to, while regular folks would be indicted with hate speech for saying the same things.

Is Minnie Driver a ginger?

From watching the BBC drama series Mr Wroe's Virgins, in which she appeared naked (and clearly without access to a feminine razor) I would say most definitely not.

Well, that's the end of Ask Militant Ginger for this month. Remember, if your search-engine questions drag you here, I'll get around to answering them eventually!

A Silly Poem...

Brilliant artist and cartoonist Erica Henderson, who I wrote about here and who Pigletized me here, has a wonderful blog which features her daily scribbles.

(Although her daily scribbles look like most people's ridiculously involved, long and drawn-out graphic projects. This is because Erica is digustingly talented.)

Anywhoo. Erica very much enjoys drawing girlies - good, old fashioned girlies with rumps and thighs and slightly bemused expressions... Bemused, I presume, because they're rarely wearing pants!

Pants. Panties. Knickers. Trousers. Skirts. Shorts. Dresses. In Erica's world, her nubile heroines are always finding themselves cruelly robbed of clothing!

Because I am slightly crazy, this has always led me to ponder WHY. What on earth happened to these girl's trousers? So when Erica posted the beautiful illustration above, it inspired me to write a little ditty pondering that very question.

Please, don't be too critical. My metrical rhythm got upset in a couple of these verses, but when you're dealing with lines that are up to ten syllables long (about a girl who's lost her knickers, no less) it's kind of difficult to keep up.

Wherefore art thou, pants?
by Roland Hulme

Beautiful girl, curvaceous rump,
With golden hair and lips so plump,
You make me wonder every day,
What caused your pants to go away?

While your hoodie is quite chic,
All of us can clearly peek,
Beneath your top’s immodest hem,
And what we see is quite… ahem.

What did happen to your pants?
Were they carried off by ants?
You loose them in a game of chance?
Or did they slip right off mid-prance?

Not that your bottom isn’t swell,
It just makes me kind of… well…
Let’s just say, it’s quite a sight,
Booty haunts my dreams at night!

And through you’re sexy, saucy, cute,
Please tell me why, my nuded beaut,
You’re left with rump exposed this way,
Who came and took your pants away?

I’ll find them, dear, I swear I will,
Or get you new ones from Goodwill.
A pair of knickers I shall claim!
To help you cover up your shame…