A Silly Poem...

Brilliant artist and cartoonist Erica Henderson, who I wrote about here and who Pigletized me here, has a wonderful blog which features her daily scribbles.

(Although her daily scribbles look like most people's ridiculously involved, long and drawn-out graphic projects. This is because Erica is digustingly talented.)

Anywhoo. Erica very much enjoys drawing girlies - good, old fashioned girlies with rumps and thighs and slightly bemused expressions... Bemused, I presume, because they're rarely wearing pants!

Pants. Panties. Knickers. Trousers. Skirts. Shorts. Dresses. In Erica's world, her nubile heroines are always finding themselves cruelly robbed of clothing!

Because I am slightly crazy, this has always led me to ponder WHY. What on earth happened to these girl's trousers? So when Erica posted the beautiful illustration above, it inspired me to write a little ditty pondering that very question.

Please, don't be too critical. My metrical rhythm got upset in a couple of these verses, but when you're dealing with lines that are up to ten syllables long (about a girl who's lost her knickers, no less) it's kind of difficult to keep up.

Wherefore art thou, pants?
by Roland Hulme

Beautiful girl, curvaceous rump,
With golden hair and lips so plump,
You make me wonder every day,
What caused your pants to go away?

While your hoodie is quite chic,
All of us can clearly peek,
Beneath your top’s immodest hem,
And what we see is quite… ahem.

What did happen to your pants?
Were they carried off by ants?
You loose them in a game of chance?
Or did they slip right off mid-prance?

Not that your bottom isn’t swell,
It just makes me kind of… well…
Let’s just say, it’s quite a sight,
Booty haunts my dreams at night!

And through you’re sexy, saucy, cute,
Please tell me why, my nuded beaut,
You’re left with rump exposed this way,
Who came and took your pants away?

I’ll find them, dear, I swear I will,
Or get you new ones from Goodwill.
A pair of knickers I shall claim!
To help you cover up your shame…