I am America! (and So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert

I've already mentioned just what a sublime comedy genius Stephen Colbert is. His nightly show is a ripping attack on right-wing political pundits and the increasing gap between 'Truth' and 'Fact' in the modern media.

So I have to admit, I was looking forward to reading his book, I Am America (and So Can You!) ever since it was released (cannily coinciding with his abortive run for the presidency in South Carolina.)

However, the book actually turned out to be every bit as flippant and inconsequential as the character Stephen portrays. I actually felt like the joke was on me once I'd finished reading it.

Which, in itself, is kind of the punchline. Having spent three days reading his whirlwind diatribe of opinion and ignorance, I was left feeling both cheated and validated at the same time. And I should have known better...

After all, Colbert proudly announced that he hadn't 'written' his book - he'd 'shouted it into a tape recorder over the Columbus Day weekend.'

It was meant to be written in the style of a narcissistic political pundit who churns out books without giving much more than scant attention to what's in them. And the twist in this satirical tale? That's exactly how the book was written!

In the 240 pages of I Am America, Stephen Colbert coolly waxes lyrical about politics, religion, education, history, sports and race relations - all in the slick, polished character he appears as every night on Comedy Central.

He perfectly apes the self-important, fact-free rants of right wing political conservatives who believe 'gut feeling' has more veracity than evidence or fact. However, in doing so, it all gets very tiresome very quickly.

Because Colbert's book is basically a one-trick pony. It's funny, I'll grant you. It provides consistent smug chuckles throughout. However, if I'm going to spend three days reading somebody's dumb political ideas, I'd rather read a real person's dumb political ideas, rather than read what a brilliant comedian scathingly imagines somebody's dumb political ideas to be.

In the end, I still think I Am America (and So Can You!) is something I'm very proud of to have in my bookcase - but owning this book isn't so much about reading it as making a political statement by buying it (and my copy was a gift from my sister.)

It's exactly like one of those Oprah-endorsed best-sellers that people buy so they can leave it on their coffee table as a statement of their values and beliefs.

Which, if they're brutally honest, is pretty much the point of it.

HOWEVER...

After reading Stephen Colbert's entirely inconsequential book, I got to the end and discovered a 'page filler' which suddenly validated the entire purchase.

It was a transcription of Colbert's stunning 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner speech, which he'd given in front of President Bush and the entire White House staff.

A copy of this speech alone is more than worth the price of the book.

In having the chutzpah to stand on a podium in front of the leader of the greatest nation on earth - and horribly insult him - makes Stephen Colbert one of the bravest comedians of his generation - and also demonstrates that's he's possibly as arrogant as the character he portrays on TV.

It's a scathing speech - and whether you agree with it or not, it's difficult not to admire the depth of comedy genius behind it. You may think it an appropriate criticism of the press and the 43rd President - or you might agree with Fox & Friends that it went 'over the line.' Whatever you think, you'll probably agree with Colbert's colleague Jon Stewart, who told the press: "We've never been prouder of him... But holy shit!"

"The greatest thing about this man [President Bush] is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man's beliefs never will."

Colbert Nation

The White House Dinner speech is a whole other reason to buy Colbert's book - but if you do, just remember. You don't have to read it. You've already got the joke.

I Am America (and So Can You!) is available for $26.99 from most good booksellers.

The Election Aftermath

Well, the voters of New Jersey have spoken.

On Election Day 2007 - which I covered here - the people of Middlesex County voted in resounding support of their incumbent mayors, with only South River's Robert Szegeti getting booted off in favour of Republican challenger Raymond Eppinger.

And while this leaves South River with a 'one party' local government (the mayor and five council members are now Republican) the rest of New Jersey remained grudgingly loyal to the Democrats - although how they approached the four 'voters questions' revealed that they want their democratic representatives to rein in the spending and stay fiscally conservative.

North Brunswick's mayor, Francis 'Mac' Womack III was welcomed back for another term - and good for him. He's done our township proud.

Aside from choosing our representatives, however, voters of New Jersey were asked to vote on four specific 'questions' that effected our great state.

The first was:

1: Should New Jersey permanently dedicate a percentage of revenue earned from sales tax towards property tax relief?

New Jersey said no.

Which was the right decision, no doubts about it. While New Jersey has some of the highest property tax in the whole of the United States, it seems entirely illogical to take money out of one tax pool to alleviate the sting of the other. If New Jersey has such an enormous surplus in their sales tax revenue, perhaps they ought to lower the tax rate?

Or, alternatively, they should use that revenue stream to pay for whatever it is that keeps the property taxes so high?

Although it is more complicated than that. Sales tax is raised on a state level, while property taxes are raised by the townships where people live. It's easy to forget that government in America is a multi-tiered structure and the different tiers have responsibility paying for different things.

But accepting that makes the proposed property tax relief even more illogical. If property taxes pay for schooling, rubbish collection and local police and fire services - things only a particular township benefit from - why should the entire state of New Jersey bail out particular townships via the sales tax?

Because rerouting sales tax revenue to offer property tax relief essentially leaves everybody in New Jersey - renters and property owners alike - bailing out the home owners. Which simply isn't fair.

2: Should New Jersey approve borrowing $450 million for stem cell research?

Again, the answer was a resounding no.

On the surface, I think that's a very good thing. Borrowing such an astonishing amount of money to pump into an uncertain science doesn't make good financial sense. The people of New Jersey pay their taxes to receive the benefit of public services - not to invest in ill-considered business adventures.

My suspicion is, however, that many people voted 'no' simply because of the scary concept of stem cell research. There has been a pretty good disinformation campaign about this fledgling science that has people scared of human cloning and other people worried about the thought of human embryos being used in research.

To reject this proposal because it made poor financial sense is a good thing. To reject it because of ignorance and fear is bad. Stem cell research can be conducted ethically and might offer the chance to repair nerve damage and diseases that are currently untreatable.

It could herald a new era in science and medicine. We shouldn't reject it simply because we want to remain in the blissfully ignorant dark ages.

3: Should New Jersey approve borrowing $200 million for open space preservation?

New Jersey voted yes.

Which is a great victory. A victory because the borrowed $200 million can be invested in keeping the 'Garden State' living up to it's name. Forests, grassland, farmland and plains can be preserved and protected from aggressive redevelopment, meaning a new generation of New Jersey children will grow up being able to enjoy the beautiful countryside.

In America, there are currently 1 million unsold new homes, suggesting that the drive to build, build and build is not a wise one. There are strip-malls and shopping centres enough in New Jersey. While I'm all for supporting free enterprise and market forces, I think New Jersey needs a hundred acres of woodland far more than it needs another K-Mart.

By voting 'yes,' the people of New Jersey created a market force of their own - and proved that preserving the countryside was something they were willing to invest their tax dollars in.

4: Should we revise language outlining when voting rights can be denied by deleting from the state Constitution the phrase "idiot or insane person" and replacing it with the phrase "person who has been adjudicated by a court of competent jurisdiction to lack the capacity to understand the act of voting."

This was another resounding yes - and requires very little explanation.

The Next Step

Back when I was studying politics at Plymouth College of Further Education, we were taught that local elections can mean a lot of different things. Sometimes they can even predict the direction national politics will take.

If that's the case, I think New Jersey has spoken.

Support for the Democrats seems strong, suggesting that NJ will lean towards a Democratic candidate in 2008's presidential elections. However, this support is tempered by a growing demand for fiscal responsibility - and any hopeful candidates should accept and embrace that.

I think this might well prove to be a national trend. With America balanced on the knife-edge of recession, the important election issues are a lot closer to home than people suspect. Jobs. Taxes. Inflation. The Economy.

My father figures the 2008 elections will follow the 1992 ones, with the major campaign issue being 'the economy, stupid.'

It was that mantra, hung outside Bill Clinton's campaign headquarters in Little Rock, Arkansas, that helped lure voters away from the seemingly unbeatable President Bush Snr.

Bush Snr. had seen the end of the cold war and the successful Desert Storm through - but left America in the depths of a recession. James Carville, the campaign strategist for Bill Clinton, coined the phrase 'it's the economy, stupid' to make Americans consider domestic financial issues as well as foreign policy ones.

It was enough to topple Bush Snr, whose approval ratings had been at 80% just the year before.

Now history threatens to repeat itself! With a Bush in the White House and a Clinton standing at the gates. Except this time, the departing Bush Jnr has an approval rating barely half that of his father.

If the local elections in New Jersey have taught us anything, it's that the winning presidential candidate will need to have some sensible spending ideas that will send the American economy trundling out of the doldrums.

New York Renaissance Faire 2007

This weekend, we visited the amazing New York Renaissance Faire - an enormous exhibition celebrating the good 'olde' days.

Located in Sterling Forest, just outside Tuxedo in upstate New York, the whole event sounded like a lot of fun. In order to attend, however, it was necessary to dress the part. Nothing makes you stick out more than sneakers and a t-shirt!

For me, that meant another chance to wear the kilt (and I watched Highlander the night before to get in the mood.) Tina and our friends went for more fashionable attire. You can see below what this season's Well Dressed Wench is wearing...

The faire itself takes place in a custom built arena deep in the rolling oak forests of upstate New York. There's an entire village there, which the participants call "the shire." It comes complete with pubs, restaurants, shops and a jousting arena, plus handy street signs and road names (the 'privies' are located on Spend Penny Lane) to prevent anybody getting lost.

The first thing you notice about the faire is how enthusiastic the participants are. There is a permanent cast wandering about, featuring Queen Elizabeth I, Robin Hood and his Merry Men and various Squires, Serfs and wenches.

.

However, the people attending the fair tend to be fully costumed and in character too. British accents abound (of varying degrees of quality) and some truly outstanding costumes make it difficult to tell the difference between the enthusiastic visitors and the people who work there.

The historical period in which the fair is set is very loose. Although the period is supposed to be vaguely Elizabethan (hence Her Majesty wandering about) you will see Vikings and Highlanders brushing shoulders with pirates and even Robin Hood and his Merry Men.

.

The emphasis is on having fun and getting into character, rather than keeping everything historically accurate. As one person described it to me: This is medieval period how it was meant to be - with no bigotry, racism or open sewers.

.

Bearing that in mind Tina and I went off to explore.

Annie met her heartthrob, the dashing Captain Jack Sparrow.

Tina decided to try her hand at a bit of archery.

I went hunting for the Loch Ness Monster!

Tina then got friendly with a local pirate. Very friendly!

A Viking and I discussed the dire state of the long boat industry.

Tina visited a local pub, where she was introduced to the way medieval people apparently drank mead. I'm not quite sure I entirely believed that one. The mead was delicious, though.

Throughout the day, events and theatre kept us entertained. One of the most dramatic shows was the jousting, which was thrilling stuff even if it came across as a bit choreographed (which is presumably the only way you can do it safely.)

.

You could even buy pennants to support your favourite knight, with the proceeds going to the upkeep of the horses.

.

Unfortunately, my favourite, named after the fictional Ulric Von Lichtenstein from the movie A Knight's Tale, fared very poorly.

.

Two of the other riders were inexplicably named Francis 'Ducky' Drake and Sir Walter Raleigh, after two of England's greatest naval heroes (who presumably weren't great jousters.)

Although it wasn't on the same epic scale as the jousting, one of the highlights of the faire was a short play called The Perfect Scoundrels, which was performed enthusiastically by two actors with highly convincing British accents (even by my standards.)

.

It appealed to me because it was very much in the mould of a British pantomime, right down to trainee thief Thomas actually turning out to be a girl disguised as a boy.

.

There were cracking one liners aimed at the adult audience (at one point, Tom accuses his mentor of having 'fingers stickier than Lady Godiva's saddle.') There was audience participation for the kids (when one of the Scoundrels barks out: "If it's not nailed down?" the audience responds in chorus: "It's free!") Plus, most importantly, there was loads of thrilling sword fighting, beautifully choreographed and lots of fun to watch.

After enjoying the action for a while, Tina and I decided to be part of it ourselves again, so we continued to explore.

Tina tried out as a mature student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

I asked the important question: Does this club make my bum look big?

I took time out to appreciate the Fair's plentiful supply of delicious beer - which normally results in where all four of us ended our day.

In the pillory!

I had enormous fun. Really, it was probably the best day I've had since coming back to America.

.

Because everybody - guest, employee and vendor - got into the spirit of the faire, it made it a far more interesting experience than a sanitized Disney theme park or stale museum.

.

Renaissance really seems to be a lifestyle, into which people immerse themselves entirely. Creating a medieval persona. Buying the costume. Learning the skills and perfecting the accent. It's a wonderful, liberating thing.

.

Having encountered Asian knights and African American Highlanders at the faire, I realise now that Renaissance creates a micro society that seems to recognize no boundaries of age or race.

.

You don't have to be who you are. You can be who you want to be. And the more you believe in the noble (or dastardly) persona you create, the more rewarding the whole thing is.

.

Notes

.

The New York Renaissance Faire continues every weekend and US Labor Day until the 23rd September. It's located in Sterling Forest, Tuxedo NY and is very easy to find. Admission is $20 and costumes can be rented for the occasion (because if you wear capris and a tank top you'll just look dumb.)

.

The Perfect Scoundrels was written by Katherine Harte and Nathan DeCoux and performed by Nathan Decoux and Emily Rouch. Presumably they're not available for Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs, so don't ask. They carry swords.

.

Out of the myriad traders at the faire, the ones that really grabbed our attention were:

.

Knightly Endeavors - http://www.knightly.com/

Earthtone Instruments - http://www.earthtoneinstruments.com/

Black Prince Armory - http://www.blackprincearmory.net/

Sphere Play - http://www.tryouttoys.com/

Hollow Earth Swordworks - http://www.hollowearthswordworks.com/

Madd Hatter - http://www.maddhatterhats.com/

Medieval Metal - http://www.hairtwisters.com/

Foolonastick - http://www.jakes-toys.com/

Highland Secrets of Suzanne - http://www.highlandsecrets.com/

Cloud McCleod - http://www.rareearthflutes.com/

Heart's Delight - http://www.heartsdelightclothiers.com/

.

There were many, many more (like the wonderful Crow's Nest, where we met the pirate Tina is dallying with above) but many didn't have websites.

.

After all, this is the middle ages!