Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1

When it comes to the religion of Harry Potter, I'm hardly very pious. Although I dutifully brought The Deathly Hallows novel when it was released in 2007, I will admit that The Deathly Hallows, Part 1 was the first of the movie saga that I didn't bother going to the cinema to see when it came out.

And last night, I caught Harry on DVD for the first time and realized that I'd made the right decision.

While some of the Harry Potter movies are barnstormers (Prisoner of Azkhaban and Goblet of Fire being the best) the final movies seem to have stumbled more into Twilight territory. They're dripping with teenage angst and increasingly dark and gloomy.

In fact, The Deathly Hallows, Part 1 was so into being dark and gloomy that at least one third of the film was practically unwatchable - the screen turning black for periods of up to 10 seconds at a time, and the sets and actors being so poorly lit you had to squint to see what was going on.

Pair that with a monumentally complex cast of characters and an increasingly difficult to follow plot and you've got a recipe for disappointment. While the book was vividly lucid, I kept finding myself losing the plot (literally) as I followed Ron, Hermione and Harry onscreen.

Why was that sword in the pond? Who's this cockney guy? Why is Daniel Radcliffe wearing a bra?

I understand that the complexity of The Deathly Hallows required it to be cut asunder into two separate films - but most two-part movies (Kill Bill, for example) turn each 'episode' into a self-contained story that can be enjoyed on its own.

That definitely does not describe The Deathly Hallows, Part 1. You'll need a masters degree in Potterology just to understand what's going on the moment the movie opens - and unless you've got a copy of the hardback sitting beside you, are likely to get thoroughly confused as the plot unwinds. Toss in a really unsatisfactory breaking point and anybody who's not a dyed-in-the-wool Harry Potter aficionado will be left scratching their head.

I mean, it's not that it's a bad movie - it's just so absurdly complex that it's impossible to adequately translate it to the screen. I imagine Potter fans will love it - but I was left a little bewildered.

Yet there's hope. I anticipate that the crammed first half of The Deathly Hallows will give the second movie a little narrative breathing room - and result in a much more satisfactory conclusion to the Harry Potter odyssey.

Ask Militant Ginger

It's that time again! Another delve into the keyword questions that drove people to Militant Ginger.

Is Princess Diana more annoying dead than alive?

I don’t know – that’s a tough one to call. I would have to make a judgment call and say yes; because while the poor woman was still alive, at least the incessant media coverage about her was mitigated by the fact that ‘shedidaloddagudworkfurcharidy, mate.’

These days, she’s still rarely off the telly in one form or another (mostly conspiracy shows about her ‘murder’) but no longer contributes to children with AIDs or digging up landmines or anything jolly like that.

So incessant media attention MINUS charitable contributions EQUALS more annoying than ever.

What’s the Bluetooth Headset Captain Jack wears in Torchwood?

Sorry to disappoint you, guys – but Captain Jack’s stylish Bluetooth headset from the mediocre mess that was BBC’s Torchwood was actually a one-of-a-kind prop made from toilet rolls and washing up bottles in the BBC props department.

Ianto, Owen and the others, however, did use a real brand – the Jabra BT250v . You can get your own here.



Why do Christians hate gay people?

Christians technically don’t hate gay people.

Certain people claiming to be Christians (i.e. certain Evangelical groups) hate gay people, but they have as much to do with Christianity as Mormonism does. [Congrats, Militant Ginger. You managed to insult two religious demographics in a single sentence – Editorial Bear]

The truth be told, the official line is that no Christian ‘hates’ gay people. They just believe, rightly or wrongly [Erm, wrongly – Editorial Bear] that homosexuality is unnatural (despite it being practiced by a recorded 1,800 species of animals) and a sin against God.

They don’t hate the sinner, they hate the sin. This distinction does seem to confuse some Christians, hence the problems – but ‘hate’ is not the official line.

Anyway. While God was pretty clear on the matter (read Leviticus) his son, Jesus, was kind of ambivalent – a little like President Obama.

It’s possible to make a pretty convincing case against homosexuality using New Testament scripture (CK whipped me in this debate, so I have to give credit where it’s due) although I believe that Jesus was more about the ‘love your neighbor’ part of his belief system, rather than whether or not being gay was cool.

ибупрофен vs нурофен

I don’t even know what this means – nor do I know why it brought somebody to my blog! But I hope it has something to do with sexy Russian ladies in uniform.

I am so objectifying this lady right now.

Did Stephanie Meyer plagiarize Charlaine Harris?

Charlaine Harris, who wrote the Sookie Stackhouse series of vampire books, is often credited as the inspiration for Twilight. People have even accused Meyer of plagiarizing Harris directly – one commentor on this blog wrote “All you have to do is read Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse series and L.J. Smith's Vampire Diaries and there's the whole storyline in all 4 of the Twilight books. Someone needs to sue this woman because she's just getting credit for what others have done and watering it down into her disgusting version. It's NOT FAIR!”

Personally, I think it’s difficult to accuse Stephanie Meyer of plagiarism, because the whole vampire genre is SO trite and derivative that there hasn’t been an original work of vampire-inspired fiction for decades. In fact, Meyer managed to inject a rare bit of originality into the genre by mixing it with the romantic tribulations of a narcissistic, self-obsessed teenager AND in making the whole series of books a clumsy metaphor for abstinence.

So, good for her.




Why can’t antibiotics cure the common cold?

One of the most annoying things about living in America is how people will rush to the doctors for a prescription of antibiotics as soon as they have the sniffles.

These people are retarded. They’re the idiots breeding antibiotic-resistant bacteria and driving up the cost of medical insurance. They’re too ignorant to research one of the most basic facts of modern medicine: Colds and flu are caused by viruses.

Antibiotics only treat bacteria. Taking antibiotics to cure your cold is utterly useless.

In fact, it’s more likely to make you sick than better, as each time you take antibiotics you perform a neat little holocaust of all the ‘good’ bacteria in your gut and screw up your digestion.

We can’t only hold the deeply stupid people who wolf down the pills responsible, though. Seriously lazy doctors have got into the habit of filling in these idiot’s prescriptions because it takes ten minutes to convince them that antibiotics are a waste of time, and just thirty seconds to give them the prescription they stupidly crave.

Educating the masses and convincing doctors not to pander to hypochondriacs is vitally important - unless we fancy all falling victim to an antibiotic-resistant super-bacteria five years in the future (hey, that's an idea for a book!)

The law, morality and Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

That’s not even a question. That sounds like the title of an undergraduate literature dissertation.

Twilight kind of went like this

Why do pirates wear eye patches?

Most people think pirates wore eye-patches to cover the hole in their skull where an eyeball used to be (remember, kids – cutlass fights are all well and good – right up until somebody loses an eye!)

But actually, patches were an essential accessory for bi-optic buccaneers as well.

On the sun-drenched seas of the Caribbean, an eye-patch was used during ship-to-ship combat. When a pirate descended into the bowels of a ship to loot the booty, he’d step from the sunshine on deck to the murky darkness of the unlit hold. As you’ll know if you’d ever had somebody shine a flashlight into your eyes, that renders you instantly blind – as it takes valuable minutes to build up ‘night vision’ after being in a well-lit environment.

Pirates would wear an eye-patch to force one eye to adjust to low-light conditions, so when they thundered downstairs into the lower decks of a raided galleon, they could lift their ‘patch’ and immediately see clearly in the darkness, without having to wait for their eyesight to adjust (which might lead to an adversary running them through in the mean time.)

It’s a good trick to remember. If you’re ever sneaking about outside, always keep one eye closed, so if the lights come on, or somebody shines a flashlight in your face, your ‘night vision’ won’t immediately vanish, leaving you temporarily blinded as soon as darkness falls again.

Which is better Nurofen or ibuprofen?

They’re both the same thing! Nurofen is an expensive brand-name pill that contains 200mg of ibuprofen – exactly the same dosage as the cheap, generic brand (but three times more expensive.)

Aside from an easy-to-swallow coating, they are exactly the same product – so use your noggin and plump for the generic pill when you get the chance. Anybody who tells you that brand-name pills have a ‘superior blend’ or similar rubbish are just buying into the hype.

Same drug, same thing – the only difference is whether you keep the difference in price, or you ‘donate’ it to a pharmaceutical giant (and believe me, baby, their profit margins make the oil industry look positively pauperish by comparison.)

Smith Cho drinks tequila in Knight Rider?

The delectable Smith Cho was one of the stars of Knight Rider’s aborted relaunch. In fact, as far as I was concerned, she was the star. Cute and funny and a mouthwatering sight in a bikini, she should have kept that show on the air even if Val Kilmer’s smooth-talking Ford Mustang didn’t.

There were other memorable parts of this episode - I just don't remember them

Anyway. In the third episode, Knight of the Iguana, our intrepid crew try to track down a stolen missile and to that end, Smith’s character – Zoe – poses as the hero’s wife and pours a bottle of tequila down him. It’s left ambiguous whether or not they got up to some tequila-fueled mischief later that evening - but I’d be thoroughly disappointed in the new ‘Michael Knight’ if he hadn’t! Girls like Smith Cho don’t come along very often.



Sweet, safe, grown-up pit bulls for sale?

If you’d read this post, you’d probably have realized that I’m not entirely convinced that pit bulls are ever entirely ‘safe.’ All dogs have the capacity to be dangerous - my wife was mauled by a tiny terrier when she was little - but I do believe that pit bulls are inherently more dangerous than most.

They're still beautiful animals, though.

Pit Bull - Bad dog, or just bad publicity?

In ‘Burn Notice’, what was the waist leather bag Fiona wears?



Fiona Glenanne, the former IRA assassin and femme fatale of USA’s Burn Notice, wears a Leather Hip Bag during some of her more dangerous missions and you can get one of your very own here.

New Moon: Or, when puberty attacks...

Oh, God. Occasional Professor Tom was right.

Any full-grown man who makes the decision to watch Twilight sequel New Moon should know this beforehand: You are legally required to surrender your testicles as a result.

For a start, I was the only man in the audience (and Mummy Militant and I were the only people over the age of 17.) That made me feel deeply uncomfortable.

This feeling wasn't helped by the lower half of the auditorium simultaneously hitting puberty at the exact point teen heartthrob Taylor Lautner removed his shirt.

The collective moan of "Whoooo!" was almost drowned out by the sound of sixty pairs of knicker elastic all snapping at one.

Nevertheless, Mummy Militant and I bravely ploughed our way through two hours of vampy melodrama last night and the verdict was ultimately:

Meh.

To give director Chris Weitz the benefit of the doubt, New Moon was a visually stunning film. In fact, if you'd have ditched moping vampire Edward entirely and given whiny leading lady Bella a sound spanking beforehand ("Act like a flipping grown up, you silly twit") there were the workings of a pretty entertaining werewolf love story mixed up in there.

Washington? Beautiful. Old cars? Awesome. Animated werewolves? Brilliant.

But the problem was the script; tied slavishly to Stephanie Meyer's original novel. It just bogged the entire movie down throughout - and no amount of beautifully animated werewolves or gorgeous redheaded vampires could make up for the wilted romantic tosh.

The plot of New Moon sees beautiful Bella (a neatly anonymous stand-in for every single teenage girl to imagine herself in the place of) coming to terms with the fact that it's not easy dating a hundred-year-old vampire - especially not when his family try to eat you if you get so much as a paper-cut in front of them.

After a disturbing scene at Bella's eighteenth birthday party - when Edward bravely 'defends' her from his bloodthirsty brother by hurling her across the room and through a plate glass cabinet - he and his vampire brethren decide to ditch town to prevent any more 'accidents' like that one.

Giving Bella the old: "I don't want to be with you - but secretly I do, sniff sniff" farewell speech, Edward and his menacingly Aryan family depart and the entire movie becomes 200% better as a result.

But when Edward leaves, you have to start wondering what kind of message a movie like New Moon gives to its teenage audience. As far as she's concerned, Bella's life 'ends' when Edward leaves.

First, she curls up in a ball in the middle of the forest and is so incapacitated by grief that local Native American Sam Uley has to scoop her up and bring her home. Then, she sits in her room in an almost catatonic state for three months, only taking time out to mope her way to school or wake up the middle of the night, screaming.

Her dad, a local cop, has to rush in to her bedroom to brush her hair out of her eyes and utter soothing platitudes like 'there, there, Bella.'

(Seriously, after a week of that shit, I'd have smothered her with a pillow before the neighbours could call in a sound complaint.)

This pathetic behaviour is just the tip of the iceberg, though - because when Bella accidentally discovers that she can 'see' hallucinations of Edward when she's in physical peril, she starts to become something of an Adrenalin junkie - doing whatever it takes to 'bliss out' to images of her departed boyfriend.

This includes ditching a friend in the middle of town to take a ride on the back of some sleazy guy's motorcycle (the same sleazy guy who tried to rape her in the previous movie.)

This was the point when I realised that the script left Bella as a totally self-obsessed narcissist - and a pretty lousy friend to boot. Suggesting to teenage girls that it's in any way acceptable to leave your friend alone and vulnerable in a dangerous part of town is just offensive.

(Also, riding on the back of the motorcycle of a guy who previously tried to rape you is not smart.)

However, as is appropriate for a movie that's little more than teenage wish-fulfillment, there are no consequences for Bella's disgustingly selfish behavior. Instead, she follows it up by buying a couple of motorbikes - and flutters her eyelashes at doting friend Jacob (the doe-eyed Taylor Lautner) so he'll fix them up for her.

Another important message for teenage girls; it's entirely acceptable to manipulate the feelings of lovesick boys as long as you get something out of it. In Bella's defense, she pretty much admits to Jacob that she only sees him as 'a friend' - yet continues to give him just enough 'sugar' (and free pizza) to get what she wants out of the bargain.

(Just for the record, I'm not saying that boys should 'expect' anything from girls when they do stuff for them. I'm just saying that if you're motivation is unrequited love, then the girl who's plucking at your heartstrings is a pretty shitty friend. But since she also ditches her gal pals in a rough part of town to take a spin on the back of a rapist's motorcycle, the 'shitty friend' part has already been firmly established.)

There are further parts I have problems with - like how Sam 'wolfed out' and mutilated his fiancee, which serves as a rather blunt metaphor for abusive relationships (and how the mixed up 'moral' of the story is that it's okay to stay with a dangerous partner, just don't get him angry.) I also groaned when Jacob asked what possible motivation evil vampire Victoria might have for returning to Forks:

"She's after me," Bella breathily reveals.

I yelled out in the theater - and got some teeny-bopper death glares as a result: "For Christ's sake, it's not always about you, Bella!"

And finally, the bit that almost made me throw up in my mouth a little was the ending, in which Edward triumphantly returns and promises to 'turn' Bella - transform her into a vampire like himself. He'll only do it on one condition: "Marry me."

Stephanie Meyer might as well have painted 'abstinence until marriage' on a wooden board and clocked us around the face with it. It's not that I object to blatant moralising in movies - it's just that this abstinence message seems so out-of-place in a movie that spends two hours condoning every kind of self-obsessed, self-destructive, abusive and manipulative behavior teenagers might be prone to.

In real life, Bella's stupid behavior would have ended up with her committed, drowned, murdered, run over or eaten by vampires. All of those risks were worthwhile, though (according to the script, at least) as long as she didn't make the worst mistake of all: Open her legs.

Sheesh!

Why I think New Moon will suck (but I'm still going to see it anyway.)

Ever since I first dissected the Twilight saga, I've found myself roped into the whole melodramatic mess in a way that I'm not entirely comfortable with. In fact, this Sunday I'm actually going to see the sequel movie New Moon.

Mood: Brooding, with a slight chance of angst

Now, you all know my objections to Twilight:

• It's melodramatic
• The vampires don't abide by the accepted rules of vamparism
• It's romanticizing a clearly abusive and co-dependent relationship between Edward and Bella
• It's teenage wish fulfillment (new girl meets boy who literally wants to devour her)
• It's materialistic (Edward's pretty cars)
  
• It's focused on looks (everybody's beautiful.)
• The author might have plagiarized the whole saga
• The author wants to ban gay marriage

But my main reason for hating it, of course, is that Stephanie Meyer casually wrote Twilight over the course of three months, got a $750,000 advance and now has millions of adoring fans making her wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice (or Militant Ginger.) And she's not even half the writer I am. Bitch.

Anyway. Before I go and see the new movie, I wanted to explain why I hate that too - even though I'm secretly excited about sitting down with a bowl of popcorn this Sunday.

It's got a new director:

Even now, Hollywood's not exactly packed with female film directors - so when Catherine Hardwicke took the helm of the original Twilight, it was a thumbs up to women's lib and all that liberal nonsense.

Hardwicke did a bloody good job, too. Twilight wound up being a pretty good film (even by my standards) and Hardwicke coolly earned the distinction of having the best opening weekend of any female film director in history.

Hence why I was astonished when Summit Entertainment dropped her from directing the sequel, New Moon, without as much as a by-your-leave.

Like benching your quarterback when he's just scored a touchdown, Summit sacked their star performer and replaced her with a guy.

Not that New Moon director Chris Weitz is exactly a nobody - he was nominated for an academy award in 2002. It's just I don't the reason for ditching a successful director - especially not when her vision of the original book was so spot-on.

They ditched the ginger:

Rachelle Lefevre, the Canadian actress who portrayed sexy vamp Victoria in Twilight, will be back for New Moon - and up to her old tricks again. Yet Summit Entertainment, clearly establishing a pattern against well-performing female team members, canned her toned little tush for the third film in the series, Eclipse.

Lefevre as Victoria: She can bite me anytime.

"I was stunned by the decision," Lefevre admitted, "and greatly saddened not to continue my portrayal of Victoria." Legions of fans appealed to Summit to 'bring back Rachelle' but their plea landed on deaf ears. In Eclipse, Victoria will now be played by Terminator: Salvation's Bryce Dallas Howard.

It's fan service.

So one of the things I liked about the original Twilight movie was that it stuck pretty closely to the book - but improved upon it.

There was no real sense of danger in the original Twilight, as the 'bad guy' was a single rogue vampire and Bella had a whole house full of sycophantic Aryan bloodsuckers to protect her. In Hardwicke's movie adaptation, she at least upped the ante and made Bella genuinely appear to be in danger.

But in New Moon? No difference at all.

Literally, no differences at all. In fact, if you look up 'differences between the book and movie' on the Twilight wiki (Warning: This is the very heart of the Twilight fan consciousness - those who visit might not escape alive) you will see the differences are reduced to:

• Bella wears a green dress to her birthday party, instead of a blue shirt.
• The Volturi wear red cloaks instead of black ones.
• At Bella's party, the birthday cake is green instead of pink.

That's it? That's it?

Come off it! Here you are, transferring a story from one medium (print) to an entirely new exciting, immersive medium (celluloid) and the only way you can think to improve and expand upon it is to do a wardrobe change?

Suddenly the reason they canned the original director, Catherine Hardwicke, becomes obvious. She must have had some wild and crazy 'vision' for the movie that was considered too outlandish to pass muster with the fans. Perhaps it involved making a totally disruptive change to the story - like having paper napkins in the scene at Bella's birthday party, instead of cloth ones.

Listen, I'm all for consistency - but when you fire the director and one of the stars (the ginger one, no less) of the original movie, I think you're then permitted to take a few further risks with the script at well.

Okay, so maybe I'm ranting a little - but these reasons are why I'm dubious of New Moon. Perhaps my arguments would be a little more convincing it I wasn't (in a manly, totally non-squealing teenage girl way) still a little excited to see it.

Ask Militant Ginger

It’s that time again! When I trawl the search engine keywords that have directed readers my way!

Who is the fittest ginger?

Do you mean the British definition of ‘fit’ – as in ‘attractive’, or the more pedestrian definition, of the ‘most athletic.’ Since ‘ginger’ is a British term, I’ll assume the former.

Well, it’s a pretty subjective question. At the moment, I think it’s worth arguing that Rupert Grint – who plays Ron Weasely in the Harry Potter movies – is probably the world’s number-one ginger sex-symbol. In a recent poll, over 60% of ladies voted for him.

Is Rupert Grint the world's sexiest ginger? 60% of women say 'I guess!'

In terms of women, there’s no doubt about it – Christina Hendricks, from Firefly and Mad Men – rocks the kasbar as the world’s hottest redhead.

She’s peaking all the Google search statistics at the moment - and is generally accepted as the most gorgeous thing on television – despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that she’s built with the kind of curves that the fashion industry fell out of love with back in the Mad Men-era of the 1960s.

I love her. She’s stunning.

Christina Hendricks... No witty caption required.

Did Stephenie Meyer contribute to California’s Proposition 8?

‘Proposition Hate’ is what many people call the referendum in California which reversed the Supreme Court’s decision to allow same-sex marriages.

The ‘sanctity of marriage’ crusade was largely sponsored by the Mormon church, who donated millions for advertising campaigns and lobbying to get the bill passed (including this family, who spent their life savings.)

[I'd just like to point out that not all Mormons feel this way, nor should they be thrown in with the lot who do - Editorial Bear]

The fact that Stephanie Meyer, author of the wildly popular Twilight series, is a devout Mormon has raised many questions about her feelings towards same-sex marriage. Many of Twilight's biggest fans are the sort of people who support marriage equality – and they’d be understandably upset if the author of their favorite books was part of a crusade against the values they passionately believe in.

Well, I haven’t found any evidence that Stephanie Meyer directly supported Proposition 8 – and nor did I find anything suggesting the church to which she ‘tithes’ 10% of her income gave any cash to the cause.

However, that church DID donate over $190,000 in ‘in-kind’ services to people lobbying to get Proposition 8 passed, which is pretty strong evidence to support the assumption that Stephanie Meyer is against same-sex marriage.

Her church was very vocal in their opposition to marriage equality – and she never stood up to vocalize any disagreement with that - so in this case, her silence is as incriminating as any financial paper trail.

Help! My BeerMachine always produces cloudy beer!

Yours and mine both, mate! Having spent many years brewing with the Beer Machine, I’ve yet to create a crisp, clear batch of beer yet (but it's still delicious.)

The Beer Machine - not as easy as it makes it sound, but delicious never the less

However, through years of brewing, I have found the following hints have definitely improved the clarity of the beer I’ve made:

1. Thoroughly wash, disinfect and rinse your Beer Machine prior to making a new ‘batch.’ Totally disassemble the machine and scrub it to remove any and all traces of previous brews. Then, after reassembling the machine, fill it with a mild mix of bleach and very hot water and seal it. Test the seal by using a CO2 cartridge. Leave the bleach in the Beer Machine for at least twenty four hours, then rinse it thoroughly with cold water several times. This will kill any foreign bacteria that might be contaminating your beer.
2. Keep it steady! During the initial five-day fermentation, silt and sediment will sink to the bottom of the Beer Machine. When your fermentation is complete (when air stops bubbling from the pressure relief valve on top of the Beer Machine) move it AS GENTLY AS POSSIBLE to the fridge. The more you shake the Beer Machine up, the more silt will be disturbed – and anybody who’s worked in a pub will tell you that once you’ve ‘clouded up’ a beer, it’s impossible to put right again.
3. The cold-filtering period, when your Beer Machine sits in the fridge, is when it will get to its clearest. Make sure the fridge is cool enough (3 or 4 is a good setting) and leave it utterly undisturbed for a minimum of seven days (I recommend ten – three more than the instructions dictate.) Remember, any shift will swill up the sediment and cloud your beer. If you can keep it absolutely still, you can probably produce a fairly clear batch.
   

To produce a perfect brew, you have a couple of other options. One is a dedicated fridge – switch it off, with the door open, during the initial five-day ferment, so the Beer Machine can process the sugar into alcohol. Then, switch on the fridge and close the door. You’ll be able to start a dedicated cold filtration without moving the Beer Machine at all, meaning you won’t disturb the sediment.

The other alternative? Two fermentations. Run your Beer Machine as usual during the first fermentation – brewing the first batch of beer until the pressure relief valve stops bubbling.

Then, instead of moving the entire machine to the fridge, pour the fermented beer into a series of individual bottles – I recommend plastic, one-liter bottles, like Seltzer water comes in (it doesn’t look cool, but there is a method to my madness as I’ll explain.)

Once you’ve separated your beer into bottles, throw in two of these – carbonation tablets. These are basically sugar lumps, which give the dormant yeast contained in the beer a new source of food to chow down on.

Leave the bottled beer out in room temperature (70-77 degrees) for five days. Your beer will be going through a secondary fermentation, as evidenced by the plastic bottles swelling up. Your beer is basically carbonating itself, plus the alcohol content is increasing.

After five days, transfer the bottles to your fridge and let them chill for ten days. The sediment in the bottles will sink to the bottom – just like it proper ‘artisan’ style beer. After ten days, your beer should be dramatically clearer than using the Beer Machine, as well as delightfully fizzy and a lot stronger than normal.

Just remember to leave the ‘dregs’ in the bottom of the bottle when you pour it, otherwise you’ll dump the sediment into the glass.

Happy brewing!

Was Cameron the Terminator, from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, a virgin?

Erm. What?

For those of you unfamiliar with Cameron, she was a character in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - a promising, but short-lived sci-fi series based on the hit movies.

In the show, Firefly alumni Summer Glau played Cameron - a sexy Terminator sent back in time to protect savior-of-the-world John Connor from robot assassins.

Summer Glau is a fan-boy favorite and the show featured plenty of implied nudity to prove that SkyNet, when they created Cameron, were working off some primo blueprints (the only improvement would have been to base her off Christina Hendricks.)

But although there was an implied relationship between John and Cameron in the series, let’s not surrender to fan-boy fantasy. In the TV series she was a robot. A killer robot. A killer robot sent back in time, designed by a self-aware computer virus that detested humanity!

While they did everything they could to make her blend in – by giving her a perky set of breasts and a tight, round rump, as revealed in the various implied nude scenes – it is very doubtful that they ‘completed’ the illusion.

And if that’s too vague an answer, I’ll clarify – underneath her panties, she was probably ‘equipped’ like an Action Man or Barbie Doll. She was a robot, for God’s sake!

Saving the future? Easy. Keeping your clothes on? Not so simple!

Then again, Editorial Bear is nudging my elbow to remind me that one of the terminator robots they ran across in the series was ‘equipped’ for duty – and had posed as a woman’s husband for several months (which implies they were intimate on more than one occasion.)

Given that nugget of information – and based on where the series had been taking John and Cameron’s relationship – I’m now wondering if Cameron did come with the ‘equipment’ necessary to consummate a relationship.

If so, I worry deeply about the mental health of the show’s writers and am now secretly pleased that it was canceled! Crikey – some people!

Ask Militant Ginger

It's that time again! Where we sift through the search-terms that people have entered into Google and answer the questions that brought readers to Militant Ginger.

Is Stephanie Meyer an anti-gay supporter?

Stephanie Meyer, the author of the best-selling vampire melodrama ‘Twilight’, has been at the center of much discussion recently. Did she contribute towards the passing of ‘Proposition 8’, the controversial bill that banned same-sex marriage in California?

The issue seems to revolve around her affiliation to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The LDS, of course, are strongly opposed to same-sex marriage and equal rights for homosexuals. In fact, they were one of the strongest supporters of ‘Prop Hate.’

If Mormonism plays such an important part in Meyer’s life (which, by all accounts, it does) surely it’s logical to assume that she shares their attitude towards gay-marriage.

Well, I have a friend who’s a Mormon and if she’s taught me anything, it’s that Mormons defy expectations. They’re individuals and capable of making their own minds up on these issues. Generalizations are both stupid and inaccurate.

So while it’s a fair suspicion that Meyer might be 'for' Prop 8 – that’s a conclusion only reached by making several assumptions.

We assume that Meyer gives 10% of her income to her local church. Then we assume that this church supports Proposition 8 and other anti-gay legislation. That’s why most people assume she supports anti-gay legislation.

However, assumptions aren’t proof – and in her defense, it’s worth nothing that there’s no record of Meyer making a direct financial contribution towards supporting Proposition 8. Likewise, her church didn’t directly fund the campaign either (although over $190,000 was paid ‘in kind’ by the Church’s members.)

That’s proof that Stephanie Meyer’s didn’t directly support Proposition 8 - and even if she does support the measure, she’s remaining conspicuously quiet on the matter. Probably a wise move, as the Twilight franchise is very popular with some members of the LGBT community

What sort of car is a Furillac?

A Furillac? Well, it’s the monstrously powerful sports coupe driven by Simon Templar, in the first of Leslie Charteris’ ‘Saint’ novels.

Although The Saint is best remembered for driving a Volvo (or the fictional Hirondel) he actually started his career in crime behind the wheel of the equally fictional Furillac.

Charteris didn’t give much of a description of this car, but from the name (suspiciously like Cadillac) and the few words he did write, it’s safe to assume that it might have been a powerful American coupe much like the Cords of the 1930s.

In the novel ‘The Last Hero,’ later renamed ‘The Saint Closes the Case,’ Templar’s Furillac falls into the hands of the police and he hits the road in his friend Norman Kent’s Hirondel (a car loosely based on Charteris’ own Bugatti roadster.)

When Kent nobly sacrifices his life in the final pages of the novel (leaving Simon a note – ‘Nothing is Won without Sacrifice’) Simon seems to adopt the car as his own – and drives it for more or less the rest of his literary career.

(Cord picture courtesy of the Kilted Travel Agent)

Can you get a New Jersey driver’s license on a Tourist Visa?

No. In order to get a driver’s license in New Jersey, you have to have a valid VISA that is good for at least six months or more. Even the B-class Tourist Visa is only good for six months. Some states, however, do offer State driving licenses with less stringent regulations (and depending on the state, these can be exchanged for a New Jersey license after proving residency.)

What’s the British ‘English’ Mindset?

This is a question that could take an entire blog post to answer. Perhaps several of them!

From my point of view, the typical ‘British’ mindset isn’t always a positive one. Brits can be snobby – in both directions. ‘Reverse’ snobbery is rife and most people in Britain are instantly judged (and condemned) based on things like their accent.

Brits also have a tendency to hammer down any nails that ‘stand too tall’ and entrepreneurialism, ambition and success seem to be somewhat frowned upon. Brits should, to paraphrase Prince Charles, ‘know their place’ and be satisfied with it.

But moving to America, I have identified some typically ‘British’ traits that I do like. For example, Brits have a wonderful knack for keeping their mouths shut, whereas Americans (especially from New York) have an opinion about everything. Mummy Militant, for example, often frustrates me by claiming knowledge on things she really doesn’t know anything about.

But what this does mean is that Americans don’t take ‘no’ for an answer – and will give anything a try. While I find Mummy Militant’s self-confident ‘expertise’ somewhat frustrating, whenever she tries her hand at something I tell her she doesn’t know how to do – she more often than not manages to pull it off!

Redheaded men are ugly.

That sort of statement is exactly what I think of when I’m asked about the ‘typical British mindset.’

“Red-headed men are surely the most unattractive male specimens on the planet at the best of times,” wrote one British blogger I picked a fight with. “But they look even worse with their horribly pale, freckled skin..”

To be honest, I think somebody who makes an assumption that ‘all redheaded men are ugly’ is probably saying more about themselves than about redheads. What if they said the same about blacks?

Surely we’re all individuals – and should be judged as ‘attractive’ or not on a case-by-case basis, not lumped into one generalization.

Eric Stolz and David Caruso are two redheaded Americans who are generally regarded as fairly handsome. I know more than a few women who go weak at the knees when Caruso yanks off his shades in the opening moments of C.S.I. Miami (and I know a few more who laugh at the conceit.)

Rupert Grint, who plays Ron Weasely in the Harry Potter movies, is fast becoming a redheaded sex-symbol and plenty of girls I know have gone gaga over all the shots of his muscular arms (to be enjoyed in the latest movie, Half Blood Prince.)

Other redheads, like Simply Red front man Mick Hucknall, are often mocked as being unattractive – but it’s a universally acknowledged truth that Mick has more moist panties being hurled at him than any olive-skinned underwear model. In the case of this so-called ‘Ginger Stallion,’ sexiness is definitely subjective.

So I’ll say that redheaded men aren’t ugly – unless they are. Some are really strange looking goons (like Carrot Top) and some are matinee idols (like Charles Dance.) They might buck the trend for ‘tall, dark strangers’ but I’m pretty sure there are more than enough women out there who find a few freckles and a curl of ginger to be just what the doctor ordered.

(By the way, the redheaded model in the picture is from Model Mayhem. His name's Corey Tenold, and you can find his website here. Way to represent for us gingers, mate!)

How do you knock out power to a block of houses?

Oh my God! Why would anybody visiting my blog want to know this?

It sounds like the sort of thing a serial killer might find useful – although now my imagination’s working, I like to think it was some erstwhile adventurer googling goodies for a Simon Templar-inspired act of justice.

In any event, Militant Ginger IN NO WAY advocates attempting to knock out the power to a block of houses. DON’T DO IT. It’s illegal, highly dangerous, totally irresponsible and here’s how to do it:

As readers will know, America’s power system is a wondrous example of the free-market system at it's worst. Several companies compete for the right to supply your domicile with juice – but in the interests of profit, completely fail to maintain the grid in the meantime. This results in regular power-outages, ugly cables strung along the roadside and the ability to paralyze the entire eastern seaboard whenever a tree falls down.

It also means it’s ridiculously easy to knock out power to a block of houses. Absurdly so.

The trick is to find the local electric company’s ‘power box.’ This is a large, locally-situated generator/booster which boosts the power, or amps up the juice (or something) to make it strong enough to light up a row of houses. Knock that out (driving a car into it should work – as America’s drunk drivers regularly demonstrate) and you’ll send the block into darkness quicker than you can blink.

It’s not very scientific – and does carry the risk of electrocuting you – but it should work.

As I said earlier, though, DON’T DO IT. Don’t even THINK about doing it. The last thing I want to learn is that some stupid sod burnt themselves to a crisp driving their Honda Civic into an electricity pylon – especially if they did so after reading this post!

Will there be a sequel to Devil May Care?

Sebastian Faulks picked up Ian Fleming’s pen to write an anniversary James Bond novel on the occasion of Fleming’s 100th birthday. Devil May Care was the result – and was very highly received.

However, Faulks has already said he’s ‘unlikely’ to write a follow up. Initially reluctant to take the project in the first place, he feels that the next Bond novel (and Ian Fleming publications has promised there will be more) would be better suited to another author.

He suggested picking a ‘celebrity’ author for each progressive book – much like IFP had envisioned when Kingsley Amis first wrote ‘Colonel Sun’ under the nom de plume ‘Robert Markham.’

But Bond fans needn't despair. Charlie Higson is continuing to churn out the ‘Young Bond’ books. You haven't read the last of Britain's favorite secret agent!

Did Stephanie Meyer support Proposition 8?

Stephanie Meyer's 'Twilight' saga has been wildly successful - especially amongst an audience that embraces romance, the supernatural and the concept of 'true love will out.'

Which is why Stephanie Meyer's publicity hounds are scrambling desperately to cover up accusations that Meyer, a devout Mormon who attended Brigham Young university in Salt Lake City*, donated a 'substantial' amount of money in support of 'Proposition 8.'

Prop 8, as I'm sure you already know, was the controversial voter referendum in California, which amended the constitution to redefine marriage as 'between a man and a woman' - thus rendering 18,000 same-sex unions null and void and banning gay marriage for the foreseeable future.

(The California supreme court upheld the amendment on appeal, but legitimized the 18,000 existing marriages.)

This isn't exactly surprising. 45% of out-of-state donations in support of Proposition 8 came from Utah, while 80% to 90% of all door-to-door campaigning against Gay Marriage was carried out by Mormons and members of the Church of Latter Day Saints**.

In all, Mormons donated approximately $20 million dollars to ban same-sex unions in California (some families donated their life savings and their kid's college funds.)

At the very least, a significant amount of money from Meyer's 10% 'tithe' she pays to the Mormon church would have been used to support Proposition 8.

However, accusations still abound that she donated more money directly to the campaign.

In any event, I know this would upset many fans of the 'Twilight' saga.

Most of the ones I know were avid opponents of Proposition 8 and would be very disappointed to learn that Meyer's romanticized version of 'true love' only extends to those of different genders.

NB - Bob, of the blog The Mormons Are Coming! refuted my claim in his blog post 'Did Twilight Fans Help Pass Prop 8?' He points out that no cash contributions were made to the 'Yes on Prop 8' campaign by the church. That being said, over $190,000 of 'in-kind' services were donated in direct support of Proposition 8 - which still leaves their members (including Meyer) culpable.

* ...actually Provo, Utah, an hour south of Salt Lake City, as corrected by the lovely Ashley - Kitty Copy Editor
** ...actually the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as corrected by Ashley - Kitty Copy Editor

'New Moon' trailer snaps teenage knicker-elastic all across America

Today, fans of Stephanie Meyer's 'Twilight' saga were in official 'fan squeeee!' mode.

(For the benefit of Siger - a 'fan squeee' is the high pitched 'squeee' that emerges from a fan's mouth upon discovery of new or exciting material pertinent to their particular obsession.)

The reason for their excitement? The trailer of the latest adaptation of the Twilight books - New Moon - hit the Intertubes with a vengeance.

Read my dissection of the Twilight saga here.

In many ways, New Moon is both the best and the worst of the Twilight books. It's terrible because it sees snotty schoolgirl Bella Swan disintegrate into utter patheticness when she's dumped by pallid, prissy boyfriend Edward. (Apparently, vampire Edward doesn't trust himself or his family not to drain Bella of blood like a carton of Ribena.)

But while Bella is moping about, the book steps up a notch by following the saga of cheerful Native American 'Jacob,' played in the movie by a surprisingly buffed-out Taylor Lautner.

A love triangle, werewolves, motor cycles and cliff-diving make Jacob's antics far more exciting than the dreary romance between Bella and Edward - which is why New Moon promises to be even better than entertaining adaptation of the original Twilight.