NaNoWriMo 2008

Holy Page Turner!

This time last year, I was struggling to even come up with an idea for my NaNoWriMo novel - which I had to pen 50,000 words of in just 30 days.

In the end, I flunked out, starting several books, but even combined, writing less than 25,000 words.

Amazingly, even though I'd said I wasn't going to even participate this year, I've managed to go ahead and bust 25,000 words out - over half the challenge - in just seven days. On a book I hadn't even dreamed up until the morning the challenge started.

It's not a book I'd EVER let friends or family read, since it's of an.. ahem... 'erotic' nature. But it's a lot of fun. I was inspired by those old Fighting Fantasy and Choose Your Own Adventure books, so in The Reluctant Nymphomaniac, you take control over the action and guide our heroine through some very steamy misadventures.

Writing a Choose Your Own Adventure takes planning and plotting - but I'm doing okay so far. Maybe I'll even win this year - despite my best efforts!

Nanowrimo 2008

Well, it's that time again - the time when insane aspiring writers conspire to churn out 50,000 words in just 30 days. For my sins, I've got caught up in the adventure again this year - despite failing dismally last time.

But why listen to me tell you about Nanowrimo. Let's hear it from another aspiring writer - my friend, fellow blogger and legendary (at least to me) radio presenter Laura Parish:

Laura! For the uninitiated, what is Nanowrimo all about?

Nanowrimo runs from 1st November - 30th November. The challenge is to write 50,000 words in 30 days.

It can be any genre and any subject you like, provided it's not pre-prepared prose, so a completely new idea and no, it can't be the same word 50,000 times over. Planning is allowed though, thank goodness.

What I love about it, is that it encourages you to just write and not focus so much on the quality, but just on the enjoyment of writing.

What have you got planned for Nanowrimo 2008? Romance? Adventure? Science fiction?

My plan at the moment is Romance, but the exciting thing is that it could turn into something completely different.

What do you think the secret of ‘winning’ NaNoWriMo will be?

The secret is to try to write a little bit every day. If you divide the words over the month then it works out at about 1,667 words per day, which doesn't seem so daunting. My vice will be to waste time reading what I have written. If I can stop myself from doing that, I am half way there.

What might be a reason you’d fail?

Trying to over think the writing instead of just going for it. Life also has a habit of getting in the way but if I find I don't finish then its not the end of the world. I've done what many people only talk about doing. I've started.

When you’re on good form, how do you make sure you get your 1,667 words per day?

I just write. If I go over 1,667 words then I see it as a bonus. I just write when I can.

What ‘aids’ do you use (i.e. coffee, chocolate, drip-feed caffeine?)

Tea on a constant flow seems to work for me and chocolate is always a winner!

I also tend to have a film I have seem a million times or music I know really well on in the background as I prefer noise to silence, but I know other writers prefer peace and quiet.

Sometimes a change of scene helps me. If I can't concentrate at home (the internet is very distracting), then I go out, a cafe, the park. This helps shift my focus back. I know it's a cliche but it seems to do the trick.

Do you do any ‘pre-game’ planning, like plot charts or anything like that?

Last year I didn't plan, I just had an idea of the story in my head.

This year I have written bullet points regarding the plot and a character list to see if this method will benefit. I think it depends on what kind of writer you are. The thought of planning scares me a little as I never quite know how much to do, but I think you've just got to find what works for you.

Husband: Help or Hindrance?

When I want a distraction he's brilliant. When I need to focus and he wants to do other things, he's a pain. Most of the time though he is great.

What the hell is a ‘plot bunny?’

Google is a wonderful thing. However, there were a few definitions so who knows!

One definition told me that its a 'tempting idea that hares off into strange territory upon pursuit. Another told me that it was an idea for a story, usually referring to an author having more ideas than he/she can use.

Or it could be an idea that gnaws away at you until it's written or could simply refer to an idea for a story.

Take your pick.

Once Nanowrimo’s finished, what are you going to do with your masterpiece?

First I am going to get very excited about the fact that I've finished and then maybe gain some time on it, then maybe re-draft.

A final message from Laura?

Good Luck everyone! Here's to 50,000 words. :)

NaGeMyNoPuMo...

November is nearly upon as - and for many aspiring writers, that's the time for NaNoWriMo - the National Novel Writing Month.

I've been a participant for two years - getting a score the first year (with the Bootleg Boys) and then flunking out last time.

I have to admit, I'm not so sure about it this time around.

For a start, I've written 50,000 words this month on my as-yet-unfinished sexy-spy-extravaganza that contains so much sex and violence and dodgy one-liners that I would never let friends or relatives read it.

I'm not even finished with that one yet, and I'm expected to write another?

But I'm also aware that I need to do something... I've actually written a novel, Bootleg Boys, and have been so scared of rejection that I haven't even sent it off to a publisher - despite the fact that it's a million times better than Adventure Eddy and my one reviewer said he 'loved it' (apart from occasional rampant cheesiness.)

So this month, I'm starting National Getting My Novel Published Month.

I am going to get my manuscript in order and shop it to agents, to see if I can turn my Adventure Eddy dream into a reality.

And in the meantime?

Maybe I'll NaNoWriMo... If I have time... If work, wife, baby and (most importantly) inspiration let me.

Nanowrimo Failure

In a kind of literary suicide pact with fellow Nanowrimoer Jodiferous, I have decided to throw in the towel to 2007's Nanowrimo challenge. The spirit was willing, but the imagination was weak.

I flunked. I failed. My Nanowrimo attempt ended like English ambitions in a football World Cup - an embarrassing disappointment.

I think the largest hurdle in my path to 50,000 words was a plan.

I am a stickler for plotting out each of my novels, chapter by chapter. This time around, I had been so wound up with a publishing project that I never even thought about what I intended to write until a few days before the kick off date.

I leapt headfirst into The God Squad - but in less than 10,000 words, the lack of planning led my team of intrepid monster hunters into a gloomy morgue and no off-the-cuff plotting promised to lead them back out again.

Good story. Good idea. It just needed a plot and planning.

So The God Squad lurked in the shadows and I moved onto Plan B.

By this stage, I'd already wasted 12 days of Nanowrimo, so I would have to double my word count to even approach completion. So in the absence of an original idea, I yanked Adventure Eddy out of vacation and threw him into a radio-based adventure I'd been musing about for a while.

One Saturday, I hammered out 10,000 words of that story... And hit a dead end.

It was a nice little story, but needed to be plotted and planned. Adventure Eddy came to a dead end sitting in a studio at WinFM during Mia Saxon's mid-morning show.

[Mia Saxon's back?? And she's a radio presenter?? - Editorial Bear.]

So we'd blown the half way point by now and things were looking grim. Despite having typed a total of 20,000 words in two unrelated stories, I was now left with a word count of zero.

I tried my hand at one last project - something I'd been musing about for a while.

Basically, it was a fictional autobiography of Auric Goldfinger - the bad guy in Ian Fleming's 1959 book Goldfinger.

As much as I love his books, Ian Fleming was a pompous ass - and worse than that, the first three Caucasian bad-guys he invented (Le Chiffre, Hugo Drax and Goldfinger) were all redheads!

Since the popularity of The Moneypenny Diaries (the so called 'real' diaries of Bond's secretary) I figured maybe it was time for a different perspective on Bond's most enduring nemesis. So I started a little story following Goldfinger's arrest and incarceration after his failed attempt to rob Fort Knox.

I claimed his 'death' was staged by the British government so they could interrogate him and reclaim the billions of pounds worth of gold bullion he'd smuggled out of Britain.

It was fun - but difficult. Fleming's incontrovertible 'facts' in Goldfinger made a reinvention of the character kind of difficult and once I'd dug into his back story - which featured an upbringing in war-torn Latvia and a stint spent in Korea - I realised I wouldn't be able to right this story without several history books and - you guessed it - some concrete planning regarding plot.

So my third effort came to naught as well.

A grand total of 20,124 words written - and none of it worth printing on anything other than toilet tissue.

So since I'd made three stabs at Nanowrimo, I figured Goldfinger's mantra was worth observing. To paraphrase - first time is Happenstance. Second is Coincidence. Third time is Enemy Action.

I'd observe the warnings and surrender my Nanowrimo ambitions.

So what's the next step?

Well, I need to get my head together and start thinking about what it is I want to write, what I hope to achieve with my writing and how best to accomplish that. If the least few years have taught me anything, it's that the ability to sit down and write a 50,000 word story is just one of the many talents required to make it in writing.

I need a plan. I need focus. Otherwise I'll be like countless aspiring writers and scribble away, never really spending the valuable time required to find out what it is publishers or readers are looking for.

Watch this space...

Until then, some excepts from my stories:

The God Squad

They pinned the struggling girl to the gurney, straining as the tiny, slim woman threatened to throw them aside with her flailing limbs.

“Damn, she’s strong!” Mike was laughing hysterically. “I thought she was dead a minute ago and now…”

Thump!

The girl’s flailing arm struck him straight in the nose, knocking the grizzled man to the floor. His nose started bleeding profusely.

“Hold her down!” Doctor Lang ordered, but she realized it was useless. The girl who’d lain there like a corpse a few minutes ago was now fighting with horrific strength.

And screaming. All the while screaming and spitting blood.

Radio Daze (featuring Adventure Eddy)

“Hello,” Eddy crammed his muddled paperwork back into it’s folder. “What are you doing here?”

“Dur!” Mia rolled her eyes. “There’s a bloody great fire going on. I’m a reporter. What do you think I’m doing?”

“Oh,” Eddy realized she was holding a microphone and a tiny bit of kit he’d later learn was a minidisk recorder.

Mia ignored him, heading towards the crowd.

“Oh, this is great,” she complained. “I’m never going to get through that lot.”

Eddy stood there dumbly, his papers clutched to his chest.

“Where exactly do you want to go?”

“Where do you think?” Mia wheel around. “Look at those flames! Look at all the action! I need to get over there. I want to chat to the firemen. I want to interview the owner. I want to record the crackling flames on this thing,” she held up the minidisk recorder, “because it’ll make great radio.”

“Well,” Eddy beamed mischievously. “I think I could get you over there.”

Mia Saxon blinked.

“Really?”

“Piece of cake.”

The Goldfinger Chronicles

For twelve weeks now, their routine has been the same.
Captain Northrup enters my cell at nine o’clock.

I am taken to an interrogation room, where I am ‘persuaded’ to release information regarding the whereabouts of my global bullion deposits.

Account numbers. Vault holdings. Anything in order to procure my wealth for their bankrupt little government.

I will tell them nothing.

And until now, their attempts to extract information have been largely unimaginative.
For the first few weeks, it was just talk.

Talk. Questions. Threats.

So much talk that hearing Northrup’s pinched accent bark on could have itself been considered torture.

I told them nothing.

Talk is cheap. Silence is golden.

And gold has always been my obsession

Maybe one of these days, I'll dig one of these stories out and have another crack at it. But until then, it's time to take a break and get my head together.

Nanowrimo Day 2

Nobody said it would be easy - but surprisingly, it is - thus far (and long may it continue.)

So far, on day two of Nanowrimo, my horror story is being squeezed onto the page at a nice pace. I'm not quite sure where it's going - in fact the story's already veered dramatically off course - but it's going and that's the main thing.

Last year, Nanowrimo was an enormous focus of mine. I used to scurry home from work to diligently work on Bootleg Boys. This year, I'm not quite so passionate or excited about it, but the discipline Nanowrimo encourages is helping me put a story down on paper that had previously only existed in my head.

If I had been writing this without a deadline, I'd have spent so much more time on description, setting and other important foundations - but digging right into the meat of the story is quite compelling. I wonder if it will be as easy to read as it is to write.

But, of course, that kind of thinking is the kiss of death to a Nanowrimo'er. Don't think. Just write. Make the bloody great mess and tidy it up in December.

All I know is that I've got a very confused NHS doctor, a wounded policeman, a terrified nurse and a mysterious priest holed up in an abandoned Royal Hampshire County Hospital - and there's a very dangerous creature lurking in the shadows.

And I'm only on page 14.

Writing Adventure Stories for Fun and Profit

Nanowrimo is fast approaching and I'm totally at a loss about what to write.

Here I am, a talented [big head - Editorial Bear] young writer with a vivid imagination - but I have no idea what my 50,000 word story will be about - and I'm meant to start writing in a mere seven days.

Last year, I carefully crafted and planned the entire plot beforehand. Now I'm going to be plunging in at the deep end, hoping for the best.

One thing's for certain. It's quite a liberating feeling, knowing that I can write whatever I want. But do I just want to write? Or, like most Nanowrimo'ers, do I want to edge myself closer to publication?

If publishing is my game, I'd better have a plan [a game plan, perhaps? - Editorial Bear.]

That's why I've been giving some thought to what makes a book publishable.

Having married somebody with the attention span of a ferret, I am learning more and more about what makes things successful in the world of writing. It's 'bite' 'hook' and 'edge' that make all the difference. Get the reader hooked in five seconds or less, or they'll move on.

It's sad, but while writing talent is definitely part of the equation, it doesn't top the list of 'things that make people buy books.' That's why I've got to rely on more than my writing talent [talent? - Editorial Bear.]

When publishing companies pick up manuscripts, they first of all look at how marketable the entire package is. They worry more about how many copies they'll sell than the actual quality of the writing. That's where the money is.

Here's a good recent example. Missy Chase Lapine's recent kid's cookbook 'The Sneaky Chef' was passed over by a publisher who then went on to print Jessica Seinfeld's nearly identical 'Deceptively Delicious.'

Both were books about devious ways to encourage kids to eat more healthily (in fact, Jessica's book even contained some of the same recipes as Missy's.) The same books - and Missy's came first. But Jessica brought not just her possibly plagiarised prose to the conference table. She also brought the 'Seinfeld' name - she's the wife of famous New York comedian Jerry Seinfeld.

Celebrity Connections

That familiar name, plus showbiz connections, won an endorsement from Oprah Winfrey. That explains why Deceptively Delicious is zooming up the best seller lists in a way The Sneaky Chef couldn't have hoped to (although it still made it to The New York Times bestseller list.)

Celebrity sells. If you don't believe me, look at the top-five non-fiction hardback bestsellers this week:

• I am America (and so can you!) by Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert (who is also running for Presidential Election.)


• Clapton by Eric Clapton.


• The Age of Turbulence by former Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board Alan Greenspan.


• Celebrity Detox by actress, talk show host and 'professional lesbian' Rosie O'Donnell

Inexplicably beautiful hate monger Ann Coulter's book 'If Democrats Had Any Brains They'd Be Republicans' was nudged off the top five by 'My Grandfather's Son' - a memoir by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas [does being a supreme court justice make you a celebrity? - Editorial Bear]

Getting Buzzed

The other way publishers are increasing sales is by publishing books with 'buzz.'

Books that relate to topical subjects, like Iraq, Afghanistan, Global Warming and related newsworthy topics, invariably get discussed. That talk propagates on the Internet and creates more buzz, while people in book shops pick up the books related to subjects they've heard discussed around the water cooler.

It's Who Reads You

Reviews count.

Oprah Winfrey in America and Richard and Judy in the UK basically control the book industry. The books they elect to review are the ones whisked off the bookshelves by eager sheep [shouldn't this be 'readers' - Editorial Bear.]

But even a small review can help boost sales. It's just a pity that book reviews are slowly being trimmed from national and local newspapers.

Print space discussing books could, in the eyes of most editors, be better used as ad space. Many newspapers, such as The Hampshire Chronicle in Winchester, only deign to have book reviews if their author or subject matter is directly relevant to Winchester or Central Hampshire.

But they still happen. 107.2 WinFM had a wonderful book segment cooked up by presenter Elysa Marsden, in which she interviewed authors like Wilbur Smith and Kate Mosse. Getting a book endorsed on radio or in print is an excellent way to let people hear about it.

Hooked

The most IMPORTANT aspect of putting together a marketable book package, however, has to be the 'hook.' This is the thing that can propel an aspiring author straight to the best seller lists - if only they can get it right.

Just like movie producers have to deliver a 'pitch,' a marketable book has to have something compelling about it that can be summed up in just a few short words.

This is the stuff people will discuss over the water cooler and in their book clubs. These are the things that will grab my wife's ferret-like 'oooh, shiny' attention and get her walking into Barnes and Noble clutching a ten dollar bill [where have you been? You can't get a decent hardback without a mortgage these days - Editorial Bear]

Consider the blurb - and then listen to the pitch - regarding these recent best sellers:

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini - Against a backdrop of tumultuous events, from the fall of the monarchy in Afghanistan through the Soviet invasion, Amir, a well-to-do boy, is haunted by the guilt of betraying his childhood friend Hassan. HOOK: A teenage boy lets his male friend get raped by a Taliban bully - and feels really bad about it.

The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold - Sebold owns the template for writing dazzling openings too compelling to ignore, pulling you into a riptide that won't let go in an incessantly bleak novel of mental illness that leaves nothing to the imagination. HOOK: When a frustrated teacher's 88 year old mother loses bowel control, she murders her, hides her body and then has sex with her neighbour's son.

Into the Wild by Ken Follett - One of the most haunting, unforgettable reads in recent years. Krakauer, whose adventures have taken him to the perilous heights of Everest, explores the seductive, yet often dangerous pull the outdoors. HOOK: Successful college student gives away his car and possessions, hitchhikes into the middle of the Alaskan wilderness and... dies.

Murdering your mother! Letting your best friend get raped! Walking into the Alaskan desert and winding up as a gigantic ice-lolly. Who could FAIL to be hooked by these potent books?

Okay, they're all a bit depressing. But compelling? Oh yes!

Short of being a celebrity or cosying up to Richard and Judy [shudder - Editorial Bear] the best way you can ensure that your book will be a success if by giving it a compelling hook - a brief selling-point that will whet the appetite of even the most cynical reader.

Compelling hooks that involve death, dismemberment, rape and death [didn't we already mention death? - Editorial Bear] are the ideal choices (it's no surprise that W.H. Smiths now has an entire 'Personal Tragedy' section of tragic biographies.) However, if that's all a bit dark and gloomy for you, conspiracy, religion, sex, sex and more sex [you forgot sex - Editorial Bear] are likely to raise the eyebrows and hopefully assist on the journey from bookshelf to checkout.

Look Book

Finally, if all else fails, you could just slap a naked lady on the cover.

As a typical man, I will automatically pick up any book I see that has a naked lady on the cover. The same goes for sports cars, guns, World War II fighter planes [and semi-naked ladies - Editorial Bear.]

Lurid book covers sell books!

Conclusion

When we [who are you talking to? - Editorial Bear] embark on this Nanowrimo madness, we've got something important to consider. What is the hook we're writing about? What's going to grab the reader by the collar and wrench them into our make-believe world?

Over the last few years, I've spent a lot of time writing what I want to write - stories of adventure and excitement featuring Adventure Eddy and his chums. Now it's time to ask myself what a potential audience might want to read - and see if I can make the two meet somewhere in the middle.

I have a million and one additional Adventure Eddy stories I never seem to find time to write - but this time I'm going to invest a month in writing about something else. Something new, exciting and as much of a mystery to me as it will be to my readers [you have readers? Why was I not informed? - Editorial Bear.]

You still have a few days to join me on the Nanowrimo adventure!

Editorial Bear assisted with the editing of this post.

Nanowrimo 2007

Well, it's nearly that time again. Nanowrimo 2007 is creeping up on us and the starting pistol fires on November 1st.

But for those of you who aren't aspiring writers - or not determined to jeopardise job, family, marriage or health to further your fervid writing ambitions - the whole Nanowrimo thing might seem a bit confusing.

What is it? Why does it exist? How does it have the power to send hundreds of thousands of people scurrying into offices, spare bedrooms, studios and cafes to sit scrabbling at a keyboard for hours on end?

Well, I could tell you. But it wouldn't be half as interesting or exciting as letting Jodi tell you.

Jodi is my official 'Nanowrimo Buddy.' Last year, when I signed up to write 'The Bootleg Boys' in less than a month, I scanned through a list of participants who were also writing crime/mystery novels and Jodi jumped out at me (not literally, of course.)

I liked the cut of her jib! And you will too. Over the course of the last year, I've kept up with her border-spanning blog and been witness to her marriage, her pot plants and her struggles with Immigration officers (and she's an American, no less.)

Check out her blog here.

And in the mean time, enjoy her dissection of this Nanowrimo madness!

Jodi! For the uninitiated, what is Nanowrimo all about?

NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. It begins November 1st at 12:01 am and ends on November 30th, 11:59 pm. During this month, participants attempt to write a 50,000 word novel. Since you only have 30 days, it's about quantity, rather than quality. It's a lot more fun that it sounds, trust me.

What have you got planned for Nanowrimo 2007? Romance? Adventure? Science fiction?

Ack! I don't know! I really want to write a mystery, I love them. And I have such a good character in mind. And the BEST SIDEKICK EVER! But I tend to be more character driven, and I think mysteries need to be plot driven. I suppose I am intimated by that. We'll see, I still have 20 days to figure it out.

You managed to ‘win’ Nanowrimo two years running. What was your secret?

Truth is, my stories, and participating in NaNo, was so much more interesting than what was happening in my real life. I had a couple of writing buddies at work, and we would meet at lunch and "write." I recruited people to play along, and had word count competitions.

I also participated more in the local meet ups and writing groups. I was just so excited, there was no way I would let myself fail. I wanted the winners badge on my blog. I wanted to be worthy of the t-shirts. I have so many NaNoWriMo t-shirts, I'm anxiously awaiting 2007's shirt.

You also flunked out last year. Who’s to blame?

Love. Love is to blame. Love and World of Warcraft. Turns out, WoW is crack. I don't play anymore. But then, I only started to play WoW so I could have "dates" with my future husband when he was living on Vancouver Island and I was down in Seattle. Because I was IN LOVE.. I just wasn't in the mood to leave my reality for a fantasy world, LooOOOoove.

When you’re on good form, how do you make sure you get your 1,667 words per day?

Just sit down and do it. When it seems intimidating, I quit thinking about the word count, and start thinking about time. Maybe I will write for 15 minutes straight. See how that goes.
Sometimes getting started is the hardest part. I also write in public. I tap into my inherent shyness and bury myself in my story, and computer, to hide. Coffee houses, libraries, I used to write in a food court of a mall as well.

What ‘aids’ do you use (i.e. coffee, chocolate, drip-feed caffeine?)

Dr. Pepper, from a fountain, not a can or bottle. Also, music. I make playlists for my stories to get me in the right head space.

Do you do any ‘pre-game’ planning, like plot charts or anything like that?

I wish I was organized enough to make plot charts or outlines. (See above concerns about writing a mystery.) My pre-game preparations usually consist of making playlists in iTunes, and having long conversations with my main character. The first year, I had a long Q&A with my main character. Typed it out and everything.

Also, I try to clean my desk before November 1st. I think I might buy a new desk chair this year.

Husband: Help or Hindrance?

Well, I've never had a husband before, so we'll have to see. He is planning to participate as well, this year. If anything, I think the biggest hindrance for both of us is this tiny apartment. Since I am not working right now, I have all day while he is at work, but he never gets a moment to himself. There is no quiet place to hide in this place. Yes, I think it is I who will be the biggest hindrance in this scenario.

And possibly Guitar Hero III, which comes out for the PS3 at the end of October.

What the hell is a ‘plot bunny?’

I don't know, is that anything like a plot ninja/pirate? It's a tool NaNoers use when they're completely stuck. If you can't think of a single thing to write, put a ninja, or pirate, in the scene, that's bound to shake things up, right? Can't really ignore a ninja.

Once Nanowrimo’s finished, what are you going to do with your masterpiece?

The two times I won, I didn't actually finish the story, just the word count. I put the stories aside and got caught up in the holiday season. I looked through them, much much later, wasn't interested in pursuing them. My win in 2004 was so so so bad. There wasn't anything in it to pursue. This time, I am going to try to finish the story in 50k, so the bare bones are there. Maybe keep going, and fill things in after the month is over. I've got nothing but time, until my visa is approved, so it would be a shame not to finish it completely.

Thanks, Jodi! And good luck with Nanowrimo 2007!

There's still plenty of time for YOU to sign up to this exciting, infuriating, crazy madness. Head over to their website and sign up today. The more the merrier!

Tempus Fugit

"To fill the hour - that is happiness." Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's a horrible feeling when you realise your limitations.

Youth is filled with ambition. To be rich. To be famous. To achieve amazing things. Sooner or later, though, youth is somewhat tempered by experience.

We realise that dreams of glory might be beyond our grasp. For every person who is famous - known and loved by many - there are thousands who are famous only to those who already know and love them.

We can't all be film stars or singers or presidents and prime ministers.

We can't even all be best selling novelists!

Sooner or later, you get to a point in life in which you realise that jumping for the stars has left you slightly winded - and still no closer to reaching them.

Like a dog chasing it's tail, ambition can fill you momentarily with energy and purpose - but ultimately it doesn't lead you anywhere.

This is something I've grown acutely aware of - especially when it comes to Adventure Eddy.

I've been writing adventure stories for well over a decade now. As I grow older - and the stories grow richer and better written - I realise that Adventure Eddy's exploits may never hit the bookshelves of Waterstones like I once envisaged they would.

There's the horrific possibility that my writing legacy might be confined to marketing copy and pompous articles on the Internet. I'll never be a bestselling writer!

So what is there to do?

What is a writer if nobody reads what he has written?

Well, I've been very lucky. Friends of mine - and friends of friends of mine - have chosen to read Adventure Eddy. For all the book's current limitations, it's incredibly empowering to know you've shared this make-believe world with somebody.

The question is: Is it worth writing these stories if they'll never be published?

Part of me thinks that it is.

People have hobbies, don't they? They paint, or draw, or do jigsaws and crosswords. Maybe I should consider writing more like that. Something rewarding and worthwhile for it's own reasons - for what it means to me - rather than for what I hope it will achieve.

With the wonders of things like Lulu, it's entirely possible for me to fill a bookshelf with beautifully printed copies of Adventure Eddy's exploits. Even if nobody ever reads them, they'll be there, preserved for as long as the paper lasts and the glue keeps the pages bound.

Maybe I could print a copy and leave it on a bench or a bus, after signing it up to Bookcrossings. With the wonders of the Internet, people who find and read an abandoned book can 'report' picking it up and let the original owner know where it's gone and who's enjoyed it.

Ultimately, isn't it as rewarding for one person to read your book and enjoy it as a hundred? Or a million?

I've very little basis for comparison!

What I do have is a dozen stories tangled up inside my head. I have now come to accept that I might never make my fortune as a novelist - but I would still like to commit these stories to paper. The very act of writing and expressing emotions and memories is rewarding in and of itself. It's like therapy - or more accurately like medieval 'bleeding.' Pouring the thoughts out of your head before they turn stagnant!

I should do it. I should just write for the hell of it. So no crosswords for me. No sudoku. No more sitting in front of whatever crap it is on TV (although I'll make exceptions for The Colbert Report, House and Dr Who.) Just as Tina has her cross stitch and father has his painting, I will embrace my passion without the limitations of ambition.

At least I know I can write. I mean, that's what I do for a living. I get paid for my ability with words. So if my writing career has never taken off, it's not because I'm a bad writer.

And maybe, if I write only for myself instead of trying to appeal to an audience, my books will be interesting - or at least more personal.

It's quite liberating, really.

Here are some stories I want to write:

Bootleg Boys - the Adventure Eddy story about bootlegged beer is nearly finished! I want to write the rest of it so badly!

God Squad - it's like 'Torchwood' - except instead of aliens, my high-tech troubleshooting team deal with 'extra-Biblical cryptozoological entities' like unicorns, vampires and dragons. Oh, and most of them are heavily armed priests. It's basically fantasy/horror/sci-fi comedy for the Di Vinci Code generation.

The Price of Freedom - based on a 'Movies' plot I wrote, it's the story of a British national arrested for 'terrorism' by a corrupt sheriff in the middle of Pennsylvania. The embassy troubleshooter known as 'British Bulldog' must take charge of this 'captive' and get to the bottom of the trumped-up charges. It's basically a western set east of the Mississippi with an interesting take on the whole War on Terror thing.

Kidd Rockson - a crime novel. When a promising African-American student is gunned down by the county police for packing a gun, most people dismiss it as an unfortunate gang-related incident. But even though the cops have been exonerated, the student's girlfriend claims his death was murder. The only man desperate enough to believe her is down-on-his luck private detective Kidd Rockson.

Ginger Jihad - this one will be fun. It's 2046 and Europe is aflame. Fundamentalist Muslims and the Russian army have painted the map red. Fortress America has long abandoned it's foreign adventures in Europe and the middle east, so only Britain stands and - from the look of the besieged island - not for long. Then American astronauts discover an amazing thing. The perfectly preserved body of 1950's test pilot 'Big Ginger' orbiting the earth. This WWII vet is thawed out by the desperate British government. Can a pip-pip, tally-ho fighter pilot really be Britain's last and only hope?

Captain Albion - the world's first superhero is from England! This mysterious crime-fighter has the tabloids in a storm and Britain swept up in a wave of patriotism. But when the superhero's actions clash with the British government's plans, the Prime Minister sets out to deal with this uncooperative menace. Meanwhile, an ambitious young reporter searches to uncover the 'real' identity of Captain Albion herself. The explosive climax features America's own 'nuclear powered' superhero arriving to confront Britain's finest.

The Wedding Story / Black Dog - two previously finished adventure Eddy stories need to be 'retconned' to match Eddy's slightly altered origins.

Operation Mycroft - whatever DID happen to Adventure Eddy's missing brother? When Mi5 and the CIA start demanding answers, Eddy sets out to find out. A good old fashioned adventure story with car chases, romance, beautiful women, a villainous villain and it's all set in France which is AWESOME.

The Widow of Winchester - Winchester's new mayor is making sweeping changes. Are his twenty-first century ambitions linked to a mysterious gang of 'vampires' who are chasing out his political and financial rivals? Adventure Eddy sets out to prove that there are 'no such things as vampires.'

The Silver Relic - I've already written this one about five times. But this time it'll have one of those things.... oh, what's it called? That's it! A plot! Anyway. It's a story about one of those old Mercedes Benz Silver Arrow racing cars and the murderous lengths unscrupulous people will go to get one. Amazingly, it's (very, very loosely) based on a true story!

The Island Affair - finally - FINALLY - the story about how Adventure Eddy wound up on Tresco and what he did there. Expect high adventure on the high seas, a devious criminal mastermind and a bit with a dog. And unlike Adventure Eddy, there really WILL be a bit with a dog in this one. The dog is called Fido.

Adventure Eddy in New York - Sooner or later, it had to happen. Is Eddy's ambition to 'clean up' the city going to get him killed? Oh, what fun this story will be. Beautiful women. Deadly bad guys. All the sights, sounds, smells of New York city sandwiched in an adventure story. I can't wait!

Yes, as you can see, I have a lot of work ahead of me. SO MANY stories to write. Now I just need to sit my arse down and actually do it.

Well, the winter months are coming up. Now is as good a time to start as any.

And whatever you think of my silly writing ambitions - even you have to admit it's more productive than a jigsaw.

Stop the World - I need to pee!

"Just as you began to feel that you could make good use of time, there was no time left to you." Lisa Alther.

The teetering brink of autumn constantly reminds me that time is screeching past.


It was around this time last year that I first returned to America, to a wonderful week spent with Tina's family. That climaxed in an early Thanksgiving and this year, it looks like we'll experience the same thing. Tina's parents are coming up at the end of the month for a family get-together.

This time, of course, we won't be 'just visiting.' We're here to stay.

Moving to America was one of my three 'things to do before I'm thirty.' And I've managed it. Hooray! I also managed to achieve my second ambition - to earn a living by writing. But the third - to get a book published - stays tantalisingly beyond my grasp.

The arrival of Autumn is a harsh reminder that time is running out. I've got barely four months to get myself published before I turn thirty. That's just not going to happen.

It's a bit of a disappointment, but writing has been firmly on the back burner for almost a year now.

Following on from our visit to America in 2006, I settled into writing big time - and got stuck into Nanowrimo, a month-long writing competition in which you aim to complete 50,000 words in less than 30 days.

I managed to achieve that target - just - with my Adventure Eddy story Bootleg Boys. But my writing sort of teetered out once Nanowrimo was over. Work and the move to America diverted my attention.

Which means that Bootleg Boys is still unfinished, languishing on my hard drive. The problem was the ending. Nothing quite 'fit.' I have about four different versions now and not one of them is the 'definitive one.'

The realisation that I haven't written anything significant for almost a year is not a comfortable one...

(Well, actually, I have written dozens of successful radio adverts, a smutty story published worldwide, some national advertising and marketing copy, an Internet article linked to by the Wall Street Journal Online and my articles on 'being ginger' got my mug on a BBC documentary)

...so I have decided to spend October finishing what I started.

Bootleg Boys will get finished, by hook or by crook. And it'll be good. In fact, it will be miles better than Adventure Eddy. It might not be good enough to get published - but it will be a step closer towards that goal.

And in November, when Nanowrimo comes around again, I will start off a 50,000 word adventure about something completely different.

But until then?

Adventure Eddy rides again.

Writing

Wow. After a false start, I am up and running with Nanowrimo 2006. A daily target of 1667 words means I'm up to date and can finally shuffle off to bed.

Yesterday was a disaster. I started The Bootleg Boys in what I thought was a fascinating and productive new way, but it didn't work out. So today, I scratched what I wrote and started again. Fortunately, it seems to be working.

What an insane idea! 50,000 words in a month!

In other news, life toddles on. In reality, T and I are both stressed out. The future it sitting there on our shoulders like a big fat vulture. I'm desperate to return to America, but it's only nine months until Tina can apply for a British passport. In some ways, it would be crazy to leave before she gets it.

I'm still loving my job, but a horrible reality is dawning on me. Copywriters aren't rich. They're never rich. And maybe our one-up-one-down in Winchester is all we'll ever be able to afford while I'd doing a job I love.

Nobody else I know likes their job. Am I being crazy doing something I like?

Well, I have 1667 words to write a day, so I don't see what I'm doing wasting them here. Mind you, I have started a new blog at Editiorial Bear to discuss political issues. I post derisive comments targeted at a couple of the more loopy commenters on the interesting PCBS occasionally and am sick of them replying on this blog, so I've started a new one for political opions and comments - I've started with a few words about the De Menezes shooting, which is in the news again. You can find it here.

Nanowrimo - The Countdown Begins

On the first of November, despite mounting commitments, I am going to attempt Nanowrimo - to write a novel in 30 days.

I've got a really solid novel planned out - just haven't had a chance to write it yet - so there shouldn't be any problem. Oh, except for that pesky job, life etc. Tina and I are even considering getting second jobs to get our finances in order for a return to America.

So it looks like a pretty daunting task - but I'm sure it can be done. Why am I so confident? Because my incredibly prolific namesake, Angie Hulme, managed to do just that last year.

Angie describes herself as a 'wannabee writer,' which doesn't seem quite accurate since she's written a huge number of books, including "After the Fairytale" which starts off where the 'happy ending' of Cinderella finishes.

I asked Angie about Nanowrimo and the secrets of her success last year:

So for the uninitiated, what is Nanowrimo all about?

Nanowrimo stands for National Novel Writers Month. The basic challenge is to write a 50k word novel during the 30 days of November. Personally, it's a really big challenge and so much fun to do; socially, you've got this huge group of people who are just as insane as you are trying to do exactly the same thing – so you're never lacking support either online or in person from other Nanoers in your region. Nano as well raises money to do good things – this year the aim is to raise enough to build a library in Vietnam. It's all about having fun, doing something daft you wouldn't normally even think of doing and everyone not doing it thinks is totally insane, not to mention impossible, and going for that sense of achievement of a challenge well met.

This isn't your first year! Tell us about last year and what you wrote.

Indeed, this is my second year! I had so much fun last year I simply had to do it again! Last year I played the bad guy and wrote a story about a fellow who gains a big inheritance form a dead Uncle who suggests he uses it to do something memorable, something to change things – so my until-this-point everyday fellow reveals he's actually secretly missing a few screws, and sets off around the UK persuading other people to break the 10 Commandments! It was so much fun to write – just to turn off the inner editor, write whatever came to mine, not taking any of it seriously; I had myself in fits of giggles a number of times. And to make it even more fun I took on challenges form other people of things to fit into the story somehow. The entire Nottingham region had a challenge to fit ferrets in somewhere, other challenges met included evil bunnies, gnomes in compromising positions and a bucket with a big smile and a little hat...so yeah, it got almost surreal at points! But meeting with the Nottingham group every weekend through the 'ordeal' was so much a part of it as well – it wouldn't have been Nano without that, and the word games on the forums and speed-writing challenges in the chatrooms. It wound up, for me, as just a real fun time and after I finished sleeping after last years, I was immediately looking forward to doing it again! Incidentally – I did my 50k in 22 days last year; plan to try and beat that this time!

What was the secret of your success?

Coffee. Lots and lots of coffee keeping me awake late at night in order to hit my word targets, and plenty more at work the next day simply to keep me awake!
Having a good group around me was also really helpful – every Saturday the Nottingham Nanoers spend a couple of hours or an afternoon together and it's such a laugh and such fun and I would come away feeling refreshed and renewed and often with knowledge of where my story was going next; I think without that group of us I wouldn't have come near finishing. Also understanding friends are handy – non-nanoers who don't mind me asking random questions about nonsensical things or asking them for challenges or ranting about my characters or raving about my word count and generally hearing little from me except random nano nonsense for the month, they're great! I recommend warning them in advance!

This year...well once again I'm playing the baddie! My protagonist is a lady, a police officer, who after being jilted by her husband thinks back and realised that every lover she has ever had has done that in one way or another her whole life. So, again revealing a few missing screws nobody realised weren't there, she setts off tot rack them all down backwards from husband to first boyfriend in order to murder them in strange and interesting ways. So far for challenges, I have the Nottingham theme (seems to be 'the lower half of a man's right leg' - worryingly, none of us had much problem seeing where we could fit this into our stories!) and acrostic paragraphing, though I've not yet decided what word to spell out. And I'm sure there'll be more along the way!

What advice do you have for any budding Nanowrimo'ers (like me?)

First of all – snacks. Buy lots of snacks and easy to eat foods. Also coffee or any other favoured energising drink, plus water/fruit juice for general consumption. Make sure you have plenty – you'll be needing it while writing.

Second – warn all your friends who are likely to notice something amiss during the month – and once warned, you can also make use of them for bouncing plot off, advancing it by asking what they might do, talking to them on the phone to get away from typing for a while,and various other things.

Third – don't promise to do anything with other people; tel them you will if your word count is good, but don't make any promises for November or for the first few days of December when you're likely to be sleeping.

Storywise – have an idea, plot as much as you like, but don't force the story somewhere it doesn't want to go else you risk losing it entirely; be flexible, write whatever comes to mind and if you get stuck, talk to friends and other nanoers. Also if you don't like your main character – kill them and replace them, seriously, this is Nano, you're not trying to write classic literature – entertain yourself, whatever that may take, and you'll get through it.

Get a good headstart during the first week or so, then weeks 2 and 3 can be more relaxed and hopefully you won't spend week 4 in a panic! The daily word count divides into 1667 per day over 30 days – so try setting a daily target of 2000 per day, if you mostly hit that then the odd bad day doesn't matter and it keeps you on course for being able to actually finish your story, not just hit the 50k target!

Don't get disheartened by other people's word counts. You'll find some people ace right through and are i the 100k's while you're still in 20 – it doesn't matter, you're challenging yourself, not competing against them.

Keep it fun, really, there's nothing at stake here, it's meant to be a fun challenge – keep it light, entertain yourself, remember you're not writing a masterpiece, you're just...writing.

Well, you'll be able to read about my attempts to write The Bootleg Boys on Nanowrimo at the Adventure Eddy blog. The current story should be winding up in the next couple of days.

And if you want to find out more about Angie's writing, the best place to start it her website. You can also find After the Fairytale on Amazon.

The National Novel Writing Month

The reason I'm wrapping Eddy up on my Adventure Eddy blog is because I've got a new project for November.

November is National Novel Writing Month. It's a project in which writers pledge to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. You can find out more here: Nanowrimo.

Since I've been having trouble with The Bootleg Boys from the word go (I recently lost the first seven chapters when my laptop misbehaved) I figured it would be a good idea to get the bloody thing written!

Hence, I've signed up for Nanowrimo - and in November I'm going to write a novel!

Eddy Overload

If you're following Adventure Eddy, you'll notice a glut of posts.

This November, I'm planning on entering NaNoWriMo - that's the National Novel Writing Month. I'll be telling you more about that when I'm back from New York. But in order to do that, I'm clearing the Adventure Eddy blog to post my NaNoWriMo effort.

Adventure Eddy will wrap up by the end of October.