The Two Tiers of Immigration Law

I once got turned away from entering the United States due to a piddling VISA issue (which got sorted out and I'm now a happy - and lawful - permanent resident thank you very much.)

But because of that experience, I've kept a watchful gaze on the behaviour of other non-resident rogues and the attitude the Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services has toward them.

And I have to admit, I've been disgusted. As far the Immigration people go, it seems they're willing to overlook just about anything as long as you're rich enough.

I mean, we've already had the likes of brawlers Naomi Campbell and Russell Crowe given the green light to come and go, despite very public arrests for violent attacks on innocent bystanders. Russell Crowe lobbed a telephone at a desk clerk - and Campbell tossed a more lady-like mobile at a personal assistant.

Crack addict Amy Winehouse - who was recently diagnosed with emphysema from all the drugs she's smoked - was snubbed by the VISA department originally, but then allowed in at a later date - despite being a publicly acknowledged drug addict, having drug possession charges on her record and being charged with perverting the course of justice in the case that landed her husband behind bars.

And singer turned DJ Boy George even managed to keep his green card despite inviting cops around to his apartment while stoned out of his bald little brain - and letting them discover cocaine there.

Fortunately, it seems like even the BCIS has a finite tolerance towards celebrity bullshit. Due to new charges arising from Boy George kidnapping and 'molesting' a male model in his London apartment, the BCIS have denied him a VISA to go on tour in the United States.

But there's hope for Boy George yet - and despair for the rest of us law abiding immigrants. The BCIS is likely to reconsider their decision when the trial comes up.

What REALLY annoyed me about this situation is the statement the US Embassy released when they announced their decision to bar Boy George from visiting America.

"This is not in respect of anything he has done in the past, but because he is facing a trial in November in London."

Two years ago, he was arrested for possessing cocaine! In Manhattan! Which clearly violates the 'John Lennon' law, stating that anything other than a charge of possessing one ounce or less of marijuana constitutes grounds for a lifetime ban.

If you look online, you'll see thousands of hopeful American immigrants have been permanently banned for less - like drink driving, lesser drug possession or getting into fights while in America.

Not that I'm advocating their behaviour. I just want the rules to be the same for everybody. Why do the BCIS hold regular, normal folk accountable for their actions, but give carte blanche to celebrities who do far worse?

Just for once, I'd like to see the likes of Boy George, Amy Winehouse and Naomi Campbell held to task for their actions and forced to serve as an example for the rest of the world.

One rule for celebs, another for us plebs...

Nothing like double standards, eh?

For us regular folk, a trip to the US Embassy to apply for a VISA is a terrifying prospect. Hours of waiting. Intimidating officers. Fingerprints. Questions. Paperwork. Having to supply every single document you've ever given your name to over the course of the last three decades.

Plus the waiting - when Tina and I got married, it took FOUR YEARS for the Embassy to process our visa and eventually let us move to America.

But none of this matters if you're famous!

No, famous people live by different rules. Take, for example, the drug-addled diva Amy Winehouse.

She recently visited to US Embassy to apply for a work permit, so she could wail her soulful lungs out at the Grammys. Things looked bleak for the pop-princess, though, since traditionally the US Embassy has taken a very dim few of immoral activities and Amy Winehouse's rampant drug abuse is almost as famous as her music.

She was arrested and convicted for possessing cannabis in Norway. Recently, the tabloids published pictures of her smoking crack-cocaine with a London prostitute. Her equally unlikeable husband is currently locked up and facing life imprisonment for witness tampering and assault. Amy herself has been banned from visiting him in jail after she was nabbed sneaking heroin to hubby in her oversized beehive hairdo.

Yet astonishing - in clear violation of their black-and-white rules on the issue - the US Embassy has decided to grant Amy a work permit and allowed her to travel to the United States. What's more, they did it all in the space of a week!

I stupidly obeyed the law AND the immigration rules - and was punished with a forty-eight month processing time for a simple marriage VISA (standard processing time, 3 to 6 months.) Clearly, I'd have been better off snorting smack and shooting-up than being a namby-pamby law-abiding baby.

This is just another example of the idiotic immigration policy currently in place in the United States. It's no wonder that there are an estimated 30 million illegal immigrants in America!

As far as the Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration is concerned, their policy is: Punish the law abiding. Reward the rule breakers. Then scratch your head and wonder what the problem is...

Well, to finish up, here's a lovely comparative shot of Amy Winehouse 'after' and 'before.'

New Year's Lull

Well, it's 2008.

2007 has gone the way of the dodo - and it's funny, looking back at my blog entry on January 3rd 2007 to see where I was then and where I am now.

Back then, I was blogging about Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse, some fraud called Donny Tourette being in the Big Brother house and I had an interview with the incredibly gorgeous radio presenter Claire Anderson.

Well, the biggest change is that I'm now LIVING IN AMERICA. Which was my dream for so many years, it's kind of unbelievable that it actually came true.

In fact, I'm on the brink of all sorts of life-changing events that I won't go into here - but certainly make me feel pretty shallow for worrying about television dribble like Big Brother this time last year.

So 2008. What will it bring? Stay tuned to find out.

Living the (bad) Dream

Amy Winehouse.

I think she's terrific. Tall. Dark. Gorgeous. Talented. She's the most amazing British artist in recent history - like Lily Allen with more talent and less attitude.

However there's one thing that stops Amy Winehouse totally stealing my heart. She lives the hard livin', hard drinkin' jazz dream just a bit too hard.

I'm watching her right now, on the BBC ONE sessions.

And there she is, looking tall and gorgeous as usual. But when she scoops up the microphone and starts to sing, you can't ignore one small fact.

She's pissed.

Completely off her face.

Slurring her words. Swaying from side to side. Barely able to stand upright.

The live performance is VERY different from the slick music you hear on the radio.

I think she's got real talent. But she needs sort herself out. Not even the boys who lived the rock and roll lifestyle really lived the rock and roll lifestyle. Not like her, anyway.

With upstarts like Pete Docherty, it's fine. Notoriety replaces talent. They're nothing but a smear on modern music anyway.

But Amy? Dear, darling Amy. We like her. She deserves better.