Cringe...

"Instead of worrying about whether immigrants can learn English -- they'll learn English -- you need to make sure your child can speak Spanish."

10th July. Remember this date. For me, at least, it's the day Barack Obama's campaign for the presidency 'Jumped the Shark.'

The term 'Jumping the Shark' refers to the tipping point in a long running television, film or comic series. The point where it goes from 'good' to 'dire.' Specifically, a 1977 episode of the popular sitcom Happy Days in which greaser 'The Fonz' jumps over a man eating shark on a pair of water skies - and Happy Days goes from the second most popular show in America to an oft-mocked (and soon cancelled) joke.

Obama's reached that stage, as far as I'm concerned.

I've mentioned many times how frustrated I am with the pandering towards the Spanish language in America. Almost all signs and instructions are written in both English and Spanish and if anybody complains, they're labelled as a 'racist.'

I've run into more and more problems recently. For example, my credit card statements - despite numerous complaints to Bank of America - continue to be delivered in Spanish (Bank of America automatically assume any immigrant has to come from south of the border.)

Yesterday, I bought a new microphone for my computer and the warranty instructions were given to me entirely in Spanish - because that store has very few English speaking customers.

This is not acceptable.

America is an English speaking country - and if Russian, Chinese and Iranian immigrants can manage to learn English when they move here, I fail to understand why Spanish-speaking immigrants are not expected to.

But what's worse - why our potential new president doesn't have a problem with this! In fact, he's ordering (not suggesting, ordering) us to teach our children Spanish.

Bugger that!

Here and now, Mr Obama, let me tell you this... My child will learn French. Not Spanish. French - and if he wants to learn a second language, that's his choice, but I'd recommend Chinese. Or Polish. Or Swahili. Anything other than Spanish.

Why?

Because America's children should not have to be bilingual to live here! America is an English speaking country! As I've repeated ad nauseum, I was expected to learn French when I worked in Paris. Why the hell should it be any different here?

But this is all old news. An argument I've repeated many times before. It's only worth mentioning here because Obama just out and out said what I'd been dreading - that he's pandering to the Hispanic vote by promising them whatever they want to hear.

Which seems to be his stock in trade. Obama talks big and makes broad promises and gullible, foolish people (myself included, until recently) swallow them up.

He tells liberals 'I'm against guns!'

He tells 2nd Amendment nuts 'Your guns are safe with me!'

He's pro choice, pro gay-rights - but doing a better job than centrist-conservative McCain at winning over the evangelical movement (up to 15% are reported to have defected to the Obama camp since the campaign began.)

He comforts the liberals: "This notion that's peddled by the religious right - that they are oppressed is not true. Sometimes it's a cynical ploy to move their agenda ahead. The classic example being that somehow secularists are trying to eliminate Christmas, which strikes me as some kind of manufactured controversy."

H courts the conservatives: "Secularists are wrong when they ask believers to leave their religion at the door before entering into the public square. The majority of great reformers in American history repeatedly used religious language to argue for their cause."

Basically, Barack Obama tells you whatever you want to hear -depending who he's talking to (and hoping neither group compares notes.) It's only when November rolls around that we'll see the true 'colour of his money' (and his real credentials.)

"Change you can believe in."

That's the motto of the Obama campaign - and what a wonderful piece of marketing it is. By pandering to the disgruntled and unsatisfied (which is most of us, let's be honest) he promises the one thing that appeals across the board. 'Change.'

You don't need to quantify this change. You just have to promise it - and we gullible voters will envision whatever it is we want changed (and assume that Obama can give it to us.)

It's only when you start reading between the rhetoric that the hollow shell of Obama's campaign is revealed. In his July 10th speech, Obama promised 'change' alright. He promised to pressure Americans to make their kids learn Spanish - so the continued wave of illegal immigrants he welcomes to this country don't need to.

Bastante es bastante!

Okay, it's time America cut this Spanish-language appeasement crap.

I'm sick to death of it. I'm sick of the fact that Bank of America sends me my credit-card statements in Spanish (despite four complaints I've made) and I'm sick of every sign, leaflet, document and television program having Spanish translations or subtitles.

America is an English speaking country. American-English, to be precise, and if you're expecting to live here, you damn well ought to make a stab at speaking it.

It was Mr Noah Webster, following American Independence, who defined 'American English.' He wrote the essential American dictionary, the Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language.

If I've got to sacrifice my British idioms to fit in here (saying gas instead of petrol, 'zee' instead of 'zed') I don't see why my fellow immigrants feel compelled to demand that Americans accommodate their ignorance of English.

I worked in Paris for four years - and certainly didn't expect to get business done in any language other than French while I was there. When I arrived, I barely spoke a word - but I made the effort to learn. These days, I might not be the most graceful linguist, but I certainly know enough to get complex things done.

Not so our Spanish-speaking friends in America! Vile nationalist organisations like La Raza are promoting the idea that not accommodating Spanish-speakers is racist. What rubbish! By that logic, tourists in New York are being discriminated against daily because signs aren't in French, German or Japanese.

What really gets my goat is the attitude some pro-Spanish speakers have. After gently explaining to one fellow immigrant that I didn't speak a word of Spanish, she snootily responded: 'I think it's rather ignorant not to learn a second language, no?'

Her smile soon faded when I explained my fluency in French - and a basic grasp of German I still vaguely remember.

The fact is, American English defines the United States as much as the Stars and Stripes or Declaration of Independence. When Noah Webster established the spelling and grammar that differentiated American English from it's British cousin, he set a precedent.

"The appropriate standard for the American language," argued Webster, "is the same republican principles as American civil constitutions."

In this belief, Webster created 'Americanized' English, replacing "colour" with "color", substituting "wagon" for "waggon" and printing "center" instead of "centre." He also added newly invented American words, like "skunk" and "squash", that didn't appear in British dictionaries.

He created a new language to suit the newly created American Republic.

In the United States, we rightly celebrate our differences and enjoy an enormous amount of freedom to live the way we choose to. What makes us truly American, however, are not the differences, but the few things we have in common. The English language (or the American version of it) is one of them.

By refusing to learn American English - and demanding that the country accommodate their own language - millions of immigrants are taking the opportunities and freedoms given to them by American society, but refusing to consider themselves a part of it.

Al ordenar, hable por favor español

The future of America is at (cheese) steak!

Joe Vento runs a Pennsylvania steak joint called Geno's.

Demand for his famous 'Philly Cheese Steak' keeps the lines long outside of Vento's door - but the ever-shifting demographic in Philadelphia isn't doing anything to help that line move any faster.

Joe Vento and his staff keep running into problems because visitors to his store - specifically Hispanic immigrants - aren't ordering in English.

This led Vento to put up a controversial sign: "This is America. When ordering, please speak English."

This immediately incurred the wrath of various groups who claim his sign violates a city ordinance prohibiting discrimination in employment, public accommodation and housing on the basis of race, ethnicity or sexual orientation.

Their argument? That putting up that sign discourages customers of a 'certain background' from eating there.

But there's a hole in their argument. It's utter bunkum.

Bunkum

Professor Camilla Charles, of the University of Pennsylvania, claims that Vento's sign harks back to the 'Whites Only' signs of the segregated 1950s. But that's apologetic rubbish.

First off, Vento's not banning anybody from coming into his store or enjoying his cheesesteak. He's just asking that they speak English when they order it. Secondly, a request to speak English isn't discriminatory against Hispanic people. It equally targets tourists and immigrants from non-English speaking countries across the world.

The real issue is that Joe Vento and his staff do not speak Spanish - or Serbo-Croat, Swedish, Swahili or French. Therefore it's totally unreasonable to demand that they do business in a language they do not understand.

Like it or not - and despite the enormous numbers of Spanish speaking immigrants - America continues to be an English-speaking country.

Hypocrisy

What annoys me about this situation is how hypocritical it is.

In today's 'politically correct' world, a reversal of the situation - a Mexican diner that had a sign saying; "Ésta es América latina. Al ordenar, hable por favor español," would never be subjected to the same level of scrutiny because the left-wing 'thought police' dismiss any criticism of Hispanic culture as 'racist.'

But the very core issue here is not racism on Vento's part - but a refusal to integrate on the part of the disgruntled Spanish speaking customers of Geno's Steaks.

And that isn't an issue restricted to Hispanic immigrants to America.

For any responsible traveller, there is a clear duty to speak the language of the country you're visiting. Nobody goes on holiday to the Costa Del Sol, Mexico, France or Germany without at least attempting to learn a few words of the local language. [I believe British holidaymakers regularly do just that - Editorial Bear] And immigrants especially can't expect to live or do business in a foreign country without some grasp of the lingo.

When I lived and worked in France, I discovered pretty quickly that speaking French was the only way to get things done and be taken seriously. Surely the same rules apply to Spanish-speaking immigrants to America?

Not according to the 'politically correct.'

Neatly ignoring how far they'd get in Tijuana without a bit of Spanish to back them up (not far) apologists in America seem determined to grant Hispanic immigrants (especially the illegal ones) all the benefits of living in America without them meeting us halfway and making some conciliatory gestures (like learning the language and obeying our immigration rules.)

What's worse than that, they're willing to string up innocent, well-intentioned Americans like Joe Vento just for the crime of standing up to them.

America is a nation of immigrants - but a true 'American' immigrant embraces the culture, history and language of the country he intends to call his home.

If an immigrant refuses to learn even the most basic tenants of English (ordering a cheese steak isn't exactly difficult) then one has to accept that the issue isn't whether or not they're welcome in Joe Vento's steakhouse - but whether they belong in the United States at all.

Recent immigrants Militant Ginger and Editorial Bear still live under the misapprehension that American immigration regulations are mandatory.

The Plight of the Galgo

Sometimes, you stumble across things that utterly horrify and disgust you. Things that really make you wonder quite how 'civilised' we civilised human beings really are.

One such example is the plight of the Spanish galguerro hunting dog.

Galgos, as the Spaniards call them, are beautiful gentle greyhounds used in Spain for hunting and coursing hares. Affectionate, graceful and utterly loyal, these magnificent dogs are 'run' by the hunters for one season - and then they're brutally given the chop.

Quite literally, in some cases.

Although the Spanish could never be held up as good examples for the humane treatment of animals (bull fighting, anybody?) what happens to these out-of-date dogs is utterly disgusting.

Rather than keep feeding them, the Spanish discard them like trash. Burning them alive, throwing them onto a speeding motorway or, most horribly of all, stringing them up with piano wire and leaving them to starve and suffocate over the course of several days.

The way the Spanish treat these gentle animals makes you wonder if there is any humanity left in the world at all. It's utterly horrible.

Fortunately, a charity exists to try and help these poor dogs.

L'Europe Des Lévriers is a French charity which seeks to adopt and rehome these animals and raise awareness of what they go through. The ultimate aim is to stop the hunting and racing of the Spanish greyhounds - to take the Galgos out of the hands of the heartless monsters who abuse them. But in the mean time, L'Europe Des Lévriers seeks to rehome as many abandoned Galgos as possible.

In order to raise money and awareness for this noble charity, the Expat Brits of the Deux Sevres got together to organise a charity luncheon - and my mother played an integral role.

Hot and cold food was prepared by many kind volunteers. Paul and Sue Woods furnished plates, knives, forks and their catering expertise. Alan Peel was the highly qualified bartender and my mother helped organise the entire event with military precision. In the end, over 50 people turned up to enjoy the delicious food and meet some of the adorable Galgos and Podencos rescued by L'Europe Des Lévriers.

Over 1,600 euros was donated to charity organiser Beatrice Monnet and many more people were made aware of the needless suffering these poor animals go through at the hands of the cruel and heartless Spanish hunters.

You can read all about the luncheon here, at the Galgo News blog which is regularly updated by Galgo aficionado Beryl Brennan.

The website of L'Europe Des Lévriers can be found here. They can help with adopting a Galgo if you'd like to do so.

If you're stateside, rescued Galgos are also available for adoption here at the Tennessee chapter of the Greyhounds of America.

When this Spanish Language Codswallop goes too far...

So I know we have a lot of Spanish-speaking people living in America. But the national language is ENGLISH. Anglais! Ingles!

It's an English speaking country. We COLONISED the bloody place.

Yet today, when I received my shiny new Bank of America credit card in the post, the letter and leaflet sent with it was in SPANISH.

Not half-in-English-half-in-Spanish. Not English translated into Spanish. Spanish.

The entire document. Plus the stickers on my card, including the instructions on how to activate it. Everything in Spanish, without a single word of English written anywhere.

I assume that some bods at the Bank of America - who I've already blogged about being the first bank in the United States to offer bank accounts to undocumented aliens - saw that I was a foreign resident and just sent the Spanish documents as a matter of course.

It might not seem like a big deal, but I'm really offended and annoyed. This is an ENGLISH speaking country and I am ENGLISH, so when my bank writes to me in a foreign language I must assume something WRONG is taking place.

I spent thousands of dollars and almost four years of my life getting LEGAL residency to the United States. I really shouldn't have bothered. I'd have got more respect and appreciation from the American institution if I'd just hauled ass across the Rio Grande like the twelve million unauthorised guests currently living here.