Ask Militant Ginger...

Due to the wonders of the Internet, I'm able to actually look up what led people to this blog.

Some of the things people enter into the search engines are just bizarre strings of random words, but some are actually legitimate questions.

Therefore, I have decided to run a monthly 'Ask Militant Ginger' column to answer some of the pressing questions that people have sought me out to answer.

My cat ingested a peanut. What should I do?

Peanuts might prove to be a choking hazard for little kitty, so if he's hacking and yacking onto the floorboards it might be worth giving him a rattle (the kitty Heimlich manoeuvre) or taking him to the vet.

If Cat has successfully swallowed the peanut, I don't think you have anything to worry about - except perhaps you shouldn't be taking your cat to the sports bar with you. In all seriousness, cats can eat peanuts quite happily (although they prefer Whiskers) and I do know a certain kitty who seems to adore licking peanut butter off the spoon and has very rarely died from it.

My Jaguar V12 is 'pinging'.

'Pinging' or 'knocking' is suggestive of early fuel ignition in your engine. It might be worth taking it to a mechanic to have your timing checked. Another solution would be to raise the octane of the petrol you're currently using - switching from regular unleaded (95 octane) to Super Unleaded (98 octane) might solve the problem. I have written about it here.

Get it fixed, though, because 'pinging' indicates damage is being done to your engine and those V12 jobbies are quite difficult to replace!

Am I allergic to Cheerios?

By Cheerios I take it you're referring to the breakfast cereal and not the traditional British farewell.

Cheerios are lightly toasted whole-grain oat cereal and generally don't come adorned with any sugar or anything like that. If you experience symptoms an allergic reaction after eating Cheerios, if might be due to a wheat allergy. My advice is to stop eating them.

I have a fear of being clean.

Ablutophobia is the fear of washing or bathing. Consult a psychiatrist or you will find your social circle shrinking VERY quickly.

Can I travel to Paris if I have a peanut allergy?

It depends. Did you intend to eat many peanuts there?

Joking aside, Paris is one of the most cosmopolitan and fantastic cities in the world and if you get a chance to go there - jump at it!

However, it's worth nothing that the French manage to eat pretty much everything - sometimes not even bothering to cook it - and remain thinner, healthier and less prone to allergies and obesity than the average Brit or American. Therefore, they don't have much patience for traditional Anglo/American 'food bullshit.'

Your requests for vegetarian, low-carb and organic produce might fall on deaf ears in a corner bistro. Peanut allergy is not as talked about or catered to as it is in America.

In general, however, you should be fine visiting Paris as long as you don't eat anything containing 'cachuetes' which is the French word for peanuts.

I have allergies set off by cats. What happens if I travel on an airplane with a cat on it?

Cats travelling in the cabins of an airplane are quite rare - most are stowed below with the baggage in a safe container.

However, if a cat is allowed into the cabin in a soft container, you might find your allergies acting up depending on the proximity to the feline in question.

Jane B., an allergy plagued contributor to Travel Talk, shares her experiences:

"I didn't realize the airlines let cats fly in the passenger cabin until I was on a full flight and thought I was coming down with a terrible cold. I was sneezing and blowing my nose so loudly that I started hearing meows under my seat. I am allergic to cats and I can tell you I was not at all happy when I discovered a cat under my seat."

I would recommend asking the stewardess at check in whether a cat is on board and how close it is to your seat. Although most of the air is recycled on an aircraft, it is filtered and therefore as long as you're a few seats away, you should be able to enjoy the flight without hassle.

If you do find yourself sitting close to a flying cat, make notes. You probably have a lawsuit to exploit (ah, America. The land of litigation.) This means that a few hours spent sniffling and sneezing (which will annoy your fellow passengers far more than a kitty ever could) might earn you free flights, upgrades to first class or (worst case scenario) a place of that Homeland Security 'Strip-Search at Every Opportunity' list.

Whatever happened to Knut, the Berlin Zoo bear?

Read my original story about him here!

Knut, the abandoned Polar Bear raised by a zoo-keeper at Berlin Zoo, is alive and well! Just over a month shy of his 1st birthday, the Animal Rights Activists have failed to 'liquidate' the bear like they threatened to and Berlin Zoo is enjoying a financial boom thanks to 'Knutmania,' which has spawned numerous toys, DVD's, books and television specials.

Who is Paul Burston's agent?

Paul Burston, novelist and gay editor of Time Out London, mentioned his agent in an interview I did with him a few months ago. Paul's represented by Sophie Hicks at Ed Victor. He speaks very highly of her as an agent and they seem to be an excellent match.

I'm not sure if she'd appreciate your unsolicited manuscript, however!

Simon James & Hill?

What kind of question is that?

Somebody is a fan of Simon James & Hill and has been checking for updates on Original 106's bad-boys fairly regularly.

Well, following Original 106's horrible RAJAR results in May of this year, the Simons have been shifted from Original's breakfast show to an evening slot at 7pm.

This has meant Pat Sissons and Danielle Perry have taken over the breakfast show and a damn fine job they're doing of it. I've worked with both Pat and Danielle before and I think they're a great duo, very talented and far more 'on target' for Original's audience than Simon James & Hill were. In Hampshire and the South Coast, the competition for breakfast listeners is very fierce and it's only going to get fiercer with Original's 'A' squad hitting the airwaves.

No disrespect intended towards Messieurs James & Hill.

In my original post on the subject I suggested that the two talented presenters were not suited to Original's breakfast audience. It didn't mean they weren't good (they have the Sony awards to prove it.) With their riotous antics and laddish humour, I think they'll fit in very nicely to the the evening slot just like they did when they ran TLRC's critically acclaimed evening network show.

Simon James took exception to my opinions at one point (he even called me a cock, the wee urchin) but I had never intended to insult him or his colleague. I was merely suggesting - and Original's presenter-shift seems to back my opinion up - that Simon James & hill are the boys you want to party long into the night with - and not have to wake up to the following morning!

Joking aside, I do wish Simon James & Hill the best in their new slot and will be watching the RAJAR figures with interest.

How is Harry Osborn disfigured in Spider-Man 3?

If you go to Blockbusters, you can rent the movie and find out for yourself.

Harry Osborn (played by James Franco) goes a little nuts in Spider-Man 3 and becomes the 'new' Green Goblin in order to seek vengeance against Spidey (who he blamed for killing his father, the original Green Goblin.)

He picked the wrong time to do it, since Spidey was going through a bad-ass phase thanks to an alien-symbiotic suit (Venom) that enhanced his abilities by unleashing his anger. Harry was thoroughly whipped by Spider-Man during their last confrontation and a 'pumpkin bomb' he desperately threw to turn the tables on the Webslinger was callously hurled back an instant before it exploded. The blast horribly mutilated the side of Harry's face.

Later, however, Harry and Spidey got over their differences and Spider-Man 3 ended happily (well, as happily as it can considering Harry got impaled by Venom and died in his friend's arms.)

The Spider-Man trilogy actually sticks pretty closely to the comic books, but the scene in which Harry gets disfigured never actually took place. In the comics, Harry goes mad and becomes the new Green goblin, as in the movies. However, it's the chemicals he ingested that finally kill him. He dies just as ruggedly handsome as he lived.

Who are WorldVoice-News-Experts?

Also known as WorldVoiceNews-Experts, these guys are a bunch of scam artists who send aspiring writers promising emails in order to 'phish' their personal details, which sets them up for identity theft and barrages of spam.

If you receive an email from them, click the 'spam' button. If you're really dedicated about making a go of your writing, you'll find a real gig sooner or later.

Well, that's it from 'Ask Militant Ginger' for this month.

I hope it's been interesting and educational. If you have a question for Militant Ginger, feel free to email it to me (via my profile, above) and I'll get around to it for the next time.

The Great American Gas Swindle

BEFORE you angrily leave a comment - read a follow-up posting here...

With most cheap things, you get exactly what you pay for. That rule is absolutely true when it comes to American petroleum.

You might be surprised to hear that. After all, in America gasoline is about one third of the price of the UK (it's roughly $2.50 a gallon here at the moment.) But what very few people realise is that it's not the same stuff at all!

Roll up to a Shell station in the UK and you get offered Unleaded, Super Unleaded and, in some places, 4 Star or Lead Replacement Petrol.

In the United States, the gas station attendants (you don't pump your own gas in New York) will offer you Regular, Premium or Super.

Foolishly, you might think you're getting a bargain as you slosh American Regular into your car's 14 gallon tank - but you'd be wrong.

Because American gasoline is of inherently inferior quality to the stuff we sell in Europe - even the 'Super' grade.

The 'quality' of petroleum is matched to it's octane rating. This is the complicated percentage of iso-octane compared to n-heptane in the make-up of the gasoline. Standard European unleaded petrol, for example, has 95% iso-octane against 5% n-heptane.

No, I have no idea what that means. But I do know what it DOES. It controls the amount of energy it takes to 'ignite' the petrol in your car's engine. The higher the octane, the more energy it takes to ignite the gas - which might seem like a bad thing, but it's not.

You see, engines have to 'ignite' the petrol in each cylinder in a specific order to ensure smooth running of the car (and to prevent engine damage.) If your gasoline ignites in a cylinder early (producing a characterising 'pinking' or 'pinging' noise) the engine will get damaged as the pistons struggle to contain the out-of-sequence pressure. That 'pinging' noise - or Knocking as it's officially known - is an aural warning that your engine's getting damaged.

The higher the octane rating of petrol, the smoother and more efficiently an engine runs. Higher octane petrol increases horsepower and reduces fuel consumption. This is why NASCAR racing cars and World War Two fighter planes use 100 Octane fuel to ensure their combustion engines are running at peak efficiency.

Anyway. Now you know the basics of the Octane rating system, let me explain to your why American gasoline is a rip-off.

I mentioned that European unleaded is 95 Octane. 4 Star is rated at 97 Octane and Super Unleaded, which is what premiere league footballers use to fuel their Bentleys, is rated at 98 Octane. Just like European lager, this is the good stuff. Smooth, strong and 'reassuringly expensive.'

But if European petrol is Heineken or Leffe, that means American patrol is more like Bud or Miller Lite. Cheaply produced, generic in quality and liable to cause pungent exhaust fumes.

Because Regular American gasoline is a mere 87 Octane. Premium (ha! like Miller 'High Life' beer, advertising itself as 'the champagne of beers!) is 89 Octane and 'the good stuff' they call Super is anything but, with an Octane rating of 91 (or occasionally 93).

It's simply inferior fuel. The poor quality of the fuel is the number one reason why American engines need to be bigger and less fuel efficient. This is why American car manufacturers boast about getting 'an incredible 25mpg' while in Europe our mid-sized cars effortlessly deliver 40mpg.

This disparity is an enormous contributing factor towards the way Americans build and use their cars. If they had better quality petrol, their car manufacturers could produce smaller, more efficient engines (my five litre Lincoln produces the same horsepower as my two litre Volvo did) and the entire country would rethink the way they buy their gasoline.

But it's not going to happen, which is a pity.

What's even more of a pity is the way Americans seem pre-programmed to reach for the 'Regular' nozzle (or rather, their attendants do) instead of the slightly more expensive Premium or Super selections.

A recent experiment in my Lincoln has revealed that filling up with Super (for about three dollars more per tank) produces smoother running, more powerful and responsive performance (man, that car can SING) and then manages to give me a free 'gallon and a half' of mileage, delivering about 3 of 4 more mpg.

Do the mathes and you soon realise that it's actually CHEAPER to fill up with Super than Regular. It's CHEAPER and it's better for your car, better for the environment and you have to stop at the petrol station less frequently.

But still, like obedient little sheep, million of Americans line up at the gas station every single morning and pour gallons of Regular into their Yukon and Escalade SUV's, still stuck in the stupid frame of mind that they're saving a few bucks by buying the cheaper grade of gas.

That, my friends, is The Great American Gas Swindle.

Next week - Why Starbucks Coffee is overpriced...