One Year in America

It completely passed me by until I looked at the calendar, but today marks one year since Tina and I first set foot back on American soil.

It was this time last year that we arrived at Newark Airport (and I was given a rough time by some jerk in an Immigrations Officer uniform.)

One year... It's amazing.

Well, what has this year brought us?

The most obvious new arrival is actually still in it's packaging - Baby 'M.' Tina's not finished baking our American baby until the end of the month.

But since we've arrived, other things have happened that confirm to me that life here in America is much better (for us, at least) than it could have been in England.

I've got a job - paying much more than I earned in England. Tina and I each have the 'dream' car we'd lusted after back in Blighty (a stick-shift Firebird for me and a manual Rav 4 for her.) We're not rich, but we earn enough to pay our bills and still have some left over at the end of the month. We even live in a bigger (rented) house, closer to the centre of the action.

On the other hand, it's not all rosy. We're living in a country on the brink of a recession. I haven't seen my parents, or France, for well over a year now. Our poor little kitty, Ava, got run over just weeks after she and Tina were reunited.

But paraphrasing Thomas Jefferson - 'shit happens.' You can't enjoy the highs unless you have the lows to compare them too.

Our life in America is very modest. I haven't made my millions. Tina's face isn't plastered in the papers. We just live a quiet, suburban existence in a misunderstood little state called New Jersey.

But while the economy, imminent baby-arrival and American job security make life a little more uncertain than we'd like, I wouldn't exchange the opportunities we enjoy here for all the security in the world.

Action Plan

The Action Plan

1: Name three things about yourself you would like to improve:

1: I would like to get a bit thinner, fitter and into better shape. I know getting chubbier is a natural part of growing older (and being married to an outstanding pasta cook) but I look back wistfully at pictures taken five or six years ago and think: 'wouldn't it be nice to look more like that again?'

2: I'd like to improve my confidence. Although I'm an outwardly charming and charismatic person, that all seems a bit of a 'front' compared to how I feel inside. I'm very self concious and self-aware. It would be nice to adopt a more American attitude of self-confidence and being laid back.

3: I'd also like to improve my focus and ambition - to get my head down and finish what I start, so I can achieve things that I'm really proud of. I think the difference between successful people and aspirational people is simply application. Successful people have the motivation to get up off their arse and 'do' things. In America, I've noticed, 'doing' things gets your places. Sitting around and dreaming doesn't.

2: Name something you would like to achieve:

a) Within 1 year:

I'd like to actually properly get into writing. Writing articles, reviews - things that get published and read. In order to achieve this I need to break into several tight little circles, like the local Home News Tribune paper or something like that. So a realistic ambition that might be achieved by some self promotion!

b) Within 5 years:

I would like to finish, edit and send off a novel or book to a publisher and get the thumbs up. Although the publishing industry is more cutthroat than ever, I still believe deep down that I've got what it takes to write a book and get it published.

c) Within 10 years:

I'd like to start my own business - doing something creative, so I can work my own hours (albiet lots of them) be creative and, most importantly, be in charge of my own destiny. I'm not even sure what this business would be - I've got some interesting 'crafty' ideas. But nobody ever got rich 'working for the man' and the opportunities in America are more promising than anywhere else in the world.

3: Name something you would like to help achieve for somebody else:

I think the answer to this question means achieving things for my wife, Tina. Even though I'd had two long term girlfriends, I'd never really had a proper 'relationship' until Tina and I moved in together - nearly a year after actually getting wed. Going out with somebody is very different to actually living with somebody day in and day out! I've certainly grown up and evolved being married to Tina. I've matured emotionally and changed in a lot of positive ways - although I'm sure I still have a way to go!

In many ways, I think we have a great marriage - much better than many other married people our age. We both have the advantage of genuinely liking and caring for each other and being best friends, not 'just' husband and wife. But what I want to achieve 'for her' is to give her all the things she needs out of our partnership, like stability and security.

4: Name one place you haven’t been, but you’d like to go:

Las Vegas! Former playground of Frank Sinatra, the Rat Pack, mobsters, stars and more. I'd love to see the place for real.

Or else, just the West Coast - California and it's beaches and roads, the 'cowboy country' in Arizona. I'd love to see the mountains and forests of Colorado - it looks beautiful.

5: Name one person you haven’t met, but would like to:

This is easy! My friend Sarah. Back when I was at university, I got chatting to her randomly in an Internet chatroom. Now, almost twelve years later, we still email each other every single week. Thanks to blogs and things, we now both know what each other look like - but we've still never actually met face to face!

6: Name three material things you would like:

a)... A 'Tiffany.' As in, a great big ridiculous sports car suitable for Adventure Eddy. Although I have my heart set on something specific - a 'Knight Rider' style Pontiac Firebird with a 5.0 V8 and a manual gearbox - I'd settle for anything sporty that I can jump in and out of and slide over the bonnet. Basically, a car that could realistically drive from Paris to Nice in six and a half hours. Sure, I'll never, ever need to do that (although Adventure Eddy did) but it's nice to know you could if you wanted to!

b)... An American house - something specific, though. I'd like a traditional American wooden house (what do they call them? Colonial?) in a North Eastern state not too far from New York city. I'm thinking a yard, a shed, some trees (beautiful golden leaves in autumn and lovely white blossom in spring) and enough space to have a couple of animals - maybe even a horse. Not an impossible dream by any means (especially not in nearby Pennsylvania) but currently an ambitious one.

c)... Some animals. Ever since Ava got run over, I've noticed a definite lack of furry companionship in our lives. I'd love to have another Bengal cat - they're so beautiful and smart. I'd also love to have a silver dapple dachshund - a miniature about the same size (and brain power) as Piglet.

Well, that's what I've put down as my list of ambitions. Watch this space to see how I do with them! It's quite a funny feeling to see my thoughts put down on paper. Will I keep coming back to this post and fiddling with it as I think further about what I want to achieve?

I've sent this 'Action Plan' out to some of my blogging chums. If you're interested in the ambitions of other people, follow these links to see their own answers:

The awesome Shannon has filled in the Action Plan! Go and read her answers at her awesome blog, over here: Shannon's Official Home.

The hilarious Andrew Long has filled in his action plan too! Go and check out his responses at shutyoursprechhole.com

Finding Focus Part Deux

A short while ago, I wrote about a general malaise I was feeling - which I identified as a lack of purpose.

For years, I'd concentrated all my efforts on writing and moving to New York and now I've achieved those ambitions, it was time to turn the page and work out what I want to do next.

I think a lot of people feeling 'depressed' are actually just in limbo, wanting some strange, unidentifiable 'more' in their life without quite realizing what that 'more' is (and if you don't know what you want, how can you go about getting it?)

I intended to write down some definite, realistic goals and ambitions and hope that identifying them will help me achieve them.

It's all based on a principle outlined in Rhonda Byrne's book The Secret.

That book was crammed with all sorts of rubbish about the universe magically granting people their heart's desire - but strip away the magic and you're left with a very sensible and practical guide to getting what you want.

There are three simple steps to 'getting what you want.

Identify - Actually think about what it is you want that would make your life happier or more complete. This has to be something tangible - there's no point saying 'I want to be happier.' You have to work out the specifics of what you want: 'I want to be thinner," or "I want a new car," or something along those lines.

Visualizing what you want is something The Secret stresses. Like, if you want your agent to give you a call about that job you interviewed for, the book says you should close your eyes and actually imagine the whole process. Where you’ll be sitting. The sound of your phone ringing. The physical sensation of the cold plastic against your cheek. Your agent’s voice in your ear as he tells you the good news.

Sounds like a load of rubbish – but actually this is what I did desperately the day before I got the final call welcoming me onboard with the company I now work for.

Visualizing your ambitions is an important step in making them tangible.

Actualize - This just means identifying what it is you have to do to achieve your stated goal.

That's why your goal has to be tangible. It doesn't need to be realistic - you can wish for something 'impossible' like a million dollars and then, the next day, suddenly have a great business idea that delivers you your fortune (after five years hard work.) But the second step in achieving your 'wish' is to actually trace a line (however convoluted) between what you want and how you could get it.

The important thing is that this line flows from you - you can't rely on other people acting a certain way (they never do) or something random happening (like winning the lottery.) Your route to your ambition must stem from within yourself.

Accept - This is the most important step - actually accepting what you want when it finally comes around.

It might sound easy - if somebody offered you a suitcase stuffed with twenty dollar bills, it would seem difficult to say no! But often, the things you want don't arrive in quite the way you envisioned them.

Like if you were dreaming of a new, better paid job, you might suddenly be offered one in Arizona. The price of realizing your dream is to move away from everything that’s familiar at home.

Alternatively, some people are just naturally self-sacrificing (read: masochistic.) They might get offered what they really want - but turn it down because achieving their ambitions is actually quite a daunting prospect.

The third and most important step in achieving what you want is actually being brave enough to accept it when it comes around.

Now I’m not saying this stuff works – but it’s surprising how rewarding and successful the simple three step process can be. The most obvious advantage is actually focusing your own mind on what you want. It’s amazing how easy it is to drift through life knowing you want something, but not being entirely sure what it is.

To that end, I’ve devised a nine question ‘Action Plan’ to identify the things I want out of life. It’ll be interesting to see whether this helps me achieve them or not.

So here is my Action Plan. I’ll be filling it in and posting it later:

The Action Plan

1: Name three things about yourself you would like to improve:

2: Name something you would like to achieve:

a) Within 1 year:

b) Within 5 years:

c) Within 10 years:

3: Name something you would like to help achieve for somebody else:

4: Name one place you haven’t been, but you’d like to go:

5: Name one person you haven’t met, but would like to:

6: Name three material things you would like:

a)...

b)...

c)...

Finding Focus

Depression is a big talking point in America. All sorts of people are depressed. Some not necessarily because they have any reason to be.

While many people suffer from very real clinical depression, I think others might suffer from a more general malaise - one that exhibits itself when you're reasonably comfortable and content, but feel there's something more you want from life.

It's that elusive missing 'thing' that makes some people very unhappy - and I think it's a problem that's worse in a place like America, where it's cheaper and easier to meet your day-to-day needs (food, shelter, cable television) than in other countries.

To a certain extent, I've noticed it in myself. When I first arrived in New York, there were immediate needs that needed to be addressed - like getting a job, finding a place to live and securing an astonishingly impractical car to serve as the 'Ginger Mobile.'

Once those goals were accomplished, the momentum slowed a little - and recently I've found myself a little confused about 'what happens next.'

Treading water is a situation that doesn't lend itself to achievement. I've noticed my spare time - weekends and evenings - being eaten up by a variety of activities that don't seem to actually accomplish anything in the end. I've gone from having a million and one irons in the fire to actually finding myself wondering what to do when I get home.

I realise I'm missing a sense of purpose - and that 'missing element' is something that could be very easily misdiagnosed as depression. It's certainly depressing enough.

But I've managed to achieve so much in the last year, I'm determined not to lose momentum now. In many ways, I wasted the four years I spent in England because I was twiddling my thumbs, waiting for my American life to begin. Now I'm here, I should be determined not to waste a single moment. I should get out there and achieve my ambitions!

Cue the sound of screeching tyres.

What exactly ARE my ambitions?

I mean, they used to be about moving to America. Now I'm here, one of the reasons I've found it so difficult to get my head down and 'keep on trucking' is because I'm not exactly sure where that truck's meant to be heading.

Maybe this is why so many people find it difficult to locate that 'thing' that's missing from their life. They haven't given any thought to what it is they actually want!

A while ago, I posted about a book I've mentioned before (which came recommended by no less than gorgeous Rock FM presenter Claire Anderson.) The Secret by Rhonda Byrne is a pseudo-scientific self-help guide that has a deceptively simple and effective message. It's a method to bringing your dreams just that much closer to reality - as simply as visualising what they are and how you might go ahead making them come true.

While I don't believe the universe magically grants wishes, like The Secret seems to suggest, I do put a lot of weight behind the theory of visualising your goals. Setting targets is the first goal towards achieving them.

Therefore, I'm going to spend the next couple of days thinking seriously about what it is I want out of life - and how best I'm going to get it.

If you're unhappy, unsatisfied or just feeling 'bleaugh,' I suggest you do exactly the same thing. Think about your life now and think about the very real, very tangible things that would make it better - the things that would make it what you want it to be.

My martial arts instructor says: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." I think it starts even earlier than that. A journey begins when you open a map and decide exactly where it is you're going.

More Pictures of The Bridge to Nowhere

The Eurotrash Currency Game

“Bond had one million francs of private capital - Old Francs, of course - about seven hundred pounds' worth. He always reckoned his private funds in Old Francs. It made him feel so rich."

"On the other hand, he made out his official expenses in New Francs because that made them look smaller - but probably not to the Chief Accountant at Headquarters!”

Ian Fleming, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Once you’ve lived and worked in a different country, it deeply effects the way you perceive and react to things.

I’ve lived and worked in Britain, France and America and lived my life in four different currencies – Pounds, Francs, Euros and Dollars.

Francs were just fun. I loved earning 6,000 francs a month working as an assistant in Saint Valery en Caux – it made me feel so rich, even though that was barely six hundred pounds.

But now I live with roughly interchangeable currencies. Walking into a supermarket in Britain, France or America, you’re presented with items that cost 3.99 (whether that’s $3.99, £3.99 or €3.99)

The disparity between the values can be considerable. After all, a British pound is worth roughly two American dollars. But unless you’re an accountant or carry a calculator, the mindset you approach your shopping with remains pretty much the same. Whatever country I’m in, for example, I think in pounds.

I think I’ve mentioned an example of this when shopping for wine. Going into Rutgers Liquor (my local wine store) I examine the wine on offer and balk at paying $7.99 for a bottle of Little Penguin Shiraz – since in my mind $7.99 seems SO MUCH more than the £4.99 I’d have paid in England for the exact same vino.

In actual fact, the wine turns out to be about a quid cheaper. But it doesn’t SEEM cheaper because I still think in pounds.

I stupidly expect things to cost the same amount of dollars in America as pounds in England. And the ridiculous thing? Generally I’m right.

As in, a week’s shopping in England would cost £70 from Sainsburys. It costs roughly $70 in America for the same amount of stuff.

Filling your car with petrol in England cost £40. Here in America it’s roughly $30. Bargain!

Basic living expenses always appear to my stubborn little brain as costing the same amount in America as they do in England. The great thing is that my salary doesn’t. Things cost the same but my pay is doubled by the delicious exchange rate. As long as I think in pounds, but buy in dollars, I’m always going to be better off this side of the Atlantic.

This disparity is only interesting because it reflects a state of affairs ignored by the ‘exchange rate.’ To a bank, a pound is worth 2.02 dollars. To a spendin’ man like me, however, you’ll always get more for your two dollars then you will for your quid. The exchange rate seems out of whack in comparison to the actual cost of living.

Exactly how out of whack it was? I never thought I’d be able to know – except then I remembered a cunning invention from The Economist magazine. My father had showed me Burgernomics, or what The Economist call: The Big Mac Index.

MacDonald's is such an enormous corporation, they’ve spanned the globe. The amazing this is that they sell the same product – the Big Mac – in dozens of countries. The price discrepancy between these burgers reveals an entirely different exchange rate than that decided by the banks. It actually reflects how much the local currency will buy you, instead of how much the local currency is worth.

Taking my thoughts about the cost of American living under consideration, I examined the Big Mac index and discovered that my theory is supported. While an American dollar is worth roughly half what the pound is according to the banks, the difference in ‘Big Mac’ money is much more modest 20%. That means the doubled dollar wages I earn in America make me 80% richer than I was in the UK.

Time to break out the Miller High Life? (the ‘champagne’ of beers, $3.92 for six)

Maybe not. But it does make me appreciate not only the situation I’m currently in, but also the situation I came from. As long as I keep thinking in pounds, I’m going to be spending thriftily in America and that’s going to be more responsible for making me richer in the long run than any complicated Burger Economics.

Changing Seasons

"Autumn is a second spring, in which every leaf becomes a flower." Albert Camus.

Where does the time go?

In a little over a week, it will be four months since Tina and I first touched base in the United States. We're installed now, more or less. We've got cars and New Jersey driver's licences and I'm even lucky enough to have a great job.

It just doesn't feel like we're installed, though. We're still talking about how we've got to sit tight until the money's started coming in (although, to be fair, it's only my second payday on Friday) and we're holding off on all the 'things' we thought we wanted.

Funny how four months without one makes you realise that a personal micro-brewery is more a luxury than a necessity!

For all of America still feeling fresh and new, however, it's impossible to ignore the passing time. Despite long, hot days that are still in the low eighties, summer has slipped silently away and a beautiful New England fall is on the horizon.

Fall is what the Americans call autumn - and there's nowhere better to enjoy it than in the North Eastern United States. The beautiful oak trees turn all sorts of glorious colours and the weather is both bright and crisp at the same time. Throw into that Halloween and Thanksgiving - two of the most wonderful holidays in existence - and 'fall' even beats the long, hot, glorious summer we've just enjoyed. I can hardly wait.

We're already planning what to do for Halloween. There's the Field of Screams which looks like it's worth a road trip. Tina is also keen on going to the Eastern State Penitentiary which looks thrilling.

I have never had a Halloween in America. It'll be wonderful.

But fall brings not just a new wave of adventures and exploration. It's also the chance for Tina and I to get our feet under the table and really start to settle down in America. We're no longer 'fresh off the boat.' We're tax-paying, bill-paying, hard-working residents now and it's time to quit blinking in astonishment and start planning what the next stage will be.

What do we want? How will we achieve it?

Unlike England, America fills you with ambition and confidence. Once you've decided what it is you want, the American dream demands that you go out and achieve it - bugger the obstacles standing in your path.

Thanksgiving is two months away. I already have so much to be thankful for (not least of which, it will be my forth wedding anniversary.) In the lead up to that great event, however, what's to stop me working to achieve a few more things I can be further thankful for?

"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other." Douglas Everett.

What to do when you're not drinking...

In order to trim down to my fighting weight (as seen here) I have given up drinking during the week and taken up press-ups. This has the added benefit of saving me beer money and the price of a gym membership. I'm still fat, though.

However, I have another problem now too. Without a beer to quaff after work, I am left with abundant energy. Therefore I have a freelance job, writing and editing for an English insurance company.

Insurance. This is about as exciting as this story gets.

However, it raises an interesting point. America, being the land of opportunity, has given me the opportunity to earn a little money (about the price of a six-pack of Samuel Adams Boston Lager) every night, in addition to my (grossly underpaid) day job.

Why didn't Britain have these neat little opportunities?

That's one of the things that I love about America. There are always the opportunities to earn a few extra dollars. In Britain, they tell you that hard work never killed anybody. Out here in New York, they're testing that theory.

Wow...

Doesn't a week go fast?

Settlement progresses well in the United States, but not quite as swiftly or as smoothly as we'd like. But then again, I think it was Robert Burns who pointed out the falibilities of planning ahead!

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Robert Burns.

But things are going in the right direction.

We're working - just temporary assignments until one of the really juicy jobs I've been chasing works it's way through the pipeline (fingers crossed that one of them does!) But it's nice to have the focus (and modest income) from a job of work.

Since I'm spouting off random quoatations, what was it the guy with the cigar said?

Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness. Sigmund Freud

I think that's true. Being without employment for three weeks is surprisingly disspiriting. Work focuses your ambitions in a way idleness doesn't. Now free time is more limited, I've learnt to use it much more effectively to acomplish the things I need to do.

It's ironic, really. I moved to America thinking I knew all the answers - but instead it becomes a fresh new learning experience. But that in itself gives our unsettled life fresh new flavour and makes this American adventure everything I'd hoped it would be.

Notes from a Big Country

Reporting has been - and will continue to be - sporatic for the next few days. Tonight we make the big move and actually move into our new apartment - but that means living without luxuries like high speed internet, unlimited long distance and 200 television channels.

But after two long weeks, it's the first concrete step in the right direction.

Being here in America has been awesome, but things have not exactly gone smoothly. The apartment needed to be fixed up, the car needed to be inspected and the job interviews are being held by committee, so until today we'd failed in achieving any of the three most important American goals. A home. A car. A job.

To spend the first night under our own roof will hopefully be the turning point - and our other ambitions will swiftly fall into place.

Seven Suitcases and a Whole New Life

Well, Tina and I are in America!

We arrived on an overcast afternoon that soon turned to drizzle. It was all very British, except for the muggy heat.

Tina's brother and dad met us in her brother's enormous Ford F-250 - which swallowed up our enormous suitcases without any problem. Then we roared up the Jersey Turnpike to Hillsborough and a bit of a family reunion.

Last night, we all sat around an enormous table and ate the most delicious food. An enormous plate of Waldorf salad. Pepperoni and Italian calzones. Smoked ribs with the delicious meat literally falling off the bone. And lots of laughter and stories. It was a lovely welcome.

Tina's family is full of babies. Her sister gave birth to sleepy little Jared just two weeks ago. Her brother has a very intelligent baby called Ryan who is only a couple of months old and already has a moustache. When you're Italian American and Chilean cocktail, I guess that's to be expected!

Right now, the weather's very British. Most of the tri-state area is under a grey ceiling of cloud and drizzle. Tina and I are already putting the wheels in motion to kick off this brand new chapter in our lives and we're incredibly excited.

Your Life, Your Choices and Making the most of them.

In three weeks, Tina and I finally move back to America.

It's taken YEARS for this to happen. Like a carrot on a stick, the move to New York has always bobbed tantalisingly along in front of us, without ever drawing closer. But now, all of a sudden, the momentous occasion is here. And as exciting as it is, it's also terrifying.

It's terrifying because success or failure in America is entirely down to me.

That's what the American dream is all about, I guess. Going to a new world and grabbing opportunity by the horns. But a little voice in the back of my head constantly warns me that I might not be good enough, tough enough or lucky enough.

Confidence is a very strange thing, isn't it? Some people don't have any. Other people have bucket loads of it. A few have abundant confidence when it's quite clear to everybody that they shouldn't. And confidence often means everything.

Imagine your first impressions of somebody. Straight back. Good eye contact. A firm handshake. Confidence is all it takes to make a good impression.

Confidence is attractive and admirable. Confidence inspires people around you - and in America, confidence can sometimes open doors for you that diplomas and degrees can't.

When I move to America, from day one, I have to work on my confidence.

But maybe my confidence introspection is the first of the American opportunities I've promised to grab by the horns. I mean, the move to America in itself is one enormous opportunity. I will be thrown into a new marketplace and the people I meet there will have no preconceptions of me. If I can find what I need within myself, I can be whoever I want to be in America.

It's not so much a reinvention. More of a reworking. Just like they upgraded Tintin in the 70's by hiding the reporter's plus fours and giving him some drainpipe jeans instead. Keep the bits that are good - the bits that make me me - and work on fixing the behavioral niggles that my yapping little confidence monster tells me need work.

I'm sure it can be done. After all, isn't behaviour learned? Surely it can be unlearned and we can teach ourselves to behave in a different way. Just like you can bolster confidence by lying to yourself (I'm confident really, psyche. That quivering bottom lip is just a temporary and very localised form of Parkinson's.)

From day one in America, I need to make sure I'm pretending to be exactly who it is I want to be. And just like when you fib to yourself about your confidence, eventually the lie becomes reality and the person you're pretending to be actually becomes the person you are.

But that just begs the question: Who am I? Followed by: Who do I want to be?

Well, I won't list all my bad points. Not because I don't have them (I'm painfully aware that I do... Doesn't everybody?) But more because there is the chance that potential employers might read this blog at some point and I would hate for them to discover my paper-clip kleptomania .

Instead, I should list the positive steps I should make from day one in America to make sure I look and feel and act like the man I want to be.

Dressing the Part

Writing scripts is great. The whole showbiz side of radio is great. For six months or so, it was fantastic to skip with the suits and ties and go to work in jeans and a scruffy shirt. But scruffy isn't really who I am. In America and Paris, plus two years in Sales, I was always the smartly dressed one. Putting on a tie was kind of like putting on a suit of armour. It immediately made me feel smarter, more confident and more able to succeed.

So I think one of the first things I should do in America is start 'dressing the part.' Somebody once said 'it's better to be overdressed than under dressed' and in the world of Fifth Avenue fashion, I'm sure that's never been more accurate. Slick, stylish - and by default, more confident.

I'm the Boss of Me

Looking back at the most awkward problems I've encountered, I see they've all stemmed from the same problem. An inability to say no.

When you're lacking self esteem, you're eager to please. I'm always willing to say yes to things, even when they're not necessarily the best, most practical or even possible options- and that means almost every time I've felt the 'stress' vein pulse in my temples, it's because I've promised too much.

So instead of stressing out, from America Day 1, I've just got to be willing to look people in the eye and say: "No. I can't do that. Not without the benefit of the TARDIS, anyway."

Do Everything. Always.

In complete contradiction to the above, I've got to make sure I continue doing something that I've always been pretty good at. Taking opportunities.

In America, the world is my oyster. Think of the opportunities out there for a moderately talented man, free from the stigma of being Ginger and possessing a British accent!

Writing. Performing. There must be a million different side streets I could march down in the hope that they'd open up on whole new avenues of adventure. As long as I go ahead and actually do things.

I try and update my blog every day. I've been moderately successful getting stuff published and I've recently wound up on BBC television. Small fry, really. But imagine if I really got my head down and threw everything I had towards making 'something' of myself in New York.

I'm sure millions try it. New York is almost as full of struggling actors and writers as Los Angeles. But none of them are me. And maybe if I believe in myself enough (you see, it all comes down to confidence) I'll actually be able to capture some of the tantalising dreams America has teased me with.

Plus, I'm going to get a 9 to 5 to pay the rent. That's where a lot of struggling writers and actors fall down.

In Conclusion

I'm terrified.

Turning up in New York, with hardly two dollar bills to rub together, is possibly the scariest and most ambitious thing I've ever done. But I have a reluctant wife loyally by my side and friends and family to help point us in the right direction.

Just like a tightrope walker, when Tina and I arrive in America we can't look down. We just have to take one unsteady step after another until we're soaring above the circus crowd without any fear whatsoever.

I don't believe it right now. I'm sweating a little and I've got butterflies doing aerobatics in my stomach. But when I arrive in New York, I'm going to stand up straight and pretend there's never been a doubt in my mind. Hell, who knows. Maybe after long enough, I'll start believing it.

Look out, Big Apple. Here I come.