Showing posts with label catholic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label catholic. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Religion and Baby - it's back, baby!

Readers might have noticed posts appearing and disappearing over the last few days. Hopefully now the lines of communication have been reestablished, this shouldn't happen again.

So after a three day absence, here's the reappearance of my last post - which, as I mentioned before, is an angry, opinionated rant that's bound to offend good Christians everywhere...

As readers of my blog will know, I stopped believing in God over six months ago and since then have taken a very dim view of Christianity (or the popular American derivation of it.) (See the addendum below for some clarification about this.)

But with baby's long term upbringing to consider, it's been agreed to give him a somewhat traditional introduction to religion.

I don't think this is a bad thing at all. I mean, while I don't believe in God, I'm still interested in the history and politics of Christianity and can't help but acknowledge the enormous importance The Bible has had in the development and history of western civilisation.

The Bible as (bad) Literature.

Learning about the Bible is still a valid and important thing and whether my son eventually believes in it or not, he'll still benefit from a firm comprehension of the Christian religion.

Also, it's very important not to impose one's own beliefs on your children. It's up to them to make their own minds up - when they're old enough.

The success of the more militant evangelical groups in America's Midwest seems to come from parents brainwashing their offspring as early as possible (I recommend watching the terrifying documentary Jesus Camp to see how valid this accusation is.)

Hopefully, my wife and I can give our son a broad base of knowledge with which to reach his own conclusion when he's grown up a little.

But when it comes to Christianity, what's the most appropriate sect to follow?

What flavour of Christianity do you fancy?

Well, as a historian I'm pretty old school about this. There are only two truly valid forms of Christianity. Catholic and Orthodox. They date back practically to the Biblical period itself and in the western world, all modern scripture and canon originates with the Catholic church.

However, raising our son as a Catholic isn't really a practical proposition. For a start, I'm not a Catholic myself and I certainly have no intention of going through the motions to 'pretend' to be one for the sake of him joining that church.

Secondly, and more importantly, the Catholic church is a wildly corrupt and cynical organisation headed by an octogenarian former Nazi. Plus the John Jay Report revealed that between 1950 and 2002, 4% of Catholic priests had been embroiled in accusations of child sexual molestation and that's hardly the environment I want to expose my son to!

Throw in some of the more recent decisions the Catholic church has made - like angrily declaring the use of condoms in AIDS raddled Africa as a Biblical sin - and it's fairly obvious that the Catholic church is no place for anybody capable of making rational decisions!

But where does that leave us?

Splinter Groups

Well, if there's one thing America has, it's thousands of protestant Churches. Baptists, Methodists, Evangelicals... The list goes on and on and on - leaving us with a rather generic wad of mediocre protestants who add up to a whopping 80 million Church going Americans!

I have several issues with the idea of joining any of these Churches, though. For a start, tracing the history of any splinter group of modern Christianity generally reveals them to have begun for cynical, flawed and 'human' reasons rather than any particular spiritual imperative.

Protestants broke away from the Catholic church because they didn't want to give money to the Pope, or they wanted their priests to have families, or any of a thousands similarly inane reasons. Scripture rarely comes into it and if it does, it's used as a cover to rationalize a more practical reason to abandon the Catholic church.

What really annoys me about the dreary evangelical movement is their blithe decision to pick and choose which scripture they like and which they don't. Leviticus says it's a sin to 'lay with another man,' so they oppose homosexuality. Leviticus also said it's an equal sin to eat shellfish, but go to any 'pot luck' Church picnic and somebody will have brought a shrimp cocktail along!

Three first hand accounts of Jesus' life never recorded him saying anything against homosexuality. Paul, a guy who'd never even met Jesus, attributed anti-gay rhetoric to the King of Kings and conservative Christians accept it.

In fact, they'll pick and choose any out-of-context scripture if it appears to support their 'family values.' And that's the problem... The evangelical movement is Christianity cynically marketed towards the lowest common denominator.

It's scriptually unsound and, when you delve a little deeper into the evangelical movement's murky history (throw in the Klu Klux Klan, adultery, embezzlement, homosexuality and homophobia) it's pretty clear that the movement is fairly morally bankrupt as well.

So where does that leave us?

Well, in the end there was only one clear choice for me when it came to our son's spiritual upbringing - but it's an organisation that is tarred by almost all of the flaws I've mentioned above.

The Anglican, Episcopalian, Church of England.

The Anglican church began life in exactly the same cynical, political manner as any other form of protestantism.

King Henry VIII wanted to annul his marriage to his wife, Catherine of Aragon. The Pope refused to allow him to do this (as he'd actually make a papal decree making the marriage legitimate in the first place.) Angry and frustrated, King Henry split from the Catholic Church and established a 'Church of England' of which he was the head.

This had the added benefit of allowing him to ransack the Catholic Churches and monasteries, which swiftly made his bankrupt nation one of the richest in the world.

There were pages and pages of scriptural and spiritual analysis written to 'justify' the break from the Catholic church, but looking at the facts it's difficult to see the foundation of the Church of England as anything other than a cynical political move by an unscrupulous (but brilliant) monarch.

However, since that time, the Anglican church has remained pretty true to itself and it's adhesion to certain Catholic traditions make it a comfortable compromise for many churchgoers. This, plus some excellent missionary work during Britain's empire days, has helped make the Episcopalian Church the third largest in the world.

I am, of course, very comfortable with the Anglican Church. My grandfather was a vicar and a Chaplin in the RAF. I was raised in the days before religion was banned from schools, so we sung hymns at assembly and went to the Harvest Festival at the local Anglican Church. I attended a theological college (to study history, admittedly) and dated a priestess-in-training, so I wound up going to Church far more often than I'd liked!

In fact, several of my university buddies have ended up being ordained or working in the church, so it's a body I've continued to be associated with for most of my life.

Not to mention, the Anglican church - even if you're attending services in America, Africa or elsewhere - has a irrevocable streak of Englishness about it that I am excited to expose our little Anglo-American boy to.

My wife is also unopposed to raising our son as an Anglican, because the Episcopalian church services resemble Catholic ones and it's a respectable, established church instead of one of these fly-by-night offshoots America seems littered with (what the hell is the difference between the denominations of Baptists and why do they all hate each other so much?)

Problems with the Anglican Church

Of course, one of the problems with the Anglican church is that right at this second it's basically self destructing. In Canterbury, Bishops are gathering for the annual Lambeth conference and there's enormous controversy surrounding it.

This is because the Anglican church is traditionally fairly progressive - which is why I prefer them to the Catholic church (whose attitudes towards homosexuality, sexuality and 'sin' borders on the crazy.) But even the liberal church finds itself divided over the issue of openly gay priests (the first openly gay Bishop was recently ordained in New Hampshire) and the idea of female Bishops (which was recently introduced.)

Vast numbers of Bishops are boycotting the Lambeth conference to protest these progressive moves and even though I'm fairly liberal and have no issues with gay or female priests or bishops, I can't really blame them given some of the rubbish that comes out of the Archbishop of Canterbury's mouth.

That being said, one of the reasons I'm starkly opposed to the American evangelical movement is because they spend so much time and energy ranting and raving against homosexuality and female equality. Whatever happens, I'm not prepared to embroil my son in any religion that uses poorly interpreted scripture as an excuse to be actively homophobic or misogynistic.

More important to me than any religious rubbish are the founding principles of American society - the inalienable right to 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.' I don't have to approve of gay marriage or female priests, but since the lifestyle choices these people make do not affect myself or my family in any way, it is deeply hypocritical and unAmerican to infringe their rights simply because I don't approve of them!

This is America. Freedom is our most important commodity. What terrifies me about exposing my son to any form of organised religion is that Christians are actively campaigning to erode people's freedoms every single day.

But, like I said. I can introduce my son to my own opinions and beliefs, but as a responsible parent I should ensure he makes his own decision about things. I just hope (since I can't pray to a God I don't believe in) that he makes the right ones.

Addendum:

Since writing this, I have been asked to clarify my position towards religion and the existence of God, so here goes:

I am not opposed to the concept of a ‘higher power’ because, in many ways, it seems so wildly improbable that this ONE planet in this enormous solar system could just randomly produce life… and of that life this ONE type of monkey randomly develop language and music and art and Cheverolets… While the rest live in the trees and all the other planets are barren rocks.

It's so random. So unlikely. When you look at the probabilities like that, it seems insane that there’s any other explanation for the existence of humanity.

In many ways, it’s like the world’s an experiment. A Petri dish. An art project. And if that's the case, there HAS to be a God-like scientist, chemist or art student overseeing the whole thing…

So while I might not believe in it myself, I certainly don't entirely discount the possibility of this 'higher power.' What I do discount - absolutely and with extreme prejudice, is the concept of a Christian God.

The God described in the Bible is irrational and contradictory. He falls totally flat from the get-go, especially with things like the concept of good and evil, or the Christian God being ‘good’ but letting bad things happen.

The tsunami killed millions for no good reason. If ‘God’ is the ultimate power, who controls everything, why did he decide to do that?

How the word was created is a mystery, and while I definitely lean towards atheist rather than agnostic, a deity could exist. However, I firmly refuse to believe in the Christian God. He seems so hypocritical. So false. So wrong.

I mean, what’s up with the Book of Job? God made the man’s life a total misery to prove a point to Satan? To win an arguement? That makes God an enormous... Well, I won't say what it makes God, at the risk of offending one of my readers. Let's just say that it doesn't make God a very nice man at all.

And I don’t like the idea of original sin. When I look at my sleeping son, he looks so sweet and innocent and I hate the concept of a religion that’s condemning him to hell until he’s baptized and grows up to accept Jesus Christ as his savior. I mean, the Bible says we have free will, but it’s not exactly free will when the deal is: ‘Accept Christ or go to hell.’ That’s not free will at all! It's slavery!

So just to clarify, my athiest pretentions are more theological in nature than philosophical. Believing in science and reason might answer more questions can Christianity ever could - but the big ones still remain unanswered.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Guy Fawkes Day

Four hundred and two years ago, Guy Fawkes and a band of collaborators attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament during the State Opening.

The year was 1605 - 71 years after Henry VII had declared himself Head of the Church of England. For seven decades, Catholic conspirators had plotted to return a Catholic monarch to the English throne, but they had been foiled at every turn.

It was Robert Catesby, who had already risked the executioner's axe supporting the Earl of Essex's ill-fated scheme to depose Queen Elizabeth, who came up with the latest and most ambitious plot to overthrow the English crown.

He and his band of collaborators, led by Guy Fawkes, rented a cellar under the Houses of Parliament in London, which they filled with almost a ton of gunpowder. During the State opening of Parliament, when King James I planned to address the ministers of England, the conspirators intended to light the explosives and obliterate the treacherous king and his hated government.

Had they succeeded, English history would never have been the same. Parliament, the Great Hall and even Westminster Abbey would have been blown to rubble. It was a singularly ambitious and spectacular act of terrorism.

But terrorists were a treacherous lot even back then and it was Francis Tresham, a man reluctantly recruited to the Catholic cause due to his money and influence, who betrayed Guy Fawkes and his conspirators.

Tresham wrote to his brother in law, Lord Monteagle, advising him to "devise some excuse not to attend this parliament, for they shall receive a terrible blow, and yet shall not see who hurts them."

Monteagle revealed the warning to the Earl of Salisbury and later that night, when the 5th of November 1605 was but a few hours old, men-at-arms discovered Guy Fawkes lurking in the gunpowder packed cellar, carrying a watch, matches and fuses.

The conspiracy was foiled and Parliament convened as planned a few days later.

Ironically, the Catholics had plotted to assassinate King James I because of his intolerance of their faith. After the full extent of the plot had been uncovered, King James gave a speech to the people of England in which he declared "it did not follow that all professing the Romish religion were guilty of the same."

In much the same way that Tony Blair and the British government have clarified that modern day terrorism is committed by a minority of Muslims, rather than Islam as a whole, King James declared that the gunpowder plot was not representative of the English Catholic community.

Despite that statement, Catholic Emancipation in England still took another 200 years.

As for the conspirators themselves? Guy Fawkes was tortured extensively, before being hung, drawn and quartered in Old Palace Yard. Robert Catesby fled to the midlands of England, where he was shot and killed in a shootout with guards sent to arrest him.

And now, even four hundred years later, people in Britain celebrate Guy Fawke's day with bonfires, fireworks and stuffed 'guys.' Perhaps the exact details of the event are vague in many people's minds, but this famous poem helps remind us of why the 5th of November is such an important date:

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason and plot,
I see of no reason why gunpowder treason,
Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, 'twas his intent
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow:

By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

Hip hip hoorah!

A penny loaf to feed the Pope.
A farthing o' cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down.
A fagot of sticks to burn him.

Burn him in a tub of tar.
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head.
Then we'll say ol' Pope is dead.

Hip hip hoorah!
Hip hip hoorah!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

The Brand of Jesus

It wasn't Ava who woke me up at an ungodly hour this morning. It was the sound of hammering on my bedroom wall. Blearily peering around the door, I discovered my mother in law had erected this monstrosity in our kitchen:



Just in case you're wondering, yes. This IS a plastic veneer clock featuring a chintzy picture of Jesus and his Disciples at The Last Supper. Mom (or as Tina calls her, Maaaaaa!) discovered it in our basement and moved it upstairs: "So Jesus would give you a little luck."

Which is a really sweet idea - although I thought it was leprechauns that went around doling out luck. Jesus kind of stuck to salvation and other big, important spiritual matters.

In any event, I'm not a big fan of the clock. It's cheap, tacky and plastic. I'm sure Jesus would not be too impressed that his image was inexpensively printed on it. Tina has interpreted my dislike of the clock as good, old fashioned Episcopalian distaste for iconography. In actual fact, it's far less complicated than that.

Who owns Jesus' copyright?

Having worked in the media for the last few years, I've had the chance to work with some reasonably famous celebrities (big names, like Nasty Nick from Season 1 of Big Brother.) One thing's for sure. If some shoddy Chinese factory started churning out crappy plastic clocks with, for example, Ricky Gervais' mug printed on them, there'd be a court case brewing before you can say: "Flanimal."

But poor Jesus - arguably the ultimate celebrity - doesn't have the protection a good Agent and a retinue of lawyers grants most famous people. For the last two thousand years, his likeness has been plastered over everything from priceless gold-leafed bibles to the crappy clock that's presently disgracing my kitchen wall.

It's not just his picture, either. Any good Catholic will criticize you for taking the Lord's name in vain (When I hit my thumb with a hammer, I've adapted to yelling the less offensive: Jesus H. Corbett!)

Yet poor old Jesus has his name attached to all sorts of ridiculous campaigns, including those of the highly offensive Westboro Baptist Church - who proclaim: "Thank God for Improvised Explosive Devices" - their protest against the war in Iraq - and run a website called "Godhatesfags.com" - which promotes the idea that homosexuality should be a capital crime.

I just think it's wrong. Very, very wrong. Whether you believe he was the Son of God or not, it's pretty much accepted that Jesus was a real person living in real times (try reading the excellent Werner Keller book The Bible as History to draw your own conclusions.) Surely it's not quite right that his image, name and personal brand get plastered over all sorts of eclectic products and campaigns.

It's not even his image half the time. Jesus was a Jewish carpenter growing up in the Holy Land. He was probably a stocky, swarthy little man - instead of the dashing, blue eyed Robert Powell lookalike that the Catholics seem to think he is.

If the peddlers of these products really call themselves Christians, they should quit adjusting Jesus' likeness and what we know of his beliefs to suit their own commercial purposes - or, at the very least, they should consider what Jesus might think about his mug being plastered all over something Made in China.

I think this is why the whole iconography thing slightly freaks me out - and not just because I now have Jesus and Chums staring down at me from my kitchen wall as I eat my pancakes.