Big Sexy Brain Award

Awards on the Internet are like gold stars in school - the people handing them out aren't necessarily qualified to do so, but it doesn't stop them being really, really awesome to get...

So for that reason, I've decided to award the five smexiest (smart + sexy) blogs on my Blogroll with a We Love Your Big Sexy Brain award.

To qualify for this award, all you have to do is have a big, sexy, pulsating lump of grey matter between your ears - and stimulate ours when we read your blog.

Because Smart = Sexy. Just like a girl who owns her own Harley Davidson, a smart blogger is HOT even if she isn't necessarily hot.

Smexiest Blogs on my Blogroll:

(Un)scripted Sexuality: Sasha was probably the person I originally envisioned this award for, since she's definitely one of the smexiest bloggers out there - and stands head, shoulders and big, ol' sexy brain above her peers in the 'blogs about sexuality and stuff' category.

After all, if you're looking for the worst of the blogosphere, you'll normally find it amongst the blogs about sexuality. All the normal failings of a bad blogger - like infrequent updates, tedious posts and dreary self involvement - are amplified when that particular blogger thinks they're 'edgy' and 'sexy' because they use the word 'fuck' a lot.

Sasha's blog, on the other hand, is sweet and earnest and incredibly thought provoking. Plus it's the smexiest thing of all; interesting. Right now she's studying abroad and it's fascinating reading about her experiences of life in another country - especially since I've made a simultaneous journey in the opposite direction.

So head on over to Sasha's blog. Just be aware that it's kind of adult focused.

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Jo's Haunted Eyeball: I actually know Jo in real life and she's pretty damn smexy in the flesh, too (totally has the Naomi Watts thing from Tank Girl going on) so it's no surprise that her blog really stimulates the old synapses. She writes movie and TV reviews - and they're awesome.

Jo runs the gamut from geeky goddess to cynical critic and whatever your taste in films or movies, you're sure to find her reviewing something that interests you. Her reviews are hysterical, wildly entertaining and just plain smart, so she totally deserves a We Love Your Big Sexy Brain Award.

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The Uneducated Housewife's Guide to Politics: Coffee Bean is a clean living, conservative Christian, so might not be entirely comfortable with the idea of me celebrating her charismatic cranium with a Big Sexy Brain Award.

However, her Uneducated Housewife's Guide was one of the most active and stimulating blogs leading up to the election, in which she pitted libertarian, Democrat, Republican and Conservative against each other to chew up the issues that affected us the most.

What makes Coffee Bean smexy is that she breaks the conservative stereotype and thinks for herself. Both her Uneducated Housewife blog, and her day-to-day blog, are filled with intelligent, thoughtful ponderings in which she does something the hardcore liberals and conservatives are unwilling to do - admit that she doesn't know all the answers. Coffee Bean is an example to all of us and that humbling fact makes her very smexy indeed.

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Pandora Blake: Pandora's blog is definitely adult orientated - in fact, it's about spanking. That being said, she balances the line between saucy and smutty perfectly, so most people would find her blog no more offensive a good Carry On film.

Pandora earns the label 'smexy' because she writes thought-provoking posts as well as sexy ones. Her blog reminds me of classic Playboys from the 1960s: Sure, the pictures are nice - but have you read the articles, too?

From sexuality to psychology, touching on censorship, politics and her personal life, Pandora writes an incredibly intelligent, articulate blog that just happens to have lots of naughty pictures on it! Plus, some excellent examples of her artistic talents, too.

So a well deserved award for her - but be warned: Pandora's blog, despite being no more explicit than a night at the Moulin Rouge, should definitely be considered Not Safe For Work.

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Finally, we come to The Chemist and his Chemical Journey. I know he's a guy, but in accordance with the Captain Jack Harkness Principle, I'm confident enough in myself to admit that he's got a big, ol' sexy brain. In fact, The Chemist is quite extraordinarily well-endowed (brain wise, that is.)

His blog is about chemistry - which he manages to make far smexier than you might imagine. However, he also throws in some pretty inspired posts about politics and the odd laugh-out-loud adventure from his personal life. Definitely a man I'd want on my university challenge team.

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So there we have it - the five smartest, sexiest, smexiest blogs from my blogroll - oh, and don't worry, winners. Unlike most Internet awards, I don't feel compelled to ask you to find five friends and 'pass it on.' After all, that would dilute your smexiness.

Each and every one of you - your well deserved award is below:

Thanking the Academy

My blog has won an award!

Okay, so it might not be as prestigeous as 'Best British Blogger in Britain,' but I'm very proud to have been picked by Brit Gal' in the U.S.A. as a 'Special Scribe.'

Brit Gal' is a fellow UK transplant to the Brave New World - winding up in the windswept beauty of Oklahoma. She very kindly said of this blog:

"Roland's writing is always current, informative, often controversial and very to the point. I may not always agree with his opinions, but they are always well written and interesting."

I'm particularly flattered by the 'to the point' bit, since my wife is always complaining that I dilly-daddle when I'm trying to communicate with her. From now on, I'll give up speaking to her and just hold up a sign referring her to my blog!

Posts along the lines of: 'Dinner is in the oven' or 'I'm going to be late home from work tonight.'

I'd certainly recommend heading over to Brit Gal's Blog. She's always got some great posts going, runs regular competitions and helps educate America with a weekly BWOTD (That's British Word of the Day.)

Sometimes it's more of a 'phrase,' but for anybody interested in the English language (or England's continued abuse of it) it's certainly worth seeing what gems Brit Gal' has dredged up.

Her American experience is also fascinating - very different from mine. I run into Italians in sweat pants and Lincoln Town Cars. She's rubbing shoulders with farmers in tractors. And where she lives, they have tornadoes. Did I mention the tornadoes? I'm pretty sure I did.

Now, having been selected for this wonderful award, protocol demands that I send it along to some of the finest blogs in my 'blogroll.' I have to admit, though, that the whole rose thing is a bit too girly for me, so I have created the Editorial Bear Award for Excellence in Blogging instead. The Dinsey, in the vernacular.

The Editorial Bear Award for Excellence in Blogging, just to make it sound more valid than it perhaps is (since I just made it up) judges blogs on a number of criteria:

• Frequency of Updates - a blog should be updated at least once a week. This unfortunately rules out some truly excellent bloggers I know!


• Actually Writing a Blog - a blog should actually involve well written consideration and discussion. Just posting a news story and writing 'Can U freakin' believe that???' isn't blogging!


• A Brush with Excellence - to be awarded an 'excellence award' you actually have to be excellent at something. A good example is the wonderful Haunted Jo, who unfortunately doesn't update enough for Editorial Bear's liking, but writes astonishingly hilarious and funny reviews which certainly deserve recognition.

I found it VERY tough to selected only five from the many blogs I enjoy. However, the following blogs are really worthy of the Editorial Bear Award for Excellence in Blogging because they do go that extra mile:

Erica Henderson's blog I Fail At Life (That's Why I Became An Artist) is a truly excellent blog. Erica keeps us updated often, with beautiful illustrations, updates on her career as a kick-ass cartoonist and random silliness that is guaranteed to start anybody's day off right. A well deserved winner of The Editorial Bear Award for Excellence in Blogging.

Lisa Bettany probably doesn't need another award for her techie blog Mostly Lisa. She's already received numerous accolades - including being voted '5th Hottest Girl on the Web' by G4's television show 'Attack of the Show.' But her blog is really impressive. It looks great, it's updated often, features beautiful photography and wacky videos and while some of the more technical posts and Apple idolatry are over my head, what she writes is often hysterically funny. Another well deserved winner of The Editorial Bear Award for Excellence in Blogging.

Smells Like Grape is a new addition to my blogroll, but a great one. Taster A and Taster B are wine connoisseurs on a journey of drinking discovery. The best part about their blog is that the two talented tasters aren't 'experts' but 'enthusiasts' and therefore taste an enormous variety of wines, from bargain-bin bottles for under ten bucks to really outstanding wines and brandies. They also make the link between their vinous voyage and suitable foods to accompany each bottle, which makes this blog a treat for foodies (and 'drinkies') everywhere.

One of the sweetest and most beautifully written blogs on the web is Reluctant Memsahib, written by a British expatriate living in the African bush with her adorable daughter Hat. This blog struck an immediate chord with me because my parents used to live in Africa and peeking into Memsahib's life is kind of like peering into the life my parents must have had back in the day. Compared to Mostly Lisa, Reluctant Memsahib's website seems remarkably unflashy - but the quality of Memsahib's writing shines through, she publishes the most beautiful pictures and updates regularly, making her a perfect candidate for the The Editorial Bear Award for Excellence in Blogging.

My final blogger, and the only man on this list, surprisingly, is Dr Ian Hocking. Ian was the first blogger I ever interacted with when I started this blog and has an excellent and intellectual blog which looks absolutely gorgeous - if you have all the bells and whistles on your computer to view it! It's actually a bit too technical for my machine, which steadfastly refuses to load his front page. Nevertheless, I picked Ian's blog because it's consistently intelligently written, thought-provoking and just downright clever. In addition to being a skilled writer, he's got a strong sense of personal brand which is apparent as soon as you visit his blog.

So there you have it. I really wish I could have highlighted far more bloggers from my blogroll. The fact that these five blogs are 'excellent' doesn't mean they're my favourite, or my most often read, or that none of the others are fantastic - because they all are.

I mean, where would by morning blog-about be without catching up with Tequila Mockingbird's drunken exploits, or leggy-lovely Katie's 'Cuppa Joe' blog, featuring her brutal tennis smackdowns and plenty of wiener-on-kitty harassment action. Not a day goes by without visiting arch-leftie Neil Clark or conservative Christian CK and getting fired up by something they wrote (seriously - being moderate gives you a bigger cross section of targets for impotent Internet ire.)

I think all of the bloggers I link to are great and worth a visit - so I hope I haven't offended anybody by leaving them off my list.