Ban the Bloody Bicycle

People know my stance. Four wheels good. Two wheels bad.

If you thought I considered American drivers inconsiderate, they receive just a fraction of the bile I reserve for bicyclists. Whether weaving down the sidewalks of New York City, or knocking pedestrians aside in Oxford, they're all bloody selfish nutcases who cause chaos, disruption and injury wherever they go.

Because they're not burning fossil fuels or pumping money into public transport, the average 'bicycle' commuter has a disgusting sense of pompous self importance. They're saving the world - so they don't care how many people get hurt in the process.

But the problem is, people do get hurt. Every year, hundred of pedestrians and cyclists come a cropper because some git behind the handlebars decided to hop that kerb or skip a red light.

Now personally, I have little problem with bicyclists and motorcyclists rubbing themselves out with their idiotic stunts - but I do have a problem when other people get hurt. This weekend, my sister-in-law on Long Island got run down by a cyclist as she loaded up her car with shopping.

Another selfish bastard, bombing down the tarmac far too fast and smug in the knowledge that the road-traffic laws don't apply to him. Another innocent victim crushed beneath those skinny tyres. This kind of thing happens far too frequently.

Hopefully my sister-in-law will be alright. The cyclist himself seems to be getting off Scot-free. As far as the police are concerned, traffic offenses are only worth prosecution if an internal combustion engine is attached to the vehicle in question.

Which is ridiculous, really.

Take the behaviour of the average cyclist.

• Red light? Carry on going, or get off your bike and 'walk' around the corner.


• Sidewalk, pavements, roads and paths? As long as it's flat, it's a route of access - despite the laws in the UK that say bikes can't mount the pavement.


• Right of way? If the space is three feet wide, a cyclist will 'go for it.' Then the stupid sods wonder why they prang into wing mirrors or get crushed by cars changing lane.

Basically, if they can ride on it, a cyclist will claim it for their own. This leaves the rest of us high and dry.

I say it's high time bicyclists are held to the same standards as other road users and their selfish, abusive behaviour is cracked down on.

I'm sick of idiots on bikes whizzing past me on the pavement: "Get out the f**king way!" or yelling abuse at cars that 'selfishly' pause at traffic lights in front of their route.

I'm sick of the self-important, smug attitude. Sure, riding a bike might be making a minuscule contribution to preventing global warming. It certainly isn't curing cancer, though, and your lane-weaving behaviour ain't doing anything to help the traffic problem, Mate.

If only the idiots on bikes could be more considerate. The High Street at 9am isn't part of the Tour de France. You can swiff along at a fair pace without risking life, limb or the safety of pedestrians. You don't need to play chicken every five minutes with buses and taxis. Just keep at a normal pace and you'll get there sooner than you think.

But the average career bicyclist? They don't care about being considerate. They're just Boy Racers (even the girls) without the souped up Vauxhall Nova.