"A person is smart. People are dumb."Kay (Tommy Lee Jones) Men in Black
If aliens landed on Earth, what would their impression be?
Not very positive, if their landing zone was anywhere near a Subway station during rush hour.
Something about public transport brings out the worst in people. We transform from rational, intelligent beings into selfish, stubborn creatures as soon as we disappear underground.
Humanity has sent man to the moon and split the atom, yet stick sixty of us in a subway car and suddenly we're just animals again. We bustle and nudge aside other passengers on the platform. We desperately try to cram three hundred people into a carriage designed for sixty.
Today, a fat man tried to squeeze himself into the overstuffed compartment of the Uptown E Train, his ample backside squished between the carriage doors. His hefty buttocks were preventing the door from shutting, but he feigned innocence and astonishment when the conductor demanded: "Stand CLEAR of the door, Sir."
Riding twenty blocks uptown wasn't a very pleasant experience. Thank goodness I'm tall. A lot of the shorter people on the train found themselves eye-to-armpit or worse.
But, of course, acting idiotic on public transport is not an American invention. New Yorkers might be thoughtless and selfish as they wage their war against the other commuters, but they know the all-important rule. Don't do anything that might delay the train.
The greatest example of subway stupidity I've witnessed was on the Paris Metro, when the sliding doors simply refused to close because so many people were stuffed into the compartment.
"Move forward!" The conductor demanded. "Make room for the doors to close!"
As the passengers in the compartment breathed in and shuffled forward, they created about six inches of free space for the doors to close. Except before they could, an entire wave of eager passengers stepped off the platform to fill the newly vacated space.
If looks could kill, that conductor would be France's greatest serial killer.
If aliens landed on Earth, what would their impression be?
Not very positive, if their landing zone was anywhere near a Subway station during rush hour.
Something about public transport brings out the worst in people. We transform from rational, intelligent beings into selfish, stubborn creatures as soon as we disappear underground.
Humanity has sent man to the moon and split the atom, yet stick sixty of us in a subway car and suddenly we're just animals again. We bustle and nudge aside other passengers on the platform. We desperately try to cram three hundred people into a carriage designed for sixty.
Today, a fat man tried to squeeze himself into the overstuffed compartment of the Uptown E Train, his ample backside squished between the carriage doors. His hefty buttocks were preventing the door from shutting, but he feigned innocence and astonishment when the conductor demanded: "Stand CLEAR of the door, Sir."
Riding twenty blocks uptown wasn't a very pleasant experience. Thank goodness I'm tall. A lot of the shorter people on the train found themselves eye-to-armpit or worse.
But, of course, acting idiotic on public transport is not an American invention. New Yorkers might be thoughtless and selfish as they wage their war against the other commuters, but they know the all-important rule. Don't do anything that might delay the train.
The greatest example of subway stupidity I've witnessed was on the Paris Metro, when the sliding doors simply refused to close because so many people were stuffed into the compartment.
"Move forward!" The conductor demanded. "Make room for the doors to close!"
As the passengers in the compartment breathed in and shuffled forward, they created about six inches of free space for the doors to close. Except before they could, an entire wave of eager passengers stepped off the platform to fill the newly vacated space.
If looks could kill, that conductor would be France's greatest serial killer.
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