Showing posts with label the bible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the bible. Show all posts

Friday, April 22, 2011

Good Friday, as according to Thomas Jefferson

Good Friday is a Christian religious holiday that marks the cruxification of Jesus and his death on the cross.

It's one of the most important holy days in the Christian faith, since it not only commemorates Jesus 'dying for our sins' but also sets up the celebration of his resurrection the following Sunday.

It's an interesting time of year for me, because as with much of Christian faith, I appreciate the story of Good Friday, but not the superstition surrounding it.

I'm a Christian in that I believe Jesus Christ was a real (albeit mortal) man whose life was at least reflected in the writings of the New Testament - but I'm no "Christian" because I don't believe he was the son of God, I don't believe he "bore our sins in his body" and I certainly don't believe he was resurrected from the dead.

This is an opinion shared by many - including iconic ginger Thomas Jefferson.

Although many ignorant folk celebrate him as a "good Christian American," the second president of this great nation was nothing of the sort.

Although no atheist (he often referenced a higher power, "nature's God" and providence) Thomas Jefferson was definitely no Christian, either - and argued that while there were worthwhile parts of the Gospels, the majority was "the fabric of very inferior minds" and sifting one from the other was like "picking out diamonds from dunghills."

Conservatives will disagree - and cheerfully pluck out-of-context quotes to illustrate Jefferson's supposed Christian faith - but they're wrong.

If you need proof of that, look no further than one of the many remarkable books Thomas Jefferson wrote - the one commonly referred to as "The Jefferson Bible."

The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth was his attempt to rationalize Christian theology with his pragmatic, rational view of the world. To that end, Jefferson carefully consolidated the life of Jesus from the accounts of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and removed from them all reference to prophecies, superstition and anything supernatural.

Basically, it portrayed Jesus as a human philosopher who preached brotherly love, peace and tolerance - and as such, his "bible" ends on Good Friday, when Jesus died on the cross and his body was gently lifted to the ground by Joseph of Arimathaea.

There was no resurrection. There was no ghostly appearance to the disciples in the upper room. He certainly never encountered Paul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus (and that pretty much confirms what I've always suspected - that Paul was a self-serving parasite whose religious sermons had nothing to do with the teachings or beliefs of Jesus.)

Jesus simply died - murdered cruelly and unfairly for preaching peace and understanding. Which, in many ways, makes his death monumentally more significant. That's why I prefer to think of Good Friday as Jefferson did: The closing chapter of Jesus' life; not the foreshadowing of a comic-book style comeback.

The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth ends like this:
Then Joseph of Arimathaea and Nicodemus took they the body of Jesus, and wound it in linen clothes with the spices, as the manner of the Jews is to bury.

Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden; and in the garden a new sepulchre, wherein was never man yet laid.

There laid they Jesus, and rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulchre, and departed.
A poignant end to an important story; and a way to make Christianity relevant even to those of us who don't believe in any of the religious mumbo-jumbo related to it.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Why did 'God' only write one book?


A contributor I shall refer to as 'Siger' piqued my interest by sending me this:
The One Book Author

Many authors are well known for only one book, and many with a best-selling first book never follow it up with another successful one. The best-selling book of all human history is of course the Bible, actually written by many authors over nearly a thousand years. First published after many editorial battles, it is regarded by many as having been actually written by an author referred to as 'God'.

It is strange that after such a successful product, God has not released the sequel for nearly two thousand years.

It could be, as some have surmised, that God is dead. However, others postulate that his alter ego Jesus lives. He, apart from being nearly two thousand years old (an all-time record that would probably be accepted by the Guinness Book of Records) proves difficult to contact except through a method known as 'prayer.'

There must be many publishers eager to know where he lives, his address, telephone and mobile numbers, or whether he is on e-mail - and even if he would be prepared to give interviews or appear on television.

Google gives more than twenty-six million references but does not include any of this information.

Great will be the success of the agent who is able to persuade Jesus to release to the world 'Bible II.' We look forward to the publication.
It raises a very legitimate question.

If God does exist - and if the literal Biblical interpretation of his is accurate - where is he?

In the Bible, he regularly spoke to his children, or appeared in the form of miracles that could not be attested to anything other than divine intervention.

Today, however, he seems absent. 'Miracles' tend to be the domain of The National Enquirer and the only place Jesus seems to be appearing (aside from the lyrics of 85% of Country songs) is on a variety of breakfast produce.

Why did God stop 'writing' two thousand years ago?

I would be fascinated to hear people's opinions.

Monday, November 03, 2008

How should a Christian vote in this election?

This Sunday, our baby Boo had his christening.

Our Reverend's first question when we sat down to discuss the baptism with her was: "Why do you want your son baptised?"

Apparently, the most common answer is: "We don't want him to go to Hell/Purgatory with all the other unbaptized children."

Our answer was simple and pedestrian: We wanted him to be raised with some kind of spirituality, so when he's old enough to make the decision about whether to remain a Christian (like his mum) or become a disbelieving, cynical heathen (like his dad) at least he's had the opportunity to make an informed decision.

I don't believe in God, but that's my decision - not his.

That's very important. Part of the 'problem' with Christianity in America is a whole slew of parents (not all of them, mind you - just some) brainwashing their kids.

A child who is brainwashed into being a Christian, à la that movie 'Jesus Camp,' isn't really a Christian. Part of being a real Christian is actually choosing that path for yourself when you're old enough (and unpressured enough.)

But the years I spent at a theological university (even if I was studying history) weren't entirely wasted and I found much of the discussion we had about the words from the Book of Common Prayer to be fascinating.

During the baptism, we're asked to answer a series of questions on behalf of our son - questions that represent the core beliefs of modern-day Christians. Our son is choosing to become a Christian, and from a practical point of view, these questions give guidance about what that means.

During the crazy election fever, many Christians are trying to consolidate the party they want to vote for with their spiritual beliefs. This really demands they ask themselves: "What are my core spiritual values?"

"What makes me a Christian?"

Yesterday, I was reminded that being a Christian isn't about the redistribution of wealth, or whether a pitbull wears lipstick.

During a baptism, you get asked to follow the most important values of Christianity - and I think a lot of modern so-called Christians have totally lost sight of what those are:

These are onwards from page 300 of your Book of Common Prayer, if you want to read along at home:
  • Do you renounce Satan and all the spiritual forces of wickedness that rebel against God?
Aside from the odd fiddle-player down in Georgia, nobody meets Satan or his demons in the flesh any more.

But Satan doesn't stand for 'evil,' so much as stubbornness and arrogance. Satan refused to submit himself appropriately to the Lord's will (remember, God grants 'free will,' yet punishes those who actually exercise that freedom.)

Renouncing Satan and his spiritual forces means renouncing pride and arrogance, which poison a good Christian's meek, humble service of God.

America is currently full of people who've forgotten this concept.

If I believed in something like Satan, I'd think he would be in hog heaven right now. He's had a President and a Prime Minister arrogantly equate their belief in God to their actions in Iraq.

He's got millions of Americans stuffed full of pride and arrogance, believing that they're spreading 'God's' message at home and abroad, when, in fact, they're spreading their own.
  • Do you renounce the evil powers of this world which corrupt and destroy the creatures of God?
This question is a very important one, because it addresses the real, physical, manifestations of evil on the earth - the actions of people and businesses that directly stand against what a Christian believes in.

This could be unethical business practices, like those Wal-Mart get involved in. It could be the evil practices of a political entity, deliberately misleading a country in order to justify a war (and both bearing false witness and going unnecessarily to war are grave sins.)

Issues like abortion fit here - and before any readers click their fingers and announce: "Ah ha, this means I must vote Republican!" think about how all the parties approach issues of an 'evil' like abortion.

I've often said that the right wing has become so proud and arrogant fighting against practical attempts to reduce abortions (like advocating non-explicit sex education) that the pro-life movement has become more about politics than actually eliminating the demand for abortions. Abortion is just an excuse to push an agenda.

There are other 'unGodly' practices that many so-called Christians put up with because they are convenient, profitable or just the status-quo (which all Conservatives, by their very definition, fight to maintain.)
  • Do you renounce all sinful desires that draw you from the love of God?
This is another very important, relevant question for modern Christians to consider.

Our Reverend gave practical examples of sinful desires that draw a person away from God. Things like addiction to drugs or alcohol [I notice you put didn't put down your glass of Sauvignon Blanc when you wrote that, Roland - Editorial Bear] but it made me immediately think of some people I've been spending time with lately who spend their entire time judging other people.

You are a bad friend/sibling/parent because you do this. You should do this. I will only accept you if you change this about yourself.

Jesus was pretty damn explicit about this kind of behavior, yet from my experience, so-called Christians remain the most judgemental souls on this wretched planet.
  • Do you put your whole trust in [Jesus Christ's] grace and love?
When I read this, it made me think of something I learned in university - you should put your whole trust in Jesus to look after and protect you, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't look both ways before crossing the street!

Likewise, why is it that Christians are amongst the most outspoken about issues like Global Warming? Jesus helps those who help themselves, so maybe by providing us with decades of empirical evidence to support the warming of the Earth, our friend JC is just pointing out that we should get off our collective asses and do something about it, instead of blithely burying our heads in the sand.
  • Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbor as yourself?

This is the most troubling of all the questions we were to be asked. Why? Because I honestly don't believe the Christian right-wing continue to do this. Our Reverend gave us an excellent example - somebody who goes to prison and becomes a Christian there.

Thing about being a Christian isn't just having a baptism - getting a stamp on your hand that read "Heaven: Accept One." It's about believing in Jesus and his message. As long as you do that, earnestly from your heart, the Bible is absolutely explicit that you will enter heaven.

So that means child killers and rapists and murders are just as eligible for heaven as anybody else - and it's up to Christians to recognize and accept that fact. That's why the Christian right promoting capital punishment, for example, is so troubling. They might yell "those killers will burn in hell!" but, if you believe in the Bible, they won't. They'll be right there in heaven with them.

If you are open to recognizing Christ in all people, you should be absolutely against ending another human life, however wretched and undeserving it may be.

  • Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?

It was this question that made me think, looking at the big picture, that a true Christian should probably vote Democrat in this election, rather than Republican.

Because the Republican party, in my mind, does not currently strive for justice or peace.

Peace? Well, they started a war on false grounds in a foreign country. Politically, strategically and economically it might have made sense - but it was an unprovoked war, unrelated to the War on Terror, that cost the lives of thousands of American troops and tens of thousands of Iraqi soldiers and civilians (remember, we should be 'recognizing Christ' in all people, not allowing them to become 'collateral damage' just because they're Muslims.)

Justice? What a farce. The Patriot Act trampled on American's constitutional rights. Guantanamo Bay crushed the rights our Declaration of Independence says are 'inalienable.' Bush's tax policies redistributed as much wealth as Obama seeks to (just in the wrong direction.)

The Republican Party needs a four or eight year break so they can look themselves in the eye and figure out just what justice really is.

And, finally, there's the most important part of that question - how a good Christian should 'respect the dignity of every human being.'

The human beings who need that dignity the most are the ones who have it the least. People on the bottom rung of society. The ones who can't afford or aren't eligible for health care, who can't get a job, or live on the streets.

The Republican party is against helping those who lack the resources to help themselves. To quote brilliant, but (in my mind) occasionally misguided politico The Other Sarah, "It is not the job of the government to give handouts and to reward people for being poor. Welfare, in all it’s forms, should be abolished."

No. Welfare shouldn't be abolished. It should just be restructured in order to give people a leg-up towards supporting themselves. Having the dignity of making their own way, instead of surviving on handouts that the Republicans try to abolish.

This is why I believe the reforms Obama is suggesting, which some people incorrectly think are 'socialism,' wind up being far more 'Christian' in nature than those of the Republicans.

Sometimes, it seems like the Republican policy is: "Screw everybody else, it's every man for himself here." And that might be very American and that might be kind of pragmatic, but it sure as hell isn't very Christian.

Let's hope the millions of so-called Christians who helped vote George Bush* into office - twice - take the time to reexamine their beliefs before tomorrow. If they're truly voting for a more Christian America, than they're making a huge mistake supporting John McCain.

* And just for the record, in 2004, when I saw still achristian (although not a very good one) I fully supported George Bush, as I found John Kerry's campaign to be based around the single misnomer: "Vote for me, I'm NOT Bush."


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Evolution Prologue

During the Cenozoic Era, the chickens would fry you!

The reason I started my scientific shenanigans was due to enraged arguments I'd been having with some particularly stubborn Christians over on An Uneducated Housewife's Guide to Politics.

The argument was about evolution - something I grew up being taught was a 'theory' only in the same way gravity was a theory.

There is a mountain of evidence proving that evolution was the journey life on Earth took. Yet in America, I'm astonished to find that millions of people don't believe in evolution - and some of them even adhere to the six day 'creation story' from the Bible!

Over on Coffee Bean's blog, things have got pretty heated. One woman dismissed evolution as an "outlandish claim" and another chap claimed: "There is not one fossil that has ever been discovered that supports Darwin's theory. Not a single one on the entire earth!"

Well, that's just rubbish.

So what I'm going to do it tell the story of life on Earth, as I've come to understand it - based on the evidence presented to me.

As I've said before, I'm not a scientist. I might muddle a few things up on the way - but at least what I'll present will be based on science and fact, not the pages of a storybook written two thousand years ago.

How old is the Earth?

Some Christians believe the world is about 6,000 years old, in accordance with the creation doctrine outlined in the Bible.

These people are wrong.

The world is actually about four and a half billion years old.

Why do I believe this?

Well, I'm not scientist - but if I go to a museum, I can see rocks that are 3.9 billion years old. Some of these rocks contain minerals that are up to 4.2 billion years old.

If the Earth consists of rocks that are over four billion years old, the Earth itself must be at least that old.

But how do we know how old these rocks are?

Through a system called 'radiometric dating.'

Although the science of radiometric dating is very complicated, the concept of it isn't. It's based around measuring how much the radioactive isotopes in the object being dated have decayed.

The principle's much like a candle: Take a ten inch high candle made of wax. If you light that candle and leave it for an hour, it will burn one inch of wax in that time.

Therefore, if you opened a door and found and same type of candle burning, but seven inches of it were melted, you'd know that it had been burning for seven hours.

With radiometric dating, you take a rock and measure how much of the radioactive isotope within it has decayed. Based on the rate that type of radioactive isotope normally decays, you can work out the approximate age of the rock based on the result.

Scientists have found minerals on the Earth that they can prove, conclusively, are 4.2 billion years old. Therefore, the world is at least that old.

B-b-but....?

Some Christians argue that the world is not four and a half billion years old. It's actually six thousand years old, like the Bible said.

They have two common theories to 'support' this:

1: Radiometric dating is inaccurate. Since the science doesn't support their belief, the science must be wrong. This is a fine theory, except it's not true and isn't based on any factual evidence whatsoever. Just because you don't like something doesn't mean you can make it 'not true' by refusing to accept it.

Radiometric dating is just as real and observable as the wax candle I mentioned. We know that this hypothetical candle burns down one inch in one hour. Therefore, if it had burnt down seven inches, it must have been lit seven hours earlier. If you can explain how that candle could have burnt any faster (yet keep your answer within the boundaries of scripture) you might have a shot at convincing me about radiometric dating.

2: God created the Earth 'as is.' Some Christians argue that God did create the world six thousand years ago - except he created it to appear as if it was four and a half billion years old. That's a fine theory too, except it trips up.

First off, if God exists, WHY did he make the world appear older than it was?

Secondly, if God had the power to create an 'already old' world six thousand years ago, how do we know he didn't create the world (and all our memories) five seconds ago? Like the best irrational theories, this one can be neither proven nor disproved - but ultimately belongs more in the realms of philosophy than science.

Conclusion

The only rational conclusion, based on the evidence, is that the world has to be at least over four billion years old.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Abortion, Morality and the Bible

Biblical Scholars are, essentially, lawyers.

They study scripture, rather than bills of law, but the basic concept is the same. Both lawyers and biblical scholars arrive at predetermined conclusions and then cherry pick scripture or law to support their position.

This leads to stupid situations in which one set of Christians say one thing, while another set say something completely contradictory. Both argue that the Bible supports their position!

Often the only positions all Christians can agree on have no basis in scripture whatsoever. An excellent example of this is abortion.

Abortion is a topic all Christians seem united against, yet their position has very little basis in Biblical scripture whatsoever.

Never Mind What the Bible Says

I can see why the pro-life movement think abortion is wrong - when my wife was pregnant, we went to the doctor and had an ultrasound scan - and there was a baby, with a head, arms, legs and everything! And he moved! And wiggled!

This was at about 12 weeks - and even thought the baby was on the 'inside,' it was still clearly a little person. So as far as I'm concerned, an abortion at that stage would be killing a little baby.

Science and medicine is advancing so fast that the upper limit for abortions is meeting the lower limit for successfully delivering a premature baby. Clearly, it's wrong to abort a healthy fetus if it was developed enough to have survived outside the womb.

As science progresses, so to will the stage at which a premature baby can be born. We might end up 'growing' babies in test tubes from beginning to end, so it's deeply troubling to think that a 12 week old baby might be considered a constitutionally protected American citizen if he's lying in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, but would be considered 'fair game' for the abortionist if he was left inside the womb.

What does the Bible say?

"Jewish law is quite clear in its statement that an embryo is not reckoned a viable living thing (in Hebrew, bar kayama) until thirty days after its birth. One is not allowed to observe the Laws of Mourning for an expelled fetus. As a matter of fact, these Laws are not applicable for a child who does not survive until his thirtieth day." Rabbi Balfour Brickner

Abortionist is presumably the second oldest profession, stemming from the need created by the first.

There were abortionists practicing their trade even back in the Biblical days - and the Bible itself has a very pragmatic approach to the subject.

Pro-life Christians generally use one passage, Jeremiah 1:5, to support the position that the Bible says abortion is wrong. In that passage, God tells David:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

Pro-life Christians argue that this is proof that God considers an embryo, within the womb, to be one of his subjects and a human soul - therefore, aborting would be murder.

However, this argument is flawed for numerous reasons.

Firstly, God tells David he knew him 'before I formed you in the womb.' So that means that David's 'soul' existed BEFORE his egg was even fertilized.

Secondly, God was talking about David specifically - not all unborn children. David had a very important destiny, so God had chosen him and 'knew him' for a reason.

As for the rest of the unborn Biblical children? Well, the old testament is very clear on the subject.

A baby wasn't considered to be 'a person' until a full thirty days after birth.

Numbers 3:15 shows that babies younger than 30 days were not counted in a census (presumably because infant mortality was so high in those days.)

Abortion was openly practised and condoned in the Biblical days, since a fetus was not considered a human being. That belief is consistent throughout the Bible.

For example, a man who murdered a pregnant woman was only held responsible for her death, not the death of her unborn child. In Genesis 38, Judah even orders Tamar to be burned at the stake, despite the fact that she was pregnant with twins.

In Numbers 5, God himself curses unfaithful wives to have abortions - and it's one of his priests who serves the 'bitter waters' that cause a miscarriage.

When the Bible was written, nobody could conceive of test-tube babies or Neonatal Intensive Care. Most pregnancies failed, or children died a few weeks after being born. That's why the Bible didn't consider babies 'people' until they'd been born and lived long enough to have a fair crack at life itself.

The Bible even admits that God first formed Adam from the dust of the ground - and only then did he give him the breath of life, turning man into a living soul.

If you consider that to be an allegorical account of pregnancy, it suggests that the first seven months are devoted to constructing the organs and body and only by the eighth month does the fetus display 'consciousness' and become a person.

There is no ambiguity. The Bible itself does not consider life to begin at the moment of conception. It's only science and rationality that has cultivated that belief.

Right for the Wrong Reasons?

I believe the religious right are wrong on several issues - like opposing equality for gay people. An awful lot of bigoted nonsense is justified by a few misinterpreted passages from the Bible. Abortion, however, is not one of those issues.

I might not entirely agree with the pro-life crowd (I think banning abortion would be a disaster) but I can see their point in fighting abortion - and I share their beliefs enough to know that abortion is not a choice I'd be willing to make.

I just find it uncomfortably ironic that the book many pro-lifers believe in, the old testament, is actually one of the most astoundingly 'pro-choice' documents ever written!

Thank goodness that we live in a secular society! If we lived under Bible law, people wouldn't just be having abortions right up until the moment they give birth - there'd be a loophole allowing them to murder their newborns if they changed their mind about being a parent within the first thirty days!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Thomas Jefferson on The Bible


"The whole history of these books [the Gospels] is so defective and doubtful that it seems vain to attempt minute enquiry into it: and such tricks have been played with their text, and with the texts of other books relating to them, that we have a right, from that cause, to entertain much doubt what parts of them are genuine."

"In the New Testament there is internal evidence that parts of it have proceeded from an extraordinary man; and that other parts are of the fabric of very inferior minds. It is as easy to separate those parts, as to pick out diamonds from dunghills."

Thomas Jefferson, letter to John Adams, January 24, 1814

The Bible as Literature

My recent tongue-in-cheek post about the Bible resulted in a couple of emails and a blog comment.

One acknowledged that I 'didn't mean any harm' by my post, another implied that my reference to the contradictions, discrepancies and inaccuracies in the Bible 'reveal a lack of understanding of the work.'

It's the second statement I disagree with. This is a very common response from people who don't agree with my particular take on the Bible and the context of what's written within it - but I went to a theological university (albeit to study history) and took classes on the history and origins of the Bible.

I think this puts me in a better position to discuss it than a certain sect of the Christian community, whose 'knowledge' of the Bible stems from them reading their own particular English translation of the Bible and discussing it amongst themselves.

There is an important difference between 'studying the Bible' (in which one learns about the documentary history of the Bible, the historical and political influences that effected it's development and the context in which it was written) and 'Bible studies.' Reading four chapters of the Bible every day does not give you a better understanding of it.

The fact is, each of the 21 English-language translations of the Bible are riddled with inconsistencies, contradictions and inaccuracies. Even ignoring the internal inaccuracies, it's difficult to reconcile how one translation of the Bible (such as the popular King James) is often in contradiction with another (such as the Revised Standard Bible.)

I've written quite extensively about it here - The Bible and Star Wars.

It doesn't have to be a big deal. The inaccuracy of the Bible shouldn't be a question of faith.

For example, I'm an atheist and I still believe that the Bible contains many historical and philosophical truths. Catholics and Episcopalians still believe that Jesus was the son of God and died for our sins - yet they're willing to accept that the story of creation was allegorical and the actual birth of mankind follows what scientific study has taught us.

[You should listen to the Catholics, guys. When it comes to The Bible, they wrote the book. Literally. - Editorial Bear.]

The problem arises when fundamentalist evangelicals - and yes, I'm sorry I'm always ragging on you - try to claim that the Bible isn't inaccurate. It's not allegorical. It's literal fact and it's the infallible word of God.

I simply find it astonishing - mind boggling - that we live in the early years of the 21st century (man has split the atom, sent men to the moon and harnessed the power of DNA) yet there are millions of people in the United States who honestly believe that the world is 7,000 years old and God made Eve out of one of Adam's ribs (what was she? Six inches tall?)

But I've discussed this particular troubling issue many, many times over and generally reached the same impasse. They tell me: "If the facts don't agree with our belief system, then the facts are wrong." There's very little point discussing it further.

"It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. What is important? What you want to be true, or what is true?" Stephen Colbert

Riddle Me This...

Assuming for a second that the Bible is the infallible word of God and the copy you've got sitting in your bookcase (let's say it's the Revised Standard Bible) is entirely 100% accurate (even if it has several inconsistencies with your neighbour's King James Bible) could you answer me these questions? I'll make them multiple choice, to keep things easy.

Let's look at some of the attitudes and inspirations behind Christian faith first.

God is...
  1. ...love, which is not jealous or boastful
  2. ...a jealous God, who will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins and will turn and do you hurt, and consume you

The Bible's attitudes towards feminism are:

  1. Progressive. "There is no such thing as male and female, for you are all one person in Christ Jesus."
  2. Chauvinistic. "Women should keep silent. They have no permission to talk. If there is something they want to know, they can ask their husbands at home."

What was God's attitude to enemies and war?

  1. He was an old softy! "Love your enemies and pray for your persecutors. There must be no limit to your goodness, as your heavenly Father's goodness knows no bounds."
  2. He was a vicious old bastard. "Go now, fall upon them! Destroy them! Spare no one; put them all to death, men and women, children and babes in arms, herds and flocks, camels and donkeys!"
If that hasn't confused you, let's have a look at some of the purely factual evidence regarding certain events (like Christ's Crucifixion.)

After Judas betrayed him, following the Last Supper, which of the Jewish authorities decided whether to hand Jesus Christ over to Pontius Pilate or not?
  1. Jesus is placed on trial in front of the whole Sanhedrin.
  2. There's no trial. The Sanhedrin merely hold an inquiry to decide.
  3. There isn't even an inquiry. Jesus only appears before Annas and Caiphas.
When Jesus is arrested, how does he tell his disciples to react?
  1. Non-violently. "Those who take up the sword shall perish by the sword," he warns them.
  2. Aggressively. "Whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one!"
  3. He doesn't say a thing. He's too busy getting arrested.
After betraying Jesus, Judas Iscariot...
  1. Gave back the money he'd been bribed and hung himself.
  2. Kept the money, fell over and died after his intestines randomly fell out.
The answer to all of the questions is 'all of the above.'

These are just a tiny handful of the hundreds of blatant contradictions contained within the Bible, ranging from major theological issues (is homosexuality a sin? Or does Jesus condone it?) to some mundane, but important facts (Luke says Joseph and Mary lived in Nazareth, while Matthew implied they lived in Bethlehem.)

I've said it once. I ought to say it again. The fact that the Bible is a deeply flawed and inaccurate document does not stop it being an enormously important book - nor diminish the message of faith it contains. However, it is not the infallible word of God, as certain evangelicals would like to believe. It's not even the infallible word of man.

In the course of the Bible's long journey to your bookshelf, the real events that inspired it have been significantly warped, manipulated, misquoted and fictionalized. The worst of that damage has been done in the last century or so - when dozens of forthright and opinionated 'translators' delivered their own 'versions' of the King James Bible, using creative licence to insert their own religious agendas in amongst the so called 'words of God.'

There are no less than 21 different English translations of the Bible. You can see that list here. What troubles me more than any of the inconsistencies within the scriptures itself are the discrepancies between one edition of the 'English Language Bible' and another.

One Bible translates something one way. Another translates it different. This website allows you to take a specific passage from the Bible and compare each of the 21 translations against each other. Before anybody claims that 'the Bible' is the infallible word of God, they should take their favourite passage and see how different it appears in other versions.

Which one is the 'infallible word of God?'

None of them. And the sooner the evangelical movement accept that faith in God doesn't require slavish devotion to a flawed religious text, the sooner we can all embrace rationality and reason, instead of cynical superstition.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

America's favourite read...

A recent Harris Poll has revealed America's favorite books - and there are some surprises.

The top choices were largely American classics, such as Gone with the Wind, Catcher in the Rye and To Kill a Mockingbird. A surprising choice - number two for most 32 to 43 year olds - was the American folktale The Stand by Stephen King. I recently read that book (even though King wrote it in the early seventies) and thought it was a breathtaking work of enormous depth (despite being stuck in the 'horror' shelf at your local library.)

I was disappointed, but not surprised by the universal first choice. An old foreign book, it's been on sale for seemingly forever. Technically, I think it only won because all 21 (at last count) English translations were taken into account (even though they're all translated wildly differently, some editions being entirely different books to other copies.)

It's written in a very old fashioned way and incredibly poorly edited - there are glaring contradictions between the various sections of the book and huge plot holes. By today's standards, it's misogynistic and racist and some people even claim it's wildly homophobic. It features more rape, murder, incest, adultery and hate-speech than any book currently in print. Yet, it's America's favourite.

I'm talking, of course, about The Bible.

Apparently based on a true story, the Bible does take some wild liberties with actual historical events and is a bit preachy at times (pushing some very odd values, as well.) Yet because of all the sordid stories contained within it (for example, two daughters, who conspire to seduce their father in order to produce children) it's difficult not to get caught up in it - even despite the incredibly pretentious and sometimes incomprehensible writing style.

The only thing I find surprising is that such a controversial book, chock-full of sex and scandal, hasn't been banned yet! In fact, some families even encourage their kids to read it!

Pretty shocking stuff.

The Bible is available from all good bookstores, Churches and the top drawer of most hotel nightstands. Due to the explicit content contained within, the Bible is not suitable for children under the age of 18.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Why do Christians hate Gay People?

“Texas senator John Cornyn’s argument against gay marriage is: ‘If your neighbor marries a box turtle, it doesn’t affect your everyday life. But that doesn’t make it right.’ Now, I myself was not a psychology major, but after hearing that, I think it’s safe to assume that at one point or another, Senator Cornyn must have thought about making love to a box turtle.” Aziz Ansari, New York comedian.

Have you ever wondered why the fundamentalist Christian right-wing of America is so obsessed with gay people?

I mean, they're totally obsessed with homosexuality. It's one of the cornerstones of evangelical politics. It inspires more bile than pretty much anything else - and more bullshit. I recently read about a so-called 'Homosexual Agenda' on a right-wing site. It makes gay people sound more like the proponents of a 'new world order' than fellas who dig other fellas.

You've got to wonder where this obsession stems from. Personally, I believe it's all Freudian. After all, it's a commonly held belief that homophobia - which translates as fear, rather than hatred of gay people - often stems from a homophobic person's denial and repression of their own homosexual impulses.

Which makes sense when you take outspoken pastor Ted Haggard, who was voted one of the most influential evangelical preachers in the United States for his determined stance against gay marriage and homosexuality in general.

He once stated; "homosexual activity, like adulterous relationships, is clearly con­demned in the Scriptures." This was shortly before he was revealed to have been involved in a three-year long homosexual relationship with a male prostitute.

Or Paul Barnes, founder of Grace Chapel in Colorado. Despite preaching about how homosexuality was an unnatural sin condemned by scripture, he confessed in December 2006: "I have struggled with homosexuality since I was a 5-year-old boy. . . ."

It seems wherever you look, more and more outspoken critics of homosexuality are proving the stereotype right by admitting their own uncertain sexuality.

The Christian Position

If you ask a fundamentalist Christian why they hate gay people, you'll generally hear the same list of arguments.

  1. It's unnatural.
  2. It's unhealthy.
  3. It's considered a sin by the scripture of the Bible.

That's what Christians CLAIM is the basis for their dislike of homosexuality and public acceptance of a gay lifestyle - things like gay marriage (or civil partnerships) and the right for gay people to adopt.

However, on even the briefest examination of their arguments, it's clear to see the Christian anti-homosexual agenda is simply riddled with holes.

Let's examine the arguments:

1: Homosexuality is unnatural.

I'm not sure what the criteria for 'unnatural' is, but homosexuality is rife in nature. National Geographic and Wikipedia have lists of literally hundreds of mammals who have been observed engaging in same-sex activity.

Bonobo monkeys are an excellent example, with 100% of researched animals involving themselves in homosexual or bisexual relationships with other Bonobo monkeys.

Considering that a record 1,500 species of animals have been recorded displaying homosexual behaviour, the argument that homosexuality isn't a normal, everyday part of nature's rich tapestry falls utterly flat.

Of course, some Christians refute this logical argument on the grounds that they believe mankind did not evolve from animals. If mankind is not evolved from monkeys, why should we emulate their behavior by tolerating homosexual behaviour in society?

This is a rather contradictory argument, however. If you're going to distance mankind from the animals from which we evolved (or not, depending on your beliefs) it's suddenly so much harder to claim that homosexuality is 'unnatural.'

Homosexuality is entirely natural in the wild, so in order to claim it's 'unnatural' in mankind is to hold humanity to a different standard than nature. In that case - who has the authority to argue that homosexuality is or isn't 'natural' in polite, civilized homosapien society?

Like most Christian arguments, it all circles back to the Good Book. Nature itself might not say that homosexuality is 'unnatural,' but the Bible apparently does. In that regard, the Christian right-wing has already surrendered this first position against homosexuality by falling back on their third argument.

2. It's unhealthy.

Mike Huckabee, the most conservative Republican candidate for the White House, proudly declared: "Homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk."

He's talking, of course, about AIDS.

When AIDS and HIV first arrived on the scene, in the early eighties, it was often thought of as a 'gay' disease. It ran rampant through the gay community in the United States and while the heterosexual infection rate is now higher than amongst the gay community, it's still a disease that's often considered part of the homosexual lifestyle.

The fact that AIDS is still a hotly discussed issue within the gay community encourages conservatives to argue that it's proof that homosexuality is an unhealthy and unnatural lifestyle. Condoning homosexuality, as far as they're concerned, puts everybody at risk from infection.

Certainly, in the early days of the AIDS crisis, this argument carried some weight. The heterosexual community was generally only exposed to AIDS and HIV when a blood-doner gave tainted blood (infecting the recipient) or a man on the 'Down Low' maintained heterosexual relationships while at the same time engaging in clandestine homosexual encounters.

With much more being known about AIDS and HIV these days, those risks are reduced. Blood screening has practically eliminated the risk of infection via transfusion and a growing acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle has reduced the number of men who feel pressured to repress their natural inclinations and live 'double lives' (except in the religious community, examples being Ted Haggard and Paul Barnes.)

These days, it's fairly clear that the major infection risk somebody with AIDS poses is if you sleep with them. This makes the fervent outbursts of Ted Haggard that much more duplicitous. When he was preaching about the health risks of homosexuality and what a risk it posed to the community, it was clearly because he was exposing himself to that risk and he was scared.

The Christian condemnation of the homosexual lifestyle actually exposes more people to risk. As Barnes and Haggard illustrate, men who feel pressured to hide their true sexuality often maintain heterosexual relationships in public and have homosexual encounters in private.

Religion prevents these men being able to live their desired lifestyle - and in maintaining a straight 'front' they're exposing their wives to the very same health risks they protest against.

3: It's considered a sin by the scripture of the Bible.

This is where the Christian argument falls back to during every engagement. The Bible apparently says that homosexuality is a sin - and therefore should not be condoned.

While the scriptural argument might be the cornerstone of the Christian position on homosexuality, it's not a very good one. Even before you actually examine the evidence contained within the Bible, you have to consider a very important question:

The Bible apparently says that homosexuality is a sin. But so what?

UnAmerican

Because America is not a Christian society. Sure, the United States might have been founded on Christian principles, but at least two of the founding fathers were confirmed atheists and since the foundation of America, the demographic has broadened to include Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Seiks and Muslims.

What unifies the people of America is not the Bible, but the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution - and they say nothing on the subject of homosexuality.

In fact, the first line of the Declaration of Independence is:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."

During the Civil Rights movement, the right of a person to have a consensual, monogamous, long term relationship with another human being was constitutionally protected by 'the pursuit of happiness' in the 1967 Supreme Court Case Loving vs. Virgina. In that case, it was an interracial relationship - but the precedent was set.

Christians can legitimately argue that the word 'marriage' refers only to a man and a women. But allowing two people of the same gender to have an officially mandated civil partnership with each other - offering the same protections, benefits and standing as a heterosexual marriage - is quite clearly the constitutional right of every American couple who decide to live that way.

If a Christian believes their values are truly in conflict with the Constitution, they have to ask themselves: Which are you? A Christian or an American?

The two don't have to be mutually exclusive - but many fundamentalist Christians choose to make them that way. It's evident in the political positions they take regarding homosexuality.

Fundamentalist Christians either want to appoint right-wing, conservative Supreme Court Justices who will ignore the precedent set by Loving vs. Virginia, or they lobby to change to Constitution itself to include the rule that marriage is 'between a man and a woman.'

The fact that the Christian right wing cannot support their own position without manipulating or amending the Constitution illustrates just how conflicted it is with the spirit of American society.

Inaccurate

But moving on, it's time to examine the Bible itself and see exactly what it says about homosexuality.

Now I've often found discussing such issues with fundamentalist Christians to be difficult. As far as many Christians are concerned, they know the Bible better than any non-believer and often dismiss any notion of discussing the subject with somebody who hasn't already taken their blinkered position on the subject.

But that's just an arrogant statement - and incorrect. For one thing, the ability to quote every line of the Good News Bible does not make you a Biblical scholar. Most fundamentalist Christians are only familiar with the Bible they use in Church and in Bible study. They argue that this is the entirely accurate, heavenly inspired Word of God.

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness." 2 Timothy 3:16

But it's not. It's a very long way away from that.

The Good News Bible or King James Bible is merely an English translation of a Biblical anthology. It MUST be considered as such. If anybody has learned a second language and done translation work, they must know that there are several different ways of translating something and to believe that any English-language translation of the Bible is 100% accurate is to assume that the original translators were as divinely blessed as the Bible's original authors.

Take some of the translation problems Biblical scholars encounter. In one example, in Matthew 5:22, the Revised Standard Bible says Jesus warns people: "Whoever insults his brother, he must answer for it in court."

The King James Bible translates this somewhat more closely to the original Koine Greek text, which comes out as: "That whosoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Racha, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire."

The King James Bible used the word 'Racha' as one of the insults Jesus warns against using. At that time, no translation for the word could be found - so the term was left untranslated. However, a more recent study of ancient Hebrew and contemporary Greek indicates that the word 'Racha. was synonymous with the Hebrew term "rakh" - which indicates a man of weak, effeminate and homosexual appearance. Historian Warren Johansson equated to the common anti-gay slur 'faggot.'

So therefore, in the original Matthew 5:22, Jesus warns his followers not to make fun of men of effeminate or gay appearance. He specifically uses that term. Hardly supporting the traditional anti-gay position Christians take, is it?

The Christian Argument

When it comes to scriptural evidence condemning homosexuality, Christians are largely wise enough to ignore the Old Testament. Although the Old Testament position on homosexuality was explicit - so were positions on a variety of other things, which are incompatible with a modern Christian lifestyle.

For example, Leviticus 18:22 says: “And with a man you shall not lie with as a man lies with a woman; it is an abomination."

However, according to Leviticus, it is an equal 'abomination' to eat shellfish, pork or rabbit, so considering even fundamentalist Christians enjoy a good pork chop or shrimp cocktail, you can't base an argument against homosexuality on Leviticus. That would just be hypocritical.

Instead, Christians argue that the New Testament provides ample evidence that Christianity condemns homosexuality. Although this isn't entirely accurate.

In actual fact, there are only two explicit references to homosexuality in the New Testament, both appearing in the Pauline epistles.

That in itself is interesting. Paul the Apostle did not actually know Jesus. He didn't actually know anybody who knew Jesus. In fact, he claims to have received the Gospel from a vision of the resurrected Jesus while traveling on the road to Damascus.

Therefore, even assuming the translations of Pauline epistles appearing in the King James Bible or Good News Bible are remotely close to the original texts, it's worth noting that by historical standards, Paul's gospel is anecdotal at best.

In Epistle to the Romans 1:26-27 , Paul wrote:

"Because of this [idolatry], God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error."

In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Paul says:

"Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor practicing homosexuals nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

There are two major issues with accepting these two references to homosexuality as absolute proof that it was condemned in the Bible.

First off, it was Paul speaking, not Jesus. Paul the Apostle is not God. Paul the Apostle is not Jesus. In fact, Paul hadn't even met Jesus. Therefore, it seems entirely contradictory to base a scriptural argument against homosexuality purely on the words of a man other than Jesus.

Especially since the only reference Jesus himself made about homosexuality in the entire New Testament was to condemn people who insult men who were 'Racha' or seemingly homosexual.

Apart from that, Jesus doesn't say a thing about homosexuality - and considering just how important the issue is amongst modern-day fundamentalist Christians, I find it very troubling that the spokesman of their entire religion had nothing to say on the subject.

Secondly, Paul's comments are in themselves contradictory to the Christian faith. The basic philosophy of Christianity is that anybody can inherit the Kingdom of God as long as they accept Jesus. Absolutely anybody regardless of the sins they have committed.

Evidence of this comes from a far more accurate source than Paul's epistles. Both Luke and Matthew recount the last hours of Jesus' life, in which he spoke to two thieves crucified to the left and right of him by the Romans.

The 'Good Thief' accepted being crucified; "for we receive the due reward of our deeds." But he recognized Jesus as the son of God and asked: "Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom." Jesus responded: "Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise." Luke 23:39-43.

And THAT'S the basis of Christianity. That anybody - regardless of what they've done throughout their life - will be welcomed into heaven as long as they accept Jesus.

So when Paul pompously argues that gays and drunkards won't 'inherit the Kingdom of God' then he's contradicting none other than Jesus himself. I personally believe Paul is arrogantly pontificating his own beliefs using Jesus' name to give himself credibility.

After all, if you believe Corinthians 6:9-10 condemns homosexuality, it also equally condemns drunkenness, talking about somebody behind their back and even obesity (...nor the greedy...)

And anybody who's spent any time around fundamentalist Christians will realize that excommunicating all two-faced gossipers would leave the Churches pretty empty.

The Pauline epistles are simply flawed - from both a historical and a scriptural basis. Therefore, inarguably, using them as evidence in the argument against homosexuality leaves that position equally flawed. Jesus never condemned homosexuality. That's a fact, documented beyond any reasonable doubt within the Bible.

Let's Get Real

Having examined the flaws in the fundamentalist position, it's worth taking a step back at looking at the big picture. The anti-gay argument is seriously flawed. Only in the narrowest, most blinkered interpretation of scripture is it possible to determine that homosexuality is condemned in the Bible (although not by Jesus himself.)

That raises the question: Why are fundamentalist Christians SO vehemently opposed to accepting homosexuality?

I believe the answer to that one lies in recent history.

Man & Woman?

Currently, the major sticking point Christians are unwilling to budge on is the subject of gay marriage. Not just the term 'marriage,' but the idea of offering same-sex couples in committed relationships the same legal protection married couples have.

It's rather alarming to look back just forty years to see a similar position being upheld in the southern United States - protesting marriage between the races.

During the first half of the 20th century, all across the United States, there were laws enacted to separate black people from white. They went to different schools, rode different buses and even drank out of different water fountains. Top of the list of 'racial crimes' was an interracial marriage between a white person and a black one.

In 1967, Loving vs. Virginia was a hotly contested court case that saw a black woman marry a white man in the District of Columbia (as was allowed in the American capital.) When the married couple moved back to their home state of Virginia, a grand jury issued an indictment against the couple as they'd married in violation of Virginia's segregation laws.

On sentencing the couple, the judge announced the following:

"Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And, but for the interference with his arrangement, there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix."

Note the opening words: 'Almighty God.'

Just like in the argument against gay marriage, it's the Lord's name used (taken in vain) and it's apparently his will that blacks and whites be separated.

But the Lovings did not capitulate - and the court case reached the Supreme Court - the highest court in all of America. Nearly ten years after their original indictment, the Lovings were allowed to remain married, on the grounds that Virginia's segregation laws were unconstitutional and "odious to a free people whose institutions are founded upon the doctrine of equality."

Chief Justice Warren explained his ruling:

"Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival. To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious discriminations. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State."

Note that the gender of the 'person' a man is free to marry is never mentioned. Some people argue it's implied - but other people logically argue that the only requirements to marry is mutual consent by both parties (rendering senator John Cornyn’s 'box turtle' argument void, since a box turtle, or any animal, is incapable of offering informed consent to marry.)

Bigotry in Faith's Clothing

The alarming thing comparing Loving vs. Virginia to the modern day argument against gay marriage are the similarities. It seems like it's the same old cast, performing the same old script, just four decades later.

While certain Christians were instrumental in securing Civil Rights for African-Americans, the core support for racial segregation across the United States came from the majority of 'decent,' normal, Church-going Americans. The same people who are now protesting against gay marriage.

In fact, the scriptural arguments were quite similar, too - with the 'mark of Cain' often being interpreted as dark skin, thereby offering scriptural evidence to support the assumption that black people were spiritually inferior to whites.

Such scriptural interpretations were clearly just cynical attempts to hide racism and bigotry behind the legitimacy of religion. I honestly don't see how the Christian position on homosexuality is any different today.

It's quite clear that the most verbal opponents of gay rights aren't fighting against homosexual equality for any 'greater good' or 'higher calling.' They simply don't like gay people. They're scared of the effects 'gay' people will have on good, old-fashioned 'family values.'

But that's no different to white people in the 1950's being scared of the effect 'negro culture' would have on polite, white society - heralded by the arrival of 'rock & roll' music.

It doesn't necessarily mean the Church goers in the 1950's or the fundamentalist Christians of today are necessarily bad people. They're just not exposed to homosexual people in the same way those of us in urban areas are - and are therefore apprehensive about people they know nothing about (aside from whispered rumors and Church mandated anti-homosexual propaganda.)

This is why the anti-gay movement is much stronger in America's heartland than places like New York City or California. In New York, we know that the gay community wants nothing more than the basic civil liberties the 'heartland' of America was denying black people less than half a century ago.

The right to avoid discrimination. The legal protection of an officially recognized, consensual, monogamous, committed relationship. The right for certain aspects of 'gay history' like the Stonewall Riots to be recognized - just like important events in the history of the Civil Rights movement are recognized.

In protesting so vehemently against this, I'm worried the fundamentalist Christians are being enormously hypocritical. In the New Testament, Jesus certainly never said anything about homosexuality, so by putting his name behind a movement to repress and deny other human beings their basic human rights seems totally against everything Christianity is supposed to stand for.

"They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good." Titus 1:16

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The 'Hand' of God

Please also read: Another Perspective on Religion.

Today, in Kootenai, Idaho, a mid-twenties man followed a belief common within America's heartland - that the Bible is the literal Word of God.

So when he felt he was being drawn into sin, he did what any Christian fundamentalist would do and turned to The Good Book™.

Gospel of Matthew 5:30

And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Cut off his hand? Well, if the Bible says that's what he has to do, who is a God-fearing Christian to argue? So wrapping a makeshift tourniquet around his arm, this solider of Christ proceeded to lop his hand off with a circular saw.

You can read the story here.

It's a shocking turn of events - and very sad.

I think this heartbreaking story raises some very important points - especially about faith. While people like presidential candidate Mike Huckabee claim to believe that the Bible is the infallible, literal word of God, they're surely not advocating home-amputations for those being led into temptation.

Or are they?

One Australian Christian says just that. This was written a long time before the poor young man in Idaho decided to lop his paw off - but reading it in the context of that is rather creepy.

"If you or I cut a hand off, wouldn't we be committed to a mental hospital?" He writes. "But what if the hand choppers aren't all crazy? A chopped off hand might be just what we need to get things back into correct perspective!"

He continues: "Matthew is often quoted as proof that Jesus never meant for us to take him literally... ...so maybe he didn't mean for us to take anything else he said [in the Bible] literally either. No way! We cannot accept that line of reasoning. If Jesus is really the Son of God, then trying to make him conform to our finite wisdom is blasphemy!"

"Try this experiment. Get a very sharp pocket knife and put it in your pocket or purse for one day, with the understanding that you will cut your hand off before you will let it lead you into sin. Just do it for one day."

So whip out the circle-saws, apparently!

A bunch of hokum

Fortunately, people like our Australian friend are not representative of Christians in general. He is representative of the Christian fundamentalists, however, who are a growing group within America's Christian heartland.

These are people who advocate the complete, absolute literal infallibility of the Bible and object to 'higher criticism' from historians, anthropologists and the like (who might commit 'blasphemy' and actually put the book's history and contents into context.)

Christian fundamentalism is a cult - born from people like Dwight L. Moody and Arthur Tappen Pierson, who lived around the same time as fellow cultist Joseph Smith Junior - the father of Mormanism.

Although it's much more credible than Smith's Church of the Latter Day Saints (there's no third testament or North American 'City of Zion'), fundamentalism is just as ridiculous and hokey as any other Victorian cult. For example, fundamentalists and evangelicals believe in the complete accuracy of Scripture, including the historical and scientific parts.

It's a cult of blind faith and delirious ignorance, completely devoid of any of the rationality of the Catholic church (who, arguably, know the most about Christianity since they were the first ones to market it worldwide. [Don't you mean 'spread' - Editorial Bear.]

The sad thing is, as long as evangelical and fundamentalist ministries keep driving home the literal 'truth' of the Bible, more and more mentally ill people like our friend in Idaho will fall afoul of their rigid ideology of ignorance.

I can only imagine Matthew, if he were alive today, slapping his forehead and crying: "He read my book and he did WHAT? Was he INSANE? What kind of lunatic thought I was actually suggesting they cut their own hand off! Oh my God... Some people..."

If you want a REAL understand of the Bible, I suggest you go to this website as well, which doesn't sugar-coat any of the lessons.

The Brick Testament

Sunday, January 06, 2008

The Bible and Star Wars

Please also read: Another Perspective on Religion.

Back when I was about seven or eight, I had a collection of Star Wars toys, which I'd play with incessantly.

Despite all three films having been released in the cinema, at that point in my life, the only Star Wars film I'd actually seen was the original one, which was occasionally shown on television early enough for me to watch it.

Nevertheless, I was instantly caught up in the saga of Luke, Leia and the battle against the Death Star and thought Darth Vader was a fearsome baddy. As I played with my action figures, I was dying to find out more about the story.

My brother used to do the 'older brotherly' thing occasionally and play with me - concocting Star Wars adventures with my toys. I distinctly remember him once acting out a whole part of the Star Wars story that I'd never heard of before (and wouldn't until Revenge of the Sith hit the cinema screens in 2005.)

It was the story of Darth Vader and how he got to be in that funky black helmet of his.



The Fall of Darth Vader

I'm not quite sure where my brother had learnt about the tragic fall of Darth Vader, but there was plenty of material floating about in the form of novels and comic books. It turns out that George Lucas had created the back story to Luke's father way back in 1977, the same year the original Star Wars film got released.

So twenty years before the events were immortalised on celluloid, my brother acted out the fall of Darth Vader with my four-inch action figures and thrilled me with the climactic story that saw Obi Wan Kenobi hurl Vader into a pit of molten lava at the end of an epic light sabre battle.

It might not have looked that dramatic if you'd been peering over my shoulder, but in my mind, the story was every bit as epic as the version you'll see on the big screen.

My brother's always had a way with words and I could imagine Obi Wan (who of course looked like Alec Guinness, since Ewan MacGregor was only a teenager at the time) battling it out with my blurry mental image of Anakin Skywalker (who, in my imagination, looked a bit like my father's colleague Ian Shield.)

In the end, Vader was dumped into the bubbling magma and Obi Wan disappeared off with his light sabre, leaving the Emperor to come and scoop up Anakin's remains and pour them into a cybernetic suit roughly the same size and shape as British actor David Prouse.

And until I went to the cinema twenty years later, to see George Lucas' version of the story, the way Darth Vader was defeated played out exactly as I saw it in my head. My brother had continued the tradition of oral storytelling as it's been done for millena. Except his version was better because it had light sabres in it.

There is a point to this story.

The Point to This Story

The way my brother had taught me about Darth Vader (who coincidentally was immaculately conceived by a virgin mother) was the same way as the oral history of the Middle East eventually found it's way into written form and became the origin of the book we know today as The Bible.

The Old Testament of The Bible, which tells the story of the creation of the world and the early saga of the people of Israel and Judah, is generally agreed to have been complied from various sources between 1,200 and 200 BC. Some of these sources were written - parts of the Old Testament were discovered in The Dead Sea Scrolls.

Other aspects of The Bible, such as the Israelite's Exodus from Egypt, appear to be a recorded version of oral history (since there is little recorded evidence even from Egyptian sources recording these events.)

The New Testament of the Bible is generally believed to have been written between 70 and 100 CE. The accounts of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are clearly not first hand. Even the earliest recorded copies of the Gospels were written after the disciple's deaths and historian Richard Gerberding in 'Medieval Worlds: An Introduction to European History' admits: "Our prime sources about the life of Jesus were written... ...by people who knew people who knew him."

So their historical accuracy - although pretty good for accounts of that historical period - are very far removed from what a historian would deem 'primary evidence.'

Let's Get the Story Straight

A good example of how blurry these accounts must be involves The Nativity. The birth of Jesus is an event recounted by both Matthew and Luke, neither of whom were actually there. As a result, they're entirely contradictory.


Neither of them can agree on where Joseph and Mary came from (Luke claims that they were only visiting Bethlehem, while Matthew says they lived there) and while Matthew mentions the terrifying King Herod and the Massacre of the Innocents, Luke doesn't find the systematic murder of all Bethlehem's children even worth mentioning.

Bonus Features

What makes it all that much more complicated - even ignoring the existing contradictions between each of the 27 canonical books - is that there's a ton of additional material that somehow never made it's way between the pages of the New Testament.

During the first few centuries of Christian Tradition, there were additional gospels like that of Thomas, The Egyptians and even Judas, but they ultimately 'didn't make the cut.'

The Shepherd of Hermas, Barnabas and Peter had input too, but in the first few hundred years of the Catholic Church, the bible proper was trimmed down to it's current form.

Abridged Version

It was Emperor Constantine who pretty much decided what went into the 'official' version and what didn't. That's like me taking 38 different hand written copies of the 38 plays of William Shakespeare (all of the copies dating back a century or more) and paring out the fifteen which best represented his 'canon.'

You can see the historical problems present in a situation like that. For example, who's going to get the reference to Falstaff in Henry V if you were forced to exclude Henry IV or The Merry Wives of Windsor from 'the canon?'

But having acknowledged the problem of getting an accurate account in the first place and then picking and choosing which accounts are worthy of inclusion, we're presented with the additonal problem of translating the whole thing.

Language Issues

The earliest copies of the Bible were written in post-classical Greek. The Old Testament was further translated into Hebrew (since Christians share the 'Torah,' the first ten chapters of the Bible, with the Jews) and the original 'complete' Bibles, dating back to the days of Emperor Constantine, were written in Hellenic Greek.

In fact, it wasn't until the 8th century that the Codex Amiatinus finally saw the whole Bible together in one place. At least six centuries had passed since the events in question and the details included in the book had been transcribed via countless penmen. At this stage, the Bible itself was very far from The Word of God.

It had never been The Word of God. It had originally been The Word of God as told by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Which in turn had become The Word of God as told by Somebody Who Knew Somebody Who Knew Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Which in turn, had become The Word of God (as copied by a scholar) from documents written by Somebody Who Knew Somebody who Knew Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Which finally became The Word of God as translated from a different language by one scholar, from another document copied by a previous scholar, as written by Somebody Who Knew Somebody Who Knew Matthew, Mark, Luke and John (abridged edition.)

It was another eight hundred years before King James 1st of England commissioned scholars to translate the (somewhat) original Greek bible into Shakespearean-era English.

In the 1970s, it was decided that the King James version (which had been translated by the apparently inadequate 'word for word' method) was again translated into a 'thought by thought' version known as the Good News Bible.

So basically, the version of the Bible we hold in our hands today is very far removed from it's original sources. Every single word, syllable and punctuation mark has journeyed through the centuries to find it's way onto our page.

Context. Now with 32% added spaceships.

Consider the journey Jesus' story has taken in comparison to the story my brother told me about Anakin Skywalker.

My brother's version of events was removed by six or seven years from the original author's imaginings. It had come to him from a novel, comic book or somebody else relating the story they'd seen in a novel or comic book. That's how I'd learned the story of Darth Vader.

As it turned out, most of everything my brother told me was more or less factually accurate - but when I saw what 'really happened' on the big screen, there were some fundamental differences.

In Revenge of the Sith Obi Wan Kenobi was played by a different actor, for one thing, and he hacked off Darth Vader's legs and arm in the course of the battle.

Far more graphic than the version my brother had told me!


Plus, it all took place on a fiery volcano world and in the final moments, it wasn't a pool of lava that Darth get hurled into, but merely a bank on the shores of a flowing river of magma.

Unfortunately Anakin's clothes weren't fireproof and 'whoosh' went the troubled teenager like a Christmas pudding soaked in brandy.

Chinese Whispers

In short, my version of events and what actually happened [Star Wars did not actually happen - Editorial Bear] ended up being very different. It's amazing how much stories can change when they are are passed from one person to another. Imagine, then, how much the story of the Bible might have shifted as it journeyed through the mouths and pens of generations of Biblical scholars.

Those who claim their Bible (the King James or Good News sitting beside their bed) to be the absolute, literal 'Word of God' are very clearly wrong. Even worse are the people like potential president Mike Huckabee, who claims the Bible to be absolutely infallible.

How can it be infallible if there are contradictory errors in it?

Did Jesus came from Bethlehem or Nazareth? If the Bible can't even get that fact straight, how can we trust any of the either minute details contained within?

Factual Accuracies. With Light Sabres.

But that being said, my experiences with Anakin Skywalker have taught me one thing. Despite certain important aspects of the story changing as it journeyed from the brain of George Lucas to my childish imagination, the basic details went unchanged.

Anakin Skywalker turned to the 'dark side,' betrayed his mentor Obi Wan and was horribly injured by lava as a result, emerging as a man/machine known as Darth Vader.

That's the essential core and truth to the story of Star Wars. And if that story's solid enough to last a game of Chinese whispers, I imagine the important stuff in the Bible is, too.

The REAL message of The Bible.

We might not be able to count on the finer details, but there's enough to believe the BASIC story of the Jewish exodus and the ten commandments and even Noah's Ark have some origin in historical fact - and therefore have relevance in today's world.

Even more so, the philosophies of Jesus Christ - who preached peace, love and tolerance - are clear enough to have survived centuries of editing and translation.

Whether you believe he's the son of God or not, the beliefs he preached - like not judging people and turning the other cheek - are all valid philosophies that are probably 'pretty much' what he originally said back in the day.

What that conclusion does prove, however, is that there's something deeply wrong and inherently misleading about people who quote scripture and try to justify hatred by using sections taken from English translations of the Bible.

Jesus loves unconditionally (terms and conditions overleaf)

Many Christians, for example, try to illustrate that homosexuality is inherently evil by quoting from the Bible.

The ridiculous part of that is that the 'important' part of the Christian Bible (the New Testament) does not feature Jesus mentioning homosexuality once. NOT EVEN ONCE.

And the section that does mention it? Romans 1:26-27? It features Paul the Apostle writing against those who worship false idols, not homosexuals specifically.

And Paul never even met Jesus.

But let's not discount the poor guy - although over the intervening nine hundred and fifty years since Paul's death, it's possible one of the countless copiers or translators of the Epistle to the Romans might have been putting words into his mouth.

After all, the only other 'so-called' damnation of homosexuality in The Bible is to be found in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 although even the most conservative scholar admits that the condemnation could be against homosexuals, sodomites, prostitutes or paedophiles depending on the translation. [Even Sith lords - Editorial Bear.]

Think Big.

It's important to look at the big picture of the Bible, rather than doing what angry, frustrated hatemongers do and pick strips of scripture out-of-context and try to use them to spread a message of intolerance and hate.

Whether you believe he was the son of God or not, the basic philosophies outlined by Jesus in the Bible are those of love, peace and tolerance. That's the important thing to take from a study of the Bible - not an obsession with typographically suspicious minutiae.

Other historical records seem to match the story of the Bible and offer evidence that much of what is written about occurred in one form or the other. We'll never know the details and to pretend otherwise is just willful ignorance.

But it's still a great story and it's lasted the test of time. Next time somebody says something out of turn, it's worth considering 'turning the other cheek.' If you see somebody in need, it's worth thinking about being a good Samaritan.

But likewise, the next time your hear somebody claim that 'God' is 'against' something, or hateful of a particular type of person, it's equally worth remembering that the Bible is just a book - a very, very, very old book - and the person trying to use it to justify their message of hate is probably just full of shit.

It's also worth remembering that the Path to the Dark Side normally ends in a fiery pit of steaming magma, so you apprentice Jedis out there might want to avoid that.

Sermon over.