Ask Miltant Ginger

It's time for our regular question and answer column - answering the queries that have been entered into search engines and have sent the reader to this blog.

Should people with a nut allergy eat Honey Nut Cheerios?

The answer to this question is: 'No.' Followed by 'What?!?'

Or, even, answering that question with another question: 'Are you retarded?'

The stuff people enter into search engines boggles the mind sometimes. Was this a legitimate question?

Did somebody with a nut allergy really wonder if it was okay to eat honey nut cheerios? Which, it would be safe to assume, contain nuts. Otherwise they'd be breaching the Trade Descriptions Act!

Good grief! It's idiots like this that force us to print instructions on toothpicks!

More to the point, it's idiots like this that force us to write 'May Contain Nuts' on packets of peanuts (leading to the response: 'Well, I should bloody well hope so!')

So, to answer this question: "You know what, chum? Why don't you go ahead and pour yourself a big bowl of honey nut cheerios and dig right in?"

It would be nice to see Darwin's Theory of 'Survival of the Fittest' in action just to prove the conservatives wrong on creationism.

What does it mean when a New Jersey resident has Pennsylvania Plates on their car?

Well, it could mean that their car is registered in Pennsylvania!

People can live and work in New Jersey, but still keep their auto insured and registered at an address over in the Keystone State. I had two friends who lived in New York, but kept Pa. plates on their cars because the insurance was so much cheaper.

But, just as likely, it's owned by an illegal alien who's got hold of a set of Pa. plates so he can drive about without being pulled over by the local cops.

Where I live, in an almost entirely Spanish neighbourhood, a significant number of cars have battered plates from Pennsylvania, Ohio, Maryland and even Texas. They're all driven by illegal aliens (and mysteriously, the local cops do nothing about it.)

In either event, I'd recommend keeping your distance from cars with out of state plates. If somebody's living and working in Jersey, but have their car registered elsewhere, insurance companies often refuse to pony up if they have an accident.

If you get into a smash with an illegal driver, on the other hand, they'll normally speed away from the scene of an accident just as fast as their piece-of-shit cars will let them.

What does Quantum of Solace mean?

As I explained in this post, the Quantum of Solace is a reference to a short story written by Ian Fleming and first published in his anthology For Your Eyes Only.

The Quantum of Solace is the almost immeasurable spark of love and compassion one person has for another. They say that the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference. If that quantum of solace is extinguished, the relationship is over.

James Bond himself, British actor Daniel Craig, perhaps explains it better than I can: "Ian Fleming says that if you don't have a quantum of solace in your relationship then the relationship is over. It's that spark of niceness in a relationship that if you don't have you might as well give up."

Quantum of Solace is also the name of the upcoming James Bond movie, set for release this November.

What does the nickname Simon James and Hill mean?

Simon James and Hill are two talented radio presenters I've had a bit of an antagonistic relationship with ever since they took the helm of Original 106's breakfast show.

I suggested that they weren't right for that audience - and the bosses at Original clearly agreed with me, since my old colleague Pat Sissons soon took over the coveted Breakfast show.

But the boys are talented - and swiftly got got promoted to breakfast show presenters on Keerang! radio, following smug git Tim Shaw's well overdue dismissal. Their rambunctious antics make them a perfect match for the popular rock-radio's audience.

As for the nickname? Simon James and Hill is the duo of Simon James and James 'Hill' Burrell. It's a cute moniker that has lots of people asking; 'are Simon, James and Hill three distinct people?' Or, as I once thought; 'are there two Simons, James and Hill?'

Whatever the reason for their nickname, you can read more about the breakfast boys here.

The Brand of You

Anonymity is almost impossible now.

With the invention and proliferation of the Internet, there's never been easier access to personal information. Your name is all over the net, somewhere or other. The term "to Google" somebody is now a legitimate dictionary entry - it refers to typing somebody's name into a search engine and seeing what turns up.

Like it or not, anybody in the world can find out information about you.

Which for some people - including me, I suppose - is great. If you're a self publicist, you can start a website, a blog or pop your pictures up on Facebook and Myspace for the world to see. If you type in my name in Google.com you'll immediately be directed to something I've written somewhere.

But this ability is presenting more and more people with a problem. Considering that anybody can access stuff you post up on the Internet - what sort of image of yourself do you want to present?

Take the example of Stacy Snyder, a 27 year old former student of Millersville University in Pennsylvania. The single mother of two was studying for a teaching degree and had completed her work with pretty decent results. However, on the eve of her graduation, she was told by her lecturers that they wouldn't be letting her complete her degree.

Why?

Because they'd visited her Myspace site, where she described herself as a 'drunken pirate,' and had posted a 'disturbing' picture of her quaffing from a plastic cup (presumably containing something stronger than Coca Cola.)

Despite the fact that Snyder was then 25, four years over the legal drinking age in Pennsylvania, the Board of Education allegedly claimed she was promoting underage drinking and nipped her teaching career in the bud - despite the thousands of dollars of loans she'd taken out to cover two years of hard work.

Stacy is suing the college for $75,000. You can read all about it here and here.

Stacy's experience is the most publicised, but many people are finding their careers coming unglued based on their Internet activities. Take the example of Ellen Simonetti, known by fans of her blog as "Queen of Sky." An airline stewardess with Delta, her semi-fictionalised account of her life and adventures caused her to get suspended by the airline, specifically over a saucy photo in which she shows off acres of thigh draped over her airplane's seats.

Whether you think Millersville University or Delta Airlines were right or wrong, it raises an interesting point. Now that anybody and everybody has access to your Internet life - what sort of image do you want to present to them?

The Brand of You

Working in advertising, we're always going on about brand. A brand is the blanket marketing concept that sums up what a product or company is and what it stands for. And now, thanks to the Internet, each and every person tapping away at a keyboard is in a position to create their own brand.

But what IS your brand?

It's something that's worth thinking seriously about. More and more employers are checking out people's blogs and myspace pages before hiring them. Your current employer, or future one, might not be too impressed if they discover that your myspace presence features a million drunken pictures and poorly punctuated accounts of your drug fueled adventures.

Many people complain that what you do in your own time is your business - and nobody else's. But I think it's a fair comment that as soon as you start posting it on the Internet and 'advertising' it to the world - you've crossed the line from 'private' into 'public.'

In Stacy Snyder's case, I think Millersville University was unfair to have disqualified her from graduating. Nobody's under any illusion that all teachers at tee-total - and nothing on her Myspace profile suggested anything sordid or illegal.

But in business, the First Amendment's Right to Free Speech is not covered in the employee handbook. So before you post anything on the Internet, think about what it is you're posting and how it would make you look in the eyes of everybody who might read it. Your parents. Your employer. Your friends and your family.

You have the chance to control how the world sees you. But it's not something you should undertake without giving it some serious thought.

Happy branding!