It's been a chorus, these last few weeks. As soon as I roll up the driveway in my big, cream 'Locomotive,' somebody starts yelling how I qualify for 'cash for clunkers.'"D'you know how much that car is worth? You can get $4,500 for that thing!"
True, $4,500 is considerably more than my car is actually worth (I picked up The Locomotive for a grand) but it still strikes me that 'trading it in' is a complete false economy.
For a start, there's not a single car retailing for under $20,000 that I would even consider buying. I'm not a fan of new cars anyway, so trading in my stylin' Lincoln for a limp replacement doesn't fill me with any enthusiasm whatsoever.
Secondly, buying a new car means monthly payments. Mummy Militant's Toyota costs us $199 a month and pretty much any new car - even with Obama's 'cash for clunkers' payment - will end up costing us about the same (or considerably more.) My Lincoln costs me nothing per month. Already I'd be losing out by buying a new car!
Then there's a deposit, of course. Two grand is about normal - which isn't going to appear out of thin air. My old car costs me, unsurprisingly, nothing to stick with.
So look at it from my perspective. Instead of sticking with a reliable car that costs me nothing to lease or own, the 'economy' of 'Cash for Clunkers' sees me throw down $2,000 as a deposit, make monthly payments of at least $200, all for a car I didn't even want in the first place!
Even the normal argument - that I'd 'earn my money back' in fuel economy - is false. What I'd save in filling the tank, I'd lose in depreciation and the cost of insuring a brand new motor, (instead of a twenty-year-old 'clunker.')
I can see the appeal of the 'cash for clunkers' scheme - Hell, I'd even have considered it for a 5-speed Ford Mustang - but I'm certainly not the sort of 'clunker' driver who's going to take the cheese this time around.
Sure, my 'clunker' might cost me a car payment every few months in maintenance, but this old bird was rolling down the highway for the last twenty years - and will be doing the same for just as long into the future.
Tomorrow's post: Hopefully how my Lincoln didn't break down by the side of the road.
