Monday, March 17, 2008

Can I sell it on eBay?

My cherry-red 1986 Lincoln Town Car has done us proud since we arrived in America.

It's gamely taken me to and from work every day, plus handled the occasional 'jaunt' out of state, to the suburban strip-malls of Long Island or the unspoilt farmland of Pennsylvania.

But like in all good melodramas, just as you've come to love and trust a (mechanical) member of your family, it's daunting and dastardly back-story emerges.

In this case, it's the sordid story of another disgraced tri-state Governor - and the starring role my Lincoln plays in his continued infamy.

You see, I bought my cherry-red car from a rapper, who had sprayed it metallic red to suit the rest of his fleet of old, but well preserved luxury cars. In it's 'previous life,' my Lincoln had been a business-like silver and apparently belonged to non-other than disgraced New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, back in the days when he was mayor of Woodbridge.

I say apparently because I have no proof. I'm taking the word of a virtual stranger, who maintained that the reason my Lincoln's central-locking has a virtual life of it's own is because it was 'uprated' to provide the former Governor 'enhanced security.'

He could have been fibbing - but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

The Governor's Lincoln

Before Eliot Spitzer's hypocrisy was revealed, the most recognizable 'grubby governor' in the New York area was James Edward "Jim" McGreevey - a Colombia and Georgetown alumni who served as an New Jersey assemblyman, local mayor and state senator before winning the 2001 gubernatorial election and becoming Governor of New Jersey.

A controversial governor, mired by accusations of corruption, his downfall came with the appointment of Israeli Golan Cipel as his homeland security adviser.

When the Bergen County Record revealed Cipel's lack of qualifying experience for the position, a background check was launched, leading to The Record classifying Cipel as a 'poet' and a 'sailor' and making innuendo-laden references to Cipel and McGreevey's 'close friendship' and how they 'often travelled together.'

Forced to explain the decision to appoint Cipel to the post, it was soon revealed that Cipel and McGreevey were more than just 'close friends.' They were, in fact, lovers - which probably went a long way to explaining why McGreevey had appointed him to a position for which Cipel was unqualified.

The allegations of corruption and the revelation that McGreevey had cheated on his wife with another man led to the Governor stepping down from his position in November 2004. So ended the sordid saga of Jim McGreevey... Or so you would think.

The Blameless Wife

Meet Dina Matos McGreevey - Jim McGreevey's second wife, who he was married to when revelations of his gay affair came to light.

After learning of her husband's homosexuality, she filed for divorce - and that messy court case has been dragging on since October 2004.

Jim McGreevey wants custody of their kids. Dina Matos wants $600,000. So far, her major trump-card has been her status as the wronged woman, cruelly deceived by a man who lied to her from the very beginning about his sexual orientation.

But just today, Teddy Pedersen, the former driver of then-Mayor McGreevey, revealed that Dina Matos was just as guilty of hypocrisy as her husband. Not only was she fully aware of her husband's malleable sexuality - she regularly joined in a weekly three way known to the participants as 'Friday Night Specials.'

Starting out with dinner and drinks at a local TGI Friday's restaurant, the 'party' would continue in no-less than the back of my car - before winding up at McGreevey's Woodbridge condo.

I'm happy I got the velor seats shampooed now!

This revelation has seriously dented Dina Matos McGreevey's veneer of innocence - possibly giving former Governor McGreevey more clout to demand custody of his kids.

"It's frustrating to hear her call Gov. Spitzer a hypocrite while she's out there being as dishonest as anyone could be about her own life," said Pedersen, 29. "She's framed herself as a victim - yet she was a willing participant."

"She had complete control over what happened in her relationship," he said. "She was there, she knew what was happening, she made the moves. We all did. It's disgusting to watch her play the victim card."

In addition to providing the transport for McGreevey's much-publicised 'Friday Night Specials,' I wonder what other misadventures my Lincoln's witnessed?

If only that walnut-veneer dashboard could talk...

Disclaimer: Although it is widely accepted (by me) that my Lincoln Town Car previously belonged to Jim McGreevey, I have no proof of this beyond the word of a rapper and a bumper-sticker promoting McGreevey's 2001 campaign for Governor. Take this article in the spirit in which it was written.


The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

Hmmmm... That would be a little disturbing knowing the possibility that McGreevey and company could have had some sort of romp in that car. However, it does make for some very interesting story telling! :)

BritGal' Sarah said...

Roland please do not hate me for this...but everytime I see that first pic of you with your foot on the car, you remind me so much of Chris Evans...LOL!

(Scarpers from site fast!)

Meghan said...

That's disgusting! How much are you selling it for?...