American Football

Last night, I watched football with my brother-in-law.

American Football, of course. Not the 'real' kind - where people actually use their feet.

But watching two games - the Pittsburgh Steelers against the New York Jets and the Washington Redskins against the Dallas Cowboys - I came to a startling conclusion.

It was good stuff! And this is coming from a confirmed sports-hater. I hate English 'footy.'

Soccer, or what we Brits call Football, is a limp, pathetic game these days. A bunch of coiffured metrosexuals run up and down the pitch, hurling themselves to the ground every time they trip over a blade of grass.

Games are hardly ever won on goals any more. It's normally nil-nil until the end of the game and then it's all decided on a penalty shootout (or what the Americans have dramatically relabelled - SUDDEN DEATH!)

Why do they bother with the 90 minute kick around if it's all decided in the penalty box? It's the same flaw as with Formula 1 (where they could shelve the race and just have a competition to see who can change tyres the fastest.)

It's so dreary and unexciting and there simply isn't any sportsmanship any more.
But American Football?

That's still a GAME.

Take last night's game against the Jets. The Pittsburgh Steelers - one of the finest teams in the National Football League - were on top of them by a good three points until the last few minutes of the 4th quarter. Then the Jets blitzed through their defence - and when it's four 300lb men running at 25mph, that's quite a blitz - and evened the score.

It was nail biting stuff - decided in extended time when the Jets snatched victory with a brilliantly played touchdown.

When was the last time a soccer match had been so exciting?

Although the Jets/Steelers game was nothing compared to the Redskins/Cowboys.

[Cowboys versus Indians? Really? - Editorial Bear.]

Until the final few minutes of the game, the Redskins were on top of the Cowboys. Then, in just a couple of minutes, the tables had been turned by a few clever plays.

Suddenly the Cowboys were ten points up - and emerged victorious.

It's always nail biting stuff. The game twists and turns and underdogs can emerge victorious with a few clever moves.

Soccer vs. Football

What's great about American football is the way it's played.

Like rugby, the goal is to cart that pigskin down across the 'touchline' at the other end of the field. In order to do this, the coaches plan 'plays' - which is where tactics enter into the game that are simply unheard of in football.

The quarterback plays here. He passes to this receiver. He makes a run down this line. It's all planned out in advance.

Like a cavalry charge, each play is plotted out by the offensive line and the defenders try to make a defensive play. There are feints and bluffs and double bluffs and one clever idea can change the course of an entire game.

It's tactical, it's smart and it's exciting.

In comparison, soccer is just an opportunistic kick around. There are no real tactics.

Aside from being a more tactical and exciting game, American Football is also a lot more entertaining. These big 300lb men run like freight trains, hammering into each other in a way that would have David Beckham widdling himself.

Even rugby clashes can't compete with the sheer power of these bulging men as they hurl themselves at each other.

Plus, of course, no American Football game is complete without the stunning antics of the hyperactive cheerleaders. Beautiful girls doing acrobatic things. A neat little reminder that the testosterone filled world of sports is a firmly heterosexual one.

And whether that's politically incorrect or not, it does make a refreshing change from the poncy European soccer players, forever advertising moisturiser and shampoo on television.

American Football. Game on.