Anniversary of Militant Marriage

Almost a decade ago, I stood on the sand of Cable Beach and married Mummy Militant.

It's difficult to believe that it was so long ago.

Marriage has been one of the most incredible, difficult and rewarding experiences of my life. Every single day I'm married serves as a reminder that the reason it works - and the reason I'm not a divorce statistic, like 60% of today's marriages are - is because of the wonderful woman I gave my last name to.

I knew literally days after meeting her that I wanted to marry Mummy Militant. She had that spark of beautiful madness and rebellion in her eyes which marked her as one of my own.

From the moment we first kissed, to the adventures we shared in our first few months together, it instantly became obvious that we were as much a romantic duo as Nick and Nora (or Jonathan and Jennifer, if you're of my vintage.)

I'll admit that it has not been easy. In Mexico they're experimenting with "temporary marriages" which you have to renew after the first two years - and if that had been the case with us, I'm pretty sure Mummy Militant would have walked after year two... and three... and four...

But by year five, I think I'd just about got my shit together (which is something I'm hoping to cover in my new blog about how to be a grown up) and that's when things really started to become amazing.

Today, Mummy Militant is my best friend, my confident, my conscience and my muse. She and I work well together because many of the personal qualities I lack - like attention to detail, compassion and drive - she provides our dynamic duo. Likewise, I like to think my buccaneering charm and childish enthusiasm often buoy her up when reality comes closing in.

Marriage is tough - really tough. I often suspect that the human condition is not to be pair-bonded for eternity, since most of us are ego-maniacal and flighty (or is that just me?) Yet Mummy Militant is somebody - the only body - that I could see myself with until the end of my days. Even after years of increasingly sleepless nights and stressful days, I love being around her, and I still think she's the most beautiful girl in the world.

Thank you, Mummy Militant, for all these wonderful years together - and here's to many, many more to come.

California Supreme Court gives Thumbs Up to Gay Marriage

The California Supreme Court has overturned a state law banning gay marriage, declaring that it violates the state constitution.

But despite that fact, conservative groups in California are pushing to amend the state's constitution to add a clause: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

My question is: Why?

I mean, seriously... Why bother? Why is it so important to conservative idiots like the National Organization for Marriage to ban same-sex couples from committing to a life-long relationship?

You don't have to like it. You don't even have to condone it. But this is America and one of the most fundamental rights is that of 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.'

The US Supreme court even recognized that: "Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State."

Two people of the same-sex getting married does not affect me in the slightest. It doesn't have any impact on my life whatsoever. Since nobody's life is altered in any way by the right of same-sex couples to get married, why should anybody have to right to oppose it?

By supporting gay marriage, I'm not advocating homosexuality or what conservatives laughingly refer to as 'the homosexual agenda.' All I'm doing is supporting an American's personal freedom. The right to make their own decisions.

I find it hypocritical that so many conservatives vote Republican - the party that's meant to protect Americans from the government interfering in their personal choices.

Conservatives demand the right to bear arms and the right to practice whatever retarded religion they want. Yet when somebody else demands their rights, like two consensual adults deciding to have a committed relationship, the conservatives want to the government to stick their oar in.

What these idiots don't realise is that they're weakening their own positions. After they've empowered the government to decide who can and can't get married, they'll find themselves in a much more vulnerable position when it comes to defending their own rights.

Second amendment gun-nuts and fundamentalist religious loonies really ought to be reaching out to the gay community instead of attacking it. They're both actually fighting the same battle. The conservatives are just too stupid to realise it.

Some Thoughts...

With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, I can see that I've had some wonderful experiences in the past. Tresco, Paris and Long Island were wonderful and I made great friends and had great times.

Stupidly, at the time, I didn't quite realise how lucky I was. I kept on looking at the horizon for the next big break. I was always unsatisfied.

So while I was driving back today, the cool sounds of Miles Davis wafting out of my SIRIUS radio and the warm evening breeze on my face, I gave it a thought and realised something astonishing.

I was incredibly happy. I was incredibly lucky. I was somewhere where I wanted to be.

Where I am right now is pretty much where I've spent the best part of a decade struggling to be. In America, behind the wheel of a stupid old car, with a solid job to go to and somebody who loves me to come back to.

Now I'm not 'giving up.' I'm still on the prowl to achieve more and go further. But right now, I realise I could freeze this moment for the rest of my life and be proud of it.

I sacrificed a lot to get to New York. Relationships and friendships and the chance to be close to the people I love. But as Simon Templar said in The Last Hero: "Nothing is won without sacrifice."

I just wanted to write this down because I know it can't last forever. It might not even last until tomorrow. But right now, where I am at this moment... People wait a lifetime for it. So even if I live to 102 and wind up destitute in a gutter, I'll always look back and appreciate how incredibly lucky and blessed I was at this exact moment in time.

Even more than I appreciate everything that's happened to me, I'm grateful for being given the insight to actually appreciate it. To realise that things are good while they're still good, instead of looking back in five years time and thinking: "Damn, if only I'd have realised how lucky I was..."

I do realise how lucky I am. In fact, the only thing that scares me is the inexorable knowledge that all things, good or bad, must come to an end.