TSA: Totally Substandard Agency - Airport Security Prove Their Incompetence Once Again

Recently, I flew to Spain and had my first taste of 'enhanced airport security.' It's not a very dignified experience.

Normally I think somebody should have at least bought me a drink before they demand I whip my belt off.

Nevertheless, I guess this is a sacrifice we all have to make.

After all, there are only a few things I need to make a long-haul flight enjoyable (gin and tonic, peanuts, an in-flight movie not starring Robert Pattinson) but not exploding is the one thing I'm unwilling to compromise on.

But even my cheerful compliance gets tested when I read about this – a six-year-old girl getting frisked by airport security.

This poor kid had some complete stranger grope her in sensitive places, and run her hands around the inside of her waistband, all to make sure she wasn't carrying a bomb in her Huggies.

The search involved the sort of adult/child interaction that normally gets somebody a sexual assault rap and a spot on the Sex Offender's register. Apparently the poor kid burst into tears afterwards because she thought she'd done something wrong.

It's disgusting, for so many reasons. First off, I'm not a member of Homeland Security but I'm willing to place a bet that the primary danger to domestic flights doesn't come from blue-eyed, blond-haired little girls from Kentucky.

Secondly, given how we drill our kids to tell an adult if somebody touches ever them in 'sensitive' areas, it's wrong that the TSA should expect these kids to put up with exactly that same inappropriate behavior - and even demand that their parents stand there and obediently allow it to happen.

But perhaps even more revolting that all that is how this 'enhanced' airport security is so focused on feeling up little girls that they miss much more serious security issues - and allow things like this to happen just a few feet outside the security gates: A 26-year–old women got raped in the middle of the Denver airport concourse.

Apparently this poor woman, forced to spend the night at the airport because she missed a connecting flight, was held down and raped by a stranger while janitors strolled obviously past and security cameras blindly recorded her assault. It was only when two mechanics saw the assault through the concourse window that they pulled the rapist off the poor woman.

So on one hand, we've got such tight security at airports that 6-year-old little girls can't get through the system without being felt up – while simultaneously, airport security is so lax that a woman can get raped in a public concourse in plain view of security cameras and airport employees.

Personally, if I was an opportunistic terrorist, I'd quit plans to fit a pre-schooler with an explosive vest prior to take off and instead throw a backpack full of explosives into a crowded airport concourse.

Apparently the TSA is so focused on the minutiae of airline security that they've left the rest of the airport wide-open and defenseless.

'King' Khan is detained at Newark: Flag burning ensues.

It was just a few weeks ago that Continental Airlines caused a controversy by forcing former Indian President A.P.J. Abdul Kalam to undergo routine airport security screening - an 'affront' to his status as a dignitary.

Well, now the Americans have 'done it again,' by daring to detain Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan at Newark Liberty International for an unthinkable 66 minutes.

Outrage ensued - with 'King' Khan's fans burning U.S. flags and protesting at what they decried as 'ill treatment' of their beloved star. Indian politicians angrily demanded an investigation.

But an investigation into what, exactly?

The rest of us regularly get detained at airports. What makes Shah Rukh Khan so different? Or is it just another example of this curious mindset which argues that certain people (be they former presidents or Bollywood legends) apparently don't need to abide by the same rules as the rest of us.

I mean, let's set the record straight here. Shah Rukh Khan is an actor. Yes, he might have starred in over 70 Bollywood hits, but he sure as hell doesn't have diplomatic immunity! For people to expect Americans to treat him 'differently' than the rest of us is offensive and fanciful!

Shah Rukh 'King' Khan: Not really a king.

(I don't care how famous Khan is over in India, but I'm willing to bet that most of the people working at Newark Liberty have never heard of him - hence why his protestations of 'Don't you know who I am?' would have gone unheeded!)

Khan at least had the good graces to deal with the situation diplomatically - telling his fans: "Let's put this behind us, think positively and move ahead." But he did add cattily that this experience means: "I certainly wouldn't like to travel with my family to the U.S."

But let's put this into perspective, please, Khan!

He was detained and questioned at Liberty International for 66 minutes - not even the length of one of his movies! Instead of complaining, he should be grateful he wasn't strip-searched or presented with a big man in a latex glove!

Now, I've been detained at Liberty International on two occasions - probably due to my somewhat checkered Immigration history. I will admit that it's annoying and inconvenient and I have some very valid reservations about the conduct of certain Immigration Officers.

But being detained? It's just part of life following the attacks of September 11th, 2001. Shah Rukh Khan should know: He was in America to promote a movie about post 9/11 racial-profiling in the United States.

So just as I argued regarding former-President Kalam, I don't see why there are a few angry people who feel that so-called Indian 'dignitaries' should receive special treatment at the border. The rest of us 'normal' people are forced to submit to the indignities of the security screening process and immigration. What makes people like Khan so different?

On American soil, Khan's really not much more of a superstar than I am - which is why I'm actually pleased to see him being detained at immigrations.

The fact that he was put through the same meat-grinder as the rest of us makes me feel like the Border Control staff at Newark are actually more egalitarian and more meticulous than I'd previously given them credit for. It makes me feel safer.

And if Shah Rukh Khan feels so 'traumatised' by his detainment? Perhaps it was just the injection of humility the Bollywood legend needed.