Friday, November 07, 2008

What would YOU do? A Competition!

Inspired by the likes of Essin' Em and Coffee Bean, who give away stuff on their website, I am going to be running a Christmas competition!

To enter this competition, all you need to do is leave a comment on this post. Every single verifiable comment made on or before December 15th will be thrown into a hat and the winner picked on December 11th. The lucky victor will receive a signed copy of (God, I'm such a self-publicist) my exciting novel Bootleg Boys.

Every comment counts as an entry, just as long as I can get in contact with the commenter and it's not spam (i.e. flogging Viagra or penis enlargement or whatever.) It can be answering my question, or responding to somebody else's answer.

I can't wait to hear your answers. Now on with the competition:

Congratulations, Governor!

Due to rampant statewide voter registration fraud by ACORN, you have inexplicably been elected Governor of the 51st American State (you know, 'The Imaginary State.')

This beautiful northeastern state boasts both a rich rural economy and a bustling city center, with several major American corporations and factories headquartered in the capital, Nixon.

The population is uniquely moderate, making your state one of the prime 'swing states' and leaving your legislative houses deadlocked between Democrat and Republican.

Your state animal is the Spotted Ass and your State Flower is the Daffodil. Last year, only three tourists were eaten by bears or kidnapped and tortured by inbred hillsmen, so all in all, things are looking pretty good!

While the state supreme court sorts out who's REALLY Governor, you have been left in charge. Please examine the questions below and then leave a comment about what YOU would do.

1: The Bipartisan Bill

With a deadlocked house, both liberals and conservatives fight to get their agendas across. That's why, in an almost unheard of move, backbenchers from both parties have united and put together the 'Bipartisan Bill for Social Justice' for presentation to the house.

With your backing and support, it's likely that this bill would get passed into law. On the other hand, you also wield the 'veto' pen (and it's a very nice Mont Blanc.) You can't make any amendments to this bill. You can either help it become law, or kill it.

The Bipartisan Bill for Social Justice

This bill comprises three amendments to the state constitution:
  1. The immediate statewide ban and subsequent illegality of all abortions, except in the case of rape and/or incest, or when the mother's life is in jeopardy.
  2. The immediate recognition all all same-sex marriages, granting exactly the same rights, responsibilities and duties of a traditional marriage between man and woman.
  3. The immediate and permanent discontinuance of Capital Punishment across the state, with the sentence of all death-row inmates to be commuted to life imprisonment without possibility of parole.

Would you help this bill become law? Or veto it?

2: The Statewide Project to Reduce Abortion

Both Democrats and Republicans wish to reduce the number of abortions performed in our great state. For that reason, a group of liberal Democrats and conservative Republicans have both formulated strategies to tackle the abortion issue statewide. As Governor, you are expected to get fully behind one particular strategy, but can't amend or alter the initiatives in any way. Which one would it be?

The Democratic Project for the Reduction of Abortion

The Democrats wish to spend tens of millions of dollars in explicit sex-education programs in school, promoting abstinence, safe-sex and the responsible use of birth control.

In addition, they wish to launch several expensive family planning initiatives, which include giving out free condoms and birth control in low-income areas and allowing teenagers and minors to receive free birth control without the doctor informing their parents.

They would also role out dramatic welfare programs to encourage low-income families and single women to keep their babies, or assist them with giving their newborns up for adoption by encouraging adoption and fostering, including amongst unmarried couples and single gay people or same-sex couples.

Your trusted advisers estimate that the Democratic project would be successful in reducing abortions in your state by as much as 35% over the course of the next three years. However, this project would cost the state millions of dollars and decrease the average age of teenagers starting sexual activity from 17 to 16.

The Republican Project for Life

The Republicans wish to make a constitutional amendment recognizing that life begins at the moment of conception, thereby making any and all abortions across the state illegal.

Your trusted advisers warn that this project would only eliminate abortions statistically, as hospitals and clinics would no longer record the number of abortions performed.

In fact, your advisers suggest that in combining the numbers of illegal abortions and those now performed out-of-state, the project could eliminate abortions by state residents as little as 15%. You will never know for sure.

In addition, they estimate it would see 1000 people jailed for involvement in illegal abortions over the course of the next few years and at least 50 deaths as a result of badly performed, unregulated 'backstreet' abortions. However, it would be very cost effective in comparison to the Democrat's plan.


Just leave your comments below on or before December 10th and, if you're picked from the hat, you'll receive a copy of Bootleg Boys, signed, personalized and mailed out anywhere in the world (but not guaranteed to arrive before Christmas if you live somewhere stupid.)

Bootleg Boys

by Roland Hulme

When it comes to doing business with bootleggers, Adventure Eddy soon discovers that breaking deals comes as naturally to them as breaking import regulations.

So when unscrupulous smuggler Joe Jenkins stiffs him as badly as he’s stiffed Customs & Excise, Eddy decides it’s time to take back what he’s owed.

But swindling a swindler isn’t as simple as it sounds – and the local police are getting increasingly suspicious.

Teaming up with a murderous ex-girlfriend, a scheming stripper and an underhanded attorney, Adventure Eddy embarks on his most ambitious exploit to date.

It’ll take daredevil driving, split-second timing and nerves of steel – but at the end of the day, that’s what being one of the Bootleg Boys is all about.


Coffee Bean said...

Well, aren't you clever? This looks like a TON of FUN! Of course, I am going to have to take some time to really think about my answers!

Loxias said...

I'd pass the bill without hesitation. I'm hoping I could still use the Mont Blanc for this purpose though....

Little Kitty Slave said...


I wouldn't pass that first bill. NO WAY. I'm totally for gay rights and abolishing the death penalty, but banning abortion is a total intrusion into a woman's life.

If a woman's pregnant, for whatever reason, the decision to have the baby or not is hers - not up to the state to decide.

After all, she's the one who has to live with the consequences.

In this day and age, hopefully a woman is smart enough not to get accidently pregnant (although it kind of happened to me and my husband last year) and if she's not, she's probably not smart enough to raise a kid!


The Democratic option would clearly be the best one. I don't understand people on the right wing being so insistent on controlling a woman's right to choose, yet then deny her every advantage if she makes the 'right' decision to keep her unplanned baby.

There are enough emotional reasons for a woman to not want to keep an unplanned baby, even before you geto the practical ones, like whether or not she can afford to pay her rent and put food on the table.

I don't know all that much about politics, but it's pretty clear the Republicans don't care about anything except totally controlling other people's lives.

Simon Scarlet said...

Q1: Pass the bill, no doubt about it. Don't think the ol' abortion ban is the best way to tackle the problem, but that's small potatoes compared to 'winning' the other two liberal issues.

Q2: I'd take the Dem option. If you're really worried about eliminating abortion, you have to leave all your preconceptions and agendas aside and just pick the option that ACTUALLY reduces the number of abortions.

Anonymous said...

Qeustion 1: I would not pass that bill. I want a total ban on abortion, but not if it means destroying the foundations of our country to get it. Marriage is defined as between a man and a woman, not two guys. what they do in their own homes is one thing, but I don't want my kids growing up thinking it's okay to get married to another guy. IT'S UNNATURAL.

Question 2: You've worded that question to make people pick the first answer, so I won't. I'll go with my heart and pick the RIGHT choice. The Republican option. A total ban on abortion is a signal that abortion is WRONG and MURDER and that's just as important as anything else.

Coffee Bean said...

Roland, Roland... you are most assuredly playing DEVIL's advocate here with this little game!

Before I answer the questions I would like to say that I am not a one issue voter. Right to life for the unborn is extremely high on my list but I also try to look at the picture as a whole. The fact is that abortion is legal in this country and it would take a Supreme Court ruling to reverse Roe v Wade... and then the issue would be turned back to the individual states. Some states would outlaw it while others would not. To illegalize abortion across the United States is not something that I think is possible in my lifetime. I do believe life begins at conception and I do believe in fighting for the rights of the unborn... but I think it is unwise to have this issue be the end all be all for decisions... on BOTH sides of the issue. I do have a major problem with those opposed to abortion being forced to participate in paying for it through federal funding.

The Bipartisan Bill for Social Justice:

I've actually been thinking about this for days...

I would let it pass.

I could not, in good conscience, veto that bill over a fear of gay marriage undermining our society with the lives of the unborn up for trade.

Initiatives for the reduction of Abortions...

I wouldn't get behind either of those options whether it was expected or not. I would author my own plan and do my best to see it implemented.

Sha said...

Nice mix of right and left wing policies to really get the brain whirring.

But first let's deal with the important issue - there are way too many Amazon ads in your post.

As for The Bill for Social Justice, if I could deal with the issues individually I'd vote against 1 and for 2 and 3, however that's not the point of the exercise is it?

The fact that I support more items than I oppose, suggests that I should pass the bill, however I don't think the items are necessarily balanced in terms of importance, for example 3 deals with life and death, whilst 2 is more of a social/legal comfort.

Of course there are those who feel all life, including that of a foetus, is equal and therefore feel an abortion is equivalent to an execution and this makes it hard for me to defend abortion whilst standing against capital punishment. However people who hold the view that life begins at conception should not get to make decisions for people who do not. There are many reasons why an abortion might be the right choice and they cannot all be predicted and written into the law. It has to be a personal decision.

Besides of which, making abortion illegal will not stop abortion taking place, only reduce its safety.

However, whilst I am pro-choice, the necessity for abortion could be dramatically reduced by better sex education and a wider provision of contraception lowering the numbers of unwanted pregnancies. I'd be sorry to see the option of abortion taken away from women but the consequences of some giving birth to unwanted babies (with whom they may well bond after all, or have the option to give up for adoption) is not as bad as even a few cases of capital punishment.

Whilst I feel allowing same sex marriages would have a positive effect on attitudes in society as a whole, it is not even in the same league as saving the lives of people on death row. However, since I've decided to pass the bill due to my overwhelming support for 3, passing the same sex marriage item is a happy by product.

So I'd help the bill become law.

I feel my answer to the first part of the competition answers the second, I'd back The Democratic Project.

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