Thompson speaks...

He may be an ugly son of a bitch, but the indomitable Fred Thompson fires off a campaign speech like nobody else.

Here are some highlights of what the former star of Law and Order had to say at the Republican National Convention:

"I can say without fear of contradiction that [Sarah Palin] is the only nominee in the history of either party who knows how to properly field dress a moose ... with the possible exception of Teddy Roosevelt."

"[Sarah Palin] and John McCain are not going to care how much the alligators get irritated when they get to Washington. They're going to drain that swamp."

"Here tonight is John's 96-year-old mother, Roberta. All I've got to say is: If Roberta McCain had been the McCain captured by the North Vietnamese, they would have surrendered."

"John [McCain's] father was a bit of a rebel, too. In his first two semesters at the Naval Academy, he managed to earn 333 demerits. Unfortunately, John later saw that as a record to be beaten..."

Ol' Fred's just a little too right wing for my taste, but he'd have been an impressive man to have seen in action at the White House podium. He's got real presence and a cute turn of phrase.