Stuck in a moment you can't get out of.

Marriage is said to be an enormous adventure.

When Tina and I got married, we had no idea just how much of an adventure it would actually turn out to be. Marrying somebody from another country is a starkly different experience to marrying somebody 'domestic.'

It's almost as if life conspires against you each step of the way.

When Tina and I got married, we figured it would be six months before we could both settle into married life in America. Now, more than three years later, we're still no closer to 'beginning' our married life than we were back then.

It's always six months away, like a carrot on a stick.

The problem for international couples is that neither of your 'home' countries really wants you. They force you through hoops to get that little stamp in your passport giving you permission to stay. And once they've given you that stamp - they never want you to leave.

That's the problem facing Tina and I at the moment.

Finally, I have my green card. But like most green products, it's got an expiry date. The clock is ticking and if I'm not resident in America within twelve months, I'm declared to have "abandoned my residency" and my green card gets revoked.

.

Tina, on the other hand, has lived with me in England for three years now. In October of this year, she will receive her British citizenship. She'll be a subject of her Majesty the Queen (one American repatriated, 259,999,999 to go.)

If she leaves before then, the previous three years are disregarded and she'll have to reapply for a visa if we ever decide to live in England again - and we won't be able to live anywhere else in Europe (which would be a more cheerful scenario.)

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It's a real Catch 22 situation. Stay here and abandon America. Go to America and abandon Europe. And since both of our residencies are reliant on us living together, we can't even separate briefly.

Tina and I are both fairly free spirited people. To have our wings clipped like this is very frustrating. Only when she has a British passport (and can live anywhere in the European Union) and I have a US Passport (and can live anywhere in America) will we both be as free as we want to be.

I'd just love for it all to be sorted. I'd like to buy a house, like one of those beautiful wooden ones I saw when Tina and I visited her family in New Jersey.

Buy a house. Buy a dog. Put together plans that don't have a six month opt out clause. Actually start settling into life, instead of sitting interminably in life's starting box, waiting for the crack of the pistol.