Monday, August 07, 2006

L'ordinateur qui ne mourir pas...

The talented Ian Hocking, who readers of my blog will know I'm a fan of, is a geek.

He has self-confessedly (yes, I know that's not a word) geeked out with a review the the computer he writes on. And in his recent interview with Mil Millington (author of Things My Girlfriend and I have Argued About) he asks: What kit do you use to weave your masterpieces? Feel free to geek-out on the details.

As a result, I have decided to reveal to the world the kit I use to weave my stories.

It's not a hypermatic supercharged electrostatic computer masterpeice. But it is very special. It is the laptop that would not die. Or, since my friend Sarah Bailey revealed that everything sounds better in (my poorly translated) French, it is l'ordinatuer qui ne mourir pas...

Just recently, T and I managed to get our house sorted and we established a space in our spare room where I could write. That was what called for the unzipping of body bags, the application of unGodly science and the ressurection of the computer that had given birth to Adventure Eddy.

My computer is an eMachine. It is a first-gen Pentium, with a floppy drive and a CDROM. It has two USB ports and and QWERTY keyboard.

Many years ago, I had a girlfriend who gave me this computer to write my stories on. It was pretty nifty then. A bit out of date, but it had a word processor and everything I needed to write with.

It travelled with me through the USA, France and England. It ruggedly connected to the internet at the Pierre et Vacances in Paris and in a little terraced house in England. It slogged on reliably while more modern computers packed up.

But time marched onwards.

First to go was the screen. It had always been a bit 'pink.' Like taking too much viagra or something. Apparently there was a loose connection with the LED. Anyway. Eventually, the pink turned to red and then, the screen died.

Then the '2' key fell off the keyboard.

And the battery exploded. And the hard disk died.

In fact, this computer, which had seen me through SSIP 2003 and 2004 and got stories published in Hustler, seemed to be past the point of rescue.

But like Herbert West in the old H.P Lovecraft Stories, or the BBC with the new Doctor Who, or whoever that idiot was who invented the series "Enterprise," I refused to let it die.

The broken screen was replaced with a monitor from a car boot sale.

The keyboard was replaced with a keyboard we got on store credit from Computer Solutions on Jewry Street.

The USB ports were held together with duct tape.

And it lived. IT LIVED!!!

Now, despite all the odds, the computer that saw me from beginning to end on Adventure Eddy is alive once again, to hopefully allow me to write The Bootleg Boys.

I wanted to write about it, because it seems like anti-geek, to me. As close as IT can get to the dark art of VooDoo. And, hopefully, Adventure Eddy will get published and Ian Hocking will want to interview me and then I will be able to reveal to him the dark, unnatural creature that is MY computer.

Mwuh ha ha ha ha ha!

1 comment:

Dr Ian Hocking said...

Nice set up... Oldie but goldie. At least your computer doesn't give you third degree burns like mine...