Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy (Christ)Mass

I have been playing a game over the last few days - it's called 'Happy or Merry?'

The rules are simple; when encountering somebody during this festive season, you have to guess whether to wish them 'Merry Christmas' or the more politically-correct 'Happy Holidays.'

In multicultural America - especially in New York, where you'll find more Jews than in Tel Aviv - it's a bit of a gamble. Fortunately, I've become pretty good at it. The other day, I spotted a potential 'Merry Christmas' behind the counter at the Post Office - merely because she was wearing a gigantic 'Jesus' badge.

However, astronomers have determined that if Jesus was a real person, he was most likely born in June, meaning the festival of Christmas has very little to do with the Son of God at all.

People theorize that budding Christians hijacked the date to coincide with the Roman Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, (the festival of Sol, the invincible sun god) and the Winter Solstice - basically meaning missionaries could lure pagans to their religion by saying: "Dude, check it out, we have a religious festival JUST LIKE YOURS. And it's at the same time, too; so you only need to buy one lot of decorations."

But regardless of it's religious roots, or whether you call it Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Festivus, the general principle remains the same. Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, all that jazz.

Unfortunately, this year, the festival spirit seems to have been victim to the same shortcomings as the economy. Take Peace on Earth, for example. Right now, Palestinians are bombarding Israel with rockets and mortars. Merry bloody Christmas!

As for Goodwill to Men - check out how much 'goodwill' resulted from Bernard Madoff's complicated 'Ponzi' scheme. The The Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity lost all it's assets and poor Rene-Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet lost so much of his client's money, he found the only answer to be sleeping pills and a box cutter behind the locked door of his Madison Avenue office.

But if you want to see the most ironic lack of the Christmas spirit, just look towards California - where not content with banning gay marriage, Proposition 8 activists want to nullify 18,000 same-sex marriages.

These mostly 'Christian' people don't know any of the nearly twenty-thousand same-sex couples. They don't know their life story, their reasons for wanting to enter into a committed relationship nor their motivation for wanting it to be legally recognized. All these self-righteous idiots know is that their life will somehow be improved by ruining the lives of twenty-thousand people they don't even know.

If that's what Christianity stands for, no wonder they feel there's a 'war on Christmas.' But just like Hezbollah whining that the Israeli response to their rocket attacks was 'disproportionate,' these embattled Christians fail to grasp that they're the ones who started the conflict.

But perhaps we should all try to adopt some of the holiday spirit and overlook our differences for the next few days. So, if you're about to launch a rocket attack, or tear asunder a committed relationship, take a deep breath and hold off until the new year.

After all, it's Christmas/ Hanukkah / Kwanzaa / Festivus / Winter Solstice (delete as appropriate.)

8 comments:

ck said...

You can doubt Jesus's deity, but you can't really doubt his existence. Way to much evidence pointing to that fact.

But when I told my daughter tonight, forget why it came up, about when Jesus was really born (May or June) she said cool (she was born in May).

kimmy said...

Happy holidays to you and your family!

Kimmy

Kitty said...

As you know, in the UK we don't hold much store by that 'Happy Holidays' lark. It's Merry Christmas all the way here!

Hope you're having a wonderful time. x

Merry Christmas! said...

But just like Hezbollah whining that the Israeli response to their rocket attacks was 'disproportionate,' these embattled Christians fail to grasp that they're the ones who started the conflict.

I think you mean Hamas.

Started the conflict? Did you ever wonder why any rockets are being fired into Israel from Gaza? Or do you just assume that it's just that those 'towelheads' are just a bunch of evil bastards?

I suggest you look closely at Israel policy towards the Palestinian arabs. There seems to be two threads. First, the ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian arabs from Israel so a Jewish majority is maintained. Second, the expansion of Israel into the West Bank (i.e. stealing of land). The latter seems mainly to be about control over water resources. Also, take a look at the situation in Gaza itself. Ask yourself: "Now how did that happen?".

What's going on in Israel/Palestine is more complicated than your mainstream American media view of it. The AP is fine, but try reading some non-MSM and foreign press for a change. They tend not to parrot the American foreign policy establishment line as much. Which is almost to say they tend not to parrot the Israeli foreign policy establishment line as much.

Roland Hulme said...

Hey Merry Christmas,

Can't argue with anything you wrote. I mentioned Hezbollah because I was thinking back to the Lebonese conflict in 2006, when the Israeli response was 'disproportionate.' I forsaw that the same point may be raised when the Israelis responded to Hamas.

I have Israeli friends, so for no other reason than that, my sympathies tend to be with the Israelis - but nobody can argue that Israel isn't guilty of some major crimes in the way they segregate and abuse their arab residents.

Thanks for your comment - I only touched on the subject, but I think it is important that people don't think the conflict is one-sided and there's certainly no clearly defined 'good guy' as many Americans believe.

sam said...

A point that the world often misses is that true Christianity rests on the person Jesus Christ and not on the views and teaching of man.
You just need to read the gospels to see what I mean.
A lot of injustice has been committed in the name of Christianity, but that does not make them Christian.
The peripheral issues such as when Jesus was born are really not important - it is the bigger picture that counts.

Max-e said...

Posted the last comment as Sam. Used the wrong identity - should be Max-e.

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