Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Criminal Parking

As you all know, I'm a stern opponent of the death penalty. Although sadly, there are some crimes for which it is the only appropriate form of punishment. Parking in two spaces is one such offence.

It's ALWAYS the owners of brand new, shiny and expensive luxury vehicles who do this. They roll up into a parking lot and decide that their new ride is too perfect to risk proximity to the trash regular plebs drive - so they straddle the white line to keep regular folks at bay.

I hate these people.

I hate them with such a vengeance.

I never experienced this phenomenon in England, but in America there seems to be some misguided belief that the value of the car you drive somehow relates to the strictness in which you have to obey the traffic laws. BMW and Mercedes owners in America, for example, are always far more likely to speed, cut you up and switch lanes without using their turn signals (another offence that should be punishable with death.)

It's always these idiots who decide to play the two-space parking game.

I can understand that they're protective of their expensive cars (despite driving them like they're stolen.) But American car parking spaces are so enormous anyway that there's really no advantage to be had by selfishly claiming two of them.

In fact, your car is more likely to be 'randomly' selected for obscene messages scrawled on the windshield in lipstick, nasty notes left under the window wipers or tyres being deflated.

Stop being such selfish oafs and park your cars normally.


Slutty McWhore said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog. Yes, I do remember hearing that St John's Wort can make the Pill stop working!

By the way, I may have to take back the comments I left on EmmaK's blog about the crappiness of American lovers. I've been having the best sex of my life with a boy from Ohio. Six times yesterday! Wow!

Still the vast majority of American men are shite, though.

Meghan said...

Double parking should be punishable by requirement of driving behind semi's during rush hour.

Bina said...

I couldn't agree more! I cannot stand people who don't use the turn signals! I have friend that I told her unless she starts using hers, I will NEVER ride with her again. And what about those big 'ole trucks that park sideways, taking up THREE spots! UHHHHHH!

Nick said...

Don't worry, the price of gas will inevitably keep rising and soon you'll all be on bikes instead. Problem solved!

GEMMERZZ said...

these guys would be LUCKY if i left a note using LIPSTICK... usually keys are more effective in making your mark. ;)

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

Have you ever watched "Shoot 'Em Up"? Clive Owen goes on this rant about luxury car drivers who are inconsiderate rich pricks, who don't signal, and they weave back and forth between lanes. Ultimately, he makes the BMW driver crash, hehehe.

But I hear you! Arrogant SOB drivers!

Jodi said...

Such a huge pet peeve of mine. Very few things can make me so ANGRY as seeing someone parked like that. Bastards.