Now I love oysters - in the neat, twee bowl of crushed ice at a restaurant in La Rochelle. I wasn't quite sure about preparing them ourselves. But what was the worst that could happen? Apart from vomiting, stomach cramps etc...
Actually, none of that was likely to happen. Oyster farming is an incredibly well regulated industry in France and the fact that people buy thousands of the things in market stalls across France suggest that the dozen Tina and I blew five euros on were very unlikely to poison us.
Oysters are bivalve saltwater mollusks, who filter five litres of water through their shells every hour, gobbling up the plankton they find there. They used to be the foodstuff of the very poor and working class, who had to eat a lot of them considering that a dozen oysters contains only just over 100 calories!
About a hundred years ago, oysters became a delicacy due to pollution and overfarming and an industry preparing these shelly snacks cropped up. In France, it's possible to buy all sorts of oysters, of various grades, throughout the year. With trains, trucks and refrigeration, fresh oysters can hit the dinner tables of Paris within hours of being picked. However the famous rule - never eat an oyster unless there's an 'r' in the month (so May, June, July and August are excluded) holds fast. That's because this is the oyster breeding season, when the texture of the mollusks becomes milky and soft.
In my limited experience, oysters are bought fresh from the market, still tightly sealed in their shells. In order to enjoy them, they need to be taken home and served that day.
Scrub the shells under running water, to dislodge all the grit and flaky shells. Then, place a folded tea-towel in the palm of one hand and use an oyster knife (or other short, strong blade) to open them up.
You need to cup the oyster in the hand with the tea-towel, so the 'narrow' hinged end is pointing towards you. Carefully slide the knife into the 'hinge' and swivel it from side to side, applying a small amount of pressure. Don't push too hard - you're more likely to slip and stab yourself than prise open the shell. Eventually, you will feel it 'give' and the blade will sink in - followed by a gush of water out.
Keep the knife in the shell and scrap the top half. This will slice off the muscle the oyster will still be using to keep it's shell shut. Then, with a bit more pressure, you should be able to open up the shell and see your little grey snack peering sightlessly up at you.
Tip the water out of the shell and place on a plate of bed of crushed ice.
To enjoy an oyster, you need to first sever the same 'shell' muscle on the bottom of the shell as you did on the top half, when you first opened the shell. That will leave the mollusk floating about in the centre of the shell.
A squirt of lemon, Tabasco or pinch of salt can be added, depending on your taste. Then just lift the shell to your lips and let the oyster slip down your throat.
Delicious!
The oysters Tina and I bought (who kindly modelled for this post) came from the Ile de Oleron, near the Ile de Ré and only an hour's drive from my parent's place.
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