"Bonjour, je suis le moody, brown-eyed Boo..."
This season, Continental Boo sports French pajamas, a chewy French giraffe and a one-of-a-kind, handmade 'Noah's Art' patchwork quilt from Grandmere.
If you only watch the opening minutes of the latest Bond film, Quantum of Solace, you'd be forgiven for assuming that it's THE GREATEST JAMES BOND FILM OF ALL TIME.
Puddle Duck stands about ten inches tall. She's wearing kitty-dungarees and a dashing French bonnet.
The bonnet is velvet and SO typically French - it looks exactly like the bonnet of Liberty in that famous Delacroix painting during the French revolution.
Puddle Duck's kitty-dungarees are hemmed and waisted, but real clothing - not sewn into the body, so you can remove them should Puddle Duck find herself on one of the obligatory plages nudistes.
Puddle Duck's wings are lined with fabric with puddle-ducks on it!
Also, a sidekick for Puddle Duck, was one of my mother's distinctive lapinous. French children tend to have a bunny as a first toy and their ears are traditionally long for biting, sucking, chewing and dragging along. Mother makes hers especially so, and her bunny's faces are very stern and serious looking. I think that's cute - and it's wonderful because there are no buttons or eyes for little people to bite off and swallow.
I mean, 'traditional marriage' is as dead as disco. Two out of three marriages ends in divorce anyway. It's all a farce unless you're in it for the long haul, straight OR gay. It's my fifth wedding anniversary tomorrow and, as far as I know, we're on our way to beating the odds.
So please, tell me: "What is wrong with gay marriage?" and, to channel my high school history teacher, Mr Tosh, please let's see the thought process behind why you feel that way.
There will be no poo-pooing, no scorn, no insults and no judgement from me. Just open minded curiosity. To my mind, it's all outlined in the Declaration of Independence:
"...all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
In Loving vs. Virginia, the Supreme Court of the United States decision that allowed interracial marriage, it was declared:
"Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival.... To deny this fundamental freedom is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State."
If you disagree with that, why?
So the search for the next Gingermobile is still on - even though we've currently been surviving fine with just one car.
Top of the list? A car with elegant, powerful lines like the pimpin' Lincoln I bought when I moved to America. First choice? A Lincoln Continental Mark V.
I'd actually seen a few of these on craigslist for realistic prices.
A 77-79 Mark V featured a 6.6 litre V8 and the very epitome of luxury automotive styling and comfort. Of the 5,000 Mark V's made, most were 'designer' models with touches by designers like Givenchy and Cartier.
Not bad for $1000 off the Internet... Or so I thought, until I read this:
"The Mark V was tested by Germany's car magazine "Auto, Motor und Sport" in 1977 and to this day (2005) holds the record as the least fuel efficient car ever tested by them, averaging no more than 7 mpg and giving only an (extrapolated) 3.5 mpg under full acceleration."
Even for me, 7mpg is unacceptable.
Lincoln Continental Mark V? SO CLOSE - but no cigar.
Gingermobile Verdict? FAIL
Only Roger could make this 'look' look good.There's a reason Toyota is the Number #1 motor manufacturer in America. They produce cars that customers want. Ford, General Motors and Chrysler/Dodge have been gleefully churning out the same old shit for years seemingly oblivious to the fact that nobody buys them any more.
But what kind of world would it be without American cars?
I remember learning about the decline and death of the British motor industry and it was alarmingly similar to what's happening in America.
Britain used to have a wonderful car industry, producing sexy sports cars (MG and Triumph) and luxurious saloons (Jaguar and Woolsey) while delivering affordable family cars (Morris and Austin) and world-class luxury tourers (Rolls Royce and Bentley.)
The British Motor Industry: Then
But one by one, they all died out.
Because socialism was all the rage back in the 1960's, the government stepped in, first with the British Motor Corporation, which scooped up marques like Morris, Austin and MG, and then the 1970's era British Leyland, which added the rest. But by the early eighties, the British 'motor industry' was flogging re badged Hondas as 'The Triumph Acclaim' or the 'Austin Metro' and within a decade, even that disappeared off.
Rolls Royce and Bentley, for the first time since the 1930's, were separated. Volkswagen now make Bentleys. BMW make Rolls Royce. Land Rover and Aston Martin are made by Ford [Not any more - Editorial Bear] and Rover is in semi-existence somewhere in China. The rest? Ghosts, of a time long passed.
The British Motor Industry: Now
It's a tragedy.
And I don't see how the American car industry can do anything except go in the same direction.
After all, it's not just a matter of money. GM, Ford and Chrysler are shedding billions of dollars of capital each month, so a government handout would postpone the inevitable, at the very best.
It's a matter of ideas.
In order to become viable, the three American giants need to come up with a viable product they can afford to produce and consumers will pay for.
And even if they manage that, they'll have to do it better than Honda and Kia and Toyota.
The American government can lend the 'big three' as much money and support as they want - but unless they can give them a future - an idea - than no bailout is going to work. The great legacy of the American Motor Industry will be utterly doomed.
So I say the government gives motor industry more than a bailout cheque. They give them an ultimatum.
Here is 'X' billion dollars. In return for this, within ten years, we want a lean, sexy, full-loaded electric car for under $20,000 retail and with a 200 mile range available in motor dealerships nationwide. We want the new Model T. The new VW Beetle. The new Mini. The new it.
And if you fail to deliver, every board member will find themselves in jail until they've paid the taxpayer back. Bam!
Is anybody up to that challenge?
This is America. Scratch the surface and it's still cowboy country out here. Surely somebody has the guts to attempt the impossible.
After all, it's set to enter the marketplace in 2011 (if we're brave enough to let it...)
My, how they randomly spring up! You give them one name when they're born, but go through about a hundred different permuations in the following months.
Boo Boo the Choo Choo (Copyright Roly, Randomly Singing Stuff Productions 2008)
Despite an interesting premise, with ‘10 Books That Screwed Up the World’, Doctor Wiker ultimately falls foul of his own double standards. 
I'll admit, I tried to lead you all down the garden fence with yesterday's competition - but I'm still surprised nobody got it.
For a guy who's been dead for almost half a century, old 'Wonder Boy' Hoover has been getting a lot of column inches in the press recently: I'm not the only one who sees spooky similarities between his stratospheric rise to power and the career of modern wunderkind Barack Obama.
The criticisms Hoover's detractors made against him are also awkwardly similar to the attacks conservatives are currently making against Obama.
"There could not a be a finer candidate for President." So said Democrat Franklin D. Roosevelt, of the brilliant Hoover when he considered running for office in 1919. In the end, though, Hoover rejected joining the Democrat party, admitting he "couldn't run for a party whose only member in his boyhood home had been the town drunk."
Herbert Hoover became a registered Republican (although not above ditching the party for political expediency) but certainly didn't act like one, if you'd judge him by today's standards.
Hoover believed that government had a role in everything - and he had a role in just about every government department. The last president to have ever held a cabinet position before his election, the bossy, opinionated and forceful Hoover, pre-White House, defined his position as; "the Secretary of Commerce... and Under-Secretary of Everything Else."
He was a brilliant man with a forceful personality and when he finally ran for election, on the 1928 Republican ticket, his popularity was similar to Obama's in the 2008 election.
For example, if you think the media was biased towards Obama, think what rival Frank Lowden thought whenever he opened a newspaper: "They're full of of nothing but advertisements for Herbert Hoover."
Back in 1928, the south was as politically itinerant as always - but favored the Democrats (what had been the pro-slavery party) instead of today's Republicans. Hoover performed astonishing 'Obama-like' upsets by winning traditionally Democratic states like Florida, North Carolina, Virginia, Texas and Tennessee.
When he entered the White House after his triumphant victory, he boasted: "We in America today are nearer to the final triumph over poverty than ever before in the history of any land."
He said that just months before the Great Depression.
Hoover's Failure. Obama's Opportunity.
The reason so many people spot similarities between Herbert Hoover and Barack Obama is because they both found themselves facing the greatest economic crisis in their generation's history. It was Hoover's greatest failure. Conservatives today warn that Obama could follow in his footsteps.
Herbert Hoover's attempts to stop to U.S. economy circling the toilet-bowl included slapping tariffs on imported goods - which slewed exports to a halt and crippled the economy still further.
Then, as employment reached nearly 25% and the government found itself practically bankrupt, Hoover attempted to rescue the budget by overturning his treasury's popular tax cuts: That sent the top-level of taxation to an almost unprecedented peace-time rate of 73%.
Hoover matched these tax hikes with an explosion of spending, which Franklin D. Roosevelt described as "reckless and extravagant." The 1932 Emergency Relief and Construction Act attempted to ease unemployment by providing construction jobs, building public works across the country. In fact, all it did was contract the economy still further.
Modern-day Republicans might find it astonishing that one of their party is so famous for spending and taxing too much, increasing national debt, raising tariffs and blocking trade, as well as placing millions on the government payroll. Conservatives attack Obama with the same accusations levelled at Hoover, such as Roosevelt's would-be Vice President accusing Hoover of "leading the country down the path of socialism."
In fact, Franklin D. Roosevelt would surpass all of Hoover's government intervention when he lead America out of the Great Depression - and the foundations of The New Deal were laid firmly during Herbert Hoover's administration.
Roosevelt quietly proved that Hoover's greatest failing wasn't in spending too much government money in order to help the economy recover. It wasn't spending nearly enough.
Nevertheless, with 25% unemployment and nationwide poverty serving as the backdrop to the 1932 election, it was unsurprising that Hoover lost. When Franklin D. Roosevelt took the oath of office, Herbert Clark Hoover was generally considered; "the most hated man in America."
So here we are, 76 years later. In many ways, the script is the same, just with different actors taking the lead roles. George W. Bush is leaving office with dismal approval ratings and a legacy of Free Market Economics gone sour. As Barack Obama steps in to fill his shoes, it'll be up to him whether he's going to follow the route Herbert Hoover took, or emulate the legendary success of Franklin D. Roosevelt.
It's moments like these that make me so glad to have studied and maintained an interest in history. Liberal or conservative, I think it's always important to remember the words of poet and philosopher George Santayana:
'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'
This politician has been mentioned an AWFUL lot recently. Can you guess who he is?
Who could I possibly be talking about? Answers in the comments section, please, and all commentor's will be entered into my Christmas Competition (since only five people entered the original one!)
Awards on the Internet are like gold stars in school - the people handing them out aren't necessarily qualified to do so, but it doesn't stop them being really, really awesome to get...
(Un)scripted Sexuality: Sasha was probably the person I originally envisioned this award for, since she's definitely one of the smexiest bloggers out there - and stands head, shoulders and big, ol' sexy brain above her peers in the 'blogs about sexuality and stuff' category.
Jo's Haunted Eyeball: I actually know Jo in real life and she's pretty damn smexy in the flesh, too (totally has the Naomi Watts thing from Tank Girl going on) so it's no surprise that her blog really stimulates the old synapses. She writes movie and TV reviews - and they're awesome.
The Uneducated Housewife's Guide to Politics: Coffee Bean is a clean living, conservative Christian, so might not be entirely comfortable with the idea of me celebrating her charismatic cranium with a Big Sexy Brain Award.
Pandora Blake: Pandora's blog is definitely adult orientated - in fact, it's about spanking. That being said, she balances the line between saucy and smutty perfectly, so most people would find her blog no more offensive a good Carry On film.
Finally, we come to The Chemist and his Chemical Journey. I know he's a guy, but in accordance with the Captain Jack Harkness Principle, I'm confident enough in myself to admit that he's got a big, ol' sexy brain. In fact, The Chemist is quite extraordinarily well-endowed (brain wise, that is.)
Well, folks, the Gingermobile is no more.
When I was eighteen, I was driving the original Gingermobile - a '78 Triumph TR7 - and it was the bee's knees, the mutt's nuts and the cat's pajamas all rolled into one. Hopefully, the young couple I sold it to think exactly the same of my lovely car.
But like the passing of a beloved pet, it's not easy to fill the absence left by a heroic steed. I've been thinking long and hard about whether or not I even need a new Gingermobile - and, if I did, what that Gingermobile would be.
I can confirm only the following:
Currently, my eye is turning to my original American chariot, the pimpin' Lincoln of former New Jersey Governor Jim 'Friday Night Special' McGreevey himself.
That rampant red roadster, made famous by a mention on Playboy Radio's breakfast show, turned so many heads, I had to have a chiropractor on retainer (try her, she's the best in New York.)
With seating for six, trunk-space for golf clubs, suitcases and at least two dead bodies, plus square good looks like I used to have (before I was introduced to American-style meatloaf) the old 80s Lincoln Town Car personified the most grown-up aspects of my wildly immature car buying tastes.
Perhaps The Gingermobile will ride again - and perhaps, that's an indication of what it might look like...
Just a reminder about my Christmas Competition - head on over to this post, Congratulations Governor, and leave a comment to stand a chance to win.
ST. JOHNS, Ariz. – People in this small, tight-knit community are reeling from the killing of a well-liked man police say was shot by his own 8-year-old son. Full story here.
This time last year, I was struggling to even come up with an idea for my NaNoWriMo novel - which I had to pen 50,000 words of in just 30 days.
This beautiful northeastern state boasts both a rich rural economy and a bustling city center, with several major American corporations and factories headquartered in the capital, Nixon.The Bipartisan Bill for Social Justice
This bill comprises three amendments to the state constitution:
- The immediate statewide ban and subsequent illegality of all abortions, except in the case of rape and/or incest, or when the mother's life is in jeopardy.
- The immediate recognition all all same-sex marriages, granting exactly the same rights, responsibilities and duties of a traditional marriage between man and woman.
- The immediate and permanent discontinuance of Capital Punishment across the state, with the sentence of all death-row inmates to be commuted to life imprisonment without possibility of parole.
Would you help this bill become law? Or veto it?
2: The Statewide Project to Reduce Abortion
Both Democrats and Republicans wish to reduce the number of abortions performed in our great state. For that reason, a group of liberal Democrats and conservative Republicans have both formulated strategies to tackle the abortion issue statewide. As Governor, you are expected to get fully behind one particular strategy, but can't amend or alter the initiatives in any way. Which one would it be?
Your trusted advisers estimate that the Democratic project would be successful in reducing abortions in your state by as much as 35% over the course of the next three years. However, this project would cost the state millions of dollars and decrease the average age of teenagers starting sexual activity from 17 to 16.The Democratic Project for the Reduction of Abortion
The Democrats wish to spend tens of millions of dollars in explicit sex-education programs in school, promoting abstinence, safe-sex and the responsible use of birth control.In addition, they wish to launch several expensive family planning initiatives, which include giving out free condoms and birth control in low-income areas and allowing teenagers and minors to receive free birth control without the doctor informing their parents.
They would also role out dramatic welfare programs to encourage low-income families and single women to keep their babies, or assist them with giving their newborns up for adoption by encouraging adoption and fostering, including amongst unmarried couples and single gay people or same-sex couples.
The Republican Project for Life
The Republicans wish to make a constitutional amendment recognizing that life begins at the moment of conception, thereby making any and all abortions across the state illegal.
Your trusted advisers warn that this project would only eliminate abortions statistically, as hospitals and clinics would no longer record the number of abortions performed.
In fact, your advisers suggest that in combining the numbers of illegal abortions and those now performed out-of-state, the project could eliminate abortions by state residents as little as 15%. You will never know for sure.
In addition, they estimate it would see 1000 people jailed for involvement in illegal abortions over the course of the next few years and at least 50 deaths as a result of badly performed, unregulated 'backstreet' abortions. However, it would be very cost effective in comparison to the Democrat's plan.
ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE!
Just leave your comments below on or before December 10th and, if you're picked from the hat, you'll receive a copy of Bootleg Boys, signed, personalized and mailed out anywhere in the world (but not guaranteed to arrive before Christmas if you live somewhere stupid.)
by Roland Hulme
When it comes to doing business with bootleggers, Adventure Eddy soon discovers that breaking deals comes as naturally to them as breaking import regulations.
So when unscrupulous smuggler Joe Jenkins stiffs him as badly as he’s stiffed Customs & Excise, Eddy decides it’s time to take back what he’s owed.
But swindling a swindler isn’t as simple as it sounds – and the local police are getting increasingly suspicious.
Teaming up with a murderous ex-girlfriend, a scheming stripper and an underhanded attorney, Adventure Eddy embarks on his most ambitious exploit to date.
It’ll take daredevil driving, split-second timing and nerves of steel – but at the end of the day, that’s what being one of the Bootleg Boys is all about.
